


Heartlines

by aliceslantern



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Modern Fantasy, Trans Character, Unplanned Pregnancy, ienzo is a prince, ienzo is trans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:01:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 90,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24203284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliceslantern/pseuds/aliceslantern
Summary: Twelve years ago, Xemnas betrayed the royal court of Radiant Garden to his father, Xehanort. Prince Ienzo flees to another city and begins university in the aftermath, hoping the anonymity will protect him from eager eyes with ill intent. The darkness spilling across the country, as well as an individual from his past, cut short Ienzo's new beginning and bring new conflicts to light. Strained between the desires of his magic and his heart, Ienzo's choice will change him forever.Modern Fantasy AU, Soulmates, Zemyx. Updates Fridays until it's done.
Relationships: Aeleus & Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts), Demyx & Riku, Demyx/Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts), Demyx/Zexion (Kingdom Hearts), Even & Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts), Ienzo & Demyx & OC, the rest of the friendships are kind of spoilers
Comments: 59
Kudos: 62





	1. The Wolf

“Ienzo, get away from the window. At least until you get that goo out of your hair. You look frightful.”

Ienzo scowled. “Yes, yes. Sue me for wanting to see sunshine for the first time in weeks.” He checked his timer; ten more minutes. “You’re certain this will work?”

“It did on my slides. Though admittedly that is meaningless nowadays.” He sighed, and kept cramming his books into boxes. “Have you at the very least packed?”

Ienzo gestured to the two suitcases at the door. “What else is there to do?”

“...Quite. Well.” Even ruffled a hand through his hair. “I suppose that is that, yes? Though I admit I’m looking forward to the fresh air.”

“...To think there’d be a time I’d  _ wish _ I could frolic through the hills.” He rolled his eyes. His right was aching again, and without the curtain of his hair it felt very naked. 

“Will you be… alright, tonight?” Even asked. He pursed his lips.

“Alright enough.”

“...Thankfully Aqua’s given us a good head start.” He sighed. “I’m hoping… after all this we’ll finally shake them. The papers should be foolproof. No traces.”

“I suppose it could be worse.”

Even rested a hand on Ienzo’s shoulder. “You deserve a taste of normalcy, at least.”

Ienzo said nothing. He was apprehensive about “normalcy”. What if a taste just made him want the unattainable? No point living above his current means. “...Quite. Well. I should try and wash this out.”

The basement apartment was small, and for the past month or so it felt like they’d been living on top of one another. It was what they’d been able to find, given the… circumstances, but honestly Ienzo was ready to leave it behind for good. He needed breathing room, away from these walls which were always damp and smelled perpetually like mildew and fried onion, away from the strange pink mold which grew on the tiles of the bathroom no matter how diligently either of them scrubbed.

The water never got quite hot, and as he scrubbed at his scalp and eyebrows it just became cooler and cooler, until finally the water ran clear. He towel-dried his hair, shivering a little, and turned towards the mirror. 

“...Shit.” Ienzo sighed heavily. His hair was still, without a doubt, the strange violet-silver he’d been born with, the most visible sign of his magic abilities, his aura. It wasn’t even  _ tinted _ in the slightest.

“...That does not sound good,” Even said, from the other room. (Another thing about this apartment; its paper thin walls.) 

Ienzo opened the door and gave him a droll stare. Even pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Oh, child. Save frying open your hair follicles, I don’t think there’s anything else to be done. We’ve already tortured your scalp enough.”

Ienzo scowled at his reflection. “Do you truly think people will be looking for these signs where we’re going?”

Even considered. He held up strands of Ienzo’s tired, damp hair. “Perhaps not,” he said. “Many college students do torrid things to their hair.”

Ienzo considered his face one last time. He was glad to have his eye covered again. “I suppose that is true.”

They continued gathering their meager possessions in almost silence. Ienzo took one last look at the glorified walk-in closet he’d called a bedroom. He remembered other days, better days, when he’d had windows, bookshelves, days when he’d sit with Father in that rocking chair listening to those stories--

Ienzo took a quick breath. No good dwelling on any of this. In the kitchenette, he could see the sun setting… it was growing dark. The ache in his eye was worse now. He blinked, hard. 

“Ienzo?”

“Right. Yes. Coming.”

* * *

The stars in the night sky were unusually bright. He could barely see through the pain in his eye, blind as it was. The illusion didn’t have to last long. A few hours and they’d be away from all this nonsense. He stuffed his hair under the beanie, hurriedly penciled on some eyebrows--at least makeup worked. If he were braver he’d just shave himself bald. 

Even wrinkled his nose. “You look like a ne'er do well. Come on, then.”

Aqua, one of the resistance coordinators, would arrange for the pitiful remains of their things to be shipped. A black car waited for them outside, with taxi plates. Anyone would think they were going on vacation.

Even lowered his voice. “I’m told the driver knows. No need to waste your energy just yet.”

Ienzo supposed he should’ve felt anxious; but it was hard to feel anything other than the growing pain. Why? “Good.”

They loaded their bags and got in the car. It smelled like cologne, a rich, woody scent that was not at all obnoxious. 

“The train station,” Even said. “Please.”

The driver didn’t say anything. Ienzo couldn’t even see their face; all he could tell was that the person was large, muscular, built. But… he fielded out with his magic timidly. Why was this person… familiar? And why was this familiarity not off-putting? 

“As if Ansem would truly allow you the risk of long-haul public transport,” the deep voice said, and Ienzo’s heart leapt into his throat--

Even gasped a little. “Aeleus,” he said. “It  _ is _ you… after all this time--” 

“It is… good to see the two of you,” he continued. “Ienzo… you’re quite the young man now, aren’t you? I barely recognized you.”

Ienzo couldn’t quite swallow the emotion welling within him. “I’m twenty now,” he said. “But… where have you been, for--”

“I’ll explain everything,” Aeleus said. “Let’s keep things quiet, at least until we’re out of town.” 

Ienzo leaned back in his seat.  _ Aeleus _ . He hadn’t even known the man was still alive, let alone expected to see him ever again. He smiled despite himself.

“So Ansem is…” Even began timidly. “He’s still--”

“Yes. He sends his… regards.”

Even took a quick breath. Though it felt childish to do so, Ienzo reached across to give the man’s hand a quick squeeze. “The two of you arranged all this.”

“Forgive me for not sending word sooner.”

Even settled more comfortably. “And here I thought we’d be given over to a complete stranger.”

“For Ienzo? Never.”

* * *

They  _ were _ all silent for a time, as the night grew darker. Ienzo wanted to ask Aeleus a thousand questions--where the man had been, what he’d been doing, how he was, how the others were. Moreover… what he thought of Ienzo now, how he looked. Being grown was the least of the changes. He hadn’t fully let himself miss any of them now--better to grieve, instead.

The city gave way to hesitant countryside, opening up into wide, empty fields. Ienzo breathed a sigh of relief, even as the pain in his eye crescendoed. 

“Child,” Even began. “Are you alright?”

“My… eye is hurting,” he admitted. “I thought it would stop.”

“...What do you sense?”

Ienzo took a breath. He cast his magic out around them. He was aware he was basically setting a beacon for those that may be listening; but they were far enough out of the city that prying eyes were unlikely. “I sense  _ nothing _ ,” he admitted. “Out of the ordinary, anyway.” Creatures at the side of the road, their energies, an ambient current of magic from the earth itself.

“That is… strange,” Even said. “Unless--”

“It’s a new moon,” Aeleus said. “Doesn’t that affect it?”

“Not like this,” Ienzo said. “Not usually. Usually only when there’s--” The pain spiked, and he cried out.

“Ienzo,” Even gasped. “Oh--”

Aeleus pulled over. 

“Stupid,” Ienzo hissed. “They were using a jammer.”

“What?”

“Who?” Aeleus asked.

“The being that’s been following us.”

Sure enough, at the other side of the road they could see it, flickering, white, a large and graceful wolf. “How could he, during a new moon?” Even asked.

“It’s why I was thrown off. I thought it was merely interference." Ienzo swallowed the fear. 

“What are we waiting for?” Even asked. “Aeleus, go.”

“If we go he’ll make chase, and find out everything,” the man said. He undid his seatbelt and pulled something from under the passenger seat. “Let me speak to the bastard.”

“No,” Ienzo said. 

Aeleus took careful steps across the road, the headlights and the wolf the only thing illuminating the encounter. The wolf shifted, its light fading, into a man, one Ienzo had hoped to never see again. 

“It doesn’t make any sense,” Even said. “His power never works while--”

Ienzo reached out with his own, following Aeleus’s energy to hear the conversation.  _ I’m sorry, friend, _ he thought.  _ I know this is rude. _

“Long live the king,” the voice said smoothly.

“What is it you want, Saïx?” Aeleus asked.

“I know she’s there.”

Ienzo could feel Even’s nails digging into his wrist. 

“Whatever mutation gave you this ability is sorely mistaken,” Aeleus said. “These are merely refugees. I am allowed to transport them. I have the proper paperwork.”

“Then why does your car reek of royal magic?”

He shrugged. “You tell me. I just carry out the orders.”

“Aeleus, I know magic was never a specialty of yours, but I know you’re not an idiot.” Saïx turned and took a few steps towards the car. Ienzo winced. “You’re certainly hiding  _ something _ . Else the spell would not have taken effect.”

“You’re free to talk to them. I’m sure you’ll find nothing amiss.”

Ienzo took a deep breath. He wished Aeleus had given him more warning. Shaping an illusion when he was in this much pain was bound to be a challenge. He chose random faces for himself and Even, random voices, though he was also acutely aware this man could  _ smell _ when he was using magic--

He’d just have to be quick. Ienzo pulled the dagger out of his boot and slid it into the pocket of his hoodie. Saïx took long, languid steps towards them. He knocked on the window. Ienzo rolled it down, so slowly, bracing, already pulling for the spell--

“Don’t,” Even hissed.

“He already knows,” Ienzo said. 

“Isn’t it a bit late, for a drive?” Saïx asked. “Enough with the smoke and mirrors, Princess.”

Ienzo screamed and forced the spell out as hard as he could, knocking Saïx some ten yards up the street. He leapt out of the car and readied another spell, but he was already on his feet, again a glowing wolf, one running at him almost faster than he could perceive. Ienzo took a deep breath, knotting his hands, shaping the magic into blades, but they all just glanced off of the wolf’s fur like they were nothing.

What had they  _ done _ to him?

The wolf smashed through his magic shield and pinned him to the cold asphalt, its teeth inches from his throat--Ienzo tried to kick up a leg, to lob a spell into its ribcage, but the next thing he knew Aeleus was yanking it back by the throat with the handle of his tomahawk. Ienzo grasped at his dagger and lunged for the creature’s face--he was barely able to get in more than a superficial slash or two before it vanished into nothing, a light bouncing along the horizon in the opposite direction. The pain in his eye faded.

“Why the hell did you do that?” Even yelled. 

“He already knew,” Ienzo said. “He smelled me.” He turned to Aeleus. “Are you alright?”

He sighed. “Got in a few good scratches, but nothing major.” He dabbed at his bleeding forearm. Ienzo reached for it and whispered a spell; the wound closed instantly. “I was more worried about you.”

“You’re lucky neither of you got killed,” Even hissed, grasping Ienzo’s shoulders and appraising him. “I don’t know  _ what _ that lunatic did to invoke lycanthropic magic without a moon--” He exhaled. “It seems like all of our precautions were for nothing.”

“He still doesn’t know where we were headed,” Aeleus said. “Just that we’re alive, and we’re going  _ somewhere. _ As long as we approach this with caution… we may be fine.”

“I hope for Ienzo’s sake you’re right.”

Aeleus sighed. “It looks like we might have to go with Plan B.”

“I’d hoped that wouldn’t be the case, but…” Even smoothed back his hair. “Yes. You are right.”

“Best to go sooner than later,” Aeleus said. “Off we go, little one.” He looked at him more closely. “I never got to see you… after…”

Ienzo dropped his eyes. There was less pleasure in this now. “It took months, with magic,” he said softly. 

Aeleus gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “It suits you. No.” Ienzo realized in the scuffle his hat had fallen off, leaving his hair free and, thanks to the magic use, slightly luminous. “It  _ is _ who you always were, isn’t it?”

Ienzo nodded, blinking back the tears. 

There was a moment where they all tried to gather themselves. “Yes, yes,” Even said. “Enough with the drama. We haven’t got all night.”

They got back in the car and drove off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to CapriciousSieve for helping me with the summary!


	2. Old Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo, Even, and Aeleus settle into their new home in Twilight Town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In flashbacks prior to Ienzo's transition, "_____" denotes use of his deadname.

Ienzo tried to stay awake, but the long drive and his own exhaustion had him nodding in and out. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt safe like this, thanks to Aeleus.

"Get some rest, child," Aeleus said. "It's alright."

Even was on his phone, the glow bright against his pale face. "I reached out to the safe house. We should be set."

"That's good."

Ienzo slipped under.

In this dream, the ground underneath him was damp with dew. The magic doe, bright and glittering, danced for him, making him laugh. He'd been small, small enough that things were still good. He was still home.

"_____, child," Ansem said. He was still in his suit, doubtless having sought him after the endless parliament meetings. "Your creatures just get prettier and prettier."

"Merlin says my magic is almost as powerful as his." Smug.

Ansem chuckled. "It will be, child. Such is your bloodline."

"But practicing Protect is so boring. I want to do laser swords." 

Ansem ruffled his hair. "And you'll get there, but first you need to learn the basics--which is  _ control. _ I'm told you made quite a mess in Even's lab during your lesson."

His face burned. "It was an accident."

"I know. But all the more reason to take control over this part of yourself. Part of being a good ruler is self-restraint. And you want to be a good queen, don't you, _____?"

"...Yes, father." He dropped his eyes.

"Well. No need to be so serious. Why don't we get some ice cream?"

"...Even says you give me too much ice cream."

"I'd be a terrible parent if I did not occasionally spoil my child."

* * *

Ienzo woke slowly, blinking the wetness out of his eyes. It was light out now; he'd slept hard.

Father.

He tried not to think about him, because it always hurt. He hadn't seen him in years, not since--

"Alright, Ienzo?" Aeleus asked. "We should be there soon."

"Where  _ are _ we going?" Ienzo asked. "Even never told me what  _ plan B  _ entailed."

At his name, the man jerked awake. "I'd just drifted off," he muttered. "We're headed towards the coast. Twilight Town. Hopefully we can settle there and plan next steps."

Ienzo frowned. The city was one of the biggest, other than the capitol. "Easier to blend in in a bigger city?"

"Precisely," Even said, with a sigh. "There's still a university there."

"We can just… live?" Ienzo was more than a little skeptical. "After so much running?"

"The city government is neutral towards the monarchy at the moment, and historically were loyalists. Better to be… on this sort of ground, while the resistance gathers itself."

"No need for you to be miserable," Aeleus added. "So long as you're cautious."

“But… once they do  _ gather _ themselves?” Ienzo asked. He raised an eyebrow. “What then?” His own knowledge of the resistance was shadowy, vague--a network of survivors, monarchists and loyalists, and just other people who wanted to be rid of Xehanort’s stranglehold, who had lost people to his darkness. 

“Then we will figure out what to do,” Even said tiredly. His eyes were bloodshot. “It’s imperative we  _ keep you alive _ until then. That is to say…”

“Be prepared to keep moving?” Ienzo nodded. “Right.” He watched the city wash in around them, the protective wards around the city making the light rosy, like a sunset. Their contact had assured them that border control would allow Ienzo through, so long as they went to the right window.

Ienzo felt his heart beating harder now, and he pulled his hat a little tighter over his forehead. These moments were always tense, uncomfortable; what if this person had been caught? Or was forced to go to a different post? Or was simply ill? Ienzo held his breath, and he was fairly sure Even did as well, if the grip on his hand meant anything.

Aeleus rolled down the window. 

“Passport, please,” the voice said boredly, and Ienzo gave another small start; it took all his effort to keep his face neutral, disinterested, in case there were prying eyes. The guard, too, noticing Aeleus, tensed his jaw, but his eyes were shimmering. Even took a quick breath. Aeleus handed over their forged papers. “...Roll down the back window. Just need to see your faces.” His deep voice remained impassive. Ienzo swallowed down the joy, the relief, to see the familiar violet eyes, the tangle of thick black braids. 

_ Dilan, _ he thought desperately. So he was alive too, and not another casualty for the sake of his protection.

The man locked eyes for Ienzo; for a moment there was confusion, and then a sort of recognition, a  _ pride _ , almost. He nodded once. “I see all is in order,” he added in the same bored tone. “Enjoy your visit.”

They slipped through the barrier without trouble. Ienzo felt it frisk him and winced; it was like receiving a mild static shock. Even gasped out a breath. “Gods,” he whispered. “Gods. I hadn’t let myself think about him.”

“It seems Ansem really pulled out all the stops,” Aeleus added. “Keeping us safe… that we might one day be together again.”

_ Then why couldn’t he be here with me _ , Ienzo thought, though of course he knew why. If both the king and the heir were in the same room… all the easier to dispose of them.

Twilight Town smelled like salt. Salt, and the sea. “The marine biology program here is apparently very robust,” Even said. His voice wavered just the slightest, with emotion, Ienzo suspected. “You might consider it.”

“...Biology was never my favorite.” Even in hiding Even insisted on continuing his education; Ienzo suspected the man didn’t want to let his own genius go to waste. The guilt was always there; prior to all this, Even had been surgeon general, and a preeminent researcher in his field. Now he was a fugitive, and it was all Ienzo’s fault-- “Besides, I have a lot of catching up to do.”

Even laughed a little. “A lot of those general education classes will be a breeze, Ienzo. I think you’ll do fine.”

How odd, to just  _ go to college _ , to think about having a career. Would he ever? Would he not just be king? Or be dead? Would there ever be life after Xehanort? After the darkness?

Aeleus pulled up to an unassuming townhouse in a quiet, residential part of town. How bizarre, for it to be midmorning and for it to seem like twilight. It was quite easy on the eyes. Ienzo took in the neatly mowed lawn, the false stone front. His legs felt like jelly as he got out of the car. They only had one neighbor quite a few yards away; the next house was empty, for sale. All three looked almost exactly the same. “Cookie cutter,” he muttered.

“The point, Ienzo,” Aeleus said. “Let’s get our things.”

The house had been pre-furnished; everything seemed a little old, a little broken in. The walls were a pale blue on the lower floor, making the hardwood flooring seem all the darker. Even set his bag down in the kitchen. “I do so despise the modern white-on-white-on-white,” he said. 

It was because it was too like his lab. Too much of a reminder. Ienzo bit his lip. “I do as well. Quite lazy. But an improvement on where we came from.”

“Yes, at least things here smell clean.” He poked around in the cupboards, in drawers. “Everything seems to be in order.”

“So quickly?”

Aeleus set a suitcase by the stairs. “For you, Ienzo, there are always set plans in place.”

“All these moving pieces I’m never allowed to see,” he said darkly. “I’m not a child.”

Even scowled. “No, but gods forbid you get captured and interrogated.”

“As if I’d ever say anything to anyone.”

His green eyes glinted. “You say that now.” He took off his glasses, heavy and dark-rimmed. “Besides, Ienzo. I’m sure we’d all rather you speak if it meant you could keep your life.”

Ienzo slid off his dirty hat. “Was that all from the car, Aeleus?”

“...Quite.”

Ienzo approached him slowly. “Are you… staying with us, then?”

A nod. “For the time being. Even has done well, protecting you, but if we are to be out in the open…”

“I could use a guard.” He tried to bite down on the emotion he felt. “Well. I’m glad. Even is horrid company.”

“Ungrateful brat,” Even called from in the kitchen, but without venom. 

“Come here. I never did get to see you in the light.” 

Ienzo did so. 

“You got so tall,” Aeleus murmured, setting his hand on Ienzo’s shoulder. 

“Well. Small compared to the two of you.”

“We’ve missed so much time.” He exhaled heavily. “I’d hoped your childhood would be better than--”

“We are all here, healthy, and alive,” Ienzo said. “I should take that and be grateful.”

“...Indeed.” Aeleus drew him into an embrace. He smelled so the same, and for a moment Ienzo couldn’t do anything but drink it in. He hadn’t realized how badly he needed comfort.

“...Both of you so emotional,” Even added, coming into the room. Then, “It would be good to have the presence of old friends.”

Aeleus gently let Ienzo go. “Even. I never did imagine you with long hair.”

“Somewhere my first chemistry professor is crying,” Even said, handling a piece of it. “Best to be somewhat unrecognizable.” He smiled a little. He reached to take Aeleus’s hand, and the two embraced. “I do hope you’ll tell us what it is you’ve been up to.”

“And I shall--once we’ve all gotten some rest. I’m sure you haven’t slept a whit more than you had to since this was all in motion.”

“...Quite,” Even admitted. “Yes, it is necessary.”

“You two go on, then.”

Ienzo carried his things upstairs. It was left unclear which of the bedrooms were to be his, so he took the one facing the small yard. It did feel so good to get out of that drab apartment, to see greenery again. To breathe. There was nothing here on the walls, a simple double bed, a writing desk, a dresser and an empty bookshelf. He unpacked--not that it took long--and perched on the mattress.

He would never feel settled, he guessed.

* * *

After a shower and a pathetic attempt at a nap, Ienzo went back downstairs to see if anything had been left to eat. 

“I made some pasta,” Aeleus said, startling him. He was sitting at the small kitchen table, reading a book. “It’s in the fridge.”

“...Thank you.” He gathered some and heated it, got water. Ienzo realized he was kind of procrastinating. He joined Aeleus.

“Even is asleep, then?”

“Yes.” 

“At some point today or tomorrow we’ll need groceries.” He set the book aside. “How… are you, Ienzo?”

“...A loaded question. I could ask the same.”

“Quite.” Aeleus cleared his throat. “It has been… much too long. You’re grown now. I can barely believe it.”

“Trust me, under Even’s watchful eye I certainly don’t  _ feel _ it.” 

Aeleus barely smiled. “It was his idea, to allow you to come here. Now here, here, but--”

“...Somewhere safe… relatively speaking,” Ienzo finished. 

“I assume you barely feel like you hit the ground.”

Ienzo picked at his bowl. He wanted spices, cheese, but he knew Aeleus had done his best with what had been left. “A month here, a month there. Not so many are as well-traveled.”

Aeleus chuckled. 

“But… you are right. He was always… overcautious about moving on. I used to… resent it, especially if I made some playmate or another. But I know now he was trying to keep me from prying eyes, and depending on the territory, there were many.” He kept his eyes on the wood-grain. “You and he have sacrificed so much for me--”

“Hush, child,” Aeleus said. “When we took our posts under Ansem, we knew full well what could possibly happen.”

“Twelve _years_ in hiding?”

“You sacrificed it too.”

Ienzo exhaled. “What of you, then?”

Aeleus leaned back in the wooden chair. “I too, have… wandered,” he began, carefully. “As soon as we were… split up, I immediately sought to ingratiate myself with the resistance. It took time, to find someone trustworthy, who was not merely  _ pretending _ to be a part of it. I worked with them to scout cities, gauge the threat of darkness. Mostly… I tried to find Ansem. I tried to find  _ you _ . But Even covered his tracks well. I… have seen this land begin to fall to darkness. The whole west coast is all but lost to lawlessness.”

Ienzo exhaled. 

“We sought to get rid of whoever allied themselves with Xehanort, but it became clear it was a losing battle. People  _ buy _ his message, and then the darkness twists their minds.”

“There has to be something we can do more immediately,” Ienzo said. “There has to--”

“Your duty now is to remain alive,” Aeleus said.

“But I can never be a decent ruler if I let my subjects suffer for my life--”

“You can’t be a decent ruler if you’re dead,” Aeleus leveled. 

“I’ve done enough waiting. Let me be a part of this, Aeleus. Let me--” But the man’s face had lost all expression. 

“The time is not yet right,” Aeleus said softly.

“When will it be, then? How much has to be lost?”

“The decision is not up to me.”

“Then who? My father?” Ienzo hadn’t meant for their first real conversation in years to be an argument. 

Aeleus said nothing.

Ienzo frowned. “I should go place some wards around the property line,” he said. “At least that is  _ something _ I can do.”


	3. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo begins preparing for university, and has an unexpected run-in with another magic user.

“See, there,  _ now _ you look like a respectable young man, and not a hoodlum,” Even said. They’d gone clothes shopping, mostly because nearly all of Ienzo’s things were worn, and he needed clothes for school.

School. He looked at himself in the mirror, the gray sweater vest, dark slacks. This was all so surreal. He felt, again, guilty about the money that was being spent, though Even always assured him they were “provided for” and did not need to worry. “It is nice, to pick what I  _ want _ to wear, rather than costumes or castaways.” Or illusions. 

“I agree wholeheartedly--I never want to wear  _ denim _ again if I can avoid it.” The way he snarled out the word made Ienzo smile. “Come now. Buck up. Lots to do still, and we don’t want to be late, do we?”

His heart skipped a little. “...I suppose not.”

It was odd to move in daylight, uncomfortable. Ienzo had to consciously remind himself not to cast an illusion, to get used to the world seeing his face. To save his energy. Pedestrians’ eyes slid off of him like he was nothing remarkable, and he hoped dearly he wasn’t. After all, if anyone was looking, likely they’d be looking for a  _ princess _ . He couldn’t even be sure Saϊx had gotten a good enough look at him in his baggy clothes and hat to really discern the… changes. Even seemed to sense his anxiety and patted him on the small of his back. 

They took a streetcar across town to the university. The smell of salt and the sea was stronger here, and when they got off at the station, Ienzo could  _ see _ it, the thin blue band in the distance. The sight of it evoked memories ( _ playing with Braig in the waves as Father watched nearby, as Even fretted for his safety _ ) that Ienzo had to swallow down. “They can truly get wards all the way down to the sea?” he asked instead.

Even adjusted his glasses. “Just to fifty kilometers outside the water--then it becomes a legal issue.” He rolled his eyes.

“I should like to meet that magician.”

“More like a team, I assume, but quite. It’s nothing to be underestimated. You know.” Lowering his voice. “You’re capable of such things on your own.”

“...I’m painfully aware.” He exhaled. “It’s a shame I cannot make myself useful without starting international conflict.”

It was meant to be a joke, but Even’s smile seemed fake.

The university was old, one of the oldest in their country, the rolling lawns well-manicured. Ivy climbed up the stern brick buildings, curling in the dully-colored shingles. There was a fountain in the main courtyard, and pre-season students gathered here, drinking coffee, playing frisbee, flirting. Ienzo felt as though he were observing wild animals in their natural habitat; Even granted him a moment. Finally, he turned away.

Some of the buildings were modern, architecturally impractical with their metal and glass. “Is this giving you nostalgia for your own time at university?” Ienzo asked drolly. 

Even wrinkled his nose. “Ah--not quite. Moreso… reminding me of that time.”

Ienzo knew Even had met his father at university--the man hadn’t even known Ansem (then only a noble, not a king) was royal. Apparently he was the only one willing to challenge Ansem’s ideas--hence, the pull between the two. “I’m sorry.”

Even smiled tiredly. “No matter.”

In the cramped registrar, Ienzo used his forged papers to enroll, took a rather unflattering photo for his student ID. Signed up for some classes--slim pickings at this point, he ended up with a rather more eclectic schedule than he would have wished--and this settled, they went to buy books, passing a building labeled as the library on the way. Ienzo had not been to a proper library since-- It almost felt as though his heart were crying out. 

Even must have noticed this desire. “I suppose we could take a few moments,” he said instead. “I  _ should _ like to see the resources here for myself. Text me when you’re ready to move on.”

He was being set free. Unreal. Then again, it wasn’t exactly realistic for Even and Aeleus to hover over  _ everything _ he did. In an emergency… Ienzo was more than capable of defending himself. So Ienzo wandered.

The library was four floors built into a hill, the first of which had a cafe in the lobby, and a checkout and research desk. Pleather armchairs and small tables were scattered across the space, along with banks of computers. Large, long windows let in a lot of the rosy daylight, with chandeliers compensating the difference. He thought he felt the hairs on his arms rise with a sort of pleasure.

Ienzo took one of the staircases down to the second floor, which comprised of nonfiction. He ran his fingers along the spines absently, just to  _ feel _ them. Aisles and aisles and aisles of  _ books, _ which for the majority of his childhood had been his only companions. The thrill of being able to read voraciously again had him near tears. 

The next floor had more study space, along with study pods and conference rooms for student gatherings, and a small display for so-called “Zines.” Ienzo was less interested in these at the moment. He went down to the last floor, the only one partially belowground, and there it was.

Fiction.

How else had he gotten through what he did without some kind of escape? Without someone else’s story to comfort him? Even before all this desolation, he’d loved stories.

Then the memories, without warning-- _ let her enjoy her book, Even. Fiction instills a sense of empathy. _

_ But she’ll fall behind-- _

_ Did  _ you _ spend your childhood days hovering over calculations? _

_ I… suppose not. _

_ Really, Even, sometimes I think  _ you _ should invest yourself more in stories. _

Ienzo was startled from this reverie by a loud  _ bang _ , which immediately sent a fizz of adrenaline through him, his magic waking up and prickling under his skin. 

Another bang, then a growl, and a man’s voice-- “fucking  _ shit. _ ”

A growl?

Ienzo moved cautiously towards the noise, gripping the small knife in his pocket. He poked his head around one of the shelving units.

A student had been backed into a corner and was flailing wildly with their bag, attempting to drive away the creature aiming for their chest. A creature black as ink, darkness boiling off of it--

A Heartless? But wasn’t this place supposed to be warded against--

“Help me! Oh god--”

Ienzo couldn’t be sure if the student had seen him or was just crying out. Even would tell him to leave well enough alone. But Ienzo could not in good conscience do that--besides, there was nobody else down in this forgotten corner of the library. He pulled at his magic, letting it warm his skin, and then launched a volley of hard light blades through the Heartless’s back. It was a weak one; it vanished instantly.

The student was still crouched against the wall, breathing heavily. Ienzo could see him more clearly now; his blonde hair must’ve been eclectically styled before all this, but in the ensuing scuffle had gotten mussed. The knee of his jeans was torn, and bloody, and he moved his left arm flinchingly, like it hurt. The terror in his sea-green eyes hadn’t faded, however. “Your hair,” he said breathlessly. “It--it’s glowing.”

Ienzo touched it. Stupid. Now he was going to have to wipe this poor man’s memories. “Are you alright?” he asked instead. “Your knee…”

He looked at it, as though startled to discover the blood. “I’m more worried about my hand. I caught myself with it when that thing threw me.”

He’d already come this far. “Let me take a look at it.”

The boy winced when he took a step forward. “You’re a… magician,” he said. 

“Obviously.” He had to fight to stop scowling, reminding himself the man was likely in some kind of shock. He took another few steps forward and offered his hand.

Shakily, he placed his injured one in Ienzo’s. Even without a spell Ienzo could tell it was broken, the blood vessels broken and starting to swell.

“Of course it was my fucking left hand,” the man said, and his voice broke a little. “It’ll probably never be the same--oh mother _ fucker _ !” His voice hitched in pain as Ienzo set the bone and healed it with another spell.

“I should’ve warned you that it hurts. Sorry.”

The boy flexed his hand. “Huh.”

“A simple “thank you” would suffice.” Ienzo moved to fix his knee while he was at it.

He blinked, smoothing the hair out of his eyes. “No, I… yeah, totally, thanks, I’m just--” He took a quick breath. “You saved my bacon, man. I’d have been…”

“One with the darkness,” Ienzo said dryly.

He furrowed his brows. “Is that what that thing was? A Heartless?”

“Quite.”

“I thought they were… old wives’ tales.”

“I’m confused too.” He began picking up the boy’s papers, which were spread everywhere, to delay the inevitable. He hated doing this; it always made him feel dirty. The papers weren’t essays, but rather compositions. Music. He stared at it, dazed. 

“Oh… I’m a musician,” the boy offered shyly. “I’m a Music Ed major. Which is why I was so freaked out when that thing broke my left hand.”

“A stringed instrument, then?”

He nodded. “Not sure if you’ve ever heard of it--sitar. One way to stand out, I guess.”

Ienzo handed over the papers. “I wasn’t sure how to order them.”

A laugh. “I’m sure I can figure it out.” He offered his now-unbroken hand. “Demyx.”

“What’s that?”

“My name?”

Ienzo blinked. He really should wipe the last fifteen minutes from this man’s memory  _ right now. _ He seemed the chatty type, which was so not good for this situation. “I’m… Ienzo.” Demyx’s hand was warm, the fingertips rough and callused. “I should… get going. I still have to go buy books and whatnot, and I’m sure you’re busy.” He could still do the spell once he’d turned his back. Simple. 

“Wait, wait, wait. Hey.” He frowned. “You just saved my life, dude. At least let me buy you a coffee, or something. Or show you around. You’re new here, right?”

“Well--”

“Please? I’ll feel guilty otherwise.”

He wavered. He’d let go of Demyx’s hand, but he could still  _ feel _ it in his, the magic under his skin prickling in a way he did not know how to read. Accepting this offer would just make him feel worse about the inevitable oblivion, and would be all the more jarring for this man. “I’m not--”

Demyx sighed. “It’s because of the magic, isn’t it?” he asked. “You’re scared I’ll go blabbing all about your secret.”

Ienzo blinked. 

He reached into the collar of his t-shirt and brought out a small pendant on a strip of black twine. It was the exact color of his eyes, the shape of a teardrop, curving slightly to the left, as though it had been a circle once, halved now. In this poor lighting, Ienzo could  _ barely _ see a rune. He wasn’t sure what the character meant, but he didn’t need to know, exactly. 

Demyx had magic blood too. “But if you have magic, why didn’t you--?”

His expression hardened a little, and he tucked the charm back under his shirt. “It’s a story for another day,” he said simply. “But I won’t tell anyone, Ienzo.”

“I suppose I should say--thank you.” He swallowed. He was feeling something, but he wasn’t sure what. He hadn’t thought he would  _ ever _ run into another person like him, however faint and dilute Demyx’s bloodline was, for his hair to still be blonde. Most magicians were… if not in hiding, then snatched up by local governments for use, or… depending on where they were… worse.

He chuckled weakly. “So, coffee?”

“...Sure.”  
  
He and Demyx walked in silence back up to the cafe. Demyx got them both matcha lattes, and for a moment they just sat drinking. “...So,” Demyx began at last. “You’re a… freshman, or what?”

“Freshman, technically.” Ienzo wrinkled his nose.

“You don’t look like a naive eighteen-year-old.”

He smiled despite himself. “Not quite. Ah--some family trouble derailed my studies for a while.” “Trouble” was putting it lightly. 

Demyx nodded. “Do you know what you want to major in?”

“...You think I would.” He shook his head. “My father wants me to go for the sciences. My heart has always been with literature, or library science, but… likely I’ll just eat my table of crow and go for international relations.” He sipped.

Demyx cocked his head. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why go for something you don’t care about?”

“It’s… not always that simple,” Ienzo said. 

“Why not?”

He smothered a flicker of irritation and, he suspected, despair. “My family has… certain expectations of me.”

“So? It’s your life.”

He smiled a little. “It is, but…” He trailed off vaguely, hoping Demyx would draw his own conclusions.

“The pressure?” He nodded. “Yeah, I… know what you mean.” For a second, his expression became pinched, morose, before it resumed its previous cheer. “So what do you do for fun?”

Ienzo laughed despite himself. He’d never had much time for fun. “I suppose this sounds rather pathetic… but mostly I  _ read _ .”

“What do you like to read?”

Ienzo looked into the mouth of his coffee cup. “Fantasy. Science fiction. Anything with good enough worldbuilding to… spirit me away. Though of course I do love the classics in their turn.”

“So you don’t exactly get out much.”

Ienzo felt vaguely naked. He realized this was one of the first times he was having a conversation with someone his age, and felt a blush heat his cheeks. Before he could brush it away with an illusion, Demyx added,

“Hey, no, I get it. Stuffy strict parents. Bet they’ve been keeping you on a short leash. You look so  _ tense _ .”

He felt another small laugh leave him. ““Short leash” does not even begin to cover it.”

Demyx smiled. Ienzo felt that unnameable feeling again, prickling in his magic. He was fairly sure Demyx wasn’t spellcasting on him, to cause it. Perhaps he was simply reacting to the magic in the man’s blood? Or else… the way this warm light was hitting his green eyes. Perhaps--

“But you’re in college now,” Demyx asserted. “You get to cut loose, have some fun. Really find yourself, and all that crap, you know?” He leaned forward a little. “Listen, if you need some help, I’m happy to be of assistance.”

“What, you’re a party animal?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Not  _ really _ , but… well. I’ve got friends who’d be more than happy to show you how to have a good time.”

Friends. Plural. Ienzo again felt that flash of despair, but kept his face neutral. Would Even ever allow him to go to a party, a nightclub? Would it be too dangerous?

He was here to live a normal life.

Ienzo nodded once. “I’d be willing to give it a try.”

Demyx’s smile sent another current through him. “Awesome.”

* * *

After this Demyx insisted on showing Ienzo around campus. Ienzo could have easily gotten a campus map, but it was a somewhat useful experience. “Do not  _ ever _ eat at the Caf if you can avoid it,” he whispered theatrically. “The only edible thing they’ve got there are the chicken fingers, and that’s ‘cause they come frozen in big bags.  _ None _ of the people there can pass a ServSafe test. My friend Lea worked there for all of ten minutes.  _ Disaster. _ ”

“Where  _ should _ I eat, then?” Ienzo asked, amused. 

“Most of the cafes have decent soup and sandwiches and shit. The only good place that has anything hot is the Mount.” He gestured vaguely towards some building in the distance. “Every other Thursday they have salmon. Though if you want it you have to be prepared to wait a while. It is  _ to die _ for.”

“That, or you’re starved of a good meal,” Ienzo said.

“Same diff,” Demyx said, with a shrug. “Anyone who’s smart just buys groceries and cooks for themselves.”

“Sounds like you’ve been here a while.”

Again, that pang of pain on his face, quickly covered up. “This is my last year. After this… I mean, who fucking knows.”

“You said you’re Music Ed. Can’t you follow it up with a Master’s?”

A wry chuckle. “I’m not made of money. Gotta pay the first one off first, you know?”

“...Indeed,” Ienzo said, because he did not know how else to follow that up. 

Demyx brought him back to the library. “Hey, give me your phone,” he said.

“What for?”

His expression became a little sly. “You know, Ienzo, when someone tries to give you their number, you’re supposed to just roll with it.”

His heart started a little, and thoughtlessly, he complied. 

“...Sweet. Hey, text me any time, alright? I still kind of owe you one.” He winked.

“...Sure,” Ienzo said dazedly. 

Before he could really comprehend this, though, he saw Even striding towards him, looking as though he had smelled something sour. “ _ There _ you are,” he said. “Why haven’t you answered my calls?” Then he saw Demyx, taking him in with something like disappointment.

“He offered to show me around campus, and I took the invitation,” Ienzo said. “Demyx, this is my father, Even.” It had once felt unnatural to refer to the man as such; in the beginning it had functioned as a cover story. Now, given that he’d raised Ienzo far longer than Ansem had, it was simply truth. 

“Nice to meet you,” Demyx said, sticking out his hand. 

“...Pleasure,” Even said coolly. “Well, Ienzo, it’s going to be dark soon. We should finish our affairs here and get going.”

“I’m sure I’ll see you around,” Demyx said. “Later.” He saluted once and ran off.

Even scoffed. “Well, I suppose it was nice of him to do that for you. Though that hair is… something.”

“You said yourself “college students do torrid things to their hair.””

“...I know.” He wrinkled his nose. Then, lowering his voice. “Just… be careful who you become friends with, yes?” 

“...Quite.”


	4. Bloodlines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo starts classes. A lunch with peers ends up with more than he bargained for.

Later that night, still trying to reckon with the strange feeling Demyx had inflicted upon his magic, Ienzo went to Aeleus to tell him what he’d witnessed.

“A Heartless, here?” he asked. “You’re sure of what you saw?”

“I killed it myself.” Ienzo sighed. “Though--it did not reek of darkness, the way they usually do. Perhaps a newborn?”

He frowned. “Potentially. I’ll--reach out to my contacts, and see if they know anything.”

Ienzo nodded. Aeleus and Even had claimed the downstairs study as their own, jockeying for space in a strange show of dominance. “There’s… something else worth mentioning.”

“And that is?”

“The… boy I saved. He’s part of one of the bloodlines.”

“And he could not defend himself?”

Ienzo shrugged. “I was confused as well. I was going to wipe his memories--but he showed me this pendant, this rune. I wish I’d gotten a better look at it.” He sighed. “He also gave me his phone number.”

“Might be worth associating with him--if so just to learn something.”

“Unless his is one of the bloodlines associated with Xehanort.”

“It’s… possible, I admit. But if the boy could not fell one Heartless, I doubt he could hurt  _ you _ .”

Ienzo felt a rush of affection towards Aeleus. Unlike Even, who tried to protect him from everything, Aeleus had faith in Ienzo’s abilities. Martially, he  _ had _ trained him, and Ienzo’s spells spoke for themselves. “I shall… keep an eye on it.” He bit his lip, than forged forward. “When we spoke… I felt something in my magic. I’m not sure  _ what _ , as it did not seem like any spell I’ve ever encountered, or read about.”

Aeleus’s eyes glinted. “That is… curious. Was it like a pull, a thrall, perhaps?”

“I don’t think so… but it was… odd.”

“What did the pendant look like?”

Ienzo described it, and Demyx, as much as he could.

Aeleus just seemed more confused, furrowing his brow. “None of the bloodlines have that resemblance. You said it looked halved?”

“Yes.”

He knotted his hands. “I will ask about that too… but Ienzo. Please, as charming and normal as this boy might be… be careful.”

“I… will.”

* * *

This settled, Ienzo began classes.

It was strange, to take transport by himself, to have some modicum of independence. Even texted and called him constantly, worrying over him. But for the most part, Ienzo’s first days at the university were… ordinary.

He found himself rather bored with his coursework. A lot of the general education classes were just that-- _ general _ , and given the limited amount of courses afforded to him due to his late enrollment, not what he was particularly interested in. He found himself saddled with Intro to Psychology, City-State Culture and You, Music from the 43rd Century On, Women in Contemporary Literature, and Magic and the Law. Of this courseload, only psychology and literature were intriguing, though, he found, incredibly easy. Five page papers? One chapter readings? He aced assignments easily, found himself both grateful and frustrated that Even had been so demanding in his education. It gave him plenty of free time to study on his own.

His psychology professor actually stopped him one day after class. The lecture hall consisted of ninety students, and Ienzo was not the most colorful character there, literally speaking. “Ienzo, right?”

He adjusted his grip on his bag. “Yes, sir?”

“Forgive me--you’re not in trouble for anything,” the man said. He was older, a little wizened, with thick dark hair partially pulled up. “I’m just a little… I suppose, bemused would be the word. Clearly--you’re already beyond the mark of anything you’ll learn here. Your last paper was testament to that.  _ I _ hadn’t even read some of the sources you cited.” He smiled. “Why haven’t you tried to test out of these basic courses? I’d love to see you in one of my three or four hundred level modules, where you might actually be  _ challenged _ .”

Ienzo hesitated, feeling something like pride and, at the same time, anger. It was Even’s idea for him to go to school. Why hadn’t he told him this was an option? “Simply because I did not know I could,” he admitted. “Though that must be lack of foresight on my part.”

“That, or an overworked advisor.” His professor exhaled. “Let me speak with them. I’m happy to keep you in this class, but you’d be bored to tears.”

“That would be… much appreciated.”

* * *

Ienzo was still pondering over this dilemma, unsure of how to respond to Even’s latest messages, a warm anger budding under his skin. Why would Even deliberately hold him back? He slid into his seat in his music class, prepared to simply disappear into the lecture hall and read for the class time. His professor chatted on about assignments (papers which were usually simply  _ reactions _ to that week’s listening assignment), but before she launched into the lecture, she decided to introduce the class’s new TA. Ienzo felt him before she even said the name.

Demyx.

The boy must’ve felt him too; his eyes snapped towards Ienzo’s, and he gave him a smile. Ienzo returned it hesitantly. Demyx sat at a desk besides the professor’s podium before he was asked to handle attendance, which he did, carrying around a clipboard. When he got to Ienzo, he said in a low voice, “got to say, did not picture you as the music appreciation type.”

“I’m not. Most other classes were full.”

The grin got wider. “I do _not_ want to be back where you were.”

Ienzo scribbled down his name. “Nor do you seem to be the type to be a TA.”

He shrugged. “I could use the free credits. Besides, Ariel is an  _ awesome _ teacher. Say. You busy, after this? Couple of us were going to go get lunch in town.”

An opportunity to learn more, Ienzo reminded himself, feeling his heart catch bizarrely. “I could eat.”

“Good. Now I gotta get going. See you, Zo.”

It took Ienzo a moment to realize this was a nickname, too long to form a witty retort. He’d had aliases before, of course.

He’d never had a nickname.

The warm prickling feeling in his magic increased, and for some reason, he sighed.

* * *

As class wound down, Ienzo felt himself getting anxious. Talking to Demyx was one thing, given how they'd met. But talking to others? Ienzo did not know how to socialize, what to talk about. What  _ were _ people his age into, their music and TV shows and entertainment? What did they do for fun? What if one of them figured him out? Should he simply be  _ very _ boring so he was not invited back?

Should he be himself?

(Who was that?)

"Zo! Ready?" Demyx had a messenger bag slung over one shoulder. 

"Yes."

Demyx clapped his shoulder; the touch was startling. "Awesome. Come on. We're meeting people there."

"Oh, who?" How much did he have to mentally prepare?

"My friend Lea, his roommate Roxas, this girl Yuffie, oh, and one of my roommates, Riku. Just a few of us. And maybe Riku's boyfriend and girlfriend if they're free, I have no idea." He shrugged. "Depends if I run into anyone else."

"Collecting people," Ienzo remarked.

Demyx laughed a little. "Sort of."

Ienzo tried to swallow his nerves. Demyx chatted happily as they left campus, going down some of the older and narrower cobble streets of the city. Ivy spilled over everything, the warm and soft light soothing on Ienzo's eyes after the harsh fluorescents of the lecture hall. "Are you from here?" Ienzo asked. "This city."

"Nope," Demyx said cheerfully. "I'm from Destiny Islands."

An archipelago off of the west coast. "A long way traveled for school," Ienzo said carefully.

Demyx just shrugged. 

"Demyx!" The voice was shrill. A small, dark haired woman had her hands on her hips. "I've been waiting for _ ever. _ I'm starving."

"I'm sure you didn't die," Demyx replied. "Everyone here?"

She sighed. "Nope. They wouldn't let me grab our normal table until I had more of a "party." I cannot  _ believe _ , after how much we've invested in this place." She smiled slyly. "Who's your friend?"

"Ah--right. This is Ienzo--uh--"

"Avella," he provided the fake name helpfully. "I take it you're Yuffie?"

"The one, the only." She grasped his hand and shook it roughly. "And don't you forget it."

"...For some reason I don't see that happening."

Demyx smiled. He rested his hand on the small of Ienzo's back, simply meaning to usher him forward. The touch was sudden and disconcerting. He thought of that blue pendant, beneath Demyx's shirt, probably warm with skin--

They were granted a table this time, a corner booth in this small restaurant. All the furniture was mismatching, and Ienzo could see the cook working at the grill behind the bar. "Is that the whole kitchen?" He asked.

"Yep!" Yuffie said cheerfully. "So I hope you're not in a hurry."

Ienzo sighed. He  _ was _ rather hungry. "I suppose lunch is now an afternoon, isn't it?"

She laughed. "Demyx, you didn't say he was  _ this _ cute."

Demyx flushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Aw, come on," he said instead.

"Table of losers, anyone?" The lankiest person Ienzo had ever seen added.

"Ugh, who brought in the trash?" Yuffie asked, wrinkling her nose. 

"That would be me," a blond boy said, rolling his eyes. "Demyx."

"Hey."

Four people was a lot to juggle, Ienzo realized. A waitress gave them some water. As Lea and the blond (Roxas?) regaled Demyx of some skateboarding incident, Yuffie leaned over. "You been here long?" She asked.

"To town? Is it that obvious?"

"You smell like a freshman, but you don't look like one.  _ Dope _ hair, by the way. How'd you get it to tone down that color? I tried going gray once and it was a disaster." She grinned widely.

Ienzo sighed heavily. "I'm afraid it was all a bit of a mistake," he lied smoothly. "A friend of mine was a cosmetologist and needed a guinea pig. It was supposed to be blond--or so she said." He shrugged.

"Gotta stand out, right?" Lea said. "Where are you from, and how did you con your way to us?"

Meant to be a joke, but Ienzo found himself fighting to stay composed. "Demyx collected me at the library," he said vaguely.

"He was lost," Demyx lied, equally as smoothly. 

"You can never leave well enough alone," a new voice added, and Ienzo's head snapped up. He felt the prickle of magic before he could really comprehend who he saw; a tall boy with silver hair. They held eye contact for a moment too long; Ienzo noticed Demyx's jaw clench the slightest. So he knew, too. What was going on? Had Ienzo been lured here? He realized he'd been seated in a corner. Should he excuse himself for the restroom, and leave? Or mine what he could from this exchange?

"This is Riku," Demyx said, taking a sip of water. "My roomie. Remember?"

Ienzo nodded. "Ienzo. Pleasure."

Riku dropped his things at the only available seat. "Nice to meet you." 

Ienzo probed at the boy's energy. It felt… odd. Not quite normal. That hair--he couldn't  _ not _ have magic. Equally, he felt Riku probing  _ him _ , his teal eyes cautious and calculating. Riku knew  _ something.  _

"So you're new to Twilight Town," Riku said, with a hint of skepticism. "Why here?"

Ienzo had to be careful. "I've heard good things about the marine biology program," he said. "That aside… my family thought it might be a good fit for us. The city, I mean."

"The darkness has been driving a lot of people out of their homes," Riku said. "It's… it's horrible."

"Indeed it is," Ienzo levelled. He didn't know what to read into that. "Are you from here, then?"

"He's from the islands, like me," Demyx volunteered. It was a casual enough remark, but Ienzo could grasp at the implications. They were magic users who had found one another.

"How fascinating," Ienzo remarked, consulting the menu. "I thought Destiny Islands had a rather small population."

"Oh, it does," Riku said, with an eyeroll. "Somehow we're the only two idiots who didn't know each other."

"That  _ is  _ quaint," Ienzo said. "Now. What is good here?"

He spent the rest of this lunch participating in inane conversations about nothing much. It took most of an hour for the food to arrive. Riku glanced at Ienzo now and again, curious, suspicious; the boy's magic could not penetrate him. Once the meal was over with--the check split awkwardly--they all left. 

"Hey, Zo, wanna hang?" Demyx asked. "Or do you have any more classes?"

"I've got some time," he said. He had to know more about them.

Demyx smiled. "Awesome. Our place isn't too far from here."

Ienzo followed them, letting his magic wake up. Demyx brought him to an apartment building; Ienzo immediately sensed wards. They climbed two flights of stairs before Riku unlocked the door.

It certainly seemed like an apartment two young men lived in; the furniture was haphazard at best, and while it was clean, it was cluttered, and dull. Riku shut and locked the door, whispered a spell. Then, to Demyx, "what is going  _ on. _ Is this a joke to you?"

"Hey! You told me to keep an eye out, and I did. So." He scowled.

Oh. So Demyx's friendly interest in him was a ruse; he shouldn't have been so disappointed. He braced his magic. 

"I didn't think that the person you referred to would be--" He exhaled heavily, raking a hand through his hair. 

"Care to explain?" Ienzo asked coolly.

Riku locked eyes with him. "What's your line?"

"What's yours?"

"Does it matter?" Demyx asked quickly.

"I mean, yeah, it does. If he's one of Xehanort's  _ puppets _ \--"

"I most assuredly am not," Ienzo said. "I take it you're not either."

Riku tried to frisk him again. "Who  _ are  _ you?" 

"A person of no importance." 

"Yeah, right. With the magic you're packing?"

"Guys. Guys. Let's settle down, okay?" Demyx asked. "Let's just talk."

Ienzo furrowed his brows. "Okay. Talk." He knew he had to be careful. “Were you looking for other magic users?” he asked Demyx. 

He shrugged. “Not, like, consciously. But if it happens…”

“So you’re a seeker, then.” He shook his head. 

“Not a… dark seeker,” Demyx said. “That sounds  _ way  _ too tiring. I just… I dunno. If some kid pops up, gotta keep them safe, you know?”

“Not that you need it,” Riku said. “You’re the one that saved him, aren’t you?”

Ienzo sighed. “Yes.”

Riku sat on the lumpy, ancient couch. “Guess our friend was right,” he said to Demyx.

The accused shrugged, his eyes on the ground.

“Right about what?”

“Things are changing here,” Riku said. “You can feel it. Something’s… not right. I’m not sure what you have to do with it.”

“He says he’s not with Xehanort. Shouldn’t you trust that?” Demyx asked.

“People lie,” Riku said simply. 

“I’m not  _ lying _ ,” Ienzo spat, feeling his anxiety spike. He had to remind himself he was the strongest of all of them; not that he particularly  _ wanted _ to fight. “For all I know, maybe  _ you _ are.”

Demyx rubbed the bridge of his nose. 

“Then prove it,” Riku said. “Why shouldn’t I report you right now?”

“Because--” How to prove his innocence without revealing his real identity? He took a breath. “Reporting me will just make the situation go from bad to worse.”

“Why?”

“Lives could be on the line.” He stuck his chin out defiantly. “I’m with the resistance. Report me and part of the network collapses.” Not technically a lie. “I suspect you are as well.”

“...We’re independent,” Riku said instead. “We’re not  _ with _ anyone. But…” Cautious now. “The resistance is still around?”

Had he just made an even bigger mistake? “...Yes.”

“Thought all those guys were gone,” Demyx said. 

“Most of us are in hiding in some form or another.” 

“Huh,” Riku said softly. “Who would’ve thought.”

“Fighting Xehanort might be futile… but if we don’t, we’re complicit,” Ienzo said. 

“He’s collecting them,” Demyx said. “When he can find them. Bloodlines. Made easier by the government rounding us up.”

“Like cattle,” Riku added. “Easier for the Heartless to breed if nobody can kill them.”

“But Twilight Town’s been neutral,” Ienzo said. “They wouldn’t just hand over--”

“A few people in exchange for stopping the darkness causing complete collapse of everything? Dunno.” Riku shrugged. “But right now here is the safest place to be. After the islands…” A sigh.

“I’d heard. I’m truly sorry. I… know how it feels.”

Demyx worried at the pendant. “I try not to think about it too much. All you can do, you know?” He cleared his throat.

“This… resistance,” Riku began cautiously. “Could you get me in touch?”

Ienzo kept his expression blank. “I could.”

“I know you don’t trust me. Why would you? I wouldn’t trust me either.” He held out his hand. “But I won’t sell you out if you don’t sell me out.”

Ienzo took it. Riku was telling what he believed to be the truth. “Alright. Deal.”

Ienzo left soon after; Even was bugging him incessantly.  _ Your class ended three hours ago, why aren’t you home? _ Ienzo scowled. Demyx followed him out. “Hey… Zo,” he began.

“Yes?” he asked neutrally. 

Demyx rubbed his arm. “I didn’t… look, I didn’t invite you along so Riku could interrogate you. Honestly. I wanted…” He trailed off. “I do want to get to know you. Really.”

_ Why _ ? Ienzo nearly asked. He thought briefly of how it had felt when Demyx touched the small of his back. 

He blushed. “Why don’t we… get together, sometime? As--as friends,” he backpedaled quickly. “Real friends, not…”

Ienzo smiled tiredly. This day had sapped his energy. “I might enjoy that--if you don’t get killed by more Heartless, that is.”

Demyx laughed a little. “So… I’ll call you sometime?”

“Sure.” There it was again, that warmth.

“And Ienzo?”

“Yes?”

“Get home safe, okay?”


	5. Pairbonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo investigates Demyx further, and comes to a shocking revelation.

Ienzo told Aeleus everything.

The man seemed more tired than usual. He’d been gone for the past two days on some resistance mission neither Even nor Ienzo really knew anything about. He’d slept soundlessly, almost breathlessly, on the couch for two hours before Ienzo tried to feed him and convince him to sleep in his proper bed. But when Aeleus asked how he was… the words had spilled out of him almost against his will.

“There are more people like me here, Aeleus,” he finished. “That much is certain.”

Aeleus ate steadily. Ienzo had made pho; he’d forgotten how much he missed cooking with an actual full kitchen. “Of course there are,” he said. “Not everyone goes underground in our sense. Some merely prefer to hide.”

“In some ways I feel so… naive,” he admitted slowly. “I wish you would tell me  _ some _ things so I don’t feel so ignorant.”

Aeleus smiled and squeezed Ienzo’s hand. “If I could, I would,” he said. “Even  _ I _ am only allowed to know pieces, parts.” He set aside his empty bowl. “Though I am curious. I had thought all the seeker lines… were eradicated.”

“But why, if they’re functionally harmless? He has no magic.”

Aeleus rubbed at his eyes. “Their abilities are purely passive… and somewhat latent. It’s thought seekers would do anything to trigger their own abilities, even if they do not consciously realize it. But once they wake… they are a force to be reckoned with. Their individualism was what made them dangerous.”

Ienzo exhaled. Was  _ that _ why Demyx was so drawn to him? Because on some level he thought Ienzo’s power would awaken his own?

“...Moreover… and Even would say this is all silly mythology.”

“If Even says it’s silly, then I want to know it all the more.”

“Seekers pairbond. It’s thought they spend their days looking for their soulmate… and if they find them, they know. Ironically… despite the individualism, they are nearly dependent on those they bond with."

Ienzo smiled a little. “That  _ is _ very mythic.”

“I admit I’m rather jealous of you. I’d like to meet one.”

“Well, if I can be subtle about it, I’ll ask him.”

“He might not know much about his own culture.” 

“...Soulmates.” Ienzo shook his head. “As if anyone has time for  _ love _ right now.”

* * *

Still, why was it Ienzo agreed to see him again? 

Thanks to the psychology professor, Eraqus, he was able to test out of many gen-ed courses. But this left Ienzo with a dilemma--namely, that he had no idea what to actually major in. It seemed like a superficial problem to have, on top of all this. 

“ _ Precisely _ why I wanted you to actually take those classes,” Even told him, with a scowl. “To get to know your cohort, your community--because that influences it too.”

Ienzo pursed his lips. “Why bother, when we might have to run again at any moment? You should have at the very least given me the choice, Even.”

His disposition did not improve. “You know little of the actual world. Gods forbid I try to actually let you learn.”

“Learn what? On paper, I already know all of the content. And you don’t  _ want _ me to truly get close to anyone--else you would actually let me socialize, instead of calling me until I return home.”

His head snapped up from his computer. “How dare I worry for you, you mean? If there are Heartless and seekers and goodness knows what else--”

“Even. I can take care of myself. You have to let me make my own decisions. Otherwise, what type of ruler would I ever hope to be?” A bit of an underhanded move, but true regardless.

Even turned pink, and his scowl deepened. He knew Ienzo had cornered him. “Very  _ well _ . Now leave me be. I have to finish this report.”

Ienzo put on a jacket and left the house. He told Demyx he’d meet him at the streetcar station nearest the beach. He thought about what Aeleus told him, about soulmates. He thought of the warmth, the prickling he’d felt with his own magic whenever they were together. Was it possible that--?

Perhaps it was simply a silly schoolboy crush, and given that he’d never much had one on anyone else, this was just how his magic reacted normally. Surely he couldn’t simply  _ ask _ Demyx what he’d felt, could he?

Something to ponder. Aeleus  _ had  _ said it was myth. Ienzo reminded himself to try and study more magic history. It had been some time, and he was rusty. 

The streetcar was relatively empty for this time of day, so his trip was smooth and easy. Ienzo liked public transit, its cleanliness, its efficiency. If only all of life could be organized so neatly. He watched the band of sea grow closer and closer until finally the conductor urged him to get off at the terminus.

The memories of the sea were louder now, harder to fight-- _ Braig, where is _____? _

_ I dunno, I just turned around for five seconds, couldn’t have gone far-- _

_ The feeling of water rushing into his lungs, sand as the riptide tossed him back and forth like a ragdoll-- _ then a memory he was almost certain he hadn’t recalled in some time, of another child in the water, a  _ child with blonde hair and shiny scales guiding him towards the surface-- _

“Hey, Zo! You made it!”

Ienzo gasped a little. He had to have corroborated that memory. It was impossible that happened--Braig had to have been the one who saved him from drowning, or Aeleus, not some kind of--creature that looked just like the man in front of him-- “Hi, Demyx.”

He cocked his head. “You okay?” 

“Yes… I… fine. Shall we?”

“Uh. Sure.”

They walked along the boardwalk, the old, sand-weathered boards creaking under their feet. Various food vendors, gift shops, and game booths dotted the surface, leading to a set of stairs down to the beach itself. “You ever been?” Demyx asked. “It’s too cold to swim, but still pretty to look at.”

Ienzo breathed that sea-tinted air, the echoes of the memory making both him and his magic feel… so very strange. Was he being put in a thrall? But this felt like none of the thralls Even and Merlin had trained him on. It did not feel like conscious magic. “Sure. Let’s go.”

They took off their shoes when they got to the water. The sand, in this twilight, was pleasantly warm. A few people milled about; the brave were swimming, some wading, others flying kites or playing with dogs or simply watching the water. They walked closely enough that every few drifts of tide, Ienzo could just barely feel the cool water on his toes. He felt… relaxed, he realized, even in the presence of this essential stranger. 

“Does this remind you of your home?” Ienzo asked him. Demyx’s expression was dreamy, his eyes trained on the ocean outside.

“It… does. Whenever I really feel homesick… I come down here. It’s a little too cold for surfing now, but even just the sound of the waves… or the birds…” He sighed. “I was supposed to go back for a visit. Before it… fell.”

“I truly am sorry.”

He smiled sadly. “It’s not your fault.”

Ienzo wondered if it actually was; if he hadn’t been running, if he’d done something or  _ fought _ , would Destiny Islands be whole? 

Demyx took a breath. “I wanted to… talk to you about something,” he said. “And I know it’s going to sound totally insane--”

Ienzo’s heart beat harder. 

“But I can’t stop thinking about it, and I wonder if it’s actually true--”

He felt almost like he couldn’t breathe, the world getting dizzy, his magic practically screaming at him to  _ open his eyes and see what was right in front of him-- _

“Hey… you okay?”

Ienzo’s knees gave out, and everything went dark.

* * *

“...zo? Hey.”

He blinked. He was lying on the soft sand of the beach, and the right leg of his pants was awkwardly wet. “What happened?”

“You fainted. Here.” He was handed a bottle of water. 

Ienzo sat up slowly. His right eye didn’t hurt, but it did feel warm, almost like it was glowing. He opened the lukewarm water and drank it. 

“Sorry about your pants. I wasn’t able to fully catch you.”

“...They’ll dry.” He looked back towards the boardwalk--there were no people near them. They were almost completely alone in this strange little cove. “A… friend of mine told me a little about seekers.”

A flush brightened Demyx’s face. “What did they say?”

“He said… that you subconsciously seek out your soulmate, and when you find them, you know.” Demyx’s face was still doubled in his vision. “Is that true? Is that what you're  _ actually _ seeking, not magic users to protect?"

A substantial pause. All Ienzo heard for a long moment was the waves. Then, finally, “yeah. It’s true.”

Ienzo sat up a little more. “When we…” He swallowed, and forced himself to lock eyes with him. “When we met. I felt something in my magic. I didn’t know  _ what _ it was, but I wonder--”

“If we--” Demyx cut himself off. His eyes were watering. 

“That wasn’t the first time we met, was it?”

“No.”

Ienzo’s heart was beating so hard. “When I was… little. My family and I took a trip to your islands. My caretaker… lost track of me, and I nearly drowned. I was saved by… something. It was you, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.” The tears ran over.

“You’re not human.”

“Not completely. But neither are you.”

Ienzo shook his head slowly. “Not completely.”

Demyx took both of his hands. “I’d forgotten it… all the way up until… you saved me from that Heartless, and then I didn’t believe it was  _ you _ until…”

The pull was growing stronger. “Then what are you?” Ienzo asked.

“I guess you would call it… a siren? I guess?” He bit his lip nervously. “But we… I don’t remember how, I really don’t, but I  _ lost  _ the ability to change form… and one day I just washed up on the beach. I forgot who I was for  _ years _ .” He took out the pendant. “And since then…”

“You’ve been looking for your history and your family.”

“And you.”

Ienzo’s breath caught.

“I know we’re… we’re basically strangers, but… I know we’re…” He swiped at his eyes. “Right? You felt it too.”

Slowly… in a state of disbelief… Ienzo nodded. The prickling feeling inside of his magic only intensified. Demyx took one hand and touched his cheek. Ienzo gasped despite himself. He’d never had these feelings… maybe there was a  _ reason _ \--

Demyx had said he was a  _ siren. _ Maybe this was all some kind of enchanting magic he’d never experienced--

But his own energy was telling him this was all truth.

Demyx leaned in a little. How had Ienzo not noticed how he smelled before? Like ginger, and salt, and something else he had no name for. “I…” Ienzo was breathing shakily. He should’ve been embarrassed, falling apart like this. “I’ve never--”

“Would you want to?” Demyx asked gently.

“Yes.” He closed the space between them, and Demyx’s lips on his shouldn’t have felt so  _ right _ . It took him a moment to learn how to do it. Those callused hands tangled in his hair, pulling him a little closer--

Another stronger, warmer wave broke over him, making the fine hairs on his arms stand up straight--

Demyx broke away first, pressing his forehead against Ienzo’s. “Your hair’s glowing again,” he said softly, pressing a kiss against Ienzo’s cheek.

The pleasure he’d found quickly shattered. “No,” he said, snapping his head around to see if there were any witnesses. “Oh--”

“No one can see us,” Demyx said. “I’m blocking you from view.”

“I just--I don’t know how much magic was released by--” He licked his lips. He could still  _ taste _ him, for gods’ sake, a weirdly sweet flavor. 

“I’m blocking you,” Demyx repeated.

He got it. “You can… you can do that?”

“More like…” He brushed his fingers across Ienzo’s cheek. “Distracting whoever would listen. Making them think about their dinner, or…”

“Passive,” Ienzo repeated. “What do we… what now?”

“I didn’t… I didn’t think I’d get this far.” Demyx blinked the tears out of his eyes. “I mean… I guess…” 

“Get to know each other?”

He laughed a little, and Ienzo did too. 

“I don’t know how I’m going to explain this,” he told Demyx. “My father… I’m not sure  _ I  _ fully understand what’s going on--”

“Me either.”

“I was told…” He could barely breathe. “I was told… when I didn’t understand the situation… to research. To gather data.” Demyx’s hand, against the small of his back, was so warm. His whole body felt suddenly so much more alive.

“I think I understand,” Demyx said, and kissed him again.

* * *

“Where have you  _ been _ ?” Even’s voice was shrill, and Ienzo noted, not without worry. He  _ was _ late, he knew; the sun had been down for hours. “And why are you--covered in  _ sand _ ?”

Ienzo winced a little. He had a choice to make here--to lie, or tell the truth. But something this big… he had to be sure. And Even did have a nigh-bottomless knowledge of the monarchy, and Ienzo’s own magic. “I’ll… explain everything, I promise, but know I am  _ fine _ . Let me clean up, and then we can…” 

Even touched his shoulder. He lifted a strand of Ienzo’s hair, the tips of which were still luminous. “Oh,” he said softly. He seemed frozen; Ienzo was able to pull away with ease. Even remained there, his one hand still raised, muttering to himself.

Ienzo took a shower. His skin seemed more sensitive than before; in fact, all of his senses seemed as though a film had been peeled away. He combed his hair and looked at himself in the mirror. He took a deep breath. He put on some pajamas and rejoined Even in the parlor.

The heavy mahogany desk had been cleared off. “Up you get. Up,” Even said, steering him over. Wordlessly, Ienzo listened; the wood was cold and hard after the sand. Even forced him to lay down. 

“Are you going to tell me  _ why _ I was never informed about all this pairbonding nonsense?”

“Shut  _ up _ ,” Even hissed. “Be still.”

Ienzo felt coldness leaching into his body, making him shudder. Even’s magic was always sharp and angular as it probed his. Finally, after what felt like a long time… the coldness dissipated. Ienzo shivered. He sat up slowly. Even was breathing hard, with an odd look on his face, as though someone had struck him. “At first I wondered… if he had placed some advanced enchantment on me,” Ienzo said. “But judging by your expression… that is not the case.”

Even seemed to be struggling. “I’d thought…” He began softly.

“You knew this was a possibility,” Ienzo said. “You  _ knew _ , and you never said--” A sort of rage blotted out the coldness. “Why didn’t you--”

“It’s old magic, Ienzo,” Even said, spreading his arms. “Ancient, even.” He pressed a hand to his forehead. “It’s that boy, isn’t it? The one Aeleus mentioned… the seeker?”

“So is he my mate, or isn’t he?”

“That’s for you to determine,” he said. “You needn’t… accept this bond, Ienzo.”

Ienzo thought of that kiss, and the many that had followed, the way it all made him  _ feel _ . 

“In fact, if you do… you might as well send up a flare saying “here I am!””

“He blocked me.”

Even’s head snapped up.

“When we were figuring this out. His magic eclipsed mine.” He knotted his hands together. “Why did you not tell me this was a possibility?”

“Because almost all seekers are dead!” Even all but yelled. “How was I to know you’d come in contact with one, much less we’d run into him  _ here _ of all places? Child, did you even  _ know _ which gender you favored?”

Ienzo shook his head wearily. He was tired now. “You remember that diplomatic trip we took to Destiny Islands? When I… nearly drowned?” 

Even softened. “Do I remember. It’s one of the many reasons I’m going prematurely gray. It’s due to Braig’s carelessness that you almost lost your life.”

“He wasn’t the one who saved me. Demyx was.”

“Oh…” He turned pale. “And the magic released as you struggled for your life… must’ve forged that bond.” He thought a moment, then dashed over to one of the books on a bookshelf. “No matter. I’m certain there’s a spell somewhere that could break it, and you can simply--”

“Break it?” Ienzo repeated. 

“Don’t tell me you  _ want _ this, Ienzo?”

Ienzo’s hand fluttered to his lip without meaning to. “Would it be so terrible?” he mumbled. “Especially… if he  _ does _ have a shielding property.”

Even groaned. “Child, I know you are flush with hormones, and this magic is hard to resist, but  _ think _ a moment.”

The embarrassment burned his cheeks. 

“How do we know he isn’t allied with Xehanort?”

“If he spent  _ years _ looking for me, do you really think he’d hurt me?”

“Does he know who you truly are?”

Ienzo said nothing. 

“Exactly, Ienzo.  _ Exactly _ .”

He stood. “I’m going to bed,” he said.

Even followed him. “Tell me you’re not thinking about it.”

How could he not? “I  _ think _ you should allow me to make my own decisions, Even.”

“Ienzo--”

“I am very tired. Good  _ night. _ ”

He tramped up the stairs, reeling. So this was… true, then. He and Demyx were… A flush came over him. Even was partially correct; ever since they’d kissed on the beach,  _ some _ thing had woken up in him, something hot and wanting, something that had previously been much quieter. 

Ienzo drew the blinds and lay in bed. He looked at his cell phone--messages from Demyx--

_ I hope you got home safe. Everything feels so much louder now… I feel so awake… _

Ienzo took a quick breath.  _ I do too. _

_ What do you want to do? _

He knew what he  _ wanted. _ What he said instead was,  _ I need to know more about you. And you need to know more about me. _

_ Just give me a time and place. _

_ Some place private… away from those that may listen. _

_ Leave it to me.  _

Ienzo set the phone aside. He started up at the moonlight playing on the ceiling.  _ Mate _ , he thought.  _ I have a mate. _ Someone who knew neither of his gender nor of his heritage. Someone who might try to get away from him if he found this out.

Ienzo could tell him, gauge his reactions, and wipe his memory if need be…

He wanted to trust Demyx. If his magic could protect Ienzo… could that possibly be a way for him to finally  _ do _ something about Xehanort’s forces? For him to find out more information to pass on to the resistance?

He said he’d tell Riku about the resistance… but he needed to know more about him, too. Demyx was probably a good way to find out more about all this…

That kiss…

He’d known, in an aqueous sort of way, he’d likely have to have an heir at some point, and even for him children didn’t spontaneously come out of thin air. But he’d never thought of  _ how _ he’d get one, nor imagined marriage, nor even… allowed himself the possibility of fantasy, of being loved. His life was too split, always on the run. How could he settle down? He’d barely had friends, much less a boyfriend or girlfriend, much less a  _ lover-- _ he had not, prior to those hours on the beach, even  _ kissed _ \--

Kissed, and kissed, and kissed…

He traced the material of his waistband absently. Perhaps Even was right, he had to ignore this impulse. 

He felt awake, and a little less alone. Perhaps it was for this reason, but he let his hand slip below the waistband, to feel at skin he normally avoided, to stroke it gently and imagine he was not the one touching it--

He gasped, feeling it break over him, and instead of feeling shame as usual, he instead felt release, felt… hope.


	6. Magic and Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo remembers his last night at home. He and Demyx discuss their pasts, and what their relationship might mean.

Ienzo dreamt again about that night.

It had once been vague in his memory, cauterized, but as he grew older, the magic revealed it to him, bit by bit.

The beautiful castle in Radiant Garden, Father. He’d just barely fallen asleep on a night like this one, one full of moonlight, to Father’s soothing voice reading stories. He woke suddenly to a tang of magic aching within his own, and a different stink, a stink of smoke--

“Ienzo! Ienzo!” Even grasping at him, hauling up, but he was eight now, just a little bit too big to be easily carried--Even managed it anyway, stumbling.

“What happened?” he asked, gazed. “It smells like--”

A deafening bang. “There they go! It’s him! He’s got the girl!”

Even ran harder, sending out as harsh a wave of magic as he dared, but it weakened him--Ienzo reached out to lend him his energy, his strength. “Thank you, child,” he muttered. “It’s not much farther--” He squeezed Ienzo so hard it was difficult to breathe.

Aeleus’s voice. “Even?”

“We have to go now, Aeleus, that fool is here and she has  _ reinforcements. _ ”

“I know. The whole west wing is up in flame. Broke through our wards--there must’ve been a rat.”

“The west--but Ansem--did he--”

“It doesn’t matter. You and Ienzo have to  _ go _ .”

“What about you?”

“It is my  _ duty _ to get you out safe--nothing more.”

“What of Dilan? Where’s he?”

“Enough questions-- _ go _ .” Aeleus pressed a rough kiss to Ienzo’s head. “Get him out safe--that’s what matters.”

Even ran, and ran, through basement pathways--eventually he set Ienzo down, and they ran together, breathless, clutching stitches, the smell of smoke getting worse and worse--

A smooth, gravelly, deep voice. “There you are.”

Even threw an arm in front of him. “Xemnas? We have to get out of here, that  _ fool _ Maleficent is--” Then, “the… wards. You--why?”

“Even, you know as well as I do that this system isn’t working. This… oligarchy. People are dying, starving in the streets--you’ve no idea the hell Ansem has wrought over this land.”

“You swore an oath.” He scooped Ienzo up again. “Now let me through.” 

“Else?” The smell of smoke grew thicker, then Ienzo realized… it wasn’t just smoke. Thick, dark creatures emerged from the shadows. “Give me the princess, Even. I promise no harm will come to her.”

“Why should I believe another word coming from your filthy mouth? Ansem… he  _ loved _ you, Xemnas, and you-- betrayed us. Why?”

“Give me the princess.”

Ienzo saw the creatures, their hungry gold eyes, their long sharp claws… he started to pull at his magic, remembering what Merlin had taught him.

“My father has big plans for her.”

“I will kill her myself before I allow him to lay one finger on her. That fool. You were supposed to be different. You  _ said _ you were, and Ansem believed you--"

Ienzo felt the coldness of a shard of ice against his throat.

“You’re bluffing.”

Even pressed the blade against him a little harder.

The man tapped his long fingers together. 

“Better she die quickly than live a life suffering in the darkness.” Even leaned in. “Now, child,” he hissed.

Ienzo screamed and threw the magic with all his might, pulling from places deep within himself he’d always been encouraged to keep hidden, to keep under control. The magic exploded from him, piercing all of the Heartless, striking Xemnas in the chest--

Pain budded in his eyes, growing stronger and stronger as he cut through more Heartless.

“Enough, child, that’s enough--”

The pain peaked.

“You have to  _ stop _ .”

Everything was going dark, agony exploding from his right eye. “I can’t.”

“You can. You can. Listen to me. Child. Breathe, rein it in. We’ve got him. We’ve--” A strangled noise, and Even disappeared from view, and Xemnas’s hands were wrapped around his throat--

Ienzo screamed and released more magic, and everything abruptly went dark.

* * *

He always hated that dream. His eyes were damp as he woke, slowly treading consciousness. He sat up and touched his right eye.

Xemnas had betrayed them at his father Xehanort's request, revealing all their weaknesses to the sorceress Maleficent, spilled darkness like ink all over Radiant Garden. They'd been running ever since. All the easier for Xehanort to slip in, to instill control… and Ansem's grip on the rest of the city-states collapsed completely. How on earth was a  _ resistance _ going to be able to counter that? Then Maleficent ended up “mysteriously” dead, and Ienzo… was half blind. It remained a permanent warning of what would happen to him if he used too much magic.  _ The energy alone will shred you, _ Even had told him.  _ Literally. _

It was ludicrously early, but he got up anyway, dressing slowly, his skin still so sensitive, achy, almost.

_ Zo! Good morning! Busy later? _

Demyx.

Ienzo never thought he'd have come out of this with a… what, exactly? Boyfriend? Mate? Partner?

Even said there were ways to break this bond. But why should he? He'd never had anything to himself before, and besides, if Demyx  _ could _ jam him, all the safer. But true… they may have made out for hours yesterday, but they barely knew each other.

He could fix that. Reveal his… truths.

Ienzo exhaled. One thing at a time.

* * *

He went to class. Eraqus's junior-level industrial/organizational psychology class  _ was  _ interesting, and then there was the class Demyx TA'ed. He hadn't been able to test out of art credits, and found himself glad. He wondered… this was all magic. He hadn't consciously  _ chosen  _ Demyx. Would he have, if he could? He'd never been allowed choices. Was it the magic suddenly finding attractiveness in those features, or his own budding sexuality? Did he have free will at all? 

(Thinking of the electricity of that kiss, did it matter? Clearly his magic and body both thought they were things worth seeking.)

Ienzo suddenly wished dearly he had a friend to talk to about all this. All he had were Aeleus and Even; the former had been pulled away by his work, and the latter had been too enraged to speak to him this morning.

Ienzo wished for his father, thought of another sort of coming out--he'd only been seven or so, but knew it was truth down into the core of his being. Going to Ansem in his study. Asking him why he was a girl, receiving a lecture about biology, then stating point blank--"what if I were a boy?" Ansem had been confused, but then, "do you think you are?" And when he said yes, all Ansem did was smooth the dress Even had stuffed him in and say, "then we'd best get you more suitable clothing." It took more time for everyone to get used to calling him the proper pronouns, and even then, they kept the truth of his gender within the inner circle, to wait until he was older. Hence… Xehanort never knowing.

He thought of this as Demyx rounded him up after class, his expression so  _ soft _ as he looked at Ienzo. "You ready?"

"Quite."

They made their way towards town. "Can I… hold your hand?" Demyx asked. "Or…"

"Perhaps… not just yet."

"Okay," he said, clearly disappointed. "So… Riku's got class then work until like 8, is my place okay? It's still warded and stuff."

Did Demyx think there would be more kissing? (Ienzo cursed the fact that the idea excited him.) "...Alright."

He smiled. "Great."

The inside of the small apartment smelled like garlic. “Ah--sorry,” Demyx said quickly. “I was cooking yesterday and I completely forgot--”

“You like to cook?”

“Yeah, I’m told I’m not half bad at it,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s nice to--be good at something objective. Which music so totally isn’t. I’d offer you some of what I made, but… Riku demolished it all after he went to the gym.” A shrug.

“Are you two actually friends, or is it merely an arrangement that works?”

Demyx snorted. He pulled a bottle of juice out of the fridge. “Well--yes, and yes. Want some? I made it myself.”

“...Sure.” He was given a glass of something pinkish and cloudy. They sat on that same horrible couch. “I need to… know more about you. All of this is making me wonder--”

“If we even have free will?” Demyx winced. “Yeah. It’s, uh, a conundrum.”

“You’ve known about this bond longer than I--is it… genuine? That is to say--” He had no idea how to put any of this. 

“I’ve tried dating,” Demyx said. “Like, not to be a slut or anything, but I’ve dated a bunch of people, of all different genders. And it was fun, and nice, and sometimes I even liked them a whole lot, maybe loved them a little. All I know… this feels a lot… more intense than that.” He bit his lip. 

“But this bond. Is it… merely lust and infatuation, and that encourages more stable bonding? Or--”

Demyx let out a long breath. “My parents had this kind of relationship. But the long and short of it is… yeah. If we really… go through with it… if we…  _ choose _ it, then… it’s kind of a forever thing.”

“What do you want?” Ienzo asked.

“I want… I want to be happy. And I think… this could help.” He swallowed. 

Ienzo squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “There are a few things you have to know about me, then,” he said quietly.

“Like what?”

“Firstly… I’m transgender.” The word felt odd in his mouth.

Demyx shrugged. “Okay. No big deal. I’ve been with--” Ienzo heard him catch himself. “It doesn’t bother me, or anything. Why would it?”

His flushed worsened, and so did his anxiety. “So… I was once a girl. And my name… it was--”

Demyx raised a hand. “I don’t need to know your deadname.”

He felt his eyes watering. “In this case it is important.” He tried to slow his breaths. “It was _____.”

Demyx blinked. Then he looked at Ienzo,  _ really _ looked at him. “As in…” He sputtered. “ _ Princess _ _____? You’re--”

“The prince. Yes.”

There was just a moment of shocked silence. “Holy  _ shit _ ,” he said. “I mean--I’m sorry--ah--your highness--”

Ienzo scowled. “No. None of that bullshit.” He exhaled. “I came here to try and have a normal life… while the resistance… tries to rally itself against Xehanort. To stay  _ alive. _ ”

Demyx went pale. “I kissed a prince. God, that is probably so--”

Ienzo exhaled. “For the record… I did like it. But-- you won’t--”

“Tell anyone? I’m not a fucking narc. I just can’t believe--everyone thought that the… sorry, princess, is dead and shit.”

“...Precisely. My transition is part of why I’m still alive.”

Demyx tried to gather himself. “Ienzo. Listen, my… people, or whatever, have been hunted for fucking ever. I’m not going to turn you over--to anyone.”

He believed it. “That is… a comfort.”

Demyx touched his cheek. “Is that why I’m so drawn to you? Because you’re uber powerful?”

“Quite possibly,” Ienzo said. “Though… I feel it, too. For you to be able to block me… your power isn’t insignificant.”

“So what do we do?”

“I need to know more about seekers. ...And Riku. Whatever you know about your people. We can… see how this might be of use, to the resistance, or ourselves.”

“Otherwise?”

“Otherwise…” Ienzo trailed off. “I want to… explore this further.”

“Right,” Demyx said softly. He leaned in and kissed him, and like the kisses before it seemed to wake up Ienzo’s whole being. He couldn’t help but respond, already feeling a gathering warmth in his belly. He felt Demyx’s tongue against his lips and let it in, for a moment fascinated by the strange texture of it before Demyx was making him feel things he didn’t think it was possible to feel, making him feel so utterly… turned on, aware suddenly he was sweating. All of him screamed  _ I want. _ Demyx’s hands wandered over him, exploring slowly, as if to savor it, and he was eased back onto the couch. Feeling their bodies pressed together--Demyx’s hand slid down between his legs--

“No,” he said softly. “No. Not yet.”

Demyx pulled away. “I’m sorry, I… it just kind of happened--I should've asked--”

“It’s okay.” He sat up and neatened himself. His body screamed at him for refusing the touch. “I don’t think I’m ready.”

“You’ve never… done anything?”

“No. When would I have?”

Demyx shrugged. “We should probably try to… wait,” he said. “On anything, anything.”

“Until we know each other better? That’s a good point.”

“Because…” He whistled a little. “I mean. Sex kind of seals the deal. You know?”

“Consummation?”

“When you put it like that.” He wrinkled his nose. “Once you… start having actual  _ feelings _ , and then act on them, it--gets messy.”

“...This is more complicated than I thought.”

“Tell me about it.” He drummed his fingers on his knees. “Tell me about you,” he said. “Tell me everything.”

Ienzo hesitated. He wanted to trust Demyx so badly. But yet… “What is there to tell,” he murmured. He sighed.

“Not the… royal stuff.  _ You _ . What you like to do.”

Ienzo blinked. “We kind of touched upon this before. But I… like to read. I like to learn. I used to… write, once upon a time, very bad poetry. Growing up like me often made me… quite angsty.” He wrinkled his nose. “I wrote about it--thankfully it’s all long gone. But I don’t  _ need _ to write, the way I assume you need to create. If I read or learned, I could pretend… my isolation was voluntary.” He flushed. “And this all sounds rather pathetic.”

“Not  _ pathetic _ , but it does suck.” His eyes were so pitying. “You never… had any friends, or anything?”

“None that lasted--aside from my guardians. Though it seems you are something of a social butterfly.”

Demyx shrugged. “Kinda comes with the territory,” he muttered. “I don’t, like, try to charm people. Or enchant them, or whatever. But like fucking  _ everything _ I do, it’s not conscious. It just makes me wonder--” He scoffed. “How many of my friends  _ really _ like me, or are drawn to me because of what I am?”

“I have the opposite problem,” Ienzo said, with a smile. “People  _ hate _ me because of what I am.”

Demyx smiled too. “It… doesn’t exactly do wonders for my self-esteem. I wish I could turn it off. Part of me… almost has this fundamental fear that I’m unlovable, and the magic just convinces people otherwise.”

Ienzo blinked. “Surprising, then, that you’d consider a pairbond.”

He fiddled with the pendant. “I… know,” he said. “It makes no sense. It’s part of me. Part of my kind. That’s even harder to resist. So I just tell myself it’s a choice. And it is.”

There was a moment where Ienzo was unsure of what to say. “So what  _ is _ your kind?”

Demyx held the pendant up to the light. “Seeker is kind of a… misnomer, I guess you could say? The language is actually so fucking old. When we were first were  _ created _ , or whatever, we were apparently put here to… protect.”

Ienzo had a feeling he already knew. “Protect what?”

“Whatever we consider to be important, I guess,” Demyx murmured. “That where everything gets weird. In the myths… nobody  _ told _ us what our purpose was. So we just draw in everything until we… find that something.” He exhaled. “I wish I were just human. I really do.”

“You and me both.  _ My _ kind apparently served as a liaison between the gods and man, hence my magic. But I can’t  _ hear _ them the way I can hear the earth. Who knows if this is all just stories?” He shook his head. “What if it’s all something we made up to give ourselves clarity? And people are dying for such  _ stories _ ?”

“Who knows,” Demyx said softly. 

“So your parents were also seekers. And you haven’t heard from them since the islands fell?”

“Since I washed up on the beach,” he said casually. “But that was before that. I was hoping to find them. Considering what I am… actually  _ finding _ people isn’t that easy. Maybe they’re dead. I don’t know. Almost makes me glad my memories are like swiss cheese. This stupid necklace is all I have from my past.”

“They… are? Your memories?”

He blinked. “Yeah.”

Ienzo put a hand under his chin. “Do you think perhaps someone… or something… deliberately cut off access to your other form, and manipulated where you ended up?”

He blew a raspberry. “I mean I guess.”

“Can I see it?” Ienzo asked. “The pendant?”

“Uh… sure.” Demyx leaned forward so Ienzo could touch it. It felt like glass, smooth and warm. Again, that rune. Ienzo was suddenly sure he’d seen it before… but  _ where _ ? 

“Could I… study it?” he asked.

Demyx furrowed his eyebrows. “I’ve never taken it off.”

“Nothing ill will come of you if you do, right?”

“I don’t think so, but--”

“Maybe I can help you find your memory. My guardian… knows a lot about such magic. Is that something you would want?”

Demyx held it in his palm. “You think this thing could be holding the memory back? Or--”

“I don’t know.” 

After a long moment, Demyx reached up and pulled the necklace over his head. He still hesitated before he handed it to Ienzo. “Don’t lose it,” he said, almost desperately.

“I promise I won’t.” He considered it. The necklace was still glowing, though a bit less so than before. “Do you feel any different?”

Demyx shook his head. 

“Let me know if you do at once.” He slipped it into his pocket; it still remained warm. “I’ll look into this right away.”

“Do you think it’ll help?”

“I hope it will.”


	7. Defender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo learns there's something much deeper than his bond with Demyx than originally thought. Dilan has a proposition.

The whole streetcar ride home, Ienzo thought about the pendant. Even in his pants pocket, it kept that body heat. He wondered if he’d made some kind of mistake--if taking it were going to hurt Demyx. But Demyx would tell him, right, if he started feeling ill, or faint?

At least if he had the pendant to focus on, he didn’t have to think about the way it had felt when Demyx touched him. 

Demyx had a point. How to tell if any of this was genuine? And did it matter? It  _ felt _ so--

“Gracing us with your presence at last?” Even asked, with a sneer. “You were with the  _ boy _ , weren’t you?”

“I don’t care for your tone, Even,” Ienzo retorted equally. 

“But you  _ were _ there?”

Ienzo took off his jacket and turned. “Yes. What of it?” He gathered himself and locked eyes. “Actually… I was wondering if you might help me.”

“ _ Help _ you? Do I even want to know--”

Ienzo pulled the pendant out of his pocket and held it up. Even squinted, then took it into his palm. 

“This is his?” he asked softly.

“I told him I wanted to study it. He’s lost memories, Even, and the ability to change form--he's a siren. I wonder… if this has something to do with it.”

Even put on his reading glasses. “Oh,” he said softly.

“What?”

He'd gone very pale. “Come with me, child.”

It was the change of tone that startled him. Ienzo followed him into the study. Even turned on a few of the lamps, set the pendant down, and began riffling through some of the old tomes he always carried with them. “Do you know what this is?” Ienzo asked.

Even held open one of the books. “I’m surprised you don’t.”

Ienzo took it into his hands. He saw the rune that had been etched onto Demyx’s stone. “I’m afraid I… Even, I don’t…” A headache budded behind his right eye. 

Even exhaled heavily. He went over to the mahogany desk, and took out an old tarnished silver box. Ienzo felt something in him surge. Before Even opened it, he already knew what it would contain. “I should’ve--put it together mentally, but I was--reeling. Forgive me, Ienzo.”

With shaking hands, Ienzo took it from him. The silver, too, was warm. The blood rushed to his face. He stared down onto the white velvet to see the other half of Demyx’s pendant. He mouthed words soundlessly. “What--so--” He couldn’t even think of the question.

“It’s yours,” Even said. “A long, long time ago… it was gifted to Ansem by a seeker. A gift of… protection. I did not originally think--that there was a  _ body _ behind said protection. An old form of magic.”

“Pairbonding?”

He shook his head. Ienzo didn’t know what to read into his expression. It was wistful, almost sad. “Soulbinding. When you told me the other day of that instance you were saved--I should've put it together right then and there. I'm sorry."

“Soul…” Ienzo trailed off. “So he and I--”

“Are bound.”

“Can it be--”

“Not without causing either of you intense pain, and risking your magic ability--if not your life.”

Ienzo felt as though he could not breathe. “So some… seeker… bound him to me?”

He frowned. “On a literal level, yes… but the boy’s soul… had to resonate with you, had to be similar enough to…” 

Ienzo took Demyx’s pendant, and  _ his _ own, and fitted them together.

“...Quite.”

It was getting harder to breathe. Anxiety prickled in his veins. “Am I not allowed one thing, one single solitary thing, where  _ I _ can make a decision?” he gasped. “Am I not allowed--” He eased down on his knees, cradling the pendants. 

“Deep breaths,” Even said, resting his hands on Ienzo’s shoulders. “Breathe.”

“So he made this decision for me? My father?”

“He did not know until just before the coup, and then he figured--”

“I could use the extra protection. Right.” He could feel the excess saliva in his mouth. “So all this moving around was not  _ just _ because we were being followed, was it? It was also partially to--”

“It was never a priority of mine, Ienzo, mostly because--”

“I would inevitably fall in love?” The hysteria was rising and rising. “That--perhaps--I already am? This is so--” He scrambled to his feet. 

“Child, calm down. The magic--”

“No. You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore,” he snarled. “Why would you keep this from me?”

Even’s expression went blank. “What would you have said?”

All Ienzo could hear was his own breathing.

“What would you have said?” Even repeated. “What would you have done? My job is to protect you, Ienzo, to the best of my abilities. What good would it have done, to know this?”

“It’s my life.”

“Your life does not belong to you, child,” he replied. 

“I guess…” An ache flooded him. “I guess it never did.” He held the two pendants. “Right. I see.” He started towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

“What does it matter?”

“Ienzo--”

He slammed the door behind him.

The night air was cold. The soft crunch of the street under his shoes seemed loud. He kept cradling the pendants, unsure of what to do with them. What if he--

Ienzo set them down on the street. He gathered his magic, seeing nobody and nothing in the dark, and launched a shattering spell at both--

They weren’t broken. They weren’t even  _ scratched. _ He picked them back up. 

Even had lied to him.

He kept walking. He wasn’t here to live a normal life, he was here to find his supposed  _ mate _ , that he might be safe, that he might--what? How did they expect him to make good decisions as a king if he was not given the will to do  _ one single _ \--

He could feel he was bleeding magic, sending a signal to whoever wanted to listen--

A whisper of shadows.

He looked over his shoulder and saw the Heartless, how they were strangely humanoid, unlike any he had seen previously in other places. He braced himself. A fight was, if anything, welcome. He sculpted more blades of magic, their violet glow throwing their shapes into relief.

He thought he heard whispers.

_ Help us _ , they hissed.  _ Help us--he-- _

Ienzo balked. 

_ Our hearts… poison… darkness… help me. _

His hands trembled.

_ Hurting. Hurting. Hurts. _

Heartless were not human, they were not more than mere shadow; why was he hesitating?

He took his blades and launched them in an arc at the Heartless, felling them in one swoop. And then they were gone.

The pendants were still warm in his other hand. He opened his fist and saw that they were glowing brighter now. 

Demyx…

The sound of very real human footsteps. Ienzo struggled to flick up his hood, to cover his no-doubt glowing hair, and he started to run--

“You there! Stop!”

A voice he would know anywhere. So slowly, he turned. “Dilan…” All he could see was Dilan’s silhouette, so he used his darkvision spell.

Dilan looked more haggard than he had that morning at the border. “What are you doing out here this time of night?” he asked.

“I…” He had no good reason. “It really is you.”

“Let me take you home.”

“I… can’t.”

“Why not?”

He opened his hand, revealing the two pendants. “Did you know about this?”

“They never told you?”

“No.”

Dilan sighed heavily. “Come along then. You’d best disguise yourself.”

Ienzo chose the face of a random boy. It was always odd, to see his own appearance change; odd, but in some cases comforting. He followed Dilan on foot in silence for what seemed an eternity before finally they arrived at a small apartment building.

This wasn’t the best neighborhood, Ienzo realized. There was garbage on the sidewalks, and stray cats licked at the fluids that came from said bags. The neon sign of a bar flickered brokenly, and every other shop window was boarded up. Dilan led him up a narrow, horribly lit staircase that smelled of fish and urine. He unlocked a door on the third landing. 

The room was small, cramped, and dark. Dilan flicked on a light. The furnishing was nearly beyond minimal--a twin bed made with a plain cover and a single pillow, a card table and folding chair which must serve as his desk, and another more cushy folding chair. Dilan gestured for him to sit in the more comfortable one, so he did.

“Let me look at you,” Dilan said softly, so Ienzo let the illusion fall away. “I can hardly believe it… not long ago you barely came up to my knee. How long has it been?”

“Twelve years.” He looked around the room again, feeling guilt like rivers. “Please tell me these are not your real lodgings.”

“Not quite--this is a unit we use to crash, as it were. It is… sparse, but safe enough.”

Ienzo nodded. At least there was that. “So you’ve truly gone underground, then? Like Aeleus?”

“Insofar as I can. That, and… someone has to keep an eye on you, Ienzo.”

The mollification broke the pleasure of this reunion. “So you’ve been following me?”

“Even wishes--but no. I do, however, run some ground patrol around that house when Aeleus is away.”

Ienzo leaned back in the chair. It smelled a bit musty. “I guess I should thank you.”

Dilan smiled a little. “Reward enough, to see your face again.” 

“You’re not resentful of me?”

Dilan crossed his legs. “This is my… duty.”

“Yet, not an answer to my question.”

He chuckled a little. “I’ve missed your wit. Child, it is not possible to truly live a normal,  _ happy _ life right now. Even if I could, how selfish would that be? I’ve lost too much because of this darkness.”

“More than your freedom, your livelihood?”

Ienzo immediately regretted asking the question--Dilan’s expression darkened. “My family did not live in the castle, you recall,” was all he said.

The guilt worsened, making him feel nauseous now, making his anger at this whole soulbinding nonsense seem trivial-- “Oh, Dilan,” he said. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“There was nothing you could’ve done to stop it, Ienzo. You were a child.” He glanced out the small window; the streetlight hit his violet eyes. 

“This is because of me, because of my line--”

“The tensions were growing long before you were born. You were merely sheltered from it.” He sighed. “It was always an issue. With class inequity… how could the people be anything but discontent, when their rich rulers aren’t even “human?”” He made air quotes. “Xehanort’s propaganda merely sowed the seeds, leading to darkness, leading to… all this. Revolution is not uncalled for--but this kind of revolution is worse than what we had before.”

“So what is there to be done? And what do  _ these _ have to do with all of this?” He brought out the pendants.

Dilan stared down at them hazily. “A lame attempt at peace.”

“I thought it was a way to protect me.”

“It was-- _ is _ ,” Dilan asserted. “What do you know of… the other half?” His lip curled.

Ienzo told him everything. “What do you mean by “peace?””

“This was before Xehanort, of course, but… the seekers came from an independent nation. They… said they would help pacify the people, using their abilities. Help smooth things over while real changes were made.” He frowned. “The child would protect you… and his people would protect ours. But… that never came to fruition.”

“They were hunted,” Ienzo murmured. 

“Yes.”

“By Xehanort?”

“By an extremist group that has long since been enveloped within his forces, so, yes.”

Ienzo wondered how much of Demyx’s amnesia was a blessing. “So how do we even… begin to undo all this?” he asked. “And--why did Even keep it from me?”

Dilan smoothed at one of his braids. “The fool was always trying to protect you from the world, especially after what happened to your poor parents,” he said. “I suppose he was waiting for the time to be right.”

Ienzo pressed his face in his hands. “If he killed the seekers… who is he going after next?”

“Anyone who does not surrender,” Dilan said softly. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. “Bad habit, I know. Do you mind?”

Ienzo shook his head. Dilan lit the cigarette with his fingertips. “And the city-states?”

“Are being pressured to comply, else get swept over with darkness.”

Ienzo twisted the tie of his hoodie. “I fought some, before you saw me,” he said softly. “They were… talking to me. Something about hearts, about… poison.”

Dilan furrowed his brows. “They don’t have intellect. They’re shadows.”

“Then what did I hear?”

“...I’m not sure. I’ll see if… anyone knows anything.”

“How big is the resistance?”

“Sorry?” He tapped some ash into an ashtray. 

“How big is it actually?”

Dilan blinked slowly and dropped his eyes. “A network of a few hundred, across the continent.”

“A few  _ hundred _ ? That’s--”

“What did you think it was, Ienzo?” He exhaled smoke. “Of course we’re trying to recruit, but getting people to agree… when they have families and other things on the line…”

“So this is all futile, is what you’re saying?” He swallowed, feeling a lump in his throat. “We should just--give in to the darkness?”

Dilan scowled. “No, Ienzo. Of course not.” He stubbed out the cigarette and took Ienzo’s hands into his; they were strong and work-roughened. “You could… give people hope.”

“The people that hate me, you mean?”

“People don’t  _ hate _ you, Ienzo. They hate the institution.”

“That I symbolize.”

“They thought you were missing. If you become the face of the resistance… that could mean something.” 

Ienzo hesitated. “What about Even?”

“You’re an adult. Isn’t it time to make your own decision?”

“Exposing my identity could kill me.”

“Good thing you have something to protect you.” He gestured to the pendants. “Look, Ienzo, it’s up to you. Simply… let me know if you’d ever like to meet one of the contacts. Now I should see you home, shouldn’t I?”


	8. Act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo reveals what he's learned to Demyx, who begins to remember. They decide whether or not to act on the bond.

They walked back mostly in silence. By the time they finally got back, it was very late and Ienzo was exhausted, his feet hurting awfully. The light in the window of the townhouse was on. Ienzo took a moment to compose himself. “Are you going to come in? Visit old friends?”

Dilan chuckled. “Maybe another time.” 

“So leaving me to explain this on my own, then.”

He smiled. “Oh, I know you can talk your way out of it. Until we meet again.” He disappeared almost soundlessly into the night.

He hadn’t fully opened the door before Even was on him, grasping his shoulders. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?” All the anger was gone.

“I’m fine. I’m simply--very tired.”

“Where were you? Do you have any idea how worried I was?”

“I needed some air.” 

“It’s after dark--you could’ve gotten hurt, or worse--”

“I was fine.” He started towards the stairs. “Even, I can… defend myself.”

“At the cost of setting a beacon for all Xehanort’s many eager ears.”

This felt like a conversation he’d had many times. “We can argue about this in the morning. I need rest.”

He sighed. “Very well.” Even shut the light. 

Ienzo took a warm shower. Once he was in bed, despite his exhaustion, he struggled to sleep.

Meet the resistance. Be the face of it.

To  _ do _ something. At last.

What about Demyx? They were… quite literally… soulmates. Ienzo felt that rush of heat in his magic again, but it wasn’t lust. At least, not entirely. Had Ansem truly not known about this? Even seemed to think so, Dilan didn’t. Who was right?

Ienzo wished he could ask him. If Ansem had known… why had he made this decision? He, who openly encouraged Ienzo’s willfulness?

(Or was that encouragement all an act?)

He began to understand what Demyx had meant when he said he wasn’t sure if anyone in his life actually cared for him…  _ No, Ienzo, stop being dramatic. _ If Even and the others didn’t care about him, they could’ve abandoned him, or worse, long ago. They did care--even if their care was smothering, misguided--

He took a deep breath, and then another, and another. No use getting worked up.

He wished Demyx were here with him.

* * *

Ienzo sat through class in a haze the next day. He had Demyx’s pendant, as well as the other, in his pocket (he refused to think of it as  _ his _ , but yet also could not bring himself to put it back in its little silver box). He’d only managed to sleep for a few hours, too wound up to do anything other than fret and toss and turn. His calves were aching from the long walk both ways. Had he always been this physically weak? Maybe that should change, especially if he were considering meeting this aqueous resistance. There was a gym on campus, free to use with his tuition. Might be worth scouting out.

He again had the class Demyx TA’d for. He couldn’t help the small smile seeing him, and found it returned. But then, with a flash--he was going to have to tell Demyx what he’d learned. A wave of anxiety made him physically dizzy, and his magic threatened to wake up. He held it at bay and tried to focus on the lecture, about the neoclassical movement. Instead he found himself scribbling in the margins of his notebook.

This was all so bizarre.

He barely knew Demyx, yet here their lives were intertwined. Perhaps the rushes of feeling he was having were predetermined. He tried to hold onto that rage of having this choice taken from him, yet, it was so  _ soothing _ . So almost instinctive. He hadn’t even known he was gay prior to this, had perhaps thought he was  _ nothing _ . Was he even meant to be with anyone else? Perhaps this was what was called "demisexuality", something he'd read about aqueously when he'd researched gender all those years ago--

This romanticism was somewhat pathetic.

Demyx immediately joined him after the class was over. “Hey,” he said. “How are you doing?”

“I am… tired,” he said. “And yourself?”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about… stuff,” he said evasively. 

“Do you have a few moments?”

A small smile. “For you? Any time.”

And he knew that the simplicity of this phrase should not have made him  _ melt _ \--gods, Ienzo hated this. “Is there somewhere private on campus we can talk?”

Demyx pursed his lips. “Sure. Come on.” He led him to the older section of campus. Despite the dreariness of a sky threatening rain, the light still seemed rosy, warm. This time, when Demyx slid his hand into Ienzo’s, Ienzo didn’t pull away. He liked the way the calluses fit against his own soft skin. 

They approached one of the ivy-covered structures. Its face had a sandstone arch, and old glass doors. Ienzo saw closed doors leaving to what was presumably an auditorium. Demyx took him to the left. “Music and music ed have most of our classes here,” he said. “It’s kind of… old, I know.”

As they passed classrooms, Ienzo saw what Demyx meant; the whole building had that slightly sweet smell of old wood. The empty classrooms had blackboards instead of the smartboards Ienzo had seen elsewhere, and the desks were mismatched. Some doors were propped open with doorstops where their hydraulics had failed. A few wooden upright pianos were scratched, their finish faded.

“It’s funny,” Demyx continued. “The concert and recital series bring in a ton of money for campus, and they can’t even bother to remodel the place.”

“Where does it go, then?”

“Did you see that fancy new engineering building?” He sighed. “Listen. Science? Is great. But people aren’t going to listen to  _ science _ on their commute and they’re not going to see it when they turn on their TV.  _ Science  _ won’t help you through the bad times.”

Ienzo bit his lip; it had been Ansem who steered them culturally towards the sciences. “It’s a shame,” he said instead.

Demyx took him up one more flight. He took a keycard out of his wallet and tapped it on a closed door. “Et voila,” he said lamely. “One of the only real perks of being a TA.” 

It was a small, square room, with black soundproofing foam mounted on the walls. There was an electric keyboard, a few black metal music stands, and a chair or two. “A practice suite?”

He nodded. “We’re supposed to do lab hours, but… honestly a lot of us just use them to hang out. Or… other stuff.” He winced. “Not that this is why we’re here.” He pulled two chairs over from the wall. “So… what did you want to talk about?”

Ienzo took a deep breath. He reached into his pocket and pulled out Demyx’s pendant. “I wanted to give this back to you,” he said softly. “Moreover…” He took out the second. Unceremoniously, he fitted the two together.

Demyx’s expression had gone blank, his eyes wide. 

“We’re not just pairbonded,” Ienzo began. “We’re soulbound. My… guardian told me about it. Apparently… your people offered you to me… as protection, and in a wayward attempt at peace. That all of you might help pacify the unrest in Radiant Garden, and stave off revolution during a period of reform.”

Demyx’s hand snapped to his mouth.

“And allegedly, this was done because of the ways our souls resonated with one another. So this half… is mine.” He offered it back to him, but Demyx didn’t take it. “I know this is a lot to take in--believe me, I didn’t react half as well.”

His hand shot from his mouth to his temple, and he let out a pained gasp.

“Demyx?”

“I--I, um…” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I think I… remember--”

“Remember what?”

“God, it fucking--” He rocked back and forth slightly. “Oh…” 

“Are you alright?”

When Demyx finally opened his eyes, they were wet. “Got it,” he said simply. “I was… picked.” He said it with the air of something new and yet known. “My parents… my mom was really sick, and… they would be provided for if… I went with them.”

“With who?”

“The… choosers, the chief of our… colony.” There was something distant and horrified in his eyes. “I was… sold? So my mom could get medicine?”

“They were pairbonded,” Ienzo murmured. “Easier to lose you than her… I’m so sorry.”

“And then, I…” He stood up suddenly, and went over to the window. “They took me, said I had somewhere important to be, and then I  _ saw _ you.”

“That was when you saved my life,” Ienzo said.

“Yes, but… after that…” He tapped his forehead. “They… cut off my form, and they were going to… send me to you, I think, more directly, but…” He leaned heavily against the sill. “All of sudden the colony was being sieged, and everything was being…” A moan. “I just ended up on the beach… and I forgot.”

“And then someone found you.”

“And adopted me. And I lived normally, and Riku and I looked into it when he started getting magic, and then… is now.” He turned to face Ienzo, tears running freely down his face.

“I’m so sorry,” Ienzo said. “I’m so--” It didn’t feel awkward or uncalled for to go over and draw Demyx into his arms, to comfort him as he cried and stroke his hair. Like they’d done it dozens of times before. Ienzo had never been able to make a choice before, and yet still his existence was hurting people.

After a while, Demyx calmed down. He wiped at his eyes. “This is all so weird. Why did they do this to us, Ienzo?”

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t  _ ask _ for any of this. You were just a kid.”

“So were you.” He took a deep breath and realized he, too, was upset. “All along our choices have been taken away from us, and now--” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “There has to be something that can be done. There has to--” In it, a certainty.

He was going to go to the resistance. 

“Demyx?” he asked softly. “I think I know a way to stop all this. To give people choices back. Will you help me?”

He bit his lip. Then, “Yeah. I will.”

Ienzo leaned forward and kissed him. Too quickly it became hotter, more intense; Demyx still tasted like salt, his skin damp. Ienzo drew his hands up through his hair. Demyx’s hands trembled where they rested on his back. He ran his tongue along Demyx’s lips and felt them part.

He hated how natural this felt, how good, his magic waking up, his nerves all too raw. If he’d had a choice, would he have chosen Demyx?

Almost at this thought, the other man pulled away. “Do you want to…” He began. “Do you want to go back to my place?”

Ienzo felt the blood rush to his face. “Yes.”

Demyx picked up his pendant from its place on the chair and slid it back on. Ienzo couldn’t help but stare at the other. “You don’t have to,” he said.

Ienzo nodded, and put it back into his pocket.

They walked off campus together in a sort of silence. Anticipation had his heart racing. He had no idea what he was about to do, if anything, but this resolve made him eager to explore. They were going to get through this  _ together _ . Demyx’s hands, when he undid the lock, were still shaking. “Um, it’s through here,” he said. “My room. I mean.” The color in his face warmed his tan skin. They took off their shoes at the door. 

Ienzo followed him in a haze. The room was relatively small; it barely fit the double bed, the desk and dresser, and a bookshelf full of CDs and records. Ienzo wasn’t sure why he was surprised it was clean; in fact, he could smell fresh laundry and floor cleaner. Blinds made the light even rosier. He noticed, out of the corner of his eye, an instrument--he guessed it was Demyx’s sitar. It was clearly very old, and well loved; the varnish worn off in places, though it had a place of honor by the window on its own stand.

“Oh yeah… there she is,” he said softly. He sat on the bed.

“Perhaps you’ll play for me sometime,” Ienzo said. He turned back to him. It took a moment of culling his nerve before he was able to sit down next to him.

Demyx touched his cheek. “So,” he said in a low voice. “Look… if you ever feel uncomfortable with anything, at any time, just tell me.”

He nodded. It was hard to breathe, and he was sweating under his cardigan. 

Demyx leaned in to kiss him, gently, softly. Ienzo kissed back a little more deeply, reaching over to feel at his back, finding his suspicions were right; Demyx was wiry under that loose shirt. 

He pulled away and kissed at Ienzo’s jaw, his throat, so  _ slowly _ , the feel of it making him gasp for air. He could hear Demyx breathing quickly, unevenly, his hand sliding up under Ienzo’s thigh, bringing with it a rush of goosebumps, the magic quivering around him in little waves. He let himself be eased back onto the bed, which smelled so  _ like _ Demyx. Suddenly Ienzo was feeling at his arms, his sides, his chest. His hands were so much more sensitive now.

He should fight this. Wait, as they’d said. But would it really be so awful to see this through if it were unbreakable anyway?

For a moment they broke apart. Demyx brushed away Ienzo’s bangs. “That eye’s blind,” he said, as explanation. “Too much… magic use, at one point in my life.”

“Oh.” He traced his finger along Ienzo’s lip, making him shudder, and kissed his eyelid. “Would it be okay if I--” He reached for the hem of his own shirt.

Ienzo’s heart just beat all the harder. “Yes.” Even in this dim lighting, he found himself caught staring at him, his lean toned body. Ienzo longed to taste that skin, so he did, pressing his lips Demyx’s shoulder, his collarbone. He breathed that salt, that sweetness. Demyx pressed him down against the bed a little more, close enough that their bodies were touching, that he was certain he could feel Demyx’s dick. It was rubbing up against him, not  _ quite _ between his legs, making his clit throb. Ienzo pushed up, wanting to feel more of it. Demyx slid an arm under him to help.

He hadn’t ever quite felt like this before. It was a feeling that was somehow so new and so old at the same time, familiar yet not. They drank each other in with a sort of urgency. Demyx’s hand slid up under Ienzo’s shirt. “Can I--take this--”

“Yes.” Ienzo struggled out of the sweater; the cooler air of the room was welcome. For a moment Demyx just looked at him. Then, he traced one trembling hand along Ienzo’s side, running it along his flat chest. Ienzo gasped a little. 

Demyx leaned down and kissed his nipple, teasing it gently, and Ienzo nearly swore out loud. He’d never  _ wanted _ so hard, not even as a hormonally confused teenager. “Is that good?”

He could only nod. Demyx kept at it, moving all along his skin before so tentatively sliding one hand up along his inner thigh between his legs. Ienzo thought he might faint. 

“You’re alright?” Demyx asked.

“Yes.” All he could manage; not exactly eloquent.

Demyx touched him slowly, and having it muffled through the clothing was almost more than Ienzo could take. He had to either stop this now, or let it run its course; he was on the verge of falling apart completely. At least this was a choice he  _ could _ make. 

Ienzo pulled his hands away from Demyx’s hair and reached for the button of his jeans, startling him. “I don’t think I can… do the whole thing,” he said thickly. “But perhaps we can--”

“Right. Yeah. Sure.” He laughed a little and helped Ienzo out of his own pants. “Little too hot under the collar?”

“I feel I may combust.”

Demyx pressed a kiss against his cheek, his jaw, his throat. “Maybe I can do something about that.”

“Alright.”

“Alright?”

Despite being in this heightened state, it still took a moment or so of finding the nerve before Ienzo was able to touch Demyx too, wondering along the shape of his dick. Demyx gasped. The skin was feverish even through the fabric of his boxers. 

“Fuck,” he spat. “Ienzo, I--” His hips strained a little. “Could I--touch--”

“Just do it already.”

Another small laugh; Ienzo did too, despite himself. How strange, to be so comfortable with a near-stranger, to open this part of himself to him. Demyx kissed him on the lips, teasing him once or twice more before finally sliding his hand down Ienzo’s waistband. Ienzo couldn’t quite breathe. The moment was so surreal as to be vaguely nostalgic, like it had been done before, the magic making every nerve feel almost twice as much.  _ This is what you wanted, _ he thought towards it.  _ Well, here. _

Demyx felt at him for a moment before he found the clit, almost making Ienzo moan out loud. “God, you’re wet.”

Ienzo just grabbed him and kissed him. Demyx began to stroke him in earnest, a steady, smooth motion, which did not provide relief so much as turn him on more. “I feel so much,” he muttered, without meaning to.

“Me too.”

He couldn’t quite reciprocate as much as he might have liked, only able to fumble at him a few times. Even his most intense personal  _ sessions _ could not compare. Ienzo was acutely aware that it was the soulbinding making him experience this so strongly. 

“Relax,” Demyx whispered. 

He tried to listen. He was shaking. Demyx moved his hand a little faster; Ienzo could already feel the tightening beginning in his stomach, his thighs. He resisted it. He felt both out of his body yet so in it, in awe of the soft sounds they were both making, the way it tasted to kiss him. He pressed harder against Demyx’s hand. The subtle scratch of the calluses along the too-sensitive part of him became all he could focus on. 

_ This really is happening, _ he thought dazedly. 

“Does this feel good?” Demyx asked him, his voice somewhat distant. 

“Don’t stop.” So he was capable of speech.

Lips against his throat. He could hear his own breath, heightened and strange. He felt Demyx tease the actual opening, and after a moment, slip a finger up into him, causing him to spasm. “Does that--hurt?” Demyx asked. “I--”

“No. It doesn’t--” He bucked his hips against it, and feeling the push and pull, Demyx still working his clit with his thumb. “Oh…” Not so much a moan as a sort of realization.

Even after so much buildup, it came as a shock to him, little waves breaking over him. Ienzo wasn’t able to do anything but let it happen, a warm release in his magic making the world fuzzy. Demyx pressed a kiss against his forehead. “Did you just--”

“...Maybe a little.” He swallowed, feeling tears in his eyes, of all the things. The sensation of warmth hadn’t faded, and again all his senses felt raw, as though anything insignificant had peeled away. 

“I thought I felt it.” He squirmed a little. The color on his face had reached his collarbones.

“Lay down,” Ienzo said. 

“You don’t… I mean, it was your first time  _ ever _ , so--” It seemed difficult for him to speak.

“I want to.”

Demyx complied. Ienzo eased off his underwear and took his dick into his hand. Demyx moaned. “Just kind of--here.” He adjusted Ienzo’s hand. 

A sort of embarrassment almost broke the pleasure he was feeling. How often had he fantasized about having one of these himself, only to not know how to properly deal with it? But after a moment or so, Demyx was making these small beautiful noises, his eyes shut tight. Ienzo tried to kiss him too, to find the spots that excited him. Doing this flooded the magic with another sort of pleasure. Demyx clutched the sheet with one hand. He felt Demyx’s cock tense a little, and he moaned, and Ienzo felt the sticky heat of it against his palm. A heartbeat after this, he thought he felt Demyx’s energy brush against his, that same moment of release. 

Oh.

For a moment they both struggled to catch their breath. Ienzo knew without being told that his hair was again glowing; he could feel it on his scalp. “Are you alright?” Demyx asked him. Then, “here.” He handed him a tissue to wipe off his hand.

“I’m… fine.” Demyx threw it out for him. “I feel like we’ve… done this before.”

“Me too.” He settled more naturally against the sheets and drew Ienzo against him. 

“You’ve had sex with other people. Does it feel like that?”

He laughed. “No. Not even close.”

Ienzo did not know the feeling washing over him. He rested his head against Demyx’s chest. The other man began to play with his hair.

“Does this happen every time you come?”

“I don’t  _ think _ so. I’ve never particularly noticed. I think this was… special.” His lip curled.

Another laugh. He took one of Ienzo’s hands into his. For a few minutes they just enjoyed each other; it took Ienzo too long to realize that what he felt was  _ safety _ . He did not have to worry, right now, about consciously reining the magic that always threatened to explode from him. Demyx took care of all that. “You know…” He began. “This… soulbond stuff. Do you think you and me would have picked each other otherwise?”

“I… am not entirely sure,” Ienzo said. “But… if any of what they’ve told me is true, then… we were chosen because our souls  _ resonated _ , not because we’re two powerful people. That means on some level… we must be intrinsically compatible. Better to think that… than the alternative.”

“I still don’t really know you,” Demyx murmured. “...And so much for waiting.”

“Quite. Well.” He took a deep breath. “We’ve got time… relatively speaking.”

“And I should  _ actually _ buy you dinner.”

Ienzo chuckled a little. “That would be quite nice.”


	9. New Friends, Old Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo goes out with Demyx and his friends, only to run into an old adversary.

As Ienzo went home, he marveled over the strangeness he felt. His senses still were raw, almost painfully so; the noise of the crowded streetcar gave him a headache. He wondered if he were somewhat in shock. He didn’t believe in virginity, but this was definitely a life-before and a life-after situation. Then again, it had been ever since he’d met Demyx here. 

He went home. It was still a decent hour, so Even did not accost him as he was wont to do. He showered and noted that beneath his sweater Demyx had left him with some decently-violet hickies. Ienzo sighed and healed them away. He did some homework, some light reading of his own. When he finally slept, it was like the dead.

Ienzo dreamt.

He dreamt of water and drowning and the feeling of being saved. He dreamt of his father and Braig and Even, of bittersweet memories before he knew they were bittersweet. Despite it all… Ienzo missed them.

When he woke, he blinked the requisite tears out of his eyes. Demyx had texted him a few times.

_ Good morning [eyes emoji] happy Friday. Say, a bunch of us were going to go out later, want to come? _

He smiled a little.  _ I would, but I’m only twenty. _

_ No need to worry. Drinking age here is only 18. You’re not getting out of this one. [wink] Besides, what if I want to show you off? _

_ What is there _ to _ show off? _

_ Har har. Anyway, you in? _

He wondered if Even would be pleased he had made friends, or worried for his safety if alcohol was involved. And crowds… he felt a surge of nerves despite himself.  _ I’ll try. _ Why not? The alternative was spending another evening reading by himself, alone. Demyx would magically protect him, and he could handle the rest.

Ienzo got ready for his day and went to get some breakfast. “You’re alright?” Even asked.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

He shook his head a little. He looked somewhat frazzled; his hair was unbrushed, his shirt wrinkled. “I suppose you’re right. I… you ran out the other night, child. We haven’t spoken since.”

“You were never one for small talk,” Ienzo muttered, pouring himself some coffee. “If you  _ must _ know. I’m angry. What  _ else _ are you keeping from me, Even?”

He leaned against the counter. “Nothing of any significance. That was… it.”

“When were you going to tell me?”

“I was going to wait until you were fully of age. Fate had other plans.”

“What would you have done if we had run into him before?”

He shut his eyes for a moment. “Eaten my table of crow.”

Ienzo looked into his bowl of cereal. “When will you realize I’m not a child?”

Even reached over and took his hand; the touch startled him. “You are…  _ right _ . But I’ve… we’ve been doing this for so long. I’ve seen you grow up, raised you, and yet… I worry for you, Ienzo. This is a tempestuous world enough to be in even were you not… a prince. I wanted you to have a good life… but when that was not possible, keeping you alive was good enough.”

“But you understand why I am so frustrated? You wax poetic about my brilliance, yet you will hardly let me make my own decisions… limited as they are.”

“I… understand.” 

“I hope you do.” He exhaled. “I will be going out with friends this evening. Just so you know.”

Ienzo could  _ see _ the amount of restraint it took for Even to merely say, “Alright. He will be with you… the boy?”

“Yes.”

“I… see. How do you feel about that?”

Ienzo dropped his eyes. He hoped Even didn’t have some way to  _ sense _ what had happened between them yesterday. “It is very strange,” he admitted. “We’re strangers… yet I feel so compelled. On the one hand, I wished we could’ve met organically. On the other… the magic tells me this is right, so who am I if I do not listen to it? I feel… safe. Which I suppose is the point.”

“Let me meet him,” Even said. “All this time… and I’ve no idea who he is.”

“Perhaps after tonight.”

“Right. I see.” Even leaned against one palm.

“Are  _ you _ alright? When was the last time you left this house?”

“There are… affairs I am dealing with,” Even said. “Nothing to worry about.” Off Ienzo’s expression, “I will  _ tell _ you if there’s anything of major import.”

“Please get some sleep… and some fresh air,” Ienzo said. “You can’t fret over me if you’re unwell yourself.”

A small smile. “Very well, Ienzo.”

After this, class was uneventful. Ienzo was amazed at how little effort it took for him to get an excellent grade. He desired more of a challenge. This wasn’t one of the days where he had Demyx’s class, so he merely kept himself occupied until the morning was over. 

Waiting for him outside of the lecture hall was Riku, of all people. Ienzo frowned. “Have you been following me?”

“I asked for your schedule from Demyx. He’s been moping around like a lovesick puppy.” He ruffled his long silver hair. “Hungry?”

They got sandwiches and sat in a small booth in one of the campus eateries. “You do strike me as a motley pair,” Ienzo admitted.

“So do you,” Riku pointed out. “Soulmate bullshit, right?”

Ienzo tensed. 

“It’s alright. I’m muffling what we’re saying.”

He sighed. “...Quite,” he said. “It’s been… odd, to say the least.”

“I bet.”

There was a moment of silence. Riku crossed his arms. Finally, Ienzo said quietly, “I plan on going to the resistance myself. I have… a contact. If you wish to go with me, that’s your choice.”

A wry smile. “That’s what I’m talking about.”

“Who  _ are _ you, Riku?”

“A person of no importance. Not really. I was just lucky enough to end up with the genes that caused  _ this _ .” He touched a strand of his hair. 

Ienzo blinked. A magic user born to non-magic parents was very rare indeed; the other way around was much more common. He chuckled a little. “Lucky.”

“...Besides. Demyx was taken in by my aunt. It’s kind of… personal.”

“You’re family? That’s not what he told me.”

Riku shrugged. “There was a falling out between our parents a few years ago. And we were never close. But we… have to stick together. He acts like camouflage.” 

“...Yes.” He swallowed. “Did he tell you… who bound us? And who I am?”

“...I have my suspicions,” Riku admitted. “You’re powerful, and if you were bound you have to be important.” He waved a hand vaguely. “But I can also see that you don’t trust me, and I can’t blame you for that.”

Ienzo nodded slowly.

“Look, I may come off as… ambivalent, towards Demyx, but if he ends up hurt--”

Ienzo locked eyes with him. “I do not want that either.” 

Riku bobbed his head once. “Is it weird? Falling in love instantly?”

“I suppose I wouldn’t know the difference,” Ienzo admitted. “But yes, it is strange. On one level we are strangers. On another… we’re not. I could not tell you his favorite color, or his ambitions, or his philosophy on life… yet I feel as though I do know him. It’s all… very aqueous.”

Riku laughed a little; it had almost no sound to it. “It’s a trip and a half. You know, I… helped him find out who he is.”

“You mean that he’s a seeker?”

“We were both kind of going through it. The second I hit puberty I was bleeding magic and attracting bad guys, and when we were together, it… stopped. So we did our own research.”

“I presume it wasn’t that easy.”

“Well no, of course not. We ended up breaking into the mayor’s library--that’s a story for another day. Ever since the seekers were hunted… it was all hush-hush, like they never were in the first place.”

“Oh, propaganda. I know it well.” He stabbed the last few remaining leaves of his salad absently. “Believe me.”

Riku’s lip quirked. “I can’t just lay back anymore and let this happen.”

“Me, either. Besides, I think the resistance can take as many warm bodies as are willing.”

“Then it’s a good thing I know a few people.” A mischievous smile. 

“...Oh?”

“Let’s just say you’ll meet them tonight.” He picked up his empty clamshell container. “Be seeing you. Though I gotta say--you don’t seem the clubbing type.”

Ienzo thought the same, but he added, “I’m full of surprises.”

“I’m sure you are,” Riku said, without turning back, and Ienzo felt the ward he’d put dissipating, sound returning to normal volume. 

* * *

Later that evening, Ienzo got ready. He’d been told by Demyx that they were going to a blacklight party at the local club--aptly titled Seventh Heaven--and bright colors or white would work best. He thought he would feel more nervous, but knowing Demyx would be there soothed him. Surprising--yet not--how quickly he’d become accustomed to their link. He chose a white pullover. As he picked up yesterday’s pants to throw in the hamper, the pendant thumped loudly onto the floor. He took it into his hand.

At this point there was no denying it.

It was small, but felt weighty around his throat. It had a chain, and a clasp, unlike Demyx’s, perhaps put there after the fact. Twine was not fit for a prince. Ienzo tucked it into his shirt, and stared at it for a moment, trying to see if it were visible from the outside. 

He took the streetcar over to Demyx’s, where they were going to “pregame”. Ienzo did not intend on drinking much, if at all; he’d never had much of a taste for it, whenever Even allowed him to have wine with dinner. But partying like this was supposedly normal.

The door was open before he could even knock. “Zo! Hey!” A set of string lights had been hung, and some pop music played idly. Demyx leaned in to kiss him once on the lips. He was wearing a bright green T-shirt that physically hurt to look at.

“Oh, that is  _ lurid _ ,” Ienzo muttered.

“Ugh, Riku said the same thing.” He pulled at the hem. “Should I change?”

“Do you have anything a little less obnoxious?”

“That is a… good question. Help me pick?”

Ienzo could do little more than wave at the other people in the apartment before he was led back. But Demyx didn’t do anything other than open his dresser and start pulling out shirts. In the weeks Ienzo had known him, he hadn’t really worn anything out of the ordinary--plaid, simple graphic Ts, jeans. But these shirts were a little more… extravagant; Hawaiian prints, checkers, all sorts of colors, a button-down with pineapples. “Were you being conservative for little old me?” he asked innocently. 

Demyx flushed. “Hey! I’m a TA, I have to look the part!” 

“With that hair?”

He laughed. “Quit razzing me.”

Ienzo smirked. He realized they’d never actually gotten a chance to flirt; it felt good. “If you’re going for color, I’d say that one.” He gestured to the pineapple shirt.

Quite unembarrassed, Demyx pulled off the shirt he was wearing. Ienzo realized he hadn’t actually gotten a good look at him before; he felt the blood rush to his face. “Ta da,” Demyx said, with a flourish.

“Yellow is a good color on you,” Ienzo said lamely. 

“Yeah, I’ve been told.” Demyx turned to the mirror and gave his hair one more fluff. “Alright. Let’s have some drinks. But first--”

Ienzo leaned in to kiss him; for a moment they were lost in each other before he found the willpower to pull away. “I’d hate for people to get the wrong impression of me,” he said. “Right. Let’s get drunk.”

“Now we’re talking!”

The people in the apartment’s small living room were more or less the same ones Ienzo had met that afternoon at lunch; along with two others, a boy and girl he did not recognize. The girl leapt up. She was petite, thin, her red hair curled around her small face. “You must be Ienzo,” she said. “Hi. I’m Kairi. This is my boyfriend Sora.” They both had painfully blue eyes, such a distinct blue that Ienzo felt a spark of recognition. Not of either of them, but of what that color meant. He smiled pleasantly, shook their hands. He locked eyes with Riku, preparing a drink on the counter; the man nodded once. “I love your hair,” she added, as if this were not hint enough.

“I know, right?” Yuffie said cheerfully. “He says it was an accident, but come on.” To his shock, she came up and lifted a strand of his bangs. “ _ Look _ at this.”

“Please do not touch me,” Ienzo said. 

She stuck her tongue out. “Alright, relax.”

“Ienzo. You having?” Riku asked, gesturing to the concoction he was mixing.

He exhaled. Maybe it  _ would _ be good to lose some of this edge. “Please.”

He found himself getting pleasantly buzzed with them. He’d never had hard alcohol before, and to his surprise he found he liked the harsh taste of it. It  _ did _ strange things to his magic, which Demyx was thankfully able to pacify; Ienzo felt as though the world were quite loud. He was on the verge of peeking into everyone’s thoughts. He decided he would pry more about Sora and Kairi’s origins when he was sober again, and instead found himself  _ chatting. _ Ienzo was surprised at the amount of words he was holding in, his intense and unrealized desire for human contact. Around ten, they headed out to the club.

Demyx slid an arm around his waist. “You okay?” he asked, whisper close. “I know this is all new to you.”

“Oh--yes,” Ienzo said. Everything was a bit distant, a bit foggy, a bit  _ heavy _ , and he realized that “I think I may be drunk.”

Demyx smiled. “I think so too. But do you feel… okay? Would you rather go back?”

Ienzo considered. He squinted. “I feel good,” he said, barely conscious of the words. 

"Good. That's what matters." There was already a line of partygoers waiting outside, but they were waived in by the bouncer. "Riku knows the bartender," Demyx explained.

"Riku is awfully well connected."

"He makes it work."

Inside, the blacklights made everything glow. Demyx touched Ienzo's hair. "It's just the UV," Ienzo said. "You have it too."

The music was loud, almost painfully so, playing some kind of techno. The others sought out drinks, but Demyx took Ienzo and led him to the dance floor. 

"I don't dance," Ienzo said quickly.

"Come on, Zo. Try for me?"

And it was definitely the alcohol, but he said, "alright."

How odd this all was.

It took him a few minutes to fully succumb to the music, but it helped to have Demyx's hands on his waist. He found he was having  _ fun _ , drunk in this place with awful music and glowing people. Ienzo pulled him into a kiss, one that tasted like the whiskey gingers they'd had, and for a moment everything seemed to stop. Too soon, Demyx pulled away. "I like your style, but we  _ are _ in public," he said into Ienzo's ear.

They kept dancing for what seemed to be a long time, until Ienzo was gasping for breath and sweaty and laughing. He felt like he'd never had fun before, not like this. Maybe he  _ was _ a clubbing person. "I'm so thirsty," he said. "Let's get another drink." They waded over to the bar. Blurrily, he saw that according to the clock it was midnight. "The witching hour."

Demyx pecked his cheek. "Water, for you, before you drink more."

Ienzo took it without complaint, even though it tasted vaguely of chlorine. 

"New… friend, of yours, Demyx?" The bartender asked. He had a shorn blond scalp and a goatee, and a strange accent. 

"Oh! Right. Luxord, this is my boyfriend, Ienzo. Ienzo, Luxord."

"This is the friend of Riku's?" Ienzo asked.

"Correct." With an impeccably graceful motion, he poured out two drinks which only glowed further under the light. When Ienzo reached for his wallet, he just said, "on the house. Don't worry about it." With a wink. 

Ienzo did not know what to read into this gesture--was it friendliness, flirting, or something else? But the thought was shaken quickly. The drink was delicious--sweet and tart, yet bringing out the flavor of whatever alcohol was in it. Moreover, it was strong enough to make Ienzo shudder, and he wondered if he should sober himself with his power.

Demyx made a face. "Yeah, I should've warned you. Luxord's drinks can knock you flat."

Already Ienzo felt things getting less distinct, and he couldn't finish it. Instead, he asked for more water. They returned to the dance floor, finding Riku and the others at last; Lea and Roxas were jokingly engaged in some sort of tango, and Riku had Sora in his arms like he had no care in the world. Kairi did not seem to care; in fact, she was smiling. When she saw Ienzo, she offered her hands. "Dance with me?"

He looked towards Demyx, who just shrugged. So he took her hands. It was very clearly platonic. "So the three of you are a thing, then?" He asked, drunk enough to lose tact.

"Oh, yeah. I thought you knew that." They swayed together for a moment. "Demyx has been so happy since he met you."

Because it was magically predetermined, Ienzo nearly said. "Oh?"

An eager nod. "He was always, like, complaining nothing he ever had was genuine." She smiled, the light doing weird things to her teeth. "I'm so glad to see you again, Ienzo. You have no idea."

Ienzo felt dizzy. "...Again?"

She leaned in a little. "Oh, come on. I know you were just pretending to meet me at the apartment, for the others' sake." Then, at his baffled expression. "You  _ do _ remember, don't you?"

The dizziness was worsening. Through his drunk haze, he thought he did, when she was smaller, just a girl--for some reason, Ienzo looked up into the crowd, and saw a man with distinctly blue hair darting out one of the exits. "Excuse me," he said, and left her without a word. He pushed through the throng of dancers, his anxiety inflating unchecked, making it at last. But when he faced the open courtyard, all he saw were ordinary people, smoking and talking where it was quieter. 

"Hey! Zo, what's up?" Demyx was breathless. 

"I saw him," Ienzo murmured.

"Saw  _ who? _ "

"He was here, I swear." 

Demyx put a hand on his shoulder. "I think you just drank a little too much. Why don't you sit down?"

He was nauseous now. "I think instead I… need a restroom."

"There's one right over there." Demyx gestured to a door at the corner of the courtyard. "I'll wait right here."

Thankfully, there was no line, and though he felt horrible doing so, he crouched on the dirty floor and threw up. He took a deep breath, pulled at his magic, and made himself sick again, all his drunkenness washing away. Suddenly sober, this whole experience was  _ much _ less appealing. 

He was  _ positive  _ he'd seen Saïx. How had the man found him? Ienzo splashed water on his face. Even  _ with  _ Demyx's protection? Had the man's enhancements allowed him to poke through that? Else one of Demyx's friends or anyone at the university had figured it out--

A knock at the door. "I gotta pee," someone slurred.

"Just a moment." He splashed cold water on his face, masked his glowing hair with an illusion. He walked back to Demyx wearily.

"You alright?" He asked. Ienzo could see now that he was wrecked. 

"Got a bit overheated," he said. "I know it isn't that late… but can we go home?"

Demyx blinked disjointedly. "Too late for you to go home on your own," he mumbled. "Stay over."

He had a point--if Saïx  _ were _ around, heading their separate ways was a bad idea. "...Alright."

After the heat of the club, the streets were mercifully cool. They took one of the last streetcars of the evening back towards Demyx's apartment; blearily, Demyx gave him the keys, too drunk to do it himself. Ienzo eased him into his bed; he fell asleep instantly. Ienzo slid off his sweaty clothing, and pulled on one of Demyx's shirts--he doubted he would care. Besides, his scent helped ease the fear that had overtaken him. He lay down on the double bed; Demyx mumbled something incoherent and looped an arm around his waist, pulling him close.

Between Demyx and his own exhaustion, Ienzo was surprised to find himself drifting off.


	10. Thinning of the Veil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo tries to plan next steps concerning Saïx... as well as Demyx.

He woke slowly.

His legs ached, and he was desperate to pee. He found himself glad he'd decided to sober himself; otherwise, he knew he'd have a hideous hangover. He was horridly dehydrated. He went to the bathroom, washed his face. He had awful bedhead. His first night with his supposed soulmate hadn't exactly been romantic.

He knew he had to deal with the fact of Saïx--and Kairi?--at some point. He crossed over to the kitchen, still littered with alcohol and mixer bottles. He drank a few glasses of water. Lea was snoring on the couch. Ienzo saw Demyx, a pale shade of green, cross over to the bathroom, and heard him retch. Ienzo sighed. At least he could do this much. He got him a glass of water and knocked at the door. "Occupied," he said wearily.

"I've got something for you. Let me in."

"You don't need to see this."

"I can help."

After a moment, Ienzo heard the toilet flush, and the door cracked open. Demyx sat on the floor, holding his head with one hand. 

"I can fix your hangover," he added more quietly. "You'll just get sick again, is all."

"You're not bullshitting me?"

He shook his head. "Give me your hand."

Demyx did; his was clammy. Ienzo gently pulled the hangover from him with his magic. He vomited once more, then looked up in confusion. "Holy fuck," he said.

"Better?"

"...Much. God, Ienzo, if you sold that you'd make a fortune." He shut the toilet lid and flushed. 

"Were I not a fugitive, I would." He smiled a little. 

"...Thanks." Demyx stood. "Hey… that's my shirt."

"Do you mind? I felt rather sweaty."

"No. It… it's nice." He sighed. "Kinda wish the first night you stayed over was better."

"...Well. We can fix that."

He nodded once, a blush coloring his face. "Let me get cleaned up. We should go out for breakfast." 

Ienzo did. He felt loath to put his dirty clothes back on, but he had to. Once they were ready, they set out into the perpetual twilight. Demyx squeezed his hand. “So I have to ask,” he said in a low voice. “What do you remember from last night?”

Demyx frowned. “Well… honestly? It’s all kind of… hazy.”

“I’m not surprised.” Ienzo sighed. “I believe… I saw an old adversary of mine.”

He stopped in his tracks. “You’re sure you weren’t just trashed?”

“Relatively sure, yes. He’s hard to miss.” He described Saïx briefly.

Demyx shook his head. “What if it was just someone with blue hair? Isn’t my magic… shielding yours, or whatever? Isn’t that the point?”

“Doesn’t stop him from tracking the old-fashioned way.”

Demyx took both of his hands and squeezed them. “There’s no point torturing yourself unless you know for sure.”

He had a point. Ienzo still intended on telling Aeleus when he got home. 

They grabbed breakfast in a small cafe near Demyx’s apartment. Like Riku had, Ienzo cast a small muffling spell. “Where did you meet Sora and Kairi?”

Demyx blinked. “They’re Islanders too. Were always attached to Riku at the hip. I dunno.”

“Kairi claims she knows me.”

“Do you think you have?”

“I have these strange… partial memories, which may just be corroboration,” he said. “But if they’re magic… Do you know what’s special about them?”

“Not… really. Honestly, Ienzo, we don’t talk all magic, all the time.” A wry laugh. 

Oh to have that kind of life. “I suppose that is fair.”

Demyx reached over the small table to take his hand. “Why don’t we just enjoy our date?”

Ienzo sighed. “Yes. You are right.”

* * *

When Ienzo got home, he braced himself for the third degree; but to his shock, the house was empty. The wards were still intact, and there was no sign of a break in. Was Even simply following his advice?

There was a note on the fridge.  _ No need to worry. Back soon. -E _

Ienzo showered, shedding the final remnants of last night. He felt considerably less safe without Demyx. He finished the last remaining bits of his coursework and started his own personal study, one ear at the door, his dagger nearby. Has he always been this paranoid, and simply never noticed?

After a while, he heard the front door open, and braced for attack before he sensed Even. He headed down and saw him carrying in groceries. “So you made it back, then,” he said dryly. 

“I would’ve come home--but--well.” He took a breath and explained.

Even’s eyes bulged, finally giving Ienzo the reaction he was looking for. He almost dropped his bags. “You’re sure?”

“Nearly positive.”

He put his head in his hands. “We haven’t had any confirmed sightings, but I’ll be sure to tell Aeleus--in the meantime, you should probably stay here. Else…” He shuddered. “We could always call the boy if we need him.”

“You just sound so pleased.”

“I know that’s his purpose, but at the same time…” He looked back towards Ienzo. 

“Something you don’t have control over.” Ienzo chuckled a little. “Right. Though there is one more thing I had questions about.”

Even began to unload the groceries. “And that is?”

“Do you know of any Islander named Kairi?”

Even turned. “...You’ve no memory?”

“I truly don’t.”

“I’m not surprised… it was shortly after the death of your dear parents, so your memory may be compromised, as it were.” He put a hand to his brow. “She was their princess. Are you truly forgetting all of the history I taught you? Why even bother?”

Ienzo rolled his eyes. 

“We’d gone there to introduce Ansem as the new king. You were fast friends, if I recall correctly.”

“...Were we…” He muttered. “Are her parents still alive?”

“They fled shortly before the fall. Critical resistance contacts. They hoped to… rebuild, and repatriate.” A sigh. “Didn’t we all.”

Ienzo made a note to himself to look into their line. “Seems magic is much less rare than I was led to believe. We flock together like birds, don’t we?”

“Yes, yes,” Even said absently.

“Might be worth getting to know her then… again.” Ienzo picked up one of the apples that had just been bought. 

“Did you enjoy your time gallivanting about?”

“Before I saw him… I did,” Ienzo admitted. “Strange dichotomy, between this “normal” life and everything else. I… you don’t think he  _ knows _ about me?”

“I… cannot be sure,” Even said. “But we must be vigilant.”

“Are we ever not?” Ienzo looked at his reflection in the wax of the apple. “Were you able to find the goat? I have a lovely recipe.”

* * *

Ienzo could not stop thinking about Saїx. As he moved through the days… past midterms, past dates with Demyx… he still kept looking out for that shaggy head of blue hair. But Ienzo did not see or sense him again, even past the full moon. How could he possibly relax?

Demyx helped. It was lighthearted, even  _ effortless _ , to be with him, and knowing his magic was at least partially blocked gave him a modicum of comfort he’d never quite had. They did spend quite a lot of time in his room whenever they could be alone, simply cuddling or kissing or something more.

Ienzo started taking birth control pills, acquired with ease through the student health center. His transition had been magical, not medical, and fertility spells for or against children were frightfully complicated. He knew that final step would probably come soon, and he figured best to be cautious. 

How odd.

Ienzo knew he did love him, involuntarily, but still deeply. The more they were together, the more he seemed to notice about him, especially if they spent time with Demyx’s friends; he  _ was _ unconsciously charming, but on the other hand the real appeal was there. He was sharp, observant, though he often feigned the opposite. They would talk for hours about every little passing thought in their minds; Demyx humored his ramblings about this or that book he’d read, or the theories he had about his own magic. Similarly, hearing Demyx talk so technically about his own music served as a turn-on.

“It’s been easier, since we met,” Demyx admitted, strumming his sitar lightly. “To… make things. I feel like I’ve been missing something, and that hole is just… gone.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “And I know it’s just because… I’m  _ supposed _ to want to be around you. But at the same time… it’s such a relief.”

“I agree,” Ienzo said quietly. “I feel I can’t let my guard down around anyone else.”

Demyx set his sitar aside and lay back. The string lights around the room made everything rosier. “So this resistance… what happens?”

“The next meeting is apparently soon,” Ienzo admitted, “Around Samhain… the thinning of the veils between worlds.” He looked at his palms; he could feel the magic gradually increasing the closer they got. “The boost in power makes the vulnerability we get by joining worth it. ...So I’ve heard. The longer I live a “normal” life, the less I feel I know.” He sighed. “But at least something can be done. I think. I hope.” He exhaled. The air was getting cooler, the more it edged into fall. He lay back with Demyx and felt him draw his arms around him. “Sometimes I feel like there’s no real future for us. All the while darkness encroaches and we… wait.”

Demyx pressed a kiss against his brow. “I know. Believe me. But… I believe in us. In you.”

“How I wish I could’ve just met you on the street.”

“Well. The alternative other than this is… never meeting at all, and I can’t handle that, either.” He chuckled a little. “I’m just… glad it was you.”

“...I’m glad too.” He leaned in to kiss him. Demyx pulled a hand through his hair and brought him closer; Ienzo rolled his hips so he was lying partially on him. Demyx’s hand slid down his back, over the curve of his ass, bringing with it goosebumps and making him shudder. Ienzo had gotten used to this all too quickly. He let his own hand trace the planes of Demyx’s chest, and heard him gasp softly. Ienzo worked off his shirt and kept touching him, loving the way it made him feel grounded. Warmth rushed to his face.

Demyx undid the buttons of Ienzo’s shirt, sliding it off, and pressed his lips against his throat, nipping softly. Ienzo felt a hand ease between his legs and reached to undo the buttons of his slacks. Still awkward, to undress, but Demyx helped him, kissing his chest, his stomach, and down farther, making him moan. He was eased back down onto the bed. Demyx took off his own pants and returned to him, drawing Ienzo’s mouth back to his.

Demyx drew his hand against Ienzo’s thigh, the soft and sensitive skin there, before so tentatively stroking at his clit. Ienzo shivered. At least it was easier to touch Demyx too now, so he did, taking his dick into his hand and working at the tip. Demyx made a small noise. Ienzo loved the way his breath changed. It should not be this  _ easy _ to be so vulnerable in front of someone else.

Demyx moved a little quicker, rolling it against his fingertips, and slid one of his fingers inside of Ienzo. This used to be enough; and Ienzo knew he could get off if this continued. But he wondered… “Hey,” he said softly. “Do you think--?”

Demyx cocked his head. “What?”

“I want to… try going farther.”

He gasped. “You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“Um… I… yeah, no, totally.” He laughed a little. “Let me get a condom.” Ienzo watched him cross over to his dresser and open a drawer. 

This was so… odd. Ienzo could feel the blush in his own face. 

“If I’d known, I would’ve… I don’t know, bought wine, or something.” Demyx chuckled again; Ienzo realized he was nervous.

“No need to be anxious,” he said softly, reaching for his hand. 

“I can’t help it.” Demyx bit his lip. He knelt down next to Ienzo, stroking the uneven edges of the package. “Listen… just tell me, if…”

“I know.” Ienzo took Demyx’s dick back into his hand, helping him get hard again. Still, his hands were shaking when he helped him put the condom on.

“I’m surprised you don’t have magical birth control or something.” Demyx eased back on top of him, teased his thighs open. 

“It is all  _ very _ complicated, and requires ingredients that aren’t exactly available in a store.” His heart was racing. 

Demyx’s flush worsened; Ienzo touched his cheek. He propped himself up with an elbow. Ienzo felt a finger slide into him, then another, an unexpected prickle of pain giving him pause for a moment, but the way Demyx kissed him helped warm it away. Ienzo wrapped a leg around his hips, to help give him a better angle, and a moment later the tip of it pressed against his opening. “You’re okay?” Demyx asked.

“I think so.”

Demyx eased into him a little more; Ienzo couldn’t help the flinch. It wasn’t  _ agonizing _ , but it wasn’t comfortable, either. “You sure?”

He’d just have to bear it for a moment. “Yes.”

More pressure, and a bit more tense pain. “It looks like that hurts.”

“It doesn’t.” Ienzo felt his hips against him; that must’ve been all of it. Still, the feel of it was not encouraging; how did people  _ fake _ orgasms? He could barely keep the grimace off his face. “I’m… fine.”

Demyx exhaled. “Why don’t we do something that feels better for you?”

“How else do I get… used to things?” he asked.

“Lube would probably help.” Demyx pulled out of him. “I can get some for next time, okay?” His expression had become somewhat unreadable; Ienzo felt betrayed by his own body, moreso than usual. 

“I’m sorry.”

Demyx kissed him once. “It’s not your fault. Believe me, the first time someone went inside  _ me _ was a real shitshow.” He offered a tentative smile. He threw away the condom.

Ienzo was shaken into honesty. “I just thought it would be easier,” he mumbled. “After all… it’s all well and good when you touch me, but…”

“We can try again,” Demyx said.

“Aren’t you disappointed?”

Ienzo could see he was deciding whether or not to lie. “Well--a little,” he admitted. “I mean, I thought--”

“It would be the best sex of your life?”

He lay down next to him. “I wouldn’t say  _ best _ , but--”

“At least you’d finish.” Ienzo bit his lip; his humiliation felt complete, and while he wasn’t  _ aching _ , exactly, things did feel odd between his legs. 

“Hey,” Demyx said softly. “It’s not your fault. I could’ve… fingered you more, or…”

“Lube. As you said.” He tried to smile. 

“Do you want me to… touch you, or?”

Ienzo shook his head. “Feels like the moment has passed, no?”

A sigh. “Yeah. Let’s just… cuddle a while.”


	11. Samhain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo and company go to a resistance meeting, with many unexpected twists and turns along the way.

The next morning, Ienzo was sore; he felt it rather distinctly when he moved. There had been a little blood, the night before, but it had sorted itself out. He did not exactly feel enlightened, merely disappointed. He  _ had _ wanted it to be good, or at least painless. He considered buying himself a dilator, considered spells. He knew next to nothing about sex magic; should that change? Or was he merely thinking too hard about things?

Likely the latter. 

Aeleus was waiting for him at the kitchen table. “Good morning, Ienzo.”

“Hello.”

“You seem tired.”

“I… am.”

He cocked his head. Aeleus looked tired himself. “Is everything alright?”

Ienzo hesitated. He wanted someone to talk to; but how embarrassing was it to admit what had happened? That he couldn’t even have proper sex with his own  _ soulmate _ ? He also knew the longer his pause went on, the more Aeleus would be concerned. “Something did happen, but it should fix itself.” He hoped.

He nodded. “I know we… are not so close anymore. But know I am a patient ear, Ienzo.”

He smiled. “I know. And I appreciate it.”

Ienzo made them both omelettes. He needed, more than ever, the neat order of cooking. Perhaps he was more upset than he thought; though he did know that increased emotionality was a side effect of his pills. 

“Kind of you,” Aeleus said. “You always  _ were _ a little chef--though your idea of  _ meals _ back then were a lot less palatable.”

“I’m sure Even’s been feeding you gruel,” Ienzo said.

He cracked a small smile. “He never did see the body as more than a vessel.” For a moment they ate in silence. Then, “Will you come with me to the Samhain meeting?”

“Yes. Moreover… I have… some interested parties.” When Aeleus’s expression did not change, Ienzo added, “They do not know  _ who _ I am exactly. But these are also magic users. They  _ sense _ me. And Demyx.”

“I should like to finally meet him.” He twirled his fork idly. 

“I don’t think of them mean any ill will. And apparently I’ve met Kairi. Though I do not remember. I never thought I would be an unreliable narrator.” Ienzo shook his head. 

“She was only four when she met  _ you _ \--I’m surprised she remembers as well. But given her magic… I’m not surprised.”

“What is her line?”

“It has to do with the heart, and memory. Her power comes from within, unlike yours, which connects you to the magic of the earth."

“...Must be part of why she has a normal hair color.” Ienzo sighed. 

“Indeed. Ansem was fascinated by it, naturally. His own heart always  _ was _ with the sciences, not… petty bureaucracy.”

“As was yours, if I recall correctly.”

“And now I use that knowledge to undermine Xehanort.”

“If my parents had not passed, I wonder where you might have gone,” Ienzo murmured. “All of you.” This he did not remember at all; their deaths, comparatively speaking, had been mundane. A car accident, of all the things, and Ienzo’s mother had been too incapacitated to use her magic to save them. 

“I doubt that would’ve stopped all that came next. Dwelling on it will only cause you pain.” 

“...I know.”

Aeleus scooped up the last remaining bits of egg. “When we go… would be best if you wore a hat. Moreover, we should split up.”

“Then what should I tell Riku and Kairi?”

“There’s an abandoned mansion in the woods. Tell them to meet us there shortly before nightfall.”

He nodded. “Right. I’ll have Demyx meet me here.”

“Do you know if the boy has any combat experience?”

Ienzo thought of the afternoon with the Heartless. “I highly doubt it.”

Aeleus sighed. “Very well.”

The rest of the day, Ienzo waited with an anxious excitement for time to pass. His coursework provided little distraction, even though Eraqus had given him an independent research project. He dressed comfortably, but anonymously, and headed down into the basement.

The previous owner or tenant must’ve had plans to finish the space; there was drywall covering the cinderblock walls, but the floor had yet to be insulated. Considering their utter lack of possessions, it was mostly open, empty space other than the water heater. It had a damp, musty smell to it. Ienzo cast an additional ward on the door and sat on the blanket he’d brought down.

He took a deep breath in through his nose, letting himself feel it spread down to his lungs. He tried to slowly wake the magic, but it was a hungry thing, and rose immediately to his skin. Hence, why he’d wanted to do this down here. He kept breathing, trying to keep his thoughts orderly, calm. He could sense Aeleus moving around in his bedroom upstairs; Even was in the study, writing. Once he thought he was sufficiently centered enough, he stood.

When Ienzo was younger, the magic was more volatile, exploding out of him whenever he had a sudden wave of feeling. Sometimes this had a positive or neutral effect; making plants explode into growth, or suddenly having lights fly out of his hands. Others… not so much. Once a temper tantrum had knocked all of the books off of Ansem’s shelves in his study. Controlling it had taken time; and considering how he’d grown up, he’d had a  _ lot _ of time getting to know his own power. He could make people see things, hear things. Elemental spells came with ease, as well as healing spells. If not for his physical body, his power would be almost limitless.

Ienzo understood why Xehanort wanted him so badly. Ienzo could be a weapon. Else… a threat to be eliminated. 

With the magic humming freshly and readily under his skin, he generated some fake Heartless for himself to fight, tossing his own emotions at them to make them unpredictable in this fight--his embarrassment, his shame, his disappointment. This settled… he struck out at them with a sort of fury, the blades of the magic sharper, their color more intense than he remembered. Was it possible that Demyx was not only masking him, but making his power  _ stronger _ ?

All the fakes gone, Ienzo was breathing hard, and was sweaty. He noticed that the soreness in his hips was gone; the magic had healed it away. He was just wondering if it were worth taking another shower when his phone buzzed. 

_ I’m here. _ Demyx.

They hadn’t talked too much since their failed attempt at sex, not that it had been long. Ienzo wasn’t fully sure what to say, but he did want to embrace him. He dismantled the ward and climbed back up the stairs. “What on earth were you  _ doing _ down there?” Even asked, pouring himself what Ienzo was sure was his dozenth cup of coffee.

“Keeping myself limber--the way you tell me to.”

Even just rolled his eyes.

“Demyx is here. Be nice.” He crossed through the kitchen to the front door and hurriedly brushed some of the dust off of his pants. Ienzo heard rain pattering outside; it must’ve started recently. He opened the door.

“Lovely weather, huh,” Demyx said lamely, lowering the hood of his jacket. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

A beat.

“How are you… doing?” he asked.

“Alright, I suppose. Yourself?”

“...Okay. Dunno if I should be nervous for this or not.”

Ienzo ushered him in. The clothes he was wearing were much darker than normal. “All you have to do is look pretty and be near me.”

A sigh. “Yeah. I know. Adventure, and all that.”

Ienzo smiled a little. He leaned up to kiss him once. “One of my guardians will be going with us.”

Even poked his head into the room. 

“Good to see you again. Even, right?”

Even frowned a little. “You’re--” He put a hand to his head. “I completely forgot that  _ ruffian _ we met that afternoon had a name.”

“...And not exactly a common one,” Demyx said. “That  _ ruffian _ is right here.”

A faint blush rose in his face. “You’d better take care of him,” he said.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s my whole thing.” A shrug.

“I think we’ll survive,” Ienzo added. 

Even acted like he hadn’t heard him. “You  _ do _ realize how important his life is?”

“Do I realize. I was given  _ this _ , wasn’t it?” He pulled out the pendant. “Look, man. This is the only thing I  _ can _ do right, so let me.”

Aeleus came down the stairs then. Ienzo didn’t know what he’d expected; Demyx’s free-flowing nature was bound to clash with Even’s anal-retentiveness. “Are you ready to go, Ienzo?” he asked. 

“...Quite. Come on then, Demyx.” Ienzo slid his hand into his. 

The three of them headed out into the rain. It was a light fall rain, bringing with it freshness and the salt of the sea. Demyx lifted his head slightly, letting it kiss his face. “Rain always makes me miss home,” he murmured. 

“I know you are a… seeker,” Aeleus said. “Where does your line originate?”

“Destiny Islands.” The street shone faintly in the rain, especially as the sun set in earnest. Unprompted, Demyx added, “we… were what you’d call sirens. I didn’t even walk on two legs until I was ten. Normally we can shift at will. Normally.”

Demyx hardly ever talked about his past with Ienzo, even since some of his memories returned; he normally focused on more lighthearted minutiae of their days. 

Aeleus’s curiosity broke his usual quiet. “What was that like?”

“ _ Really _ weird. Everything just seemed so  _ dry _ , and my skin was so  _ itchy _ . I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The doctor just said it was trauma.”

“Because you washed up on the beach?” Ienzo asked.

“Yeah,” he said, and his eyes had gone distant. “All of a sudden it felt like… something was missing. That part of me… was just gone.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Truly.”

“Have you tried, since then?” Aeleus asked.

He nodded. “No go. Almost drowned myself a few times, trying.” With a laugh, but it lacked humor. 

It was a miracle he didn’t resent Ienzo, he thought. Then, given their bond, was that possible? He didn’t want Demyx to hate him. “I have magic,” he said quietly. “Maybe I can fix that.”

Ienzo could see he was trying to bite back the hope. “You think?”

“What’s the point of having this power, if I can’t do anything with it? I will try. For you.”

“Power should always be used to help others,” Aeleus said.

“Is there anything else you remembered?” Ienzo asked in a low voice.

“Mostly just… stuff with my parents,” he admitted. “Just normal… stuff. Are we almost there?”

Ienzo did not push it farther.

The trees of the woods only made the rain louder, the sunset still darker. Aeleus’s flashlight soon became one of their only points of light in this darkness. Demyx squeezed his hand a little harder. 

“Afraid of the dark?” Ienzo asked, only partially teasing.

“Nope,” Demyx said, but it wasn’t at all convincing.

The path crossed over with an old cobble road that must’ve been in use when the mansion was active, and eventually opened up into a clearing. The building must’ve once been beautiful, though now it was crumbling and derelict; its turrets had peeling shingles, its wide front windows were filthy and cracked, and the stained glass in its small clocktower had pieces missing. The black iron gates had been opened, leading to a garden with overgrown bushes and marble arches that were falling apart. Ienzo could just barely see Sora, Kairi, and Riku by the front door.

“You made it!” Demyx said cheerfully. 

“And now my favorite boots are covered in mud,” Kairi added, with a sigh. “Oh well.”

Aeleus pushed open the double doors. Someone had clearly been through; candles had been lit in the rusty candelabras, and there were footprints in the dirt leading to another room. They stumbled over broken bits of inlaid parquet.

“You guys sure this isn’t a trap?” Sora asked. “Seems kinda creepy to me.”

“It is very safe,” Aeleus said. 

“I think between us we can handle a Heartless or two. What, you chicken?” Riku asked.

He flushed. “Am not!”

They followed this trail of candles into a small study which  _ seemed _ normal until Ienzo noticed the trap floor; only Aeleus’s quick hand stopped Demyx falling down the hidden set of stairs. 

“Ever graceful,” Riku muttered.

“Shut  _ up _ .” 

But the steps were strange; jarringly metal and modern, and very  _ clean _ . Sconces shone dimly in the metallic darkness.

“Let me go first,” Aeleus said. “Just to make sure.” He disappeared into the other room. After a pronounced silence, where they all looked at each other, Aeleus added in an odd voice, “Ienzo? Can you come through--just you?”

“Wait,” Demyx said.

“I trust Aeleus,” Ienzo reassured him quickly. “There must be a reason.”

Ienzo took a few steps… and realized why very quickly. With his magic so close to the surface, he could sense Aeleus’s energy… and the energy of one other.

He thought his knees might give out, and he took another few halting steps. “Father.” It sounded more like a bleat, a cry, then a word. “Father.”

Ansem had aged considerably in the past twelve years. His blond hair, once well-kept, was longer, and there were more wrinkles around his eyes than Ienzo remembered, but the  _ warmth _ in those eyes was still the same. “Well met, little Ienzo.”

He couldn’t help it. He all but threw himself into Ansem’s arms. Tears he didn’t realize he’d been holding in were suddenly streaming out of his eyes. It shouldn’t hurt this much to see him again. He shouldn’t smell  _ exactly _ the same, like oranges and coffee. 

“I wish I could’ve seen you sooner, child. I know.” He could hear the tears in Ansem’s voice as well. “You’re so tall.”

It took Ienzo longer than was dignified to stem the flow of tears. Finally he did, and pulled away from Ansem at least enough to look him in the eye.

“Look at you,” he said softly. “I can hardly believe it.”

He swiped at his eyes. Slowly, he took off his hat, letting his hair fall back into his normal style.

“You look  _ so _ like your father.”

“Where have you… been?” Ienzo asked slowly. 

“In hiding. Much like you. But I have been… trying to devise a way for us to be together again. That starts here, with this resistance.”

“You’re its leader?”

Ansem laughed; Ienzo realized he’d forgotten what it sounded like. “Heavens, no. I’m not certain one could say we  _ have _ a leader. Even so… I wish for you to have a good life, Ienzo, and for our people to be safe. This is one of the ways to do so.”

“Are you… disappointed in me, then?”

“Why ever would I be?”

Ienzo found it hard to meet his eyes. “Risking myself… for whatever might come from this?”

“Not at all. Your determination to make change is admirable.”

A beat of silence. Ienzo did not know what else to say. “I am… tired of waiting around,” he said. “How can I simply  _ go to school _ while the darkness advances? While Xehanort wreaks… what kind of hell?”

His expression darkened. “Yes… I believe they were going to speak on that tonight.”

“...Quite.” He paused. “Moreover…” He reached into the collar of his shirt and pulled out the pendant.

“Oh…” Ansem sighed. “Child, you must understand… they promised you protection. I did not know--”

“It came with a body? Even said the same.” He ran his fingers along the glass. “He… is here with me.”

“That is a comfort. And I understand… you may be resentful. Naturally so.”

“My life has been without choice. Of course I want to do something now.”

A small smile. “Of course.”

“Would you want to meet him?” Ienzo asked. 

“...Alright.”

Ienzo felt oddly numb as he climbed the stairs. The others were waiting patiently; Kairi was braiding Riku’s long hair as they watched something on Sora’s phone. Demyx, on the other hand, had an anxious, pinched look on his face. “Are you okay?” he asked instantly. “You look like you’ve been…” He reached out to touch Ienzo’s face.

“Come with me.” He took Demyx’s hand and led him down into that metal room. 

Seeing Ansem, he gasped. “Oh--uh--your majesty--” He bowed a little. 

“None of that,” Ansem said. “My name is Ansem. A king in exile is no king, is he?”

Demyx’s smile was very nervous. “This is why you were upset.”

Aeleus, who had been tactfully silent, finally said, “I didn’t want to say something sooner… lest it didn’t pan out.”

“Thank you, Aeleus. I know this was difficult.”

“Sorry--I’m just shook,” Demyx said. He pressed a hand to his forehead. “I mean, I knew you were the prince and all, but like--”

“...The prince?” another voice said from the stairs. Riku crossed his arms. “Sorry to crash the party, your majesty.”

They would’ve found out at the meeting, but Ienzo felt the chagrin anyway. Ansem sighed. 

“Oh my gods!” Sora’s hands snapped to his mouth. “You mean this whole time you’ve been--”

“I kinda knew,” Kairi said, with a shrug.

“You knew and you didn’t say anything?”

Ienzo’s blush deepened. “Yes, yes, king, prince. We’ve got it.”

Sora frowned. “But if you’re the prince--where’s the princess?”

Ienzo cocked his head a little.

Comprehension dawned on him. “Oh! Sorry, I--”

“It’s okay. And I presume you know you must all carry this secret with you.”

Riku chuckled a little. “Why wouldn’t I? Things just got interesting. Though I’m surprised you got  _ this _ one to keep a secret.” He thumped Demyx on the shoulder.

“Ow! Hey--”

Ansem laughed too. “These are the reinforcements Aeleus told me of, then.”

Ienzo shook his head. “Quite.”

He approached Kairi. “It is good to see you’re well. And your parents?”

“They’re good too.”

“We should head in,” Aeleus said. “It’s getting late.”

The next room was yet more metal, glowing panels on the floor adding extra light. A handful of people were already there; a woman about their age with a long brown braid, a young man with a scar across his face, a middle-aged blond man, and of all people--

“ _ Yuffie _ ?” Demyx asked.

“Guys! Hey!” She was cross-legged on the floor. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“ _ Resisting _ . Duh.” She rolled her eyes.

“But how long have you--”

Her cheer faded a little. “Since my dad died last year,” she murmured. “I kinda took it up for him.”

Yet more voices from the doorway. “Sorry we’re late,” a woman said. “Believe it or not--the train was delayed.” She had a bright blue bob. With her was Even, carrying papers and looking pissy. 

There were a lot of people in this small room now. Ienzo knew that soon the air would probably start feeling stuffy. He had so many questions--for them, for Ansem, about this place, about Xehanort, about… everything. All of these magical fields brushed up against his, making him anxious.

Demyx rubbed his arm. “Power, huh,” he muttered. “Yuffie. Who would’ve thought.”

“Can we come to order, please?” the scar-faced man asked tiredly. “Lot of new faces today. I was asked not to point out the obvious about our special guest, so I won’t. Why don’t we go around and introduce ourselves?”

They did. Ienzo learned the blue-haired woman was Aqua, their longtime contact; she gave him a little wink. 

“Why are we in this creepy basement?” Sora asked.

“Lotta power in this room,” Riku told him. “Being underground helps keep it from being too obvious. The metal does too.”

“The girls are keeping watch upstairs,” the woman with the braid, Aerith, added. “They’ll let me know if they sense anything.”

The circle had reached him. Demyx gave his hand a small squeeze. Ienzo looked towards Ansem, who nodded once. Not only was he outing himself as royalty, but he was also quite literally  _ outing _ himself.

_ Get over it, _ he thought to himself. These people all knew some level of persecution; would they truly care about gender? “My name is Ienzo,” he said in a low voice. “But more likely… you know me as Ansem’s adopted child… _____.” 

He kept his eyes on the floor as the revelation filled the space, a mixture of surprise and smug knowledge in equal parts. He saw Even’s lips flatten into a thin line, his disapproval clear. But he did not protest. 

“I hope I may be of use to you. My power. I am tired of hiding and taking advantage of your good grace. Part of this havoc is because of me. I can’t lie back and take it anymore.”

The blond man laughed. “Well, we’re lucky today, ain’t we,” he said around the toothpick in his mouth. “Not one, but three bluebloods. I see you there, Miss Kairi.”

She blushed.

“All that power means something,” Aqua added. “Given Ienzo’s reach… if you’re truly willing to do this…”

“A trump card to turn the tide?” Leon asked. “That would be nice, wouldn’t it?”

“I am willing.”

“It might give people hope, to know you’re still alive,” Aqua said. “If not the public… than the very least the other members.”

“That this fighting isn’t for nothing?” Ienzo sighed. “I hope so. Tell me everything. Please.”

Ansem had said there was no leader; but the man named Leon seemed to be most comfortable doing the talking. He outlined the situation for Ienzo; Xehanort so far was determined to take the nation city-state by city-state, spreading his darkness across the nation from one coast to the other. He seemed to have created a second front as well, moving down towards them from the north. Hearing the casualty reports was… sobering.

“Why is nobody reporting this at all?” Ienzo asked. 

“The masses would panic,” Aerith said. “Not to mention… where would they  _ go _ ? Twilight Town is safest at the moment.”

“And the governments are just lying like dogs?”

“It seems… to a degree… Xehanort is willing to see  _ some _ kind of reason,” Leon added, his lip curling. “If a city surrenders to him… he  _ does _ apparently offer some kind of protection to the civilians.”

“The trolley problem,” Riku muttered. “Better a few die than all.”

“Quite,” Aeleus said gravely. “Moreover… what of these Heartless? They’ve been breaking through the city wards, and apparently beginning to show some kind of sentience.”

Aqua touched Even on the shoulder; he nodded once. “I’ve been looking into that,” he said. “I’m afraid… the truth is not for the faint of heart.” Ienzo cocked his head; Even scowled. “What? Child, you don’t think I sit around all day doing  _ nothing _ but wait for you to come home?”

Yuffie tittered. Ienzo’s face heated. 

Even gathered himself; his face lost all expression. “Heartless are supposed to be merely shadows, but the information I’ve been gathering… is worrying, to say the least.” He shuffled through some of his papers. “There have been… disappearances, if you will, in these areas noted to have higher than normal Heartless populations. At first, it seemed as though these individuals were simply being consumed, as Heartless are wont to do, but… these Heartless are chatty. They mention something about their hearts, about hearts pulled from bodies… and knowing what I know about a person’s heart and the way it is expressed through the aura… My working hypothesis is that these Heartless are being created from humans. Though how… I’ve yet to determine. Darkness can break physics, but so far all the casualties from Heartless have just been… bodies. I’ll need to study further.”

There was just silence for a long time. Ienzo looked at his palms. That Heartless he’d killed before he’d run into Dilan had been a person… he’d killed someone. A hot rush of nausea nearly brought tears to his eyes.

_ But they were suffering, _ he thought quickly. Then,  _ could I have helped them become human again? _

Even let out a long breath. “Moreover… there’s some circumstantial evidence that Xehanort… is using some of my own personal research to forward his agenda.” He grit his teeth. “ _ That  _ I cannot let go of.”

“What kind of research?” Leon asked.

“I was looking into ways to create artificial bodies… to help those who have lost physical functioning. It was all  _ theory _ , and yet… Cid found some concerning surveillance footage in Radiant Garden proper.”

“The replicas…” Ansem murmured. “You don’t think--”

“I’ve no idea what he would need bodies  _ for _ , nor do I know how he’d animate them.” Even was really getting agitated now. 

“Someone has to find out,” Aqua said. “I could investigate and report back.”

“And be safe about it,” Leon said. “If this is possible… we need to know.”

There was a pronounced silence. “Could I do something with my power?” Ienzo asked.

“No,” Even and Ansem said at the same time; Even locked eyes with the king once, his expression growing pained for a moment before smoothing to neutral. “No, it’s simply too dangerous for you,” Even finished. “They’d sense you in a heartbeat.”

“Even if I went with him?” Demyx asked, the fear in his voice audible.

“It’s not worth the risk.”

Ienzo’s fists clenched in his lap. “So what can I do,” he said softly. 

Leon’s blue eyes (a cool blue, a normal blue) met his. “I’m wondering…” He began, drumming his fingers on his notebook. “How does your power… work with electronics?”

“I’ve no idea,” Ienzo said honestly, his curiosity piqued.

“Cid,” Leon said, still holding Ienzo’s gaze. “See what you can come up with about the network.”

“Shit, now  _ that’s _ interesting,” Cid said. “Right on.”

“So should I connect to this network,” Ienzo said. “What then?”

“Think that depends on the true extent of your power. But potentially… well. Hope I haven’t gotten too rusty at hacking.”

Something to hold onto. “Right.”

The meeting ended not long after that. Ienzo was reeling--between the information about the Heartless, and seeing Ansem again, he had no idea how he was supposed to feel. The others broke off, to talk to Leon and see how they might be of use; Demyx squeezed his hand. “Guess I married up,” he murmured. 

Ienzo smiled wearily. He could see across the room Even and Ansem in conversation, their expressions sharp, serious. After a moment, Ansem reached out to touch his arm. “Go on,” Ansem mouthed towards Ienzo. “I’ll see you soon.”

Though Ienzo was loath to listen, he also knew that Even and Ansem deserved a proper reunion as well. He let Demyx guide him out of that stuffy room, back up the stairs, and out of the mansion. It was fully night now. “Samhain,” Ienzo murmured. “I wonder if we’ll see any spirits along the way.”

Demyx shuddered. “I dunno. Not sure I want to find out.”

He exhaled. “You’re right--it’s after dark. We should go home.”

They headed back towards the forest. The rain was heavier now, the darkness thicker; Ienzo lit a small orb in his hand to guide them back onto the path. Demyx shuddered.

“It’s alright, if you’re scared of the dark,” Ienzo said. “Fine, especially now.” 

“Some protector I am. Can’t even stand the dark.”

There was a whisper behind them, a crunch; Ienzo turned. “Must be one of the others.”

“Are you… sure?”

“Take a breath. It’s okay.” Still, Ienzo moved a little faster. The whispering got louder. 

“I don’t know,” Demyx said, with a trace of panic. 

“We’re nearly back on the street. They’ll be repelled by the light.”

The whispering surrounded them, a heavy smell of smoke, making the light in Ienzo’s palm dim. Ienzo let the magic wake further, and found to his shock there were more Heartless than he thought. 

“I can… I can take them. Don’t worry.” But Ienzo had never seen this many Heartless at once; he had no idea why he hadn’t sensed them before.

There was a jammer.

“Saїx,” Ienzo whispered. “Oh--Ansem.”

“The others can protect him.  _ We _ need to get out of here.”

“Stay near me. I’m going to… take care of them.”  _ Heartless being made from people. _

Ienzo… hesitated.

It was this hesitation they sensed, and they descended onto them, snuffing out his light entirely, shadows screaming.

_ Find boy find boy _

_ Help me _

_ Who’s the other one? _

_ It’s hurting hurting hurting _

_ Make it stop. Make it stop. _

_ Where’s my wife? _

“Ienzo, maybe you should do something?”

It felt like something was tugging at his magic, making him feel weird, weak, numb--

“Ienzo!” A more desperate cry.

“I can’t--I feel--” He tried to conjure magic with his palms, but it was hard to breathe.

“ _ Ienzo _ .”

A burst of light, a smell of the sea, and suddenly Ienzo was even wetter than before, and on the ground. Demyx tapped his face; he was doubled, dizzy, his phone flashlight throwing his face into sharp relief. “Demyx? What…” He struggled to sit up.

“I… I did magic, I don’t know how--they’re gone. The ones I didn’t kill I ran away.”

Ienzo tried to gather his strength. The magic seemed to be returning, so slowly… “I smell… vomit.”

“That was… me. I’m sorry. Just--thinking about what Even was saying--”

“Killing people,” he murmured.

“But they’re  _ not _ people, they were screaming in pain, I heard it--”

“You did the right thing,” he said. 

Demyx helped him up. “It was… water,” he said breathlessly. “Water, and… and light, I--I didn’t even know I could--”

“A latent power.”

“Triggered by you,” he mumbled. 

“Maybe you…  _ can _ get your powers back.”

“We need to get home,” Demyx said. “I… I don’t like the look of this place.”

“I hope we were the only ones attacked,” Ienzo muttered. He had to lean on Demyx heavily. “My fathers…” He pulled out his cell phone to text them. The bright screen sent a finger of pain through his right eye, and suddenly everything went black.


	12. The Cottage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To escape prying eyes, Ienzo and Demyx go to the seashore to train Demyx's new power.

Something cool tapped Ienzo’s face. He groaned.

“Sorry, child.” Even’s voice. “Go back to sleep.”

“Even?” He was nauseous. “I feel…”

“Ill? There’s a bin right here.” He held back Ienzo’s bangs as he was sick and handed him a glass of water. 

“What… what happened?” Ienzo asked. He rinsed out his mouth and spat. He felt very odd; his muscles trembly, weak.

“A touch of darkness. You should be alright. It seems that coward finally intervened.”

“He’s not a coward,” Ienzo mumbled. “He saved me. Where--”

“Asleep on the couch. He didn’t want to go home until he knew you were okay.” A sigh.

Ienzo sat up slowly. His head was pounding. “I… heard them. Almost as though in my mind. Asking where their wives were… and to help them. You were right, Even.”

Even’s brows furrowed. “For once, I hoped I wasn’t. But Ienzo… if they were turned to shadow, the only way to truly save them… was to give them that small mercy of death. They’re at peace now.”

“I still feel like I’ve killed someone.”

“I know you must. So did Demyx.”

“Tell me you consoled him at least a little bit.” 

“...I believe Aeleus did. I was tending to you. Seeing how your body was impacted. Thankfully… you are fine. The shakiness should pass.”

Ienzo tried to stand. Even pushed him back down.

“You need to rest.”

“I want to--see him.”

“Goodness, Ienzo, if it matters that much, I’ll send him up here.” A pause, then another tired sigh. “Things are… settled, then?”

“Yes.” A million questions were bursting in him dizzily. “Where’s my father?”

“He is safe. He’s with Dilan.”

“Demyx has… magic.”

“No doubt brought out when you were in danger.” He set the sick aside. “I suppose we should actually teach the fool to use it.”

“Saïx was there. I’m almost positive he was at least watching the mansion. I should’ve sensed that many Heartless sooner--and before I fainted, my eye hurt.”

Even’s eyebrows shot up. “I… I see. But how could he track you, with--”

“The old fashioned way, I suppose. Or whatever enabled him to use his powers without a full moon.”

“The replicas…” Even muttered. “I wonder if--”

“How would they have put him in another body? And what difference would it have made?”

“I’ve no idea--but I’m certain Xehanort would have mutated my research to suit his own needs.” He tapped his fingers together. “I may have a plan… to get you away from the city while things are so hot… and train the fool at the same time.”

“Forever?”

“I don’t think so--even with Saïx, this is still one of the safest places for you.” He stood and, unexpectedly, placed a kiss on Ienzo’s brow--that was how he knew Even was worried. “Try to get some rest, okay?”

Ienzo was trying to find the energy to get up and go brush his teeth when the door cracked open. “How are you doing?” Demyx asked in a rush. “I was so--”

“I’m a little weak, but I’ll be alright. You saved me.”

He didn’t look proud; his eyes darkened. “I guess.”

Ienzo patted the bed next to him. Demyx sat down. He still smelled like rain from the night before. “You still feel guilty, don’t you?”

He looked down at his lap; tears glittered in his eyes. “How can I not?” he asked. “Those were…  _ people _ . With memories and stories and songs, and I--killed them.”

Ienzo wrapped his arms loosely around him. “Even was telling me… that, well, if they were so taken by the darkness, only death could help them find some kind of peace. We need to try and internalize that. We  _ helped _ them, we didn’t kill them.”

He took a shaky breath. “Aeleus told me that too, but…”

“I know. I know it’s hard.” Ienzo felt another rush of guilt, stronger; he was the reason Demyx was suffering like this. “How do you feel… otherwise?”

He swiped at his eyes. “Well… I mean… it’s so weird that I have these powers. Like all of a sudden I could just take the rain around us and make it  _ do _ things.”

“It makes sense that it’s water, considering where you came from. Elemental magic can be some of the most powerful. Even wants you to train it--and you should. When I first started manifesting my own abilities, not being able to control it could cause… a lot of inconvenience.” Ienzo sighed. “I’m sorry, Demyx. Truly I am. If not for me none of this would have happened to you.”

Demyx touched his pendant. “I would’ve felt empty forever,” he murmured. “The darkness is still coming, Ienzo. That wouldn’t have changed.”

“I know,” Ienzo said. “I’m still sorry.”

* * *

Aerith had an ingenious solution to their problem. She had a cottage outside the city limits, along the coast; not only would they be away from Saïx’s prying eyes (they hoped), but Demyx could train in relative peace. Even tried to wrangle his way into going with them, but Aeleus was able to convince him that he was still needed here, to do his research on Heartless. For this, Ienzo was grateful. 

“This isn’t some  _ romantic _ getaway,” Even snapped. “It’s for your power--for your  _ safety _ . You better not  _ touch _ him.” He glared at Demyx.

“Whoa. Easy, alright?” 

Aeleus drove them there. “I’m surprised Even relented at all,” he said. “He must have faith in your capacity to teach.”

“Well, I taught myself most of what I know,” Ienzo said. “I think that can apply. Besides… you’re right. He’s better off doing his research in the city. Likely more Heartless.”

Demyx hummed softly, staring out the window. Dilan let them through the city limits. (If he wasn’t with Ansem,  _ where was Ansem? _ ) “Everything’s so fucking  _ bright _ ,” he said.

It was; Ienzo had not realized how accustomed he’d become to the rosy tint in the sky. Aeleus did not comment, but he did put on a pair of sunglasses. “Has it been a long while since you left the city?” Ienzo asked.

“Come to think of it--yeah, it is. The sky is so  _ blue _ .”

Aeleus chuckled. 

As they continued up the coast, the land grew greener, wilder, hills rolling gently. Demyx watched it all raptly, and Ienzo watched  _ him _ enjoying it. A few hours later, they turned off the deserted road onto a dirt path. 

The cottage  _ was _ small, and clearly very old; its stone was etched with erosion, the shingles mismatched. Ienzo could feel the powerful ward around the place, and saw runes covertly etched along the few trees surrounding the property. A small garden was still overflowing with greenery, spells keeping the plants happy and warm. The sea smelled slightly different here, a little more metallic; then again, it  _ was _ easing into November. Aerith was waiting patiently by her own car. 

“This place is way cute,” Demyx said.

“Thanks. It was my mom’s.” She gazed toward it with affection. “I usually stay here all summer--sometimes longer.”

“I can’t thank you enough,” Ienzo added. “Really.”

“Well, it  _ is _ only a few days. And I should really be winterizing it anyway.” She shrugged. “The enchantments around it should keep you safe enough, and if they don’t, should warn you if someone’s coming.”

He frowned. “You’re not staying?”

She shook her head. “Normally, I would, but I have… affairs to attend to.” She winked. “But anyway, make yourselves comfortable. There’s a washing machine in the mudroom. Oh, and the hot water runs out quickly, so don’t take too long in the shower.” She handed Aeleus the key. “Don’t have too much fun!” She got in her car and drove off.

They carried in their few bags, their groceries. The place was cramped, and laid out oddly, but frankly it was adorable; small paintings hung on the walls, and while the furniture was mismatched, it was done in an aesthetically pleasing way. Demyx touched the small, old record player. The appliances were old, too, many of them the color of Robin’s eggs, and the sink in the kitchen was trough-style. A rag rug covered part of the worn hardwood floors. All over the place were more flowers; ivy, lilies, calendula, the whole place full of color. 

There were only two small bedrooms upstairs, along with a pull-out couch in the living room. “I don’t mind crashing here,” Demyx said, settling on it. “I can fall asleep anywhere.”

Aeleus shook his head. “I should be down here, in case there are intruders. It’s alright.”

He shrugged. “If you say so.”

Both of the bedrooms were small, but they both had ocean views. The double-beds were neatly made with linen that smelled very clean. Aerith had clearly spent some time getting the place ready for them, making Ienzo feel another small wave of guilt. Ienzo touched the pink checkered blanket on the room he’d claimed. He suspected this was Aerith’s room; it felt vaguely like her magic. The room angled into a point; here was a desk and a bookshelf full of all sorts of titles. Romance novels, cookbooks, self-defense instructions, medical texts. Ienzo realized that if he knew her better, they'd be friends.

This settled, he took Demyx down along the beach.

It was colder here, windier, the beach rockier. They sat on towels and listened to the sea. “What I normally do is try to center myself,” Ienzo said.

“Deep breathing?” Demyx asked.

“Whatever would calm you.”

Demyx shut his eyes. After a long moment, he said, “the sea… helps.”

“Good.” He allowed him another few moments, then added, “When you’re calm, imagine… you’re opening a box and taking out something you really love.”

He heard Demyx gasp softly; Ienzo could feel him, his energy. “It’s warm.”

“Yes. Is it easy, or hard to hold onto?”

“Pretty easy.” 

A good sign. His passive abilities must have something to do with that. “Good. That’s good.” He thought of when he’d shaped his own elemental magic. “Do you feel the energy in the earth below you?”

“Kind of--I--” His brows furrowed. “Moreso--the water next to me.”

“Imagine picking it up. Carrying it. However would be easiest.”

“Um… okay.” The tides seemed loud now. Ienzo looked over; The surf was definitely a little more violent than before. 

“Keep breathing. Deeply. We’re safe here.”

The water retreated a little. “Is it supposed to be heavy?”

“That’s you expending your own energy. Pull it towards you. Carefully.” He watched the water. Part of the shoreline crept towards them, until it was nearly touching the edge of Ienzo’s towel. “Open your eyes, Demyx.”

He did. He saw the seawater nearly touching them and gasped; at his surprise, the water surged forward more, higher, and slapped them both. It was like ice, soaking Ienzo through. “Shit, I--I’m sorry, I--”

He laughed a little. “Very good. Now let’s go get changed.”

Back inside, they both dried off and put on warmer clothes. Aeleus was nowhere to be found; he left them a note saying he was patrolling the perimeter and would not be back for some time. “Ugh, why couldn’t I get my powers in, like, the summer.” Demyx shivered somewhat theatrically. He sat on his bed. This room was more plainly decorated than the other; its wallpaper was light blue stripes, the comforter a soft, pale yellow. He popped open a small instrument case and took out a ukulele. “Was kind of cramped in the car for my sitar.”

Ienzo sat down next to him. Even in a sweater, he thought he could still feel the cold water. “You should be proud of yourself. You came pretty far in a few hours.”

Demyx strummed a few chords idly. “Did I? I mean. I got us drenched.”

“Only because you reacted emotionally. We can work on that tomorrow, when we have all day.”

The song Demyx began playing was mournful, delicate. 

“Is that how you feel?”

“No,” he said. “It’s how the ocean feels today. I sensed it, I think.”

“It’s great that you could.”

He hummed distractedly. For a few minutes Ienzo just listened to him play. The melody was surprisingly complex, making the fine hairs on Ienzo’s arms rise. For the first time he completely understood that Demyx was a  _ siren. _ Too soon, it stopped.

“Why’d you--”

Demyx set the ukulele aside. “You’re shivering,” he said. “Come here.” He pulled Ienzo into his arms and they eased back against the bed; Demyx tugged the comforter up over them.

“It smells different,” he remarked.

“What does?”

“The bed. I’m used to yours.” The warmth helped greatly. 

“It’s hard for you to sleep, isn’t it?”

“It can be, yes. I… think too much.”

“Are you thinking now?”

“Not really. Not quite.” He could hear the beat of Demyx’s heart, steady and vital. Slowly, he looked up. Demyx leaned down and kissed him.

They hadn’t done much else than kiss chastely since that initial attempt; very quickly Ienzo realized this was different, and moreover, that he’d  _ missed _ it quite dearly. Demyx threaded his hands through his still-wet hair and slid his tongue into his mouth. No; now Ienzo was no longer cold at all. He slid his hands down Demyx’s back, pulling away his sweater to feel at skin. Demyx moaned a little and eased him down onto the bed.

For a long while they just kissed and touched, a sort of reacquaintance. Demyx traced small circles along Ienzo’s sides, gently working his shirt off. He kissed at the bare skin. Ienzo’s clit began to throb, faintly, and then less faintly when he could feel Demyx’s hard dick pressing against his thigh. He reached to take off Demyx’s shirt as well and slid his hands over his ass, smooth muscle. “Ienzo, I--”

“What?” he asked.

The color was bright in his face. “Aeleus… he’ll be gone a while, right?” 

“That’s what he said.” 

He took a quick breath. He got off of Ienzo and shut the door. Seeing him in the fading light of day made Ienzo’s heart beat a little faster. 

“Take your pants off,” he said.

“...What?”

“Did I stutter?”

Something sparked in his eyes. He did as Ienzo said and crawled back under the covers. Without another word, he slid off Ienzo’s, taking the underwear with them. Ienzo pulled him close, kissing his throat, his collarbones, sliding his hand down along Demyx’s side to his dick. The small sound he made only turned Ienzo on more. He felt the scratch of fingers along his inner thigh and gasped out loud. Ienzo tugged at Demyx’s underwear, and while it was awkward the way they were tangled to remove them, they managed it at last. Demyx laughed a little.

Ienzo took his dick into his hand, gratifying at the way it hardened more. He moved slowly, gently.

“You’re killing me,” he muttered. He brought his palm up between his legs, quickly finding the clit, rolling his thumb along it in a way that was equally teasing. Ienzo kissed him harder, pressing against his hand, so Demyx stroked him a little more earnestly, sliding a finger into him. “You’re really wet.” 

“Demyx?”

“What?”

“Can we try again?”

This seemed to break his haze. The question startled Ienzo as well. “Are you… sure? I mean, it was painful for you last time--”

“I don’t think it will be any more.”

“I didn’t even bring any--”

“It’s alright.” Ienzo pressed his lips against his throat. “You still taste like the ocean.” He ran his tongue along his jaw; Demyx made a sound between a laugh and a groan. “I’ve been taking birth control for close to a month now. It’s plenty safe.”

“You… did that?”

“I like to be prepared.” He brushed his fingers along Demyx’s cheek. 

“If you’re… sure. I… don’t want to hurt you.” He eased another finger inside of Ienzo. Unlike the last time, there was no pain; he was actually at the point where it nearly made him squirm. 

Ienzo opened his legs a little more. He stroked Demyx a few more times; he struggled for breath, his head bowed. He pushed away Ienzo’s hand.

“If we’re going to do this, I want to last for you.” He leaned down and kissed Ienzo’s nipple, teasing it with his tongue, a sensation so overwhelming he thought he might faint. He felt the fingers disappear, too soon. Demyx’s voice dropped. “Tell me if this is too fast, or…” He trailed off and kissed him once more on the mouth. He had to guide it, with his hand, until again Ienzo felt the tip of it against him. 

There was a little anxiety, still. He wanted this to work so badly, to make Demyx feel even half as good as he so often made Ienzo. He pressed into him slowly; to Ienzo’s intense relief, it didn’t hurt at all.

“You’re okay?”

“It’s really okay.”

A smile flitted across his face. Demyx took him a little more, and while Ienzo gasped, it wasn’t from pain. “You feel so good,” he whispered.

“So do you.”

“It’s really working.” A soft laugh. “That’s, um. All of it.”

For a moment Ienzo just let himself adjust. Demyx kissed him again, and while it was a little complicated, Ienzo felt his other hand reach down to stroke his clit. He moaned against Demyx’s shoulder.

“Just tell me what feels good, okay?” He began to move, gently. Ienzo grasped at his shoulders. The gentle push and pull of their bodies was like the tides outside. It took him a minute or so before he was able to fall into a rhythm with him, resting his legs against Demyx’s thighs so he could move more easily.

This was what he’d hoped their first time would feel like, the beauty of their bare skin. His thoughts were losing cohesion. Ienzo pulled him closer. “A little deeper.”

Demyx shifted his weight, his cock sliding out more with each thrust, and Ienzo could feel each little movement  _ so _ distinctly. “Like this?”

A small sound left him. “Maybe faster?”

He took a shaky breath. Demyx’s fingertips were still working Ienzo’s clit, a lush tightening forming in his belly, his thighs. The same hand moved away, up under his back, helping him bring them back together. Ienzo ground his hips a little against Demyx’s and felt his dick quiver a little. Demyx kissed him hard. “That’s so good,” he gasped.

This felt like losing and getting lost. He’d hoped for this time not to hurt; he hadn’t anticipated actual  _ pleasure _ , every part of him just getting more and more sensitive. They were moving against each other with more urgency now, eager and raw, both of them breathing hard; Ienzo could barely open his eyes.

“I… I’m sorry,” Demyx said against his shoulder. “I’m getting really--”

“Me too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Demyx laughed a little, and Ienzo did too. Ienzo was able to kiss him once more before he lost control.

It was so… odd, to fall apart so wholly. It rocked through him, leaching into his magic, and considering Demyx was still inside him he felt every wave of it. “Ienzo,” Demyx moaned, and a moment later he felt a flush of warmth, the slight twitch of Demyx’s dick. He leaned against him more heavily for a moment before he was able to ease out of him. “Are you okay?”

“More than.” He was breathless. Demyx lay down against his chest. “I’d… hoped it would get easier.”

“Me too.” He kissed Ienzo once. “God, that was--”

“I know.” His clit was still tingling. More than anything, he realized, he felt  _ relieved _ ; not just from the sex, but from the anxiety that they wouldn’t be physically compatible. 

“I was… worried.”

“As was I. I think I just… simply wasn’t used to having anything there.”

Another kiss, this time against his shoulder. “Well. I’m happy to take care of that any time.”

Ienzo laughed.


	13. Nest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo and Demyx return from the cottage and life goes back to "normal." Or at least, it does for a little while.

Their few days at Aerith’s cottage, despite the grueling training and the cold weather, were happy. Demyx seemed to be coming along at a rapid clip. Within days, he had better control of his own power than Ienzo had in years.

“To be fair,” Demyx said, “you are a  _ lot _ stronger than I am.”

“...Your own strength is not to be underestimated.” They hadn’t gotten soaked this time, but he was still able to move those waves with a disconcerting ease. 

Demyx looked at his palms. “At least I can finally do something.” The tone of his voice said,  _ at least I have something that’s mine. _

Aeleus was on patrol often, landing only a few hours every time he came back. It almost felt as though Ienzo and Demyx had their own place, the intimacy only deepened by the meals they had together. “Even said not to touch you,” Demyx said. “Oh well.”

Ienzo rolled his eyes. “Even believes himself a champion of my virginity.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in that crap.”

“ _ I _ don’t. He does. Besides. It’s  _ my _ choice, what you get to do to me.”

And they did spend those evenings together, despite the exhaustion… Ienzo learned about his body, what he liked, how they worked together. He found himself infinitely glad for the pills, despite the fact that he had magically stopped his own periods the moment he learned how. 

The last night before they were to return home, they were tangled in each other. It was more comfortable than ever to be naked around him, to touch him. It was all so jarringly  _ natural _ . 

Demyx had lit a candle, making the light in the room soft. A full moon shone silver on the water. He always was so delicate with Ienzo, even in the hottest moments, like he might break. Like he was precious.

Ienzo realized he had stopped caring that their relationship was predetermined. 

Demyx kissed him softly, working down along his collarbone, his breast, his belly. He slid his hand along Ienzo’s clit. Pleasuring him seemed to be one of Demyx’s kinks. He pressed his lips against the soft spot below his belly button. “Hey,” Demyx said softly. “Do you think--”

The question alone just made his clit throb. “What?”

“Could I try… going down on you?”

A hot flush made him dizzy, but still he asked, “Are you sure?”

“I really want to.” He swallowed; his hands were trembling. “I want to learn everything about you.”

“...Yes.” He barely held back the  _ please _ . Demyx returned to him, kissing along his hips, down one thigh, his tongue along the inside positively electric, making Ienzo clutch at the sheets. He felt him kiss the top of it, a quiver shooting through him. 

Gods.

He’d heard stories about how good blowjobs supposedly felt, but he’d never heard anything about what the  _ other _ experience was like. Feeling his lips and tongue against his clit, warmer and more precise than fingers, had him gasping and moaning out loud and doubting his own stamina. “...You’ve done this before,” he forced between his teeth, before another small sound left him. 

Demyx didn’t respond, not with words; his tongue flicked down along the opening, and Ienzo felt a finger slide inside of him. It was all so sweet. Demyx pulled on it a little harder, and Ienzo couldn’t resist it anymore. Demyx still worked him as he came, and even once he was through he kissed the inside of his thigh. 

“Fuck,” Ienzo said softly. 

Demyx laughed a little. “Not bad?”

“I can’t believe you’ve been keeping that from me.”

He tapped Ienzo’s nose. “I can’t do a lot of things right, but  _ that _ I can do.”

Without hesitation, Ienzo reached for his dick. “Tell me how to do this.”

“No,” he said softly, but then, getting sheepish, “I mean, yeah, totally, but I don’t… want that right now.”

“Then what do you want?”

His flush deepened. “Can you get on top of me?”

He blinked. They hadn’t exactly experimented much in terms of positions; everything was still so new and so  _ intense. _ “Yes.”

Demyx settled down against the pillows, partially sitting up. Ienzo straddled him, stroking him slowly, loving the vulnerable look in his eye. It was a little bit awkward, to be able to ease the tip of it inside him, but he was already so wet that it slipped in with ease, overstimulation making him shudder. “It feels… different.”

It did. Ienzo rested his hands against his shoulders. “Tell me what you need from me.” He moved against him, partially in awe how quickly this had become normal. Demyx clutched at his hips. He wasn’t touching Ienzo’s clit, but he was already so sensitive that it wasn’t necessary.

“Just really… really deep.”

He obliged, taking it as far as he could; it was making him dizzy. Demyx’s eyes rolled a little. “Like this?”

“God, yes.”

He kept riding him. This wasn’t even about him, but Ienzo could feel something even stronger building inside of him, something needier, almost terrifying. He thrusted a bit faster against him, hearing Demyx’s not-so-soft noise. Ienzo kissed his throat, his shoulder, but for the most part they were both focused on the point where they were connected. Demyx’s arms were wrapped tightly around him. Ienzo pulled Demyx’s cock nearly all the way out of him, the tip teasing his opening, and sank back down on him hard.

“Don’t stop.” It was almost a whimper; Ienzo felt a thrill of power, only adding to the storm growing along his skin. He did this a few more times, feeling everything start to slip away from him; Demyx grasped at his hips and bucked back with equal force, making him breathless, and yet he was also tighter from the overstimulation. “God, you’re so--”

Ienzo could feel him getting closer, his dick tensing towards the base. He tried to grind against him, anything to force him over the edge; it actually slipped out of him once, making Demyx laugh a little.

“Loving the enthusiasm,” Demyx said, helping guide it back inside of him. Ienzo just picked up where he left off, feeling weak, his joints turning more to jelly. He thought he might faint; the noises Demyx was making weren’t helping. “Zo? I--” A louder moan, partially muffled along his skin, and feeling the twitch of it inside of him as he came made Ienzo shatter.

This one was different; it was almost  _ violent _ , making him spasm with a sensation he didn’t think it was possible to feel. He felt something sticky that was different than his normal wetness. “I’m sorry…”

Demyx didn’t seem disgusted by this, though. “It’s just cum.”

“I didn’t know I could do that,” he said dazedly. “I’ve never…” He knew it was fairly rare.

Demyx laughed at him. “Well, was it good at least?”

“Almost  _ too _ good.” Shakily, he eased off of Demyx down onto the bed. 

He reached over and got a tissue to wipe it away. “And we thought we would be bad at this,” he said. He lay back down. The moon shone brightly on the foot of the bed now; they twined together. 

Ienzo hummed a little. He was positively exhausted now. Before he could reach down to pull the covers up over them, he heard,

“Zo?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

He said it so simply. So cleanly. Ienzo looked up. He could  _ see _ it in Demyx’s eyes. He hoped Demyx could see it in his own when he said. “I love  _ you _ .”

A slow, content smile. “Let’s get some sleep.”

* * *

Over the next few weeks after they returned home, Ienzo tried to find a balance. Classwork didn’t bother him; it  _ was _ jarring to go from university to the rest of this strange life. Finding the time and place to train Demyx, much less work on his own abilities, was difficult, considering the more time went on the closer they crept to finals, and coursework did not come as naturally to him as it did to Ienzo. Whenever they could, they made love, and while Ienzo was still on the pills he  _ did _ feel more relieved when condoms were involved again. 

Ienzo did not see Ansem as much as he would’ve liked. It was dangerous, he knew, but with the mansion thought compromised there weren’t many safe locations they could meet; Ansem had to duck in and out of hiding. Every now and again they were able to take walks together in the park, but as the weather got colder and windier it was not pleasant.

“Are you enjoying your studies?” They both looked over a small pond, not at each other, and Ansem spoke nearly out of the corner of his mouth.

“I wish they were more challenging.”

He chuckled. “Well, unfortunately you must finish your Bachelor’s before moving on--I do think postgrad would be where you’d thrive.”

“If I get that far.”

Ansem touched his arm; the touch was nearly startling. “Have hope, Ienzo,” he said. “Perhaps your work with Cid will be fruitful.”

“...I certainly hope so.”

* * *

Cid lived in a duplex on the other side of town, a trip that required three separate car transfers. By the time Ienzo got there, he was more exhausted than excited. He was smoking a cigarette on the front stoop when Ienzo arrived.

“Well, come on in, kid, come on.” He stubbed out the butt in an ashtray. “I hope you don’t expect any of that “your highness” crap.”

Ienzo smiled. “On the contrary.”

The inside of the place was cluttered and smelled vaguely like static; power cords had been taped down with gaff but snaked all over the floor. “I know, it’s a fire hazard,” Cid said with a shrug. “Just watch your step. Coffee?”

Ienzo shook his head. Miscellaneous papers were stacked here and there, not so neatly. “What is all this?”

“Research, and some old things we’ve been able to collect from here and there,” Cid said. He took a key out of his pocket and unlocked a door towards the back of the living room. “For the record? I don’t trust electric locks worth  _ shit _ .”

Ienzo felt the electricity before he saw it; it did strange things to his magic, making it prickle. A few servers lined the walls of this small study, the ventilation humming happily, and despite the late November cold an AC unit was running.

“Gotta keep these babies happy,” Cid said, patting one. “ _ Years _ of data and recon.”

“I do hope you’ve backed them up somewhere.”

He scowled. “I ain’t an idiot.”

“My apologies--I didn’t mean to imply you were.”

“I know. Well.” He picked up a camp cot and unfolded it. “There you are, princeling.”

Ienzo sat. Cid connected a few cords to his servers, then to a sleek, powerful-looking computer tower. “Is that an SA10?”

He beamed with pride. “It sure is. Cost me almost two months’ salary, but it was worth it.”

Ienzo bit his lip. “I just hope no harm comes to it. This  _ is _ a kind of experiment, you know.” Still, he could not help admiring it. He’d never had the resources to study computer science the way he would’ve liked. 

Cid trailed the cords over to him; each had an electrode on the end. “Lie down.”

He did so; the old cot creaked under his weight. Cid stuck the electrodes to his wrists, his temples. He shut his eyes.

“Alright. I’ll boot it up, and you just… do your thing, I guess. Feel it out.”

A moment later, Ienzo could  _ feel _ the computer coming on. He brought his magic out onto his skin, trying to guide the energy into the wires. 

Everything disappeared.

It was the strangest sensation, to suddenly not be embodied, the magic clashing and combining with the binary code. Ienzo followed the code as far as he could and found himself standing in a bizarre recreation of a library, texts flowing in a straight line as far as the eye could see. “How odd,” he said aloud. “I guess my mind is rationalizing this process as a sort of dream.”

In the far distance, he saw something run, darting between the shelves. He followed it. His whole being felt curiously light, and he didn’t tire running. 

“Wait…” He didn’t know how he knew he was supposed to follow it, but he did, the tug of the magic growing stronger. “Please--”

It opened a door and disappeared through. Ienzo lurched forward to follow before the door could slam. 

The world was suddenly rendered in an old-fashioned computer grid, everything bluish. “I’m not going to hurt you,” Ienzo said. “I just--”

“Oh, I know that,” a voice said cheerfully. “But how else could I get you back here?”

Ienzo tensed. The being in front of him definitely looked like a human man, though bits of his clothing were glowing; the lining of his suit jacket, his tie. “Who are--”

He offered his hand. “My name is Tron,” he said. “Though you might better know me as the administrative program of this server.”

Ienzo shook; the touch was disconcertingly normal. “Cid’s servers?” he asked. “I’m sure he’d lose his mind if he realized they were sentient.”

“Oh, no. I’ve been trying to get in touch with him for some time. Though I admit--you’re the most advanced program I’ve ever seen.”

Ienzo frowned. His curiosity was killing him. “I’m not a program.”

Tron’s eyes widened. “You’re a user? How did you get in here?”

“My magic allowed my consciousness to pass through.”

Tron walked around him slowly in a circle. “Unbelievable,” he murmured. “I’ve never heard of someone having such power--”

“I’m a prince,” he said, his lip curling over the word. “Kind of comes with the territory.”

“Oh,” Tron said. Then, “ _ Oh _ .”

“Is something the matter?”

“No--not at all.” He grinned widely. “This is--you’re  _ perfect _ to take this knowledge back to him, then.”

“What knowledge?”

“Follow me.”

Ienzo did so, through this strange endless space. It lacked temperature, scent.

"King Ansem engaged certain protocols to always leave a backdoor open on his OS. Xehanort has… been wreaking havoc on my fellow programs in an attempt to get to the vital systems there. To control the town's defense system… and whatever else. But if you're who I think you are… you can take the passkey back to Cid and allow him access."

Ienzo gasped a little. "But that would mean--we could potentially mine data from Xehanort, about his plans, his weaknesses--Tron, you have no idea how valuable this would be."

He nodded. "Exactly. But… be warned, Ienzo, there are protections in place. Firewalls, viruses… it won't be that straightforward."

"I'm sure Cid can manage."

They eddied out into a large, bright area. They could see out into that lab, in his  _ home. _ But the empty warehouse space beyond the computer had changed--he squinted. Were those…  _ pods? _

A face entered frame; Ienzo tensed. "They can't see us," Tron told him. 

Ienzo did not recognize this person. He did look like Xehanort, but he was tanner, and his longer hair was slicked back. He tapped at the keys, nodded once to himself, and left. 

"Xehanort's eldest son," Tron said. "He had another name once, but now he calls himself… Ansem. The heir apparent… apparently." He smiled darkly. 

Ienzo scowled.

"My working hypothesis is that he's the one performing the experiments."

"Experiments? Is this related to the mutant Heartless?"

"Possibly--if that's what's going on out in your world. I'll send a .zip file back with you with what I know." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, old key. "Here's the passkey. You should be able to translate it once you're back in your body."

"Tron--thank you."

He shook his head. "I should thank you. This darkness… this virus… needs to be stopped. Now  _ go _ before the viruses find us." He pushed Ienzo's shoulder.

Ienzo flew backward… far, fast--the next thing he knew he was waking up in his body, horrifically dizzy and nauseous. "Pen," he spat to Cid. "Pen and paper. Now."

Cid obeyed. Ienzo began scribbling the code; it was in a language he'd never seen before. His hand flew across the paper, the knowledge of it draining from his mind as he did so--humans were not meant to house code, after all--and handed the results to Cid.

"The hell is this?" He asked.

"The passkey to a backdoor." He was breathing hard; he felt he may be sick. "The backdoor… to the castle servers in Radiant Garden."

Cid's eyebrows shot up. " _ Paydirt _ ," he nearly yelled. "Kid, you're phenomenal."

"It wasn't just me." The dizziness wasn't fading; he clutched his head. "I was able to interface with the admin program there--it was like talking to a person." He told him everything.

Cid clutched the paper like it was gold. "Far  _ fuckin  _ out." Then, "you okay? You look a little green in the gills."

"I think it was merely the process. It is… jarring." He smiled. "I hope this will be of use."

"Like hell it will be! If I can crack this baby open, we'll suddenly have a  _ huge _ advantage over him. Great work, Ienzo."

* * *

Over the next few days, however, the dizziness didn't pass, and the nausea continued to come and go. Ienzo tried to independently research if magic and technological interfacing could have this reaction, but there was nearly no data. What was technology but a regular person's attempt at magic? He wondered if it were worth mentioning anything to Even, but the symptoms seemed manageable with ginger tea and rest.

It was now time for finals; Demyx invited him to a study party at the apartment. The day of, Ienzo woke up to aching breasts, despite the scarcity of tissue; he checked the paperwork that had come with his pills and found it could be a side effect of the first three to six months of use, as well as… dizziness and nausea. This knowledge relieved him. He gathered his school things and headed over to Demyx's.

Sora, Kairi, and Riku were sprawled over the couch, their computers casting an eerie glow; Lea and Yuffie anchored the small table. This left Demyx and Ienzo a corner of floor, made more comfortable with blankets and pillows. Ienzo helped him with his final paper; the knowledge and ideas were there, the grammar and syntax was not. He had just stood to go to the bathroom when his nausea worsened; as casually as possible, he went inside, shut the door, and was sick, muffling the sound with a spell in case anyone was listening. The nausea faded instantly. 

A gentle knock at the door. "Just a moment," he said.

"You okay?" Kairi's voice.

Ienzo rinsed out his mouth and washed his face. He cracked the door. "Why wouldn't I be?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Come see this cool thing in Riku's room," she said, taking his hand and leading him towards the closed door.

Riku's bedroom was smaller than Demyx's and oddly minimalist, aside from a few photos on the bookshelf and a painting on the wall Ienzo could not get a good look at. "What's going on?" Ienzo asked.

"I heard you getting sick--I can see through illusory spells. It's part of my power." She frowned. "Are you okay?"

"Yes--it's nothing to worry about. I'm taking a new medication that has nausea as a side effect. That's all."

"A… medication," she said slowly, something unreadable in her expression that Ienzo did not like one bit. "It's not… birth control, is it?"

"I don't think that's any of your business."

She shook her head. "I  _ thought _ something felt different about you--"

"Like. What."

She exhaled. "Do you think you could be pregnant?"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm always careful."

She bit her lip. "Ienzo, I… sense something. I don't know  _ what _ it is, but…"

"So you instantly jump to pregnancy?"

She shrugged. "It does sound crazy, now that I'm hearing it. Just that pregnancy _feels_ similar to this."

"But not the same, no?"

"No," she conceded. "But… it is birth control you're taking, isn't it?"

His heart stuttered; though why? "...Yes?"

"Huh…" She put her hand to her chin. "Which one?"

"Kairi, this is very personal."

"Then humor me for the sake of my power."

He rolled his eyes and told her.

"But I take that one, and it never made me sick…" 

"I'm sure I just react differently," he said. "Now if you don't mind keeping this between us."

"Sure," she said, her eyes still lost in thought.

* * *

The idea, once planted, took root.

Ienzo had to admit the symptoms were similar. But the pill pack distinctly said these could be side effects. And aside from those times at the cottage, they always used  _ at least _ two forms of contraception. Why on earth would Kairi sense something akin to pregnancy in him? Surely he would've sensed it first?

When he woke the next morning not just with aching breasts but swollen ankles, fear invaded. In a dissociative haze, he held his morning urine, went to the pharmacy, bought a test. There was no  _ way. _ He did not get periods; how could his uterus even be hospitable towards a zygote?

It had to be the hormones in the pill; that was all.

He ignored Even's wittering and went upstairs, locking himself into the bathroom he shared with Aeleus. The result would be negative; why was he procrastinating? Eventually, the desperation to urinate won over his cowardice, and he took the test, set it aside; waited the instructed three minutes, then five, because wouldn't that be more effective? But after ten minutes, he realized he would just have to look at the damn thing. After all, why was he worried? He got up and washed his hands, keeping his eyes stubbornly on the faucet. He was trembling.

_ There is no need to be anxious. _ It would be negative.

Ienzo took the stick into his hands and flipped it over. His voice sounded very disembodied when he mumbled,

"Oh,  _ shit. _ "


	14. Forecast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very old form of magic forces Ienzo's hand.

In black letters, the stick spat the word back at him.  _ Pregnant. _ Almost mocking.

" _ Shit _ ," he said again, a raw furrow of panic catching under his breastbone. He knew instantly it was true, and any belief otherwise had been willful denial on his part. He threw the thing away and buried the extra test behind the toilet paper and cleaning products under the sink. He was feeling dizzy now, again. He'd make himself tea. He'd make a plan, figure out what to do with himself. How had this  _ happened? _ He'd been responsible-- so much for "over 99% effective." He bit his lip, hard.

The anxiety worsened his dizziness, and he had to hold the banister on the way down the stairs. He crossed over to the kettle, lit the stove.

"Ienzo? Are you alright?" Even asked. He'd even looked up from his laptop.

"I'm alright." He was going double. "I'm a little tired."

"Why don't you have a nap, then, instead of ingesting yet more caffeine?" 

"I'll have mint tea." He turned towards their tea cabinet, his hand trembling, and he tasted more than felt himself faint.

When he came to he was on the couch, a damp cloth on his forehead, a pillow under his feet. Even was looking out the window, arms crossed, his face pinched… fearful. Ienzo knew instantly that he knew. "How do you feel?" He asked, his tone gentle, not nearly the telling-off Ienzo expected.

"...Better." He tried to sit up; Even eased him back down. 

His green eyes were so hollow. "Were you aware…" He began haltingly, "were you aware you're pregnant?"

Ienzo felt tears in his eyes--of shame, mostly. "I… took the test shortly before I fainted," he admitted. "But I've had the symptoms for several weeks. I… attributed them to something else." He tried to blink it back. "I was  _ careful _ , Even, I always used at least one form of conception--usually two! I--"

"What kind?"

He blinked. "What?"

"What  _ kind  _ of contraception?"

"Well--condoms, and a pill."

He groaned and put his face in his hands. " _ Hormonal _ birth control?"

"Yes?"

Now Ienzo saw a spark of the anger. "Child, your hair cannot take  _ dye _ , why on earth did you think your body would take birth control?"

Ienzo's face flushed.

"You should've set your pride aside and came to me the moment you started engaging in… such activity." He was breathing hard. "It was when you went to the cottage, wasn't it? I  _ knew _ Aeleus would be too lax with you two--" He turned away again. "And that was a full moon…"

"So?"

Even locked eyes with him. He looked exhausted now. "Ienzo, you may as well have been  _ actively _ trying to conceive… doing  _ that _ during a full moon, with essentially no protection. If his power comes from the sea and yours from the earth, of  _ course _ the moon is going to impact your magic. Make it  _ easier _ .”

Ienzo rested his hand on his stomach. “When you scanned me… did you happen to sense how… far along, it is?”

“About five weeks.”

This time, when Ienzo sat up, Even didn’t stop him; he came and sat next to him. Ienzo realized he was  _ angry _ at him. “Even,” he began. “How come you never  _ told _ me?”

“What?”

“About the birth control. About the moon affecting my fertility.”

He hesitated.

“I’m young, but I’m not a  _ child _ . Even, if I’d known--”

“Are you implying this pregnancy is my fault?”

“No!” He crossed his arms. “But you infantilizing me certainly did not help. I need you to let me have agency, Even, and to stop withholding things from me.”

He exhaled. “Alright. Yes. But first we must deal with this.”

“I don’t suppose we can… simply will it away.”

“No,” Even said. “Magic won’t do much for  _ you _ in particular. We’d have to… take the regular route.” He squeezed Ienzo’s hand. 

“...I see.”

“You can’t have this child, Ienzo.”

“I don’t  _ want _ to,” he said. “I’m so--I’m only twenty, Even. Not to mention… the firstborn gets my power, doesn’t it?”

“...Yes.”

“I don’t need it to be in danger. I… I’m not  _ ready _ .” He felt himself tearing up.

“I know this. Listen, I’ll… make an appointment for you, and we’ll get this straightened out. It never happened.” He drew Ienzo into his arms. And while Ienzo was literally just complaining about being treated like a child… the touch was much needed.

“I should tell him,” Ienzo said.

“Do you want to?”

“He deserves to know.”

Even stroked his hair. “You’ll be alright, Ienzo. I’m sure of it.”

* * *

It felt odd, uncomfortable, to go to the gynecologist, to discuss his “options.” When he insisted he wanted to terminate, she just nodded and told him to come back three days later with someone to bring him home. He was mostly… numb. He knew it needed to be done, but the shame at getting himself in this situation was not to be doubted.

Ienzo took Demyx for a walk. It was a cold day in mid-December, shortly before solstice… before his twenty-first birthday, a day that would’ve signified him fully coming of age, were things normal. The air was oddly still, the air tense, skies cloudy. It was starting to snow, faintly. Demyx chatted happily about plans he’d made during the semester break; he wanted to take Ienzo sledding on the hills just outside of town.

“I want to… talk to you about something,” Ienzo began slowly.

Noticing his change in tone, he stopped. “What wrong?” He asked, touching Ienzo’s cheek with his gloved hand. 

He hadn’t previously been anxious about this; moreso numb, but now the panic threatened to invade. He took a deep breath. “I…” He had to spit it out. Get it over with. The situation had already been resolved, hadn’t it? “I’m pregnant.”

Demyx dropped his eyes. “...You... are?”

“I… I’m sorry. I was wrong.” He felt himself tearing up yet again. “My… body rejected the birth control.”

He didn’t know what to say.

“But I’m… taking care of things.” Ienzo nodded. “I’m… having the procedure on Friday.”

“Are you sure this is what you want?” 

“We can’t have a baby, Demyx. With the darkness? We’re both still in school, and--” The panic was inflating. He could feel his lower lip trembling. “The baby gets my power, Demyx, I don’t want to give them that. What if Xehanort gets them?  _ Uses _ them, or worse? I--”

Demyx drew him into his arms. Ienzo could feel him trembling too. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I… I’m sorry.”

It took him a while to calm down; the hormones didn’t help. 

“Can I… do something for you?” Demyx asked. “Be there, hold your hand? Anything?”

He wiped at his eyes; the cotton of his gloves was scratchy. “Someone needs to take me home.”

“Then it’ll be me.” He kissed his forehead. “God. This is fucking surreal.”

“...Isn’t it?”

* * *

Ienzo hadn’t anticipated being able to sleep the night before, but the pregnancy made him exhausted, and he drifted uncertainly. 

He dreamt of Radiant Garden. It was a lovely spring day, and the flowers, well-kept again, were blooming. It had the haziness of memory, fond and well-worn. He was in the plaza, on a patch of grass, sitting on a quilt. A picnic. 

“Daddy!”

The voice was startling, because it most definitely  _ was not his. _ In this dream, this  _ memory _ , he was an adult. He turned.

A little girl. Her hair violet-silver, maybe three years old, perhaps slightly less--

She had Demyx’s eyes--

“Daddy, look!” She pressed her tiny hands together and when she opened them, a small, glowing flower of magic sat in her palms. “I made it!”

“Oh, sweetie, it’s beautiful.”

She walked over to him and held up her arms, wanting to be picked up, so he did. The weight was too-familiar on his hip. “Can we go to the garden?”

“Of course.”

She leaned against his shoulder. They walked together, through the spring day. Passersby greeted them not as royalty, but as community members. Radiant Garden was bustling again. “Do you think this is real?”

“What do you mean, love?”

“This. Right now.”

Ienzo blinked. “What makes you say that?”

“‘Cause it feels like membering but I’m still in your tummy.”

He stopped dead in his tracks. “What else do you remember?”

“Mmm, well. You telling me about the war, lots of people sad. And how me being borned made the bad man go away.”

“Did I say how?” Things were losing distinction, getting hazy.

“When I was borned I brought a friend.”

“What  _ kind _ of friend?”

“He has teeth like this.” She held her lips open with her fingers, like fangs. “And he looks scary but he isn’t.”

That didn’t exactly narrow it down. Ienzo set the girl down, gently. “I need you to think really hard. Who was this friend?”

She put her hand to her face, looking, for a moment, exactly like Demyx. “He did bad things. And he felt really sad about them, so he wanted to fix it. So when I got borned he did.”

“But what did he--what did he look like?” Like a toddler would be able to give him solid details. 

Instead, her teal eyes got watery. “Daddy,” she said instead. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“It’s dark outside.”

“So you’re saying… if you’re born, then…”

“My magic goes boom!” She gestured with her tiny hands. “And then people stop hurting.”

Not much to work with. 

“Friends helped us and then we pushed them all away, whoosh…” She pushed. “You member?”

Ienzo touched his forehead. He thought he  _ almost _ did, but it was strained, through a veil of… time. “You’re showing me the future,” he said.

She clapped her hands together.

“In the future--he’s gone? Xehanort is--gone? The war is over?”

“You and me and daddy live with granpa and grandad in the big castle.” 

Ienzo pressed a hand to his mouth. “Oh, gods.”

“It’s okay daddy. Don’t cry.”

“I’m not sad,” he told her honestly. 

He reached down and drew his daughter into his arms.

* * *

Ienzo woke slowly. He felt warm all over, especially his scalp, and he knew without looking his hair was glowing. He rested a tentative hand on his belly. The future… the memory that  _ had not happened yet. _ He gasped a breath. He shot out of bed and darted down the stairs.

Even, drowsing over his papers, jerked awake with a start. “What… Ienzo?” He snapped into awareness. “Are you--your  _ hair _ \--”

“Even, I can’t get rid of this baby.”

“What are you  _ on _ about?”

“It was… _she_ was showing me a  _ vision _ . Of the future. Xehanort’s gone, Radiant Garden is back to normal. Apparently her birth… brings allies to the resistance.”

For a long moment, Even’s face was just blank, and then he said, “You were Forecasting.”

“You don’t think this is just some kind of dream?”

He got up and took a few shaky steps towards Ienzo. He placed his hands on his shoulders. “Your mother did the same with you,” he murmured, and his eyes were watering. “And it came true.”

Ienzo took a trembling breath. “So should I… should I really--”

“It shows you  _ a _ future,” he said. “It’s not set in stone. You still have a choice, Ienzo.”

“But if she brings  _ peace _ … how can I… not do that?” He thought of her little face, another wave of warmth breaking over him. “How could I--”

Even embraced him. “Alright,” he said. “Alright.”

* * *

Demyx arrived before they were due to head out. His expression was drawn, his face gray, and his hair looked like it had been styled more carelessly than normal. “I have to talk to you,” he said, as soon as Ienzo opened the door. “I had this dream--”

“About our daughter?”

He took a breath. “How did you--”

“I had one too. Come inside.”

The four of them sat in the living room. Aeleus had made them tea, but none of them drank it.

“It’s called… Forecasting,” Even said in an odd voice. “Often with very old bloodlines… like both of yours… the expectant parents will see… a vision of what the child’s life  _ could _ be like. Who they’ll be. What they could… bring, to this world. Like I told Ienzo, it’s not… set in stone, necessarily, but it’s… very likely to occur, what you saw. Your child will be very powerful--of that I have no doubt, whether they’re born eight months from now or years into the future.”

Demyx’s grip on Ienzo’s hand tightened.

“That kind of power… can turn the tide.”

“You said my mother was right when she dreamt about me. What did she dream?”

Even’s smile was small and sad. “That she wouldn’t be with you for very long. That you would be raised happily, by her brother, Ansem… until at which point you were separated. So that being said… what do you wish?”

Ienzo looked at Demyx. They held eye contact for a long time. Demyx’s eyes were watering. “I…” He swallowed. “I want her.”

Ienzo’s own emotions were rising. “I want her too.”

“But what about the… the money, and the… we’re so… we’re so  _ young _ , I--” 

“It won’t be easy,” Aeleus added. His own expression was wistful, stoic. “Especially considering as the pregnancy progresses, Ienzo, your power will only grow, become more noticeable. Essentially… a target on your back.”

“But if any of this is right, then… that will  _ help _ , in a way.”

“It’d be harder to protect you.”

Ienzo felt a wave of guilt. 

“But we are… willing, if this is what the two of you wish.”

Ienzo looked back at him again. Demyx just nodded, the tears in his eyes running over. Ienzo nodded too. “Okay?”

“Okay.”


	15. Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo's pregnancy progresses.

_ Six months later _

“Behind you,” Demyx spat. Ienzo ducked, just barely feeling the droplets of Demyx’s spell against the Heartless.

“Thanks.” Ienzo gathered more magic under his hands. It was easier--more volatile--than ever. “A few more, baby.”

“Are you  _ enjoying _ this?”

“...I have to cope somehow.” He slashed through the remaining ones in the clearing and brushed the dust off of his hands. “That’s the last of them.” Ienzo’s heart was still racing. He placed a hand on his belly. “What can I say? She’s bloodthirsty.”

Demyx laughed a little. His hand joined Ienzo’s. “She’s really pummeling you.”

“I think it’s the adrenaline. Must feel good.” He gave him a kiss. “Come on. We have to go get ready. You’re going to be late.”

Demyx’s smile faltered. “Does it matter?”

“It’s your college graduation. Of course it matters. I’m so proud of you.  _ Summa cum laude, _ Demyx, it’s a big deal.”

“...That’s only ‘cause you helped me.”

“Adding a few commas and semicolons into your papers isn’t much.” He took both his hands. “Come on.” 

It wasn’t a long walk home from the woods. It had rained earlier that morning, a spring rain that made everything fresh… and muddy. They’d both need a shower before they headed over to the university.

The last few months had made things both more complicated and simpler. It was easier to be pregnant than Ienzo thought, especially once the morning sickness subsided. He had more energy and, yes, more  _ power _ . He was still able to go to class, simply covering his belly with an illusion; as long as nobody got too close, they wouldn’t be able to know. 

While being more powerful attracted more Heartless, it also made his work with Cid easier. They were cracking small parts of Xehanort’s OS, which had allowed them to fell tiny pockets of his in the country, taking back a few small bastions. At least it was progress, and after so much stalemate, it was welcome.

His contact with Ansem, limited as it was, tapered off entirely. Ienzo did not even know if his father knew of his pregnancy, what had happened. All he knew was that one meeting everyone was frantically asking one another where he’d gone. They all had their theories; that he’d been killed, kidnapped, that he was running his own reconnaissance missions. But why would he leave? Why now? It was a question that kept Ienzo up at night. 

Ienzo actually had to move his bedroom into the basement, an extra layer of defense against his magic. On top of that… while Demyx still received mail at his old apartment, he stayed over so frequently that he did essentially live there. Once his lease was up in June, it would be permanent. Even just grit his teeth and bore it; it wasn’t as though Ienzo could get  _ doubly _ pregnant. 

It was still odd, to see himself in mirrors, to see his belly and to feel the baby move. He swore he _felt_ her aura growing. Thinking about her… gave him hope.

Though with the hope was anxiety.

While they seemed to be gaining a little ground against Xehanort, it didn’t seem to be happening quickly enough to offset the harm. On top of this was the stress of oncoming parenthood; he was only  _ barely _ an adult himself. They didn’t have the things she’d  _ need _ , and there was only about two more months before she would be born--

Ienzo showered quickly, pulled on a sweater. Demyx was putting on a tie, smoothing the strands of hair out of his face. “You clean up nicely,” he said.

Demyx exhaled. “Not that anyone’s going to see it under that thing.” He gestured to the black robe. 

Ienzo touched his arm. “Hey,” he said. “Relax, will you?”

“There are just going to be a  _ lot _ of people around you.”

“We’ll manage,” he said. “Now get dressed. Come on.”

Ienzo felt as though he were standing in two lives. Aeleus so indulgently let them take a photo or two at Ienzo’s insistence; Demyx’s shock at this (Ienzo hated being in photos, especially pregnant) distracted him enough to comply.

One life was watching his soulmate cross the stage to earn his degree while their child moved gently inside of him.

The other was the fact that he was an extraordinarily powerful prince pregnant with an even more powerful heir, and there were potentially eyes everywhere.

The ceremony ended. The university was offering a lunch for the graduates and their guests, and Ienzo was going to be sure Demyx went and enjoyed every bit of it, especially with his friends. Lea, Riku, and Yuffie had graduated as well in their various fields. And then he was  _ going _ to make Demyx go to a graduation party, even if it exhausted him, even if he could only drink soda. He deserved at least a little more fun. Finally, Ienzo saw him relax a little, taking selfies and chatting happily with friends.

“How are you feeling?” Kairi asked him, whisper close. Ienzo didn’t  _ look _ pregnant at this moment in time, but all their friends knew. 

“Good. We ran into some Heartless this morning on our walk. She loved every minute of that fight.” He sighed. “Good for her. I have a feeling there will be a whole  _ lot _ more fighting.”

She squeezed his hand. “I’m glad to see you, though.”

“I wasn’t going to miss this. He deserves it.”

“Yeah. He does.” She hummed happily and led him back over to the table. “So I’ve been working with Aqua, and we’re wondering if there might be a way to help restore Heartless to their previous selves with my power.”

His eyebrows shot up. “That’s--”

“I know. Could be a game changer. We just… gotta find a safe place to capture some, that’s all.”

“Tell me what I can do to help.”

“I will--if anything happens.”

The day eddied on happily, uneventfully. Quietly. For this, Ienzo was glad. Demyx finally seemed to be feeling some of the pride and excitement he should’ve had all day. Dinner nearly over, Ienzo had to excuse himself to find a restroom. The corridor was markedly silent when he left, almost uncomfortably so; he tensed. He almost thought he saw something moving, but nothing came of it; swallowing this fear, he returned to the table and his friends.

* * *

Demyx started looking for work in earnest. He’d had to take a test to be a fully certified teacher; Ienzo had helped him study, getting… creative, with the rewards. (He was infinitely glad Demyx was not uncomfortable having sex with him while he was pregnant.) He was able to tutor some students in their homes. It felt almost like they were waiting for the other shoe to drop, even as they bought some things for their baby. 

As much as Cid would let him, Ienzo worked with Tron. The work was not physically draining, but still the man was worried about him being unconscious so long with the baby. It felt as though they were making more small gains. Cid unencrypted whatever they were able to pull and passed it to Even, who studied voraciously.

More time passed… Ienzo felt himself getting heavier and heavier, his power more unstable. Once he was doing dishes, and the baby kicked him, and everything breakable in the sink shattered. Aeleus just rested a gentle hand on his back and began to pick the broken bits out of the sink. 

Heartless hunted him more mercilessly now, even with Demyx around. Aerith and Aqua reinforced the wards on the townhouse. It only helped so much. The baby was growing only stronger as the pregnancy progressed.

Ienzo knew he would not be giving birth in a hospital. It was simply too much risk.

“Shouldn’t we get me out of the city entirely?” Ienzo asked. “Away from… people?”

Even nodded. “Quite. Aerith was kind enough to lend us her cottage again. She’s also a skilled healer, so you’ll be in good hands. I know your work with Cid is important… but as soon as is safe to do so, we should leave.”

Demyx squeezed Ienzo’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.”

One of these days in early summer, Even took him aside. “Have you… done any reading, into what the birth will be like?”

He raised an eyebrow. “I know how children are born, Even.” Ienzo sighed; he was feeling breathless, the baby pressing against his lungs. “I… I’m afraid I haven’t had much time, between my work, and the Heartless.”

He shook his head. “It’ll be different for you,” he said. “Not just the… intense release of magic when she’s born, but the labor will be…” He thought a moment. “Historically, very short.”

“Isn’t that good?” He’d tried not to think about the actual process too much, but it was getting to be time.

“Very brief, but… incredibly painful.”

He scoffed. “Of course.”

“Moreso than for most humans. Her aura has to separate from yours.”

“Would anesthetics help?”

“I’ve been looking into it. I’m hoping that I can make something which will make it easier for you.”

“...Yet, not an answer to my question.”

Even scowled. “I can ease physical pain. I’m not  _ sure _ what can be done about the magical pain.” A sigh, then his expression grew wistful. “In another world this would be a time of joy, of celebration, of ritual. Your mother would be by your side… or your father. You’d labor in a warm bath with flowers and herbs… and not have to worry about monsters striking you at your most vulnerable.”

“...And I would be ten or fifteen years older, and ready for such a thing.” Ienzo rested his hand on his belly. “Part of me wonders… if he found out, and then… fled. I know this is merely… my hormonal brain, doing the talking. But…”

“You have doubts. He hasn’t been part of your life in a while. That’s natural.” He offered a small smile. “It will be difficult, I won’t lie. But we’ll help you.”   
  
Ienzo ran his fingers along the bump, feeling the baby press against it. “Well. Too late to back out now.”

“...Quite.”

* * *

But nothing went as expected.

He was thirty-eight weeks into this pregnancy now, the magic so volatile he can barely do anything without unanticipated consequences. They were gathering their things to leave for the seaside and had just sat for a late lunch. Ienzo had been unusually hungry all day; he’d eaten two grilled cheese sandwiches and was considering asking for a third.

“I’ll be glad, to get away,” he murmured, tracing his finger through the crumbs. The baby kicked him restlessly, and he stroked her. 

“I’m excited to meet her,” Demyx said, taking his hand. “Though I already know what she looks like.”

“Yes… unfortunately, she was always predetermined to look more like me. You’d have better luck with the second one.”

He snorted. “Second one? We have to survive this one first.”

Ienzo smiled. “Well. If the Forecast is true… then there will be time for that in the future.”

Demyx kissed his palm. “More? You demolished that last one.”

He exhaled. “Yes. Thank you.”

Demyx took his plate back over to the counter, pulled out the bread and cheese.

And Ienzo felt a cramp.

It wasn’t intense, insofar as these things go, but it was most definitely  _ not _ one of the practice cramps he’d had. A cramp, and then a warm trickling between his legs, pattering softly on the floor.

Demyx’s eyes were wide, terrified, his skin pale. “ _ Please _ tell me that’s pee.”

Panic made it hard to breathe. “I wish it were.”

Demyx grabbed the roll of paper towels and began wiping it up. Ienzo could hear him breathing heavily. “Don’t move,” he said. “I’ll… I’ll get Even.”

The accused breezed into the kitchen. “What do you need me for?” He saw their terrified expressions, Ienzo’s wet clothing. Then he, too, went pale for a moment. “Oh. Oh, child.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t suppose… we can get there in time.”

Even just shook his head. “Not unless you want to give birth in the backseat of the car.”

“What do we do?” Demyx asked.

He thought a moment. “We get Ienzo clean and comfortable. We call however many magic users are willing to come. And then we… manage. I’m a doctor; I’ve delivered babies. I think I can handle delivering yours.”

Another cramp, more painful than the last, had him gasping. Ienzo could feel her shifting inside of him, down. “We’re not  _ ready _ ,” he hissed through his teeth. “We don’t have any… any diapers, or bottles, or… storybooks.” 

Demyx knelt next to him and took his hand, not so much as flinching when Ienzo squeezed it hard. “We’ll be okay.” He helped him gently to his feet. The two of them brought him downstairs into the basement. Shakily, Ienzo took off his wet clothing, slid on his thin white cotton robe. A third contraction had him gasping and clinging to Demyx.

“I knew it would be fast,” he gasped. “But that couldn’t have been more than… five minutes…” 

Even came up and down the stairs with pillows, towels, plastic sheeting to protect the mattress. Medical supplies. The things they’d intended to take to the cottage. Demyx lit a few candles, sang softly to him. This seemed to be the only thing that eased the pain at all.

“She must like that,” Ienzo said dazedly. Time was moving weirdly; all of a sudden there was a basin of water on his dresser, and Demyx was dabbing his forehead with a wet cloth. He was vaguely aware of people poking their heads in, Aeleus saying that so-and-so had arrived and was reinforcing the wards at the property line. The rest of him was focused on the gristle knot of pain that threatened to tear him in two.

“Can’t we give him something?” Demyx asked. 

“I don’t have anything body safe that will help.”

He was eased back gently onto the pillows. “How long has it been?” He barely sounded like himself.

“A little under four hours,” Even said.

“Really? Already?” And yet it felt like an eternity. “I’m so… thirsty.”

“You can have some ice.”

Demyx handed him a cup of ice chips one of them must have made. He didn’t think it was possible to feel this much pain. “She’s coming,” Ienzo said.

“I know.”

“I’m having our baby.”

“I know. And you’re handling it like a champ.” Then, in a lower voice, “is he supposed to be this out of it?”

“Considering he’s currently in more pain than a person can physically perceive? He’s much more lucid than his mother was.”

The next cramp was so intense he nearly screamed. Demyx rubbed his shoulders, brushed the sweaty hair out of his face. “Where am I?” Ienzo asked. 

“In your bedroom.”

“No, I mean…” He grit his teeth, choking on another contraction. “The dilation, where is it?”

Even checked. “Nine centimeters. Nearly time to push.”

“I’m scared.”

“I know, love. But we’ve got you. Demyx, help me turn him onto his side.”

“His… side?”

Even made an exasperated noise. “Poor thing’s in enough pain without forcing him to give birth  _ on his back. _ Goes completely against the shape of the birth canal.”

Ienzo could barely move on his own. He felt so dreadfully exposed. 

“Can you support his left leg?”

Feeling the calluses of Demyx’s hands on his skin was a cold comfort. The cramping, if anything, grew more violent; he felt his mouth open in a small O of pain. He heard the  _ snap _ of gloves as Even put on a clean pair, and then more intense than the pain was the  _ pressure _ , moving downwards. “I feel--”

“Do you want to push, Ienzo?”

The soft candlelight made everything hazy. “I… I think so…”

“Go ahead. Go on, love.”

Ienzo looked at Demyx, and for just a moment everything was perfectly clear. Demyx touched his sweaty face. “You can do this.”

“I can do this. Right.” He took a deep breath. When the next pain seized him, the next wave of pressure, instead of being pummeled by it, he tried to ride it, what it was telling him. He could feel more acutely the magical fracturing, his daughter’s energy beginning to rip from his, to tear.

“Good, Ienzo. Keep going.”

It was exhausting, the agony threatening to reach a fever pitch; he thought he might faint--

“Remember to breathe.”

He realized he hadn’t been, and the blackness retreated--

“It’s okay, Ienzo. Again. It’ll be over soon.”

The rest of his body felt limp, strange. The pain gutted him, rose and burrowed and rose--

“She’s crowning, Ienzo, she’s almost here--”

“Whoa, I can  _ see  _ her head.”

The agony swallowed him whole, pulling against his whole  _ being _ , his magic shredding--

_ No, wait, don’t go-- _

And he felt her pull free.

The pain eased so suddenly he wasn’t sure if it had ever been there, replaced by a strange… almost  _ pleasure _ , a warmth soothing his stomach, his vagina. He flopped onto his back and sagged weakly against Demyx, breathing hard. The magic was loud, was everywhere--

“She’s here, Ienzo. She’s here.” He thought he saw Even smiling.

His daughter was placed against his chest and he grasped at her, cradling her bloody head. Demyx kissed his cheek, her head. She gasped and cried-- “Oh, god. Oh, my god. Hi. Hello.”

A snip of scissors against the umbilical cord. The snip brought him fully back to his senses, to the baby in his arms. “Welcome back,” Even said softly. 

“The magic--” It was all around them, making things almost purplish, faint flickers of light popping around the room. 

“Don’t worry about that. You’re not quite done here. Demyx, take the baby, please.”

Demyx wrapped her gently in a towel and took her into his own arms. Ienzo saw his eyes and knew he had fallen in love.

Compared to the rest of it, delivering the placenta was easy; almost, in fact, pleasant, though Ienzo had heard stories that this was the most painful part. Even disposed of it quickly. “You’re already healing,” he said softly. “You’ll be alright in a few days, I’m sure of it.”

He let his legs ease down and lay back more fully against the pillows. Demyx was cradling her, singing softly in a language Ienzo did not recognize. 

“Let me tell the others the good news,” Even said. He took off his gloves. Ienzo could see the  _ pride _ in his eyes. He kissed Ienzo’s sweaty forehead. “You rest a moment. I’ll get you some water.”

Demyx perched next to him on the bed. He’d wiped the fluids off her. Sure enough, Ienzo could see the soft tuft of violet-silver hair. “You did  _ awesome _ ,” he said.

“It seems my body has some kind of natural… painkiller. It no longer hurts at all.” In fact, even the sweat-soaked sheets felt good against his skin. “Could I--” Demyx eased her gently into his arms. Ienzo kissed her. He felt tears rush to his eyes, hot. “Oh,” he said softly.

Demyx took one of her tiny fists into his hand. “I know. I… can’t believe it. We made this.  _ You _ made this.”

“I hope we made the right decision.”

“...I think we did.”


	16. Amalia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The child's birth brings an unexpected ally.

Even returned a few moments later with a large glass of water and, of all things, a glass of wine. “It’s… traditional,” he told Ienzo. “Honeyed wine.”

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea for me to drink, if I’m to feed her,” Ienzo said.

“She’s got enough magic in her right now to metabolize what  _ little _ alcohol would reach her.”

“Our powerful ass baby,” Demyx said. 

Even exhaled. “Quite.”

“And of the others?” Ienzo gulped down the water nearly in one swallow. The wine was sweet and made him warm. “The magic, it--”

“Don’t worry about them. Focus on your daughter and rest. I’m sure you’d like to clean up--and we should do something about your bed. Not to mention weigh and measure her."

Ienzo raised an eyebrow. “I can simply  _ shower _ ?”

“You’re already healing. Surely you must feel it.”

"...If you're sure."

Even helped him out of bed and up the stairs. He felt odd… empty, the separation too final. "You're alright?" He asked.

"I think I may be in shock." 

"Startlingly fast." Even sighed. "I'll get you some clean things to change into. Take your time."

Ienzo… took a shower.

It was the first time he'd seen his body postpartum. His stomach was still somewhat distended, but already, he suspected, slimming to what it would be with the weight he'd gained with the pregnancy. He was sweaty, and there was a burst blood vessel in his right eye that was healing too. Ienzo considered himself. “I had a baby,” he said out loud, just to hear it, and bit his lip. He laughed a little. He was a parent. Downstairs, with his soulmate, was their living daughter, that had been in his body.

The hot water should  _ not _ have felt as good as it did, and he moaned out loud. He washed himself clean. Just inside the door, Even had left pajamas and a thick menstrual pad. Ienzo sighed; he knew this was part of it. He dressed and returned downstairs, wincing on the steps. Demyx was still singing softly. The sheets on Ienzo's bed had been changed. Ienzo was surprised at the intensity with which he wanted to hold her, his breasts aching. "That may have been the best shower I've ever taken."

"Better?"

"Much."

"She's three and a half kilos exactly," Demyx said proudly. "Fifty-three centimeters. Someone ran out and got diapers."

Ienzo sat back down gingerly. The baby began to snuffle, and then cry; the aching worsened. "I think she's hungry. Give her to me." He unbuttoned his top and brought her to his chest. She latched on almost instantly. Ienzo shuddered as the milk began to flow.

"Does that hurt?" Demyx asked.

Ienzo sighed. "Would you believe me if I said it feels good?" 

"I'm just surprised you wanted to do it this way."

"It's apparently...very good for us in particular."

"The magic?"

"...Yes. I'm… ambivalent to the actual functions of my body. I'm more resentful of the expectations forced onto them." The baby ate eagerly. "I can… make concessions for this." 

"I just… can't believe it." Demyx stroked her head. "But at the same time… it feels like she's always been here."

"I'm still in shock, honestly." She seemed to have finished, falling back to sleep against Ienzo's chest. "In your… dream. Did she have a name?"

"No. You?"

"...No." He considered her. "We're… parents, Demyx." 

He kissed him. "We are. You need rest, Ienzo. You must be exhausted. You had a  _ baby. _ "

"Yes… I… well." 

Demyx settled down next to him and pulled up the covers. "I'll wake you if she gets hungry." He blew out the candle and took off his shirt, holding their daughter against his chest. “What? Isn’t skin-to-skin good?”

“It… is.” He yawned.

“Ienzo, please sleep.”

He did; he couldn’t help it. The birth exhausted him and he slept so heavily there was just darkness until he heard the baby cry. Milk beaded along his nipples. He stirred groggily; in the semidarkness he could just barely see Demyx and Even, heard their soft voices. 

“...Passed out immediately.”

“You’d be tired too, if it were you.”

The crying continued. He tried to sit up, his core protesting. “Is everything okay?”

“Your daughter just wants milk. I wanted to make sure she was feeding properly.” Even eased the warm little bundle in his arms, and like last time she started suckling instantly. 

Ienzo drifted in and out as she fed, not helped by the gentle pleasure of it; distinctly nonsexual, but enjoyable nonetheless. It was very much soothing. He burped her when Even told him to, half asleep.

“Never seen him so out of it… it was weird.”

“...He’ll be back to himself once he’s gotten some rest,” Even said softly. “Once the spell wears off--” When the baby was done she was taken away, and he felt a wave of coldness wash over him, almost--but not quite--bringing him fully to consciousness. Between the summer heat and the exertion it actually felt quite nice. Everything felt nice right now, the sheets, the feeding, the memory of his baby in his arms.

“What--” Ienzo mumbled.

“Just checking on you, child. Relax.”

He’d just fallen back deeply into sleep when he heard the door.

Adrenaline woke his magic, still potent post-birth, bringing him back into consciousness. 

Someone had left the lamp on. Demyx was unconscious next to him, deeply asleep, their squish-faced baby against his bare chest. Had Even slammed the door too hard by accident? He sat up and reached over to stroke her head once. He was again thirsty; he may as well get some water while he was awake. 

Then he saw the crumpled mass on the floor. Even was unconscious as well, his blond hair in a pool around his face. Ienzo nearly screamed and clapped a hand over his own mouth. He forced himself to his feet and lurched over to Even, checked his pulse. He was just… asleep. But Even would not  _ make _ the decision to sleep on the floor, not when there were chairs in this room.

And the door had slammed…

Someone was in the house.

Slowly, he crept towards the stairs. He was sore, despite the magic healing him; he winced as he climbed the stairs. The back door had been left open. Ienzo followed. The brightness of wards was obvious, but eerily, there was no one there; no one, of course, aside from the head of glowing blue hair. Ienzo opened his mouth--

“Don’t scream,” Saïx said. “Peace, your highness. Peace.”

Ienzo’s mind was spinning.  _ Scary man, _ he remembered from the Forecast.  _ Friend coming to you. _

He looked a little worse for the wear; his hair mussed, his face bruised, his suit torn. He clutched his side; blood oozed through his fingers.

“What do you want, Saïx?” he asked, coldly.

“I felt your… magic. It seems congratulations are in order.”

Ienzo let the magic hum along his skin. “You cast a spell on a newborn baby,” he spat. “I should rip you limb from limb. I  _ can _ .”

He held up both his hands. “Of that I have no doubt. I promise you I did nothing to the child. I… surrender myself to you. I come in peace. I know you have no reason to believe me.”

“What do you want?” he asked again. “To get through the wards… what have you done to my friends?”

“Your  _ friends _ are safe. They’re simply asleep. I would like to talk to you… your highness.”

Ienzo realized he didn’t know his name. He intended on keeping it that way. “About what?”

“I… I don’t wish this to be my legacy,” he began. Ienzo could see his glowing gold eyes. “I no longer wish… to be his puppet. More than anything… I’m sick of the darkness. I want to be whole again.”

His aura told him that Saïx was telling what he believed to be the truth. “But why now?”

“I’ve been trying to contact you for months. Even before… all this.”

Ienzo thought of the night at the club… “Then why did you attack us when we fled the other city?”

“I could not yet resist what had been done to me… but I… learned. Please. I wish to help you. Xehanort is a snake swallowing his own tail,” Saïx spat. “He will destroy us with the darkness… and the darkness will destroy him. I… thought darkness was power. But look at me.” He laughed darkly. “Where did it get me?”

"Why should I believe you?"

"You can sense I'm telling the truth. I know."

"Saïx--"

"My name is Isa."

"Then why--"

"He makes us take on new names. Anagrams them."

"Why would you betray him?"

He smiled tiredly. "I'd rather die for a good cause than die senselessly."

Ienzo took a tentative step forward. "Are you… wounded?" If he were hurt, Ienzo definitely had the upper hand, despite being immediately postpartum. 

"He does not like… defectors." He chuckled softly. "But I was not followed, if that's what you were wondering." 

Ienzo watched him bleed against the grass. "I can heal you."

"I'm aware."

"If I do--swear to me you will cause no harm."

"I swear."

He meant it. Ienzo exhaled. "Come on, then." 

Isa followed him back into the living room. Ienzo told him to lie down; he did so. He held his hands over Isa. The wound was rather grave; if not for Ienzo he would likely have bled out. This, believe it or not, was good; saving his life meant Isa would be indebted to him, and he seemed the kind to respect that. He healed it quickly. "Sleep," Ienzo whispered; Isa slipped immediately into unconsciousness. He dragged him over to the couch and bound him magically. He was beginning to cramp by then, his exhaustion becoming overwhelming. 

He found Aeleus unconscious near Dilan at the property line; he woke them both with a lucidity spell. "Ienzo," Aeleus gasped. "Where--oh--I am so sorry. What happened?"

"You were hit with a particularly potent Sleep spell," he explained. "There is a… situation, in the living room."

Aeleus grasped his shoulders. "You're alright? The child is alright?"

"She and Demyx are sound asleep."

Dilan dusted himself off. "A little girl?"

"Yes."

He smiled a little. "To think you'd be a parent before any of us."

"...Quite."

"What is this situation?" Aeleus asked.

Ienzo explained. "He seemed to believe what he said--moreover, he owes me now. Do with him what you will--but do not harm him."

Dilan scowled. "The fool. Ienzo, I know you are exhausted--perhaps you might be--"

"Wrong?" He raised an eyebrow. "My magic is still powerful from the birth. I trust it."

Aeleus sighed. "Then we should trust him. Go rest, child. We'll take it from here."

This handled, Ienzo hobbled back downstairs. Demyx and the baby were still asleep, and he soon followed.

* * *

Ienzo woke every few hours to his daughter's cries; he fed her twice and Demyx changed her. There was still warmth in his body, healing him from the birth; Ienzo kept sleeping. He was so tired, and the feedings lulled him too. He dipped in and out for an unknown amount of time, woken only by the baby being pressed against him or taken away. When he finally regained consciousness fully, he was still sore, but less horrifically.

"How are you feeling?" Demyx asked. He'd dressed their daughter in a yellow onesie. He was still cradling her. 

"Better," Ienzo said. "Sore, but I'll manage."

"Good. ...I think someone wants breakfast."

"Something we have in common." He took her against his breast. "You should know… Saïx arrived last night."

Demyx flushed. "That asshole?"

"He was here to surrender himself. He was gravely wounded; he owes me a debt. And I intend to collect. He will not harm our baby."

A hot anger flooded Demyx's eyes; he grit his teeth. Ienzo had never seen that look before. Frankly, it was terrifying. "Like hell he will. I'll--" He cut himself off before he could say something violent in front of the baby.

"...And I'd help." Ienzo burped her. 

He sighed. "Right. So, breakfast. What do you want? You haven't eaten since she was born."

And Ienzo was feeling it. "Pancakes. Bacon. So many carbs."

He gave him a small salute. "On it."

Ienzo followed him upstairs. He almost didn't want to set her down. Isa has been removed, detained elsewhere, he suspected, so they could have peace. Even sat at the table with his head in his hands, but when he heard them he perked up. "Are you alright?" Ienzo asked.

"Sleep spells always give me a horrific headache," he muttered. "Never mind that. How are you?"

"Better. Starved."

"Well, you're still eating for two." He got up and crossed over to him. "Is she feeding?"

"Quite well."

He stroked her small head once, something hazy in his eyes. "Seems like yesterday this was you."

The smell of frying bacon practically made Ienzo weak at the knees. "It must."

"May I?"

"...Yes."

Even took her gently into his arms. "I am much too young to be a grandfather." 

Ienzo sat gingerly. His uterus was beginning to cramp in earnest now; only a pale shadow of yesterday's pain, but nonetheless not pleasant. Demyx gave him water, juice; he drank it all down and then some. He had to restrain himself from eating too quickly when the food was finally placed in front of him. "To think, only a little over twelve hours ago I began laboring in this same chair."

"...Quite." Even bounced her gently. "It seemed to go as well as it could've--for that, I'm grateful."

"Please give everyone my sincerest thanks."

"Yeah," Demyx said. "Really."

"They've all been messaging me all morning, asking about you and the baby."

Demyx gave him more food when his plate was clean; Ienzo kept eating. "And… our friend?"

"Being kept in that hellish unit across town."

Ienzo nodded. "In the Forecast… our daughter mentioned… an unexpected ally. A  _ friend _ ."

"...That occurred to me too." Even exhaled heavily. "I suppose… there are stranger bedfellows."

"He was wounded. He owes me. I should--speak with him."

His head snapped up. "Ienzo, your sole job right now is to rest and learn to be a parent. I know you probably  _ feel  _ fine, but you said yourself--you were in labor twelve hours ago."

"I'll teach him how to chill," Demyx said. "We'll be okay."

Even nodded. With something like regret, he gave the baby back to Demyx. "I should check on the situation.  _ You _ go back to bed and stay there."

Appetite sated, Ienzo did. The magic was starting to wane, and he was again tired. He and Demyx cuddled with their daughter. Something had changed in him, Ienzo realized; something had become serious, shifted in his eyes. Grown up. "Did you tell your parents?"

Demyx hardly spoke about his adoptive parents; Ienzo found it odd, considering adopted children were almost always wanted. He'd gathered from faint whispers and from Riku that, while his mother had been accepting of the whole magical thing, she wasn't so accepting of her son's sexuality. So Ienzo's pregnancy had initially excited her--until she learned he wasn't a woman.

Demyx took the baby's hand; it closed around his finger. "They're glad you and the baby are healthy. But they… don't care about meeting her. Or you, for that matter."

Ienzo sighed. "I'm so sorry." He wondered if their tune would change if they knew of his lineage.

He shrugged, though Ienzo saw the flicker of pain. "I don't mind holding my distance. I have you; I have her. That's all that matters." A pause. "I feel like… I was  _ meant _ to be her dad, you know? And yeah, it terrifies me. I've been afraid from the minute we decided to do this. But that dream…"

"What did she show you?"

"That we're gonna  _ crush _ it." He kissed the baby's head. "Doesn't she smell good?"

"She does," Ienzo conceded, brushing a finger across her cheek; she snuffled. "What should we name her?"

"I dunno. She's the princess--isn't it a big deal?"

Ienzo realized he had seen the baby purely as  _ theirs _ . But she was the heir; royalty. He laughed a little.

"What's so funny?"

"I gave birth to the princess in an unfinished basement."

"...Hey, we made it pretty homey down here." A pause. "Does that make me royalty?"

"You'd be considered my consort, so in a roundabout way, yes."

"...I like that." He kissed him. "You mean in another life we would've been rich? Ugh."  He smiled a little. "I was thinking…" The baby blinked stiffly. "Amalia."

"Why, pray tell?"

"She's a figure from our heritage. She was the one who freed us from the rule of the land, the word of the gods."

"...A liberator?" He nodded once. "Yes. That's it." 

"Little Ammy. Lia. Li-li. Maya." 

Ienzo chuckled. "Let her learn her name, before you nickname her."

"I can't wait to take her to the ocean."

"Will she… be able to transform?"

Demyx shrugged. "I have no idea," he said softly. "I haven't even been able to try myself since I got my power. But if she takes after you…" He furrowed his brows. He very gently took the baby-- _ Amalia _ \--from Ienzo, unbuttoned the top of her onesie, and turned her onto her belly.

"What are you doing?"

He took out his phone and turned on the flashlight. He shone it on her shoulders. "...Huh."

"What?"

"Look. That iridescence. They're her fledgling scales. I had them too. They'll be really small, and rub off."

"...Will it hurt?"

"It'll itch." He redressed her and laughed a little. "My fishy."

"...I never noticed them on you."

"They shed, like skin. When I lost my power… they fell off, and never came back." He settled her against his chest. "I love her so much it  _ hurts. _ "

"...Me too."

* * *

As natural as it felt, there was still some adjusting when it came to parenting; Amalia did not cry much, but when she did it was piercing. He and Demyx took her night feedings in shifts; Ienzo was soon able to strain off the excess milk he made for the freezer. Demyx worked; Ienzo cared for the baby. He was afraid to leave the house with her, lest they be attacked; Even only enabled his paranoia. But finally Demyx coaxed him into a walk in the park, and when there were no Heartless, Ienzo relented.

How odd, to simply  _ be a family. _ People would smile at him and the baby in public; it took Ienzo too long to realize it was just because of the baby, and not because anyone recognized them. Perhaps she had inherited Demyx's charm; perhaps it was because she was an adorable newborn. 

About a week after she was born, Ienzo insisted on seeing Isa.

He was doing better now; in fact, he seemed to have gained some weight. Ienzo noticed for the first time the scar on his face; he must've put it there the day they fled to Twilight Town. He’d been too exhausted the last time they’d met. He was reading calmly when Ienzo was ushered in. "You look well," he said. 

"Are you comfortable?" Ienzo asked instead.

"Quite--I am--very well protected." His lip curled. 

Ienzo sat on one of the chairs. "You owe me a debt."

"I do."

"I intend to collect."

"Then tell me how I can pay. I've already told the guardians of yours all I know."

"Such as?"

"This is more than just human experimentation. Xehanort attempted--he wants to give everyone magic, with the darkness. Before I met him… I was a normal little boy, albeit one locked into a monstrous form three days of the month. Lately… those enhancements were… redoubled, in a desperation to quash the remaining resistance. Hence… why I could use the power outside the full moon."

"But some people's bodies simply cannot handle magic," Ienzo said. He thought of his eye, how even he was not immune from this. “Not to that extent.”

Isa sighed. "Yes. In my time… I've seen too much death."

"You said you would rather die nobly rather than senselessly. What about living?"

A sad smile. "Look into my eyes."

Ienzo did.

"See the gold? My--pointed ears? Signs of poisoning--of darkness. Likely within a few years if I do not fall entirely, my cells will begin to break down--degrade."

"Perhaps we could fix that."

"Well--it may prove useful to your research, anyway." 

"So they have numbers, darkness, and magic. What could you provide?"

"Intelligence. ...A double agent."

"You, I presume?"

He shook his head. "I've shot my load--as it were. But I trust this individual."

"And why should I?"

"Because he very much knows who you are--and has not acted on it." He cocked his head. "Have you ever heard of a bar called Seventh Heaven?"

"You know I know. You stalked me there," Ienzo spat. "You mean--the bartender--Luxord?"

" _ Very _ sharp, your highness. He knows all about all of your friends, too. He does not care about Xehanort's cause; all he wants is his own personal safety… and to see the situation evolve."

"So why would he help us?"

"To see how the game is played." He set his book aside. "I'm also willing to protect your daughter."

Ienzo tensed. 

"I know. Why let me near her?"

"Why indeed." He leaned forward. "Tell me everything."   



	17. Tides of Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo collects on Isa's debt, all the while trying to learn to be a parent. The tenuous peace collapses.

When Ienzo left the apartment two hours later, he was rattled.

He’d known the situation was grave, but he hadn’t known to what extent. They’d  _ known _ that “Ansem” was experimenting on humans, but they hadn’t known  _ how _ . He was quite literally ripping people’s hearts out of their bodies. But, bolstered by darkness, instead of dying… they transformed into shadows. The dungeons in the castle, long unused for millennia, had been renovated and transformed into cells for these… people. The spread had reached Twilight Town because these Heartless, unlike their ordinary counterparts, were able to do this same process to others. Xehanort hoped to use these Heartless to pressure the remaining neutral or opposing factions into giving in. 

Xemnas, the son that had betrayed them, was apparently looking for the real Ansem in earnest. Xehanort was not  _ truly _ aware of Ienzo’s position, if any of what Isa was saying was true--and it felt as though it was. “He didn’t want to jeopardize me again,” Ienzo said softly. “I wish he’d said something.”

“Does he know? About your daughter?”

“I’m not sure.”

Isa brushed a strand of hair out of his face. “She is… powerful, isn’t she?”

“We’re two very old lines.” Ienzo sighed. “But it will be  _ years _ before she can manifest or control that power.” He debated confessing this; but it might warm Isa to him. “When I was pregnant, I Forecasted. She told me she brought you to me.”

“I felt her power when she was born. I think any magic user within fifty kilometers did.”

“What does Xehanort plan on doing with us?”

“Your lines?” he furrowed his brows. “I’m not entirely sure. He would not kill you senselessly, not if you could be… of use.” He drummed his fingers on the cover of the book. There was a substantial pause. “I suspect he wants something else.”

“Like?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard of Kingdom Hearts.”

“...Of course.” Supposedly, it was a bastion of all the gods’ knowledge; but it had been taken from man as a punishment.

“...They seek it. All of them.”

“But how--”

“The tales mention… a key.”

“Surely it isn’t  _ literal _ .”

“He believes it is.”

Ienzo scoffed. “Then how is this key  _ obtained _ ?”

“That… I’m not so sure. There were things he wouldn’t even tell  _ me _ . Only his sons know.”

He sat back in his chair. He’d have to leave soon; his breasts were aching and he hadn’t brought bottles with which to strain off the milk. “So what do you think this Luxord fellow could do?”

“Perhaps help you get ahead of attacks on the bits of light left.”

Ienzo nodded. He stood. “I’ll let the resistance know, to see if they can verify any of this,” he said. “If there is anything that can make your captivity more comfortable, do let me know.”

“...Kind of you.” He picked his book back up. “Give your family my regards.”

* * *

After Ienzo had gotten home and fed Amalia, he told Even what he’d learned. For a moment Even just stared into the middle distance, thinking. Then, a scoff. “No.”

“No, what?”

“No, that sort of thing is…” He hopped up and grabbed a book off of the bookshelf. He flipped through the pages. “A  _ key _ .” Then, he groaned. “Hearts. Light and darkness… now  _ keys _ . The fool is playing into myth.”

“What kind of key?”

“Something called… a Keyblade. But that line was thought eliminated… unless…”

“Unless what?”

Even opened his laptop and typed something rapidly. Then, “ _ Shit. _ ”

Even swore so infrequently that Ienzo’s eyebrows shot up; the baby snuffled and began to cry. Ienzo bounced her a little. “What?” he asked again.

“Well, I know what they wanted the replicas for.” He pressed his palm against his forehead. “They must be trying to engineer the circumstances to get one.”

“Is that possible?”

“Well, we didn’t think Heartless could be made from people, and here we are.”

“If he got this Keyblade, could he obtain Kingdom Hearts?”

“Oh, with ease. In the myths… the thing was  _ locked _ with a blade-shaped key.”

“And if he got it--”

“Unlimited power, yes. Our resistance might as well be ants.” A pause; he took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. 

“Isa claims to have someone on the inside. I wonder… if that would help.”

“It’s better than nothing, surely.”

“Quite.” A sigh. “I’d best pass on this information. Dilan is around somewhere.”

* * *

Ienzo was again nursing when they brought him. Amalia’s scales were coming in in earnest, and true to Demyx’s word, the itching was making her miserable. The salves Even made only helped so much. He was trying to do research of his own, to find out what he could about Keyblades, but it was all so shadowy… hazy, even in their oldest texts. Ansem would know about this, Ienzo thought. He felt someone come into the house. “I feel a glorified milk machine,” he said to whoever it was.

“...I suppose you must.”

Ienzo tensed at the sound of the voice automatically, but then remembering the tentative alliance, relaxed. He turned to see Isa, Aeleus close behind him, and moreover, Luxord.

“I apologize, Ienzo. I should’ve called ahead,” Aeleus said.

“Wouldn’t have mattered. My phone is a paperweight now. Even is out buying a new one.” He sighed. “Amalia’s magic cracked it when she sneezed.” He stroked his daughter’s head and held her a little closer, drawing the nursing blanket over her. He tried to pretend it was a power move, to keep feeding, but in reality he felt exposed, vulnerable. 

“I see congratulations are in order,” Luxord said smoothly. Out of context, he looked different, almost painfully ordinary aside from the many piercings in his ears. “Would you like some privacy? To… er… finish up here?”

“It doesn’t matter to me.” 

Aeleus dragged some chairs over to Ienzo in the living room. “And where is Demyx in all this?” Luxord asked. 

“Believe it or not, working.”

“Someone must, I suppose.” He crossed his legs. “It seems you have a proposition, for me.”

“Apparently you’re a man on the inside.”

“I work in a bar, Ienzo,” he said, with a chuckle. “Alcohol… loosens even the tightest tongues. People tell me their secrets. I keep them.”

“And that includes Xehanort’s allies?”

A sigh. “There are more of them here than you’d might think.”

“So why not sell us out, and make a tidy profit?”

“Money is not a concern of mine,” he said breezily. “The past is as important as the future.”

“Yet, not a direct answer to my question.” Ienzo burped the baby and resumed feeding. 

“I have no desire to cause the direct death of others,” Luxord said. 

“Isa said you like to see the game as it is played.”

A chuckle. “That is apt. Yes. I’m more content watching the tides of time as they flow.”

“So why take an active role now?”

He smiled. “Simply put, if Xehanort is allowed to continue, there will  _ be _ no more time. With the death of natural magic… comes the death of the rest of us. Hence… the importance of the child in your arms.”

Ienzo tightened his grip a little. 

“The lines must be allowed to continue. If there are no more ambassadors to the planet… the house of cards tumbles down… as it were.”

“I thought Xehanort did not want to eliminate us if we could be useful.”

“...But all tools outlive their usefulness, Ienzo.”

“That is true.” He looked towards Isa. “How do you propose we do this, then?”

“It is simple,” he said. “All we do is find someone who is listening… drop some few small choice things… and in he goes.”

“Considering that I do what I do, an easy enough wager.” Another chuckle. “This  _ will _ be interesting, will it not?”

* * *

Luxord left soon after. Ienzo wanted to believe he could keep their secret; he  _ seemed _ to be telling the truth, but Ienzo was also sure that Luxord was deft at manipulating such truth. He’d seen Ienzo with the baby, too. Not exactly reassuring. He couldn't deny she was his when she had been suckling.

“Luxord will not sell out what he finds interesting,” Isa said, as if in response to this. “Seeing that child in your arms only upped the stakes in your favor.” He took a tentative step towards Ienzo. “She is… rather…”

“Perfect,” Ienzo murmured.

“...Quite.” There was a tenderness in his eyes as he looked at her. “Seeker blood, too.”

“What are  _ you _ doing here?”

Demyx startled all of them; the baby, hearing her father, snuffled and cooed.

“Peace,” Isa said. 

Ienzo, again, saw that sharp look of anger; it’d wither plants, he thought. “He was here to sort out the Luxord situation,” Ienzo said calmly. “As I told you. Remember?”

Demyx set down his sitar case. “Get away from my daughter,” he hissed. Isa, out of tact, obliged. Demyx scooped Amalia out of his arms and appraised her.

“You know I would not have let anything happen to her,” Ienzo said. “Take a breath, love. It’s alright.”

“It’s simply instinct,” Isa said. “Seekers would do anything to protect that which they have found.”

Demyx hesitated.

“Well? Wouldn’t you?”

He loosened his grip on the baby a little; she made another small noise. “I would,” he said. “You have to understand that.” His voice was rather soft, but Ienzo sensed the threat. 

“And I do.” A nod. “I’ll see myself out.”

“I understand how you feel,” Ienzo said. “But Isa means us no harm.”

Demyx’s face was flushed, his eyes bright. “After he stalked you for how many years?”

“He could not resist Xehanort’s thrall. He had to learn. Remember the Forecast.”

“What if he gets pulled back under?”

Ienzo sighed. “It’s crossed my mind,” he admitted. “But Even and the others are going to study him. She’s safe, Demyx.” He crossed over to him and touched his cheek. “We’re safe.”

He sighed. “I hope you’re right.”

* * *

Their life fell into a rhythm. Amalia was growing quickly, gaining a decent amount of weight. Ienzo struggled to let her out of his sight, even if she were left with Even or Aeleus. He wondered if this struggle were normal. Aeleus took the baby to the park, supposedly to give Ienzo and Demyx some time on their own, but for the first half hour or so he was too anxious to do anything but fret.   
  
“It has to happen eventually,” Ienzo said to herself. “I won’t coddle her the way Even coddled me, but--”

“I know,” Demyx said. He rubbed his arms. “I’m worried too.” He touched Ienzo’s cheek. “Aeleus would do anything for her.”

“She captivates anyone who gets near her,” Ienzo said, with a sigh. “Though--I suppose she gets that from you.”

He chuckled a little. He leaned forward to kiss him once, and Ienzo found it difficult to restrain himself from kissing back, so he didn’t.

They hadn’t been intimate since early into his eighth month of pregnancy, when everything had become too exhausting and uncomfortable, and to a degree dangerous with his unpredictable magic. Ienzo had tried to pleasure Demyx several times after that, but he claimed it wasn’t fair to him. And since the baby had been born, they’d been too stressed or scattered. 

He felt Demyx’s tongue slide into his mouth, and his pulse quickened. He pulled Demyx closer, down on top of him on the bed, and kissed down his jaw, his throat. 

Demyx exhaled. “I thought you had to wait… six weeks?” His voice hitched a little; Ienzo had begun to rub at him through his pants. "...Fuck."

"Most people do, I suppose. But I healed… quickly." He had; that part of him, at least, was more or less back to normal. "If you're comfortable, that is."

"If I'm…" He barked a laugh. "I just hope I can last." He unbuttoned Ienzo's shirt, slipped off the sports bra he wore now that he was nursing (it was  _ not _ fun to get milk on his clothing, he'd discovered). Demyx pressed his lips against his throat, a lush, electric sensation that made his clit throb faintly. Ienzo reached up to help Demyx undress as well. 

"I've missed you," Ienzo murmured, helping Demyx out of his pants. 

In response to this, he felt Demyx's hand slide down below his waistband and touch him, almost hesitantly. Ienzo gasped out loud. It  _ had _ been an awfully long time. Demyx tugged off his slacks and began to touch him in earnest, working his clit slowly. A want so strong it ached overtook him. Without even breaking away from the kiss, he reached down to take Demyx's dick into his hand.

Demyx moaned, his weight nearly falling onto Ienzo. "Not too much." He leaned down to kiss Ienzo's breast, a sensation that made him squirm with their newfound sensitivity, teasing his nipple, and he was almost sure he could come from this alone--

Demyx laughed a little. "What is it?" Ienzo asked breathlessly.

Demyx dabbed at his mouth. "Your, uh, milk," he said. "I got some in my mouth."

Ienzo smirked. "Maybe save that for our daughter." He considered. "What does it taste like?"

Demyx licked at his lip. "Weirdly sweet," he admitted. "Have you… tried it?"

"Not high on my list of priorities." He sighed. "It's a shame. That felt good."

"...I'll just be careful." He returned to what he'd been doing. 

"My… body," Ienzo said, gasping. "It doesn't--"

"What? Gross me out?" Demyx frowned. 

"The stretch marks--the extra weight--"

"Are because you brought our daughter into the world." He kissed them. "You have never been hotter to me than you are now."

“Do you have any…” He trailed off, unable to catch his breath.

Demyx got off of him. “I think there was some of a box left in my stuff.” Ienzo watched him dig through a backpack. After a moment, he came back with the condom. “What, don’t want another one?”

“I love you, but… hardly.”

A laugh. Demyx kissed him again, his throat. Ienzo put the condom on him. Demyx slipped a finger in him, then two. “You sure it’ll be alright?”

“I’m sure.” He opened his legs a little wider. Demyx guided the tip inside of him with one hand.

“Fuck,” he said again. He pressed into him more, making Ienzo squirm, the ache worsening. He pulled Demyx close. They’d both needed this, he realized, not just physically. Ienzo could not even remember the last time he’d come. Demyx moved against him gently. He was breathing hard, making soft small noises. “Is that--”

“It’s good,” Ienzo assured him. “You can move harder. I won’t shatter.”

He did so. Ienzo squeezed his eyes shut tight, already feeling that lush tightening starting inside of him. Demyx kissed his nipple again, working up along his throat, and he moaned out loud. “New kink?”

“Apparently.” He was gasping. “They’ve been--sensitive--” His hand curled against the sheet. He could feel every subtle move inside of him. “It does feel different--but it’s good.”

“Yeah?”

He could only hum, moving his hips in rhythm with him. “Yes, I--” He choked out a breath. 

“...I’m close already.”

“Me too.” At least they would be efficient. How odd, he thought dazedly, to make love on the same bed he’d given birth. Ienzo grasped at him, pulling him close, grinding hard against him, everything on the verge of giving way. Demyx fumbled for his hand and held it tightly.

Ienzo shivered. It took a moment for everything to begin in earnest, almost hesitantly, opening brightly within him, easing a thick weight of tension.

“Ienzo…” He pressed his face against his shoulder. He felt Demyx finish within him, missing only for a split second when things were raw. He eased out of Ienzo, gasping, and just lay against him. “Fuck.”

“Quite.”

“I… needed that.”

“Me too.” Ienzo stroked his hair, the shorn sides of his scalp. Ienzo could feel the relief more distinctly now, making his joints vaguely jellylike. “We need to… find the time, every now and again.”

He snorted. “Yeah. That was barely five minutes.”

“...Was it?” He looked over at the clock and realized he was right. “To be fair… it’s been nearly two months… and masturbation isn’t exactly on my to-do list.”

“Yeah. Same.”

Demyx got off of him and threw away the condom. He lay back down on his side and kissed Ienzo once. “Are you happy?” Ienzo asked.

“...What do you mean?”

“Exactly that.”

“How can I not be?” He settled back down against the pillows. “We’re together. We have our baby. I have a job I actually love.”

“Despite Xehanort? Despite the darkness? You could be--”

He snorted. “Ienzo, if we hadn’t had the baby I’d probably be doing fuck all. If anything, it was an incentive… to get my shit together.”

“...And be a twenty-three-year-old parent.”

“Better than seventeen. Besides. By the time she’s grown up we’ll  _ still _ be young and hot. That? Is worth it.”

Ienzo cracked a smile despite himself. “A DILF,” he murmured.

Demyx laughed. “Think you’ve already got that covered.”

* * *

Ienzo slept heavily that night, the sex having relaxed him considerably. He woke only to feed and change the baby when it was his turn. 

Until something changed.

It smelled like smoke at first, like perhaps Even had burnt some toast (he never emptied the crumb tray, so it happened quite often; the man hardly cooked for himself). Demyx rolled over, but didn’t wake. 

Ienzo sighed heavily. He got up and mounted the stairs with the intention of telling Even off, because by gods the man had just interrupted the best sleep he’d had since he’d become a father. 

Something felt odd… off. Not quite right. “Even?” he fielded. He wasn’t in his study. No lights on, either. “Aeleus?” He reached out with his magic.

Rather, he tried. But it wasn’t there.

Ienzo barely had half a second to try and comprehend this before he felt something sharp at his throat from behind. He drew a deep breath, and the blade dug in a little deeper, right over his jugular. “Who--”

“Make noise, raise a warning, and I’ll spill your pathetic blue blood all over this inlaid parquet.” He didn’t recognize the voice. A spike of adrenaline made him acutely aware of how  _ naked _ he felt without his magic. He could feel he was being jammed in his right eye, but it felt different than Saïx’s jamming. More insidious, less immediately noticeable.

Ienzo took a breath and tried to compose himself. A gloved hand clutched his shoulder. “Alright. I won’t.” Composed. Composed. “How did you get through the wards?” Had someone betrayed them?

His arm was wrenched behind him. “Walk,” the voice said instead. He sounded young, the hand forcing his gloved and strong. He was what smelled like smoke, Ienzo realized.

Not smoke; darkness.

Wordlessly, he complied, heading out the open front door. He tried to see with his sighted eye if anyone was around--but again, there was nothing, an eerie silence. Ienzo pulled harder within him for magic, but all it did was make him feel weak. “What do you want?” he asked. “I’m afraid I’m useless in this state.”

No response. Ienzo was, rather abruptly, forced to the ground, flat on his back, a boot placing itself against his chest. He writhed, trying to recall what Aeleus had taught him about self defense, but his kicks just glanced off the figure’s body like he was nothing.

Wait-- _ nothing-- _

Something sharp twined against his throat. “Huh,” the figure said. “So it’s true.”

Ienzo tried to pull against it, but it felt like thorns, digging into his soft skin. 

“I was going to ask where she was. I realize now that isn’t necessary.” He flicked back his hood. “Clever.”

“Let me breathe and we can talk.”

The thorns tightened, and Ienzo felt lightheaded. He could so barely see through the hair splayed across his cheek the boy’s silver hair, his  _ gold eyes _ , the dark skin so like-- “My father’s going to be  _ awfully _ pleased with me.” 

Darkness.


	18. Demyx Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Ienzo missing, Demyx has no choice but to take his daughter and run.

Demyx woke suddenly to Amalia’s crying. He groaned and turned over. “Your turn,” he mumbled to Ienzo, but when he didn’t feel weight shift on the mattress, he just sighed and sat up. Ienzo wasn’t in bed; he probably had just gone to the bathroom or something. Amalia kept screaming, high, strange keening. “I’m coming, baby,” he said. “Let daddy wake up first.” He forced himself to his feet and crossed over to the bassinet. He picked her up and checked her diaper--clean. She was hungry. He hefted her into his arms. Her cries quieted, but didn’t cease. “I know, I know.” He went upstairs, groggily. It wasn’t like Ienzo to take so long. He always preferred feeding the baby fresh milk if possible. Whatever. Demyx warmed a bottle, coaxed it into his daughter’s mouth, and tried not to nod off as she fed.

Something smelled like smoke. He rubbed his eyes and crossed over to the toaster, because it was Even’s favorite thing to burn bread. But it was clean, or at least, empty. Demyx wandered around the kitchen, sniffing. The smell seemed to be coming from outside. He burped Amalia and let her keep eating. 

He realized the bathroom door was open. No Ienzo. Had he gone upstairs? But why?

Something was wrong.

Demyx took a deep breath. He set Amalia’s empty bottle in the sink and held her a little more tightly against him. “Ienzo?” he called, bracing himself for Even to yell at him for waking them all up. But it was just silent. “Ienzo?” He took a few steps outside. The grass, well-kept by Aeleus, was smoothed down by the front walk, but the smell of smoke intensified here.

Not smoke. Darkness.

Heartless? But how could Heartless break through their wards? Demyx sighed heavily. “Every day’s a new surprise,” he muttered, and Amalia snuffled as if in reply. He crossed back inside, grabbed some shoes and Amalia’s baby sling, and tied her to him. If the wards had been compromised, best to have her near him. “Where did your daddy go?”

He walked past the property line, but the smell of darkness faded. “Zo?” he called again. “This isn’t funny.”

An unnatural silence. A spike of adrenaline shot through him. He ran back into the yard. “Aeleus? Dilan? Where are you guys?”

He didn’t see them. He didn’t  _ feel _ them. Demyx dashed back into the house, into Even’s study, which at first glance was empty. 

Then he saw the blood, barely visible against the dark floor. His breath caught. “No, no, please, no.” Fear made him quake. He took a few small steps along the trail of blood, holding Amalia so tightly she had begun to protest. He forced himself to loosen his grip.

Even was unconscious under the desk, where he’d been evidently dragged, bleeding from his side. Demyx covered his own mouth to keep from screaming. With a shaking hand, he reached down to feel at Even’s pulse, and breathed a sigh of relief when he was alive. As gently as he could, he dragged him out from under the desk and shoved the chair cushion under his head. “Even? Can you hear me?”

He groaned weakly. Demyx tugged up his shirt, to get a better look at the wound. In his magic training, Ienzo had taught him the basics of healing. He held his hand over the wound. It was no more than a graze, but his head had been hit hard. Demyx dug in their medical supplies until he found the potion and tipped it into his half-open mouth.

This brought him around at last. He coughed. “You alright?” Demyx asked.

Even blinked. He clutched at his head. Demyx helped him sit up. It took him a moment to fully gain awareness, but then he gasped. “No.”

“What happened?”

Even shot to his feet, wavering dizzily, but before Demyx could stop him he’d darted outside. Apprehension tightened into a pit in his stomach, and Amalia began to cry again. Slowly, Demyx followed, and found Even on his knees by the smoothed grass, probing it with his hands. “Even?” Demyx asked. “What happened?”

He didn’t respond. He just punched the dirt, his long hair falling into his face. He was trembling.

“What’s going on?” Demyx asked again. 

“He’s…” He swallowed audibly. “He’s gone.”

It felt like being strangled. “Who?”

“Ienzo. I can’t  _ feel _ him. But his scent, it’s all over this dirt--” Panic had flooded Even’s voice. “With  _ darkness _ , with-- _ nothing.” _ He looked up. “Someone got through… with  _ nothing _ .”

“I… I don’t understand.”

“Nothing, boy, nothing! The type of matter! We’d protected against darkness, but not…  _ nothing _ .” The horror made him look older than he was, and he punched the ground again.

“How do you know he’s gone?” Demyx asked shakily. Amalia was crying louder now, intense, shrill cries Demyx had never heard from her before tonight. He tried to shush her. 

Even bobbed his head towards the baby. “She wouldn’t cry like that if he were in the area. She can  _ sense _ him.”

“What if he just… went…” Demyx didn’t believe what he was saying, but the alternative was falling into a complete panic. “To fight Heartless… he’s going to come back.” 

Even just looked at him wearily. “We need the dog,” he muttered.

* * *

Moments later, the glowing white wolf was at the gate, and before Demyx’s eyes he shifted into a man. Isa. “When did you notice?” he asked.

“I’d… gotten up to feed the baby,” Demyx said. “That must’ve been about two--” Amalia was still crying, cries that hurt him to hear. Even was darting all over the yard, looking for Aeleus and Dilan. 

“...She wouldn’t be crying like that if he’s near.”

“That’s what Even said.”

Isa took a few steps toward the baby; Demyx flinched. “I need to smell her,” he told him. “I can track Ienzo’s scent that way.”

“Do you know what  _ nothing  _ is?” Demyx asked.

Isa’s face turned paler in the porch light. “Oh,” he said softly.

“What?”

He sniffed. “Yes, I… I smell it. I know what happened. Xehanort’s family… they were experimenting with nothing, its entropy... they used it to break through your protection.”

“So they took him?”

“I  _ hope _ .”

“Why would you  _ hope _ ?”

His eyes were drawn. “Better than the alternative. I…” He exhaled, then smelled at the baby. “I’ll scout as far as I can.” His form melted back into the wolf’s and disappeared along the horizon.

Demyx’s knees were weak. He wobbled over to the front steps before they could give out on him. He tried to soothe Amalia, but nothing he said or sang seemed to help. So he had no choice but to let her cry. 

* * *

Demyx felt numb.

He didn’t know what to do other than try to comfort Amalia, as vain as that was. She barely stopped crying other than to eat, though he noticed over time that the cries became quieter, until finally she exhausted herself into a stupor. He was not going to allow himself to panic until he knew what Isa had to say. 

It grew lighter out. Aeleus and Dilan and similarly been wounded, and Even tended to them wearily. He and Demyx drank too much coffee. Demyx tried to force himself to have breakfast, but he just ended up throwing it back up. Like their daughter, he could feel with a certainty that Ienzo was  _ gone _ .

Isa reappeared shortly before dusk, his blue hair glowing in the fading light. Demyx held his breath. “No trace of his scent within my range, nor of the nothing,” he said softly. “They must’ve… teleported somehow. I’m sorry.”

“Where could they have taken him?” Even asked.

“ _ If _ he’s alive,” Dilan said.

“He’s alive,” Even said, too quickly.

“I would assume they’d take him back to Hollow Bastion--what was once Radiant Garden,” he explained. “But going there would be essentially fatal. At least, for you.”

There was a pronounced silence.

“...Unless…” Isa murmured. “Unless I were to… offer myself back up.”

“I thought you’d poisoned that well,” Dilan muttered.

“Perhaps if I explain I owe Ienzo, he would devise a way to use that to his advantage. If I can get  _ close _ … I can get him out. I understand you… don’t fully trust me. But what other options do you have?”

“What indeed?” Even said, his voice hollow. He stood up and brushed off his pants; he was still wearing his bloody shirt. “Either way… we know what we must do.”

“What?” Demyx asked.

Woodenly, he turned towards him. “It’s no longer safe here,” he said. “We must operate under the assumption that Amalia is the last remaining heir to the throne. Her safety must be our priority.”

“But he’s not--”

“We must assume he is,” Even said sharply, though not without pain. “Aeleus, give the resistance a status update. Dilan, you remain here and work things out with the dog. Demyx… we need to get you and the baby ready.”

“For what?”

“For us to run.”

* * *

In a haze, Demyx packed. Over the past ten months this place had become his home. He didn’t know what was important. So he focused on his daughter, but even then. What about her favorite books, did he bring those? The blanket Kairi had made for her? There was only a suitcase between them, not even a particularly large one. Even  _ said _ their things could be arranged for later, but he had no idea if that would actually happen. So Demyx took whatever would make the baby most comfortable and shoved a few changes of clothes for himself in the crevices. Put some photos into his backpack. He knew there was not enough room for the sitar, but he couldn’t stop himself from running his fingers over the varnish anyway. 

He was digging for Amalia’s scale cream when he saw it, lying on top of the dresser--Ienzo’s pendant. He never wore it when he was asleep, claiming he felt choked. It still felt warm.

He broke then, pain and fear and a heartbreak he didn’t know possible washing in all at once; he fell to his knees, unable to bear up against it. He remembered something he and Riku had read in the mayor’s library, about  _ his kind _ , what happened when they lost what they had found--

_ Seekers consider their mates and their offspring priorities, because they are also vital to their mental stability. Those who lose mates often follow soonafter, either through their own hand or a sheer lack of will to live, resulting in what has been dubbed “soul sickness.” _

But Ienzo wasn’t dead.

Amalia, on the bed, was again squalling. Demyx nearly had to crawl to get over to her. He drew her into his arms and couldn’t help but sob for a moment.

“Get it together, yes? We can react later.” Even, if possible, seemed even more hollow than before. “Your daughter needs you and  _ I _ need you not to be a sniveling mess.”

Demyx wiped at his eyes. The man was holding, of all things, a set of clippers. “What’s that for?”

“Your hair,” Even said. “I’m afraid the style is rather distinct and must be made unrecognizable.” He offered them towards Demyx. “I’ll leave _what_ you do up to you, but it must be _ordinary._ You understand? Otherwise I’ll shave you bald myself.”  
  
“A disguise?”

“Of sorts. I’ll watch the baby. Now  _ go _ . We don’t have all night.”

Numbly, Demyx complied. For a long time in the bathroom he stared at the fine blades. Tremblingly, he turned it on. It took a long moment before he could find the nerve to run the clippers along the back of his head, tufts of blonde mullet falling in shivering piles onto the floor. He shaved it down so the lengths matched the sides of his head, strangely dark compared to the normal shade of his hair. Hazily, he swept up the hair, threw it away, showered off the little bits, the remains of the gel. The hair that remained flopped over the side of his head, into his eyes. He hoped this was  _ unrecognizable _ enough. Easier to mourn his hairstyle than anything else. 

Even appraised him warily once he returned. “I suppose that is an improvement,” he said dryly. He handed Demyx a pair of glasses. “Put these on.”

The lenses had no prescription. 

Even took a step back. “Good enough. Get dressed. We’d better leave sooner rather than later.”

“What about the milk?”

“We’re taking it too. I’ve got that handled. Make sure the baby wears a hat.” He was already walking away.

Amalia cried again when she saw him, his silhouette changed confusingly enough for her weak newborn eyesight, but once she was in Demyx’s arms and could smell him she calmed. “I know, baby,” he said softly. He kissed her cheek. “I know. I know.”

Demyx slipped Ienzo’s pendant into his pocket. He took one last look around their room--the place where their daughter had been born--and left.

“Give me your phone,” Even said. 

“Don’t crush it,” Demyx said. “Please--I have pictures of her on it--”

“I’m not  _ crushing _ it.” He took off the case and pried open the back uncomfortably quickly. In front of Demyx’s eyes, he pulled out a small chip from it. “Need to disable the GPS and your SIM card.”

“But what if--”

“What?”

“Someone… needs to reach me?”

Even gave him a droll look. “Which is more important, silly friends or your daughter?”

“Well, her, of course, but--”

Even cracked the SIM card in half. “If you truly need to pass along a message, you can use the resistance network.”

“...How many times have you done this?”

Even was tapping something into the device now. “What?” he asked flatly.

“Just up and ran.”

Even looked up, his green eyes so empty. “You know… I don’t actually recall.”

“That should be everything,” Aeleus said in the same numb tone. “Dilan’s putting the other set of plates on the car, and then he’ll help us leave the city.”

“Good.”

“What about… Isa?” Demyx asked. 

“He’ll meet back up with us at the new location,” Aeleus said. “I’ll be waiting.” He left.

After changing the baby one last time, Demyx strapped her into the car seat. Even just exhaled heavily. “This was supposed to have been different,” he murmured, and got into the car.

Demyx sat in the back with the baby. Even with small magical enhancements, things were cramped. He was handed two passports. “This is the name you’ll use in public,” Even said. “Hers too.”

“...When did you make these?”

“As soon as I was able to get a good enough photo of the baby,” Even told him. 

“Even always has multiple contingency plans in place,” Aeleus said. 

Demyx’s hair had been edited to look  _ ordinary _ . The passport dubbed him Emyd, and the baby, Ava. They were from “Traverse Town? Never heard of it.”

“Yes,” Even said. “Exactly. Now keep the baby quiet and let me work.”

* * *

Amalia, exhausted from all her crying, slept heavily, and despite himself, Demyx did too. He’d taken intro to psychology for one of his gen eds, and one of the things he remembered was that, in times of extreme stress or trauma, some people… simply fell asleep. He was woken gently by Aeleus an unknown amount of time later, handed a bottle of Ienzo’s milk which had been warmed with a spell. “I’m not sure if the baby gets carsick, but best feed her while we’re still.”

Demyx complied. Amalia just blinked, but took it without complaint. “I know, you miss daddy’s booby,” he murmured. “Hopefully we’ll see him soon.”

They just drove. The night seemed to get deeper, the stars, brighter. Demyx drifted in and out of sleep, uncertainly. Finally, they crossed the threshold of a city without border control, a city with bright neon lights and old cobble roads and buildings that looked worse for wear. They ended up parking in front of an old motel complex that had been turned into apartments, its sign flickering. Some of the cars in the lot were rusty, old. Even took a key out of a manila envelope and unlocked the door. 

The place clearly hadn’t been seen in a long time. It smelled musty and stale. Demyx could see where rooms had been clumsily added, and the furniture--Mid-Century modern and wrought-iron beds-- was covered in old sheets. Even began warding the doorway, and Aeleus took in their few things. 

It was a two bedroom apartment, railroad-style, the orange streetlight shining straight into the farther bedroom. Demyx pulled the dusty curtains shut; Amalia sneezed gently. He took the cooler which contained bags of Ienzo’s milk and loaded them into the old freezer, which smelled like tuna fish. His hands trembled as he did so.

_ Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay. _

He also knew Ienzo would fight tooth and nail if he were physically able to. But what if he--

Demyx felt Aeleus’s large hand pat his shoulder once. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to; his sad blue eyes said it all. “There are clean linens in the vacuum sealed bags in the closet,” he said instead. “I’m sure you must be exhausted.”

“What about you? You were driving all night.”

He shrugged. “I’m used to it. We can clean tomorrow.” 

* * *

Like Twilight Town’s perpetual sunset, Traverse Town had perpetual night, strange heavy wards which  _ kind of  _ worked. Being nightlocked did strange things to Demyx’s body, making him constantly groggy. He’d always been a morning person. Isa kept searching for Ienzo, but any leads he had ran cold; Even’s lie-detecting magic showed the man was being truthful.

Honestly? Considering that before someone had been able to break through their wards, Demyx felt much more at ease knowing he was around. Not that he’d ever admit it. He accompanied Demyx and Amalia on their daily walks, though they didn’t talk much. Between Even's stressed silence, Aeleus’s natural propensity not to speak much, and Demyx’s ambivalence towards Isa, he found himself talking more and more to the baby, especially as his hope began to dwindle.

They’d gone out grocery shopping. The people in Traverse Town were more haggard than Twilight Town, always looking over their shoulders. “Everyone’s so tense,” Demyx murmured, wiping a drop of drool from Amalia’s face.

“This is a place of refugees,” Isa said to him. He was tossing an apple restlessly from one hand to the other. “I grew up here.”

“You did? You never mentioned that.”

“You never asked,” he said levelly. “You don’t hesitate to hide your disdain. Why should I volunteer anything?”

Demyx sighed. “I don’t… hate you. It’s just that Ienzo… told me so many stories.”

“I regret it deeply,” Isa murmured. “You have to understand. It was like… I was in my body, but I was not the one controlling it. The darkness drowned out all reason.”

“So how did you learn to fight it?”

“It took a long time. I forced myself to… really look at my actions, to… remember who I was once, before all this. What I used to be capable of. My… best friend.” A dark chuckle. “I wonder where he is now. What he’s up to.”

“What was his name?”

Isa canted his head a little. “Lea.”

Demyx snorted in disbelief. “As in L-e-a, not L-e-e?”

“Yes?”

“Isa, we went to college together. At Twilight Town University. He was in my graduating class. He studied theater.”

Isa smiled, the first genuine one on him Demyx had ever seen. “Of course he did,” he murmured. “Small world.”  
  
“I’d give you his number--but Even would probably kill me.”

“I don’t deserve to see him. Not yet. I… have a lot to atone for.”

They walked in silence for a moment. “Why’d you do it?” Demyx asked. “Join him?”

Isa considered. He folded his hands behind his back. “To say I came from a bad home is putting it mildly,” he admitted at last. “My mother died young, my father turned to hard drugs. The usual sordid tale.” An eye roll. “And once I hit puberty, all bets were off. Every full moon, I would involuntarily transform into a monster, a form I could not control. As the situation… devolved, I so  _ happened _ to run into “Ansem.” I had no idea what  _ this _ mess signified.” He touched a strand of his hair. “He offered me a chance to learn to control myself, a place where I could live safely. How was I to know that was wrong? But, Demyx, all this suffering. All this death. What’s it for? We deserve… better.” He looked at Amalia. “Especially her.”

“Yeah. We do.”

* * *

The days passed, one after another, almost endlessly. Amalia began outgrowing all of her clothing, began smiling, laughing. It just made Demyx’s heart break all the more to know Ienzo wasn’t there to see it. So he took photos and videos.

Too soon, they ran out of breastmilk. Demyx bought formula, tried to get Amalia to drink it, but she just pushed the bottle away, or spit it right back in his face. He let it go for a feeding or two, figuring if she got hungry enough she’d drink it anyway, but he began having to actively wrestle the bottle into her mouth. “Come on,” he murmured. “ _ Eat, _ please.” He went out and bought another kind of formula, but she wouldn’t eat that either. Was it too warm? Too cool? Not concentrated enough, too strong? Maybe it was making her nauseous? He should’ve mixed the last bag of milk with the formula. He gave her some flat ginger ale, and she drank that all down. But she wouldn’t. Eat.

He could barely sleep that night. She wasn’t crying, but she seemed more lethargic than usual. Was she really sick? She had no fever, but she was clammy. He tried giving her a bath, some tummy time, as though the stimulation would give her appetite back. But she kept refusing the formula. She drank the juice he gave her, so she was getting  _ some _ calories, but something had to give.

The evening of the second day, he was exhausted, anxious, and near tears. Even came back into the apartment and raised an eyebrow. “What’s the matter with  _ you _ ?” he asked.

The tears overflowed. “She’s not eating,” Demyx said. “I tried three different kinds of formula--but she just won’t--she spat it up on me, look at my shirt. It’s been almost two days, Even, I don’t know what’s wrong with her, if she’s sick, she’s going to  _ starve _ .”

Even’s harsh gaze softened. “Ah,” he said softly. “I know what’s wrong.”

“I’m a shitty dad.”

“No, you aren’t.” He went over to the kitchen, opened the cabinet, and pulled out a bottle of honey, of all things. He added a spoonful to the bottle Amalia had rejected, heated it back up, shook it well, and presented it to Demyx. “Try this.”

He did. Amalia began  _ chugging _ it down so quickly Demyx had trouble getting her to stop long enough to burp. “What--”

Even sat across from him at the table. “Ienzo’s mother had the same problem when she was weaning him,” he said, his eyes hazy with memory. “Royal milk, for whatever reason, is  _ incredibly _ sweet. Some kind of compound that’s good for the magic. As well-intentioned as you were, I’m sure to her you might as well have been feeding her lemon juice. Just add some honey to the formula, and begin lessening the amount over the next few days. She’ll be right as rain.”

“Oh,” he said, sniffling. He remembered the last time he’d made love to Ienzo, when he'd accidentally tasted it. The tears still were running down his face, salty. “Even, I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You  _ can _ because you have to,” Even said firmly. “It hurts. I know it must hurt more than you can bear. It hurts me, too. I  _ raised _ him, Demyx, he’s my son. But Amalia needs you. You can’t fall apart. She can’t lose both of you. Understand?”

He nodded. Even handed him a napkin, and he mopped at his eyes. 

“You look exhausted,” Even said, a bit more gently. “I’ll watch Amalia, if you want to get some sleep. And you should shower. You smell like spit-up.” He crossed over and took her into his arms. “We’ve gotten through worse.”

_ How _ , Demyx nearly asked, but then he remembered that Even had once been Radiant Garden’s surgeon general and head researcher, working under his dear friend Ansem, along with all of his  _ friends _ . He wondered how much of Even’s harshness came out of a desire to push others away before he lost them, too. “Thanks,” he said.

Even kissed the baby’s head. “She  _ is _ my granddaughter.”

* * *

Time began to pass. Isa often left on long excursions to search for Ienzo, but it got to the point where each and every time he came back with no new information, and Demyx tried to stop letting himself hope. 

Every few weeks, they would move to a different safe house. They stayed in hotels, trailers, empty apartments, old houses. One week they camped inside an old mansion, and Amalia fell asleep to the sound of raindrops pattering on their tent. 

The countrysides were safer, but the cities had resistance contacts, who were doing their own part to try and find Ienzo. Luxord the bartender had gotten into contact with Xehanort’s forces, but of course they wouldn’t tell him anything. “I’ll keep trying to climb the ladder,” he said, over a hazy phone call. “But no more than whispers ever reach the bottom rungs.”

Demyx missed his friends. He missed Riku’s dry insults and Yuffie’s obnoxious brashness, Lea’s terrible jokes, Roxas’s worst moods. He missed Sora, Riku, and Kairi’s gross flirting.

More than all he missed Ienzo. It was a longing so intense it was almost a physical  _ ache _ , and sometimes he couldn’t help but break down whenever he had a moment to himself. He took to wearing the second pendant as well. It still glowed faintly. He hoped that meant Ienzo was still alive. 

Amalia grew. Before long she was able to support her own neck, roll over. She discovered she could see herself in mirrors and would stare for hours, though Even insisted she could not yet recognize it as herself. She began making small vocal noises, and her hair got longer. She played with her hands and feet. When she was two months old she caught her first cold, and while Even said it was mild, Demyx didn’t sleep for the better part of three days. Her smile could light up the room; she could coax one even out of Isa.

Demyx realized, as time passed, that Isa had become his friend, had become trusted. He had no issues leaving Amalia with him for short periods of time, except during the full moon when he was still locked into wolf form. The baby found this amusing, crawling all over him, tugging at his tail, but Isa would do no more than sigh heavily and flick the tail around for her to play with. 

Amalia began manifesting small signs of magic. Once, she sneezed on Demyx and gave him freckles that lasted nearly a week. Even was giving her a bath and discovered her laughter could make the water move (he told Demyx this sopping wet, unhappy). Aeleus took her for a walk and found to his horror she had worked her way out of the papoose and was floating steadily upwards. It became habit to tie her down with a thin silk cord whenever they went outside.

Winter came. It got colder. Demyx missed Ienzo.

Isa was able to teach him a spell to put his sitar into a sort of pocket dimension after it finally arrived, so he could take it with him everywhere. Demyx was so grateful that he hugged him; the gesture surprised them both. Those days were so full of music that Even eventually had to snap at him to quiet down so he could get some research done. Amalia loved every minute, making tiny humming noises. 

They were staying in a house on the northern coast when they heard the knock. These moments never became less tense, even though they were usually just housekeepers, or door-to-door salespeople, or, even more rarely, a member of the resistance. Demyx looked through the peephole and saw a man with an eyepatch--and a gold eye. He covered Amalia’s mouth to keep her from making noise. “What?” Isa mouthed. Demyx bobbed his head towards the door. He just sighed heavily and approached. Then, “Xigbar?”

“Come on,” he said. “I just wanna talk.”

Demyx grabbed a hat out of the diaper bag and pulled it hurriedly onto her head. He began backing towards the door, slowly. Even came down the stairs in his usual distracted huff, but then, “Braig?”

“You know him?” Isa asked.

“Even. Long time no see.” A wicked smile. 

Even hesitated.

“I just wanna talk,” the man reasserted. “Aw, who’s the little cutie?”

Demyx held the baby more tightly. 

“My nephew and his daughter,” Even lied smoothly. “We’re staying with him for the moment.”

The man--Braig? Xigbar?--sighed. “Bullshit. Why on earth is Saïx with you? Come on, Ev. We’re old friends. I come in peace, okay?”

Slowly, Even opened the door. “Xigbar,” Even said slowly. “Sold your soul to a demon, then?”

“It’s complicated.” He sauntered over to the kitchen table and sat without being invited. 

“How complicated could it possibly be?”

Isa crossed back over to Demyx and the baby. 

“I got clout with the old man,” Xigbar said. He picked up an orange from the fruit bowl on the table and twirled it idly. “Earned his trust for twelve years. Worked my way up.”

Panic began to overtake Demyx in earnest. Had they been found out? How?

“But I’m playing a bigger game, Even. I don’t give a shit about the darkness. So for him to win… well. We’d all be dead, and what then? Nothing can rise from the ashes if there’s  _ nothing _ left.” A sigh. “Long and short way of saying I know where your boy is.”

The words left Demyx without his permission, his  _ soul _ crying out. “He’s alive?”

A chuckle. “Boy, is he,” Xigbar said smoothly. “Speaking of games… not sure what  _ that _ one is trying to pull… or if he’s really brainwashed… or if he submitted just for the sake of…  _ that _ .” He gestured to the baby.

Even had turned red. “How’d you--”

Xigbar just looked tired. “Like I said. I hear things.”

“What did he do?” Even asked.

“He’s helping the old man. Last I heard he’s been going by Zexion.”

Even staggered as though he’d been punched. “But--how--why--”

A shrug. “The son named Ansem has done all sorts of crazy experiments on people.  _ Loves _ to torture. But you’d know that, wouldn’t you?” He locked eyes with Isa. “Listen, I wouldn’t put it past the princeling to be running some kind of gambit of his own.”

Even frowned. “So why tell us all this? What does it accomplish?”

“Because if you need a way in, I’m it,” Xigbar said, as though it were obvious. “I’m tired of playing along. Maybe it’s time to change the game.”

Even’s face went blank for a moment. Then, slowly, “how soon can you get us there?”

* * *

Demyx hadn’t thought that it would be winter when he first took his daughter to the sea. Too cold for her to touch. Even bundled in layers, it was hard to keep her adequately shielded from the wind. “This is where you and me come from,” he whispered to her, and she cooed. “In the summer we’ll see if you’re a little fishy after all.”

She looked out at it, contemplatively. 

“Her safety, and yours, remains the priority,” Aeleus said gently. “That is to say… not to get your hopes up.”

“In case Ienzo is a brainwashed zombie?” Demyx said dully.

He rested a palm on his shoulder. Amalia reached one tiny palm towards him; he took it. “Have faith in him,” Aeleus said. “But… yes. It is… possible.”

“I’d hoped he was alive, but I…”

“I know,” he said. “I cannot stress this enough--your duty is not to fight for Ienzo. Your duty is to care for Amalia.  _ Especially _ as we go into--”

“Enemy territory?” Demyx took a deep breath. It tasted like salt. “Why have me go with you, then?”

“You’re safer with us than on your own.”

He had a point. He looked back out at the ocean. “Excited to go home?” he asked dryly. 

“It hasn’t been home for a long time.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “Come. We have to catch the ferry.”

Demyx followed Aeleus back up to the dock. Radiant Garden was a city on the water. His own seeker magic was thankfully strong enough to shield Amalia’s, but Isa and Even were forced to find their own way over. No friendly border control guards here.

“We’re to meet someone here,” Aeleus said, taking him aside at the ticket booth. “Though I’ve no idea who.”

They waited as the next two ferries came and went. Amalia, uncomfortable in the cold despite wrappings, squalled a little, and Demyx held her more tightly against his chest. “Did they know we had a baby?” he spat. “She’ll get sick.”

“...If no one shows in a few minutes, you can wait inside the terminal.”

In the early morning fog, Demyx saw a figure emerge with a small suitcase; a tall old man with a thick red scarf draped over his shoulders. His face came into better focus as they both struggled not to react. “...Horrid morning, isn’t it,” Ansem said pleasantly.

“This is a terrible risk,” Aeleus said under his breath. “You mustn’t--”

“My city, my people, my  _ son _ are at risk,” he said, equally as low. “It’s about time I put my own neck on the line.” He turned to Demyx. “Oh.” His eyes softened.

“Had anybody told you?” Aeleus asked.

“No,” Ansem said. “Is this--”

“Our daughter,” Demyx said. “She’s six months old.”

“Oh,” he said again, his eyes watering. “Her… name?”

Demyx mouthed it. “She goes by Ava outside.”

“Can I… could I--” He held out his arms. Demyx handed him his granddaughter. She settled down against him like she’d known him her whole life. “My son’s a father.”

“He was worried you’d be disappointed in him,” Demyx murmured. “This wasn’t, ah, on purpose.”

“...How could I be disappointed in a face like that?” 

Amalia looked back up and him and smiled. Demyx reached over to wipe away a streak of drool. “She’s getting her first tooth. Chewing on everything.”

“Next ferry is leaving soon,” Aeleus said. “We should go.”

Ansem handed Amalia back to Demyx. “Right. Very well.” He pulled his cap lower over his face. 

They got on the ferry to what was once Radiant Garden.


	19. Lion's Den

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newly a captive, Ienzo tries to learn what Xehanort wants from him, as well as his plans.

Ienzo woke suddenly, flailing against the blankets draped over him. His breasts ached terribly and there were wet spots on his shirt; he must’ve been under for some time. He touched one, wincing.

Xehanort’s son. Strands of nothingness around his throat. Darkness.

Where  _ was _ he?

He was in a small, narrow room. It was minimally furnished--the single wrought iron bed was against one corner, by a narrow window; a small, very old oak writing desk was against the other wall; a squat, two drawer dresser was next to it. The walls were painted a faint violet, adorned with a crown moulding. A cracked door opened to a tiny bathroom with a shower. Ienzo padded across to the other door and tried it; locked, of course. He reached for his magic and found it sluggish, deadened. He darted over to the window, looked outside, and his heart nearly stopped.

Ienzo knew where he was; the castle in what was once Radiant Garden. A strange, faint mist wreathed the city, vaguely sulfuric. Massive poles in the distance held floodlights, likely to defend the remaining populace against Heartless. He opened the window and tried to reach out, but a ward blocked him.

He was a captive.

Amalia.

Panic overtook him then, and he tried the door again in vain, pounding on the thick old wood. “Let me out!” No response; he suspected a muffling charm had been placed on the door. 

He hadn’t realized how dependent he was on her presence, her aura until it was gone. He had to have been drugged somehow, or enchanted, for his magic to simply be sleeping like this. But he hoped more than anything that Amalia was safe back in Demyx’s arms. He found himself mouthing a fervent prayer to whatever was listening for that to be the case. He had no idea what Xehanort or his sons would do to his newborn daughter if they had her. Kill her? Mold her into a shiny tool to use? He had no idea which was worse. 

The door opened, and he struggled to conceal the wetness on his shirt with his blanket. He saw a small old woman with a tray of food, water, tea, and of all things, a lily in a thin crystal vase. “Good, you’re finally awake,” she said. She had a kind smile. “You must be starved, poor thing.”

Ienzo was reeling, wondering how to react, what angle to play. Motionless, he watched her cross the room and set the tray down on the writing desk. He could physically overtake her, he knew, and bound out the open door--unless that was warded too. But how far would he reasonably get before he ran into a guard, or worse? He couldn’t defend himself from prowling Heartless without magic. 

“How are you feeling?” she asked. “I treated those scratches on your throat, the bruises. Just awful, in my opinion.”

“Who are…” he trailed off.

Another smile. She brushed off her skirt; she was wearing what had once been servants’ livery under Ansem’s reign, crisp, comfortable, and functional. “My name is Lydia,” she said. “I’m surprised you don’t remember me, your highness. I was once the castle librarian. You were always there, weren’t you?”

Ienzo blinked slowly; a veil of time and panic made it hard to remember. Lydia had looked much younger then, her hair brown instead of gray. She’d always been happy to give him the books that Even said were too mature for him. “I apologize, I--”

She smiled again. “I know, I haven’t aged well.” A wry laugh. 

He swallowed. “Am I a… prisoner?” he asked cautiously.

“The word being used is “guest.”” She bit her lip. “I think that’s for you to determine, your highness.” She pulled the domed lid from the plate, revealing a breakfast--eggs, toast, hash browns. Ienzo struggled not to react; ever since he’d been breastfeeding, his appetite had been nearly insatiable. “I’ll bring you a change of clothes. Go on, eat.”

She left, and shut the door behind her; Ienzo heard the click of the tumblers as it locked. He approached the food warily, sniffed it. His magic could tell him if it was poisoned, or drugged--except it was dead.

The practical thing to do would be to wait out this sensation until he could sense if anything was in the food. 

But the smell made him  _ weak _ . He’d need food to be able to think clearly, to plan. He sipped the water timidly; it tasted normal, so did the tea. The flavor of the egg nearly brought tears to his eyes. Xehanort must’ve kept the castle’s chefs; it all was the same as he remembered.

_ Focus, Ienzo. _

He was nearly finished when Lydia returned with a small cloth bundle. “Better?” she asked.

“...Quite.”

“Remy heard you were here and made it specially. He so rarely gets to cook the way he wants to anymore. Xeha--er. His Lordship prefers things sour, bitter.”

Specially. What did that mean? “Give him my regards,” Ienzo said in a neutral voice. 

“...Of course.” She reached past him to take the tray. “I’m told someone will collect you in half an hour, if you’d like to shower and dress.”

Ienzo hesitated for a moment. He didn’t want to appear like he was playing into Xehanort’s hands--but maybe he should? To find out what he could? Play innocent, naive, claim Even had been coddling him all this time. 

Either way, he could not go wherever he was going covered in breastmilk. If they didn’t know about his daughter, he couldn’t risk letting them find out. Perhaps the rush of magic from her birth had been confused for a spell of his own creation. And if that were the case... why wait four weeks? To lull them into a false sense of security, he realized equally.

He showered--the water smelled vaguely like iron--and winced, his nipples twinging again as he touched them. Without magic, he couldn’t exactly strain it off into the sink or toilet, despite the relief it would give him. The soap smelled harsh, but at least it washed off the scent of the milk. He washed his stained shirt thoroughly and left it to dry on the towel rack. 

The clothing he’d been left was simple, but rather formal--slacks, a neatly pressed button-up, a white sweater vest, a purple ascot. He combed his messy hair with his fingers. 

And then Ienzo waited.

It didn’t take long before someone came for him. There was a gentle knock at the door, then the lock clicked open. Ienzo tried to keep his expression open, neutral, but it was difficult when he saw their face.

Xemnas. The man had the gall to smile. “Old friend,” he said, in a voice that had only deepened with age. “Did you enjoy your meal?”

_ Definitely _ medicated, Ienzo decided. “Quite. You’ll have to give your father my thanks.”

“You may do so yourself. Would you like to go for a walk?”

Ienzo smiled pleasantly. He followed Xemnas out of the open door. The man was dressed similarly smartly, in a well-tailored black suit with a red tie. He realized he was being kept in the old servants’ quarters, from before Ansem had given them the apartments; his suspicions were correct and a pair of armored guards were at both ends of the hall. 

“Please do not take offense to this,” Xemnas began. “But when my brother brought you in… we were rather surprised. We were expecting…”

“A princess?” He made himself smile again. “I’m afraid that phase of my life was left behind long ago.”

“I’m sure it protected you quite well.”

“Quite.”

Xemnas paused. “No harm will come to you here,” he said. “Be sure of that.”

“That so?”

“My father seeks to earn your trust. I hope it will work in the other direction too.”

“All this talk… I have never actually had the pleasure of meeting your father.” He found himself infinitely glad of the etiquette lessons Even had given him when he was younger. Best be diplomatic for now, until he had more information. 

“I’m afraid outside opinion may have tarnished your view of him.”

Ienzo had to bite his tongue. “...Perhaps.”  
  
They continued walking in silence for a while. Xemnas’s pace was sedate, even relaxed. The faint smell of sulfur was everywhere; Heartless dazedly wandered the halls, but did not come near them. “Our guards,” he explained calmly. “After all, they do not need breaks, nor they need to eat.”

“Practical,” Ienzo said, trying to swallow the horror. 

The castle, to his surprise, was much the same, down to the decorations; the only thing that had been changed was all the crests, away from the violet he’d known under his father, replaced with a deep red with a large X. “The symbol “chi,”” Xemnas told him, “Though some pronounce it “key.””

“...I see.”

He saw a few human servants here and there; they paused to bow to Xemnas as he passed. All the while, Ienzo swallowed the bittersweet nostalgia that threatened to overtake him. Memories stabbed him behind the eyes--here, Braig teaching him to ride the stair bannister; hiding here from Even as he chased him for his lessons; riding Aeleus’s shoulders along this hallway on their way to the gardens. “...Is it good to be home?” Xemnas asked, cutting his gold eyes to Ienzo.

“It certainly is nostalgic.”

“It could be your home once more. Had I… my way, you’d have never been forced to leave.”

He struggled to come up with a response, anger scalding his veins. Had Xemnas kept him here, doubtless they would've used and abused his power. “It seems there was poor communication all around,” he said vaguely. 

“Indeed.”

They reached the throne room at last. Ansem had hardly ever used it in his reign other than for public events; he was much more comfortable meeting dignitaries or the public in his labs, his studies.  _ It makes us more approachable, less mythic, _ he’d told Ienzo.  _ The last thing you want to do is foster a divide between yourself and your people. We are royal, but we are not  _ superior. 

Ienzo’s heart beat heavily in his chest. He tried to keep breathing steadily, aware Xemnas was watching every little twitch of his face.

A pair of guards opened the large, heavy double doors. 

It was just as Ienzo remembered, yet it had been perverted, too. The high, Gothic ceilings with the stained glass, sunlight pouring through; the marble, carved and laid in the shapes of flowers, polished to a shine; the long marble columns, the mural painted on the back wall, of the gods’ first contact with what was considered Ienzo’s first ancestor. The three thrones were the same, too. The middle one, the most prominent and most ornate, was reserved for the ruler, the lesser two for their heir and their consort. 

All three of these thrones were occupied, and the mural was partially covered with another large banner, but this one had a different symbol; a black and red heart with an X crossing through, its bottom flared into a strange parody of a fleur de lis. 

And there they were. The youngest son who had kidnapped him; the eldest son, boredly reading a book. And Xehanort himself.

He was much older than Ienzo thought he would be, in his eighties most likely, his bald head wrinkled, the veins visible. When he stood and spread his arms in welcome, his back was slightly hunched, and his legs were spindly. He took slow, long steps towards Ienzo, and when he got closer, bowed deeply. “Might I say it is an honor to meet at last, your highness,” he began, in a low, scratchy voice that sounded like he’d gargled marbles his whole life. 

“Please, call me Ienzo,” he said. He offered a polite smile. “The pleasure is all mine.”

“Aren’t you a polite young man.” He stood back up. “Ienzo. Is that, perhaps, after the first archmage?”

“The very same.”

“Aren’t names so much more meaningful, when we can choose them?”

He nodded once. He noticed the youngest son was watching him with a wicked smirk; he was petting something. Ienzo thought at first that it may have been a black cat, but the thing lifted its head. A Heartless.  _ A disconcertingly small Heartless. _ He wasn’t quite able to mask his fear. It wasn’t--not--

“Oh, did you see young Xehanort’s pet? Bring it here, would you, son?”

He obeyed. Ienzo tried to keep breathing. It had sharp, long antennae, but it seemed rather content in its master’s arms. 

“My eldest made these,” Xehanort explained, giving the Heartless a stroke. “Pure shadow--and nothing else. We’re hoping to see if they develop sentience, the way our other Heartless have. You’re a man of science, aren’t you, Ienzo?”

“...Quite.”

“Darkness is not quite so evil as you’ve been taught your whole life. Rather… it is one side of a coin. That balance is crucial to all life; one can never hope to crush out all darkness.”

“Do you seek to crush the light, then?” he asked, without meaning to.

Xehanort chuckled. “Of course not,” he said. “Of course not.”

It was the repetition that put Ienzo ill-at-ease. Instead, he just nodded. 

“Darkness gives power, stability,  _ clarity _ . It’s never been fair that your kind has been able to utilize magic, whereas the common folk… cannot. Think of how many fewer people would die of sicknesses, injuries, starvation, dehydration, if they just had the means to… borrow power from the earth.”

“Can the darkness do that?”

“Quite, my dear prince. I’d be happy to show you. But alas, we are only new friends.” He smiled. “I want to make this world  _ better _ . Your father… well meaning as he was, simply could not stop what has been brewing for years. People should be  _ equal _ .”

“And magic is an equalizer?”

“ _ Power _ is an equalizer.” He paused, as thought to let that sink in. 

“...I see.” Scarily, Xehanort had a point. But some bodies simply  _ couldn’t _ handle magic--the entropy and energy alone could kill, or in Isa’s case, degrade. Was that worth it? Was there not another way?

“I hope you’ll come to understand what we’re doing here,” Xehanort said. 

“Perhaps I will.”

* * *

For most of the rest of the first week, Ienzo was kept in that small room. He was allowed out once a day for a half-hour walk with Xemnas. Other than Lydia bringing Ienzo his meals three times a day… Ienzo was alone. He realized that even in their most desperate circumstances, with Even he’d never been  _ alone _ . There was always someone to talk to, scheme with, fight with. 

Ienzo kept trying to use his magic. For three days he flushed his meals down the toilet, hoping maybe it was some kind of drug that would wash out of his system, but nothing came of it and he was only making his own head cloudy. 

His breasts still ached tremendously. He tried to squeeze the milk out, with his hands, but all he did was give himself bruises, his already too-pale flesh marking easily. The omni-present ache made him think of his daughter, the way she felt in his arms, the way she  _ smelled. _ The way it felt when the three of them cuddled together, so perfect, like nothing was missing. Ienzo’s heart felt like it was on fire. 

Demyx. Amalia. Their names echoed constantly in his head, and more than once he woke with tears in his eyes.  _ Please let them be safe. Please. Please. _

Ienzo could not fall apart. He couldn’t afford to. He had to keep his head on straight, to perform, to try to earn Xehanort and his sons’ trust so he could--

Could… what?

Ienzo sat up slowly. He hadn’t been sleeping well, hurting too much inside and out to get much rest. What did he plan on doing, exactly? 

It came to him in a flash--the computer. If he could gain enough favor to get down to that lab, he could contact Tron, who could contact Cid, who could let the others know that he was alive and safe (relatively speaking), and that, more than anything, he had an in--even if it made him seem like a traitor.

Maybe it was time for the prince to come out of hiding.

* * *

He’d just fallen into an uncertain sleep, and dreamed about his daughter. Hefting her up in the air. Kissing the little pads of her feet. The joy, the love on Demyx’s face as he cared for her. When he woke his breasts were hurting more than ever, and again, milk had seeped through the thin pajamas he’d been given.

He heard the click of the lock at the door, and before he could adequately cover himself, Lydia came in with his next meal. “Oh,” she said softly, and for the first time she shut the door behind her. “You… poor dear. You’re nursing, aren’t you?”

Ienzo knew better than to lie. He could  _ smell _ the milk, slightly sweet. He just pulled the blanket to his chest. One lie he  _ could _ tell was that the baby had died, but as he tried to force the words past his lips, the tears ran over. “Don’t tell him.” Humiliation broke over Ienzo in a wave, along with more panic. “Please, don’t tell him.”

Lydia picked up the napkin from the breakfast tray and handed it to him. She locked eyes with him. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” she said, her dark eyes sharp and serious, and while there was complete honesty in her tone--and faint memories of her helping him in the library--Ienzo could not trust her.

He could barely eat that morning, in too much of an anxious haze. Xehanort could  _ not _ know he’d had a child. He was not going to let Amalia and Demyx be doomed.

_ Didn’t you doom them simply by carrying her to term? _ An insidious voice asked in the back of his head.  _ If you’d aborted her, she wouldn’t have ever been in any danger. _

But what about the Forecast?

It took a lot of strength--almost all he had left--to clean himself up and wait to see if someone would retrieve him. Lydia came back several hours later with another tray, some cloth, and a book. The cloth wasn’t out of the ordinary--she brought him his laundered clothing--but the book was new. “Something to help with the leaking,” she said, and took the tray without another word.

Ienzo unfolded the bundle. It reminded him of a binder from years past, but thin cloth pads had been slipped into small pockets. She’d even left him some extra pads as well. He exhaled slowly and put it on. At least he no longer had to worry about this.

If he didn’t get back to her soon, the milk would dry up. Losing that connection before he was ready only made his eyes tear up further. He blinked it away. He had to be strong for her, to get through. Falling apart would only be self-indulgent. This taken care of, he picked up the book.

It was a simple volume of fairy stories, one he remembered well, one that had been taken from Ansem’s study. He sniffed the pages; old paper, leather, glue. The ribbon marked one of the pages towards the back of the book, and he flipped towards it. 

Ienzo did not remember this story well. Perhaps Ansem had never let him read it, or he’d already moved on from fairy tales by then. The story was about Kingdom Hearts; that it was the gods’ paradise, and that one young god, unruly and rebellious, had gone against her parents’ wishes to visit man. She fell in love with a mortal, and when they married, their child could talk with the earth, could use that magic of the gods--Ienzo’s ancestor.

But there was more to the story than this, namely that Kingdom Hearts had thereafter been sealed to prevent more gods from giving mankind what they didn’t deserve. But the god that did the sealing was clumsy… and he dropped the key.

In a neat, firm pencil in the margins was “Keyblade.”

Suddenly the eradication of the seekers made a whole lot more sense.

Xehanort wasn’t looking to  _ craft _ a Keyblade. He was looking to  _ find _ one. To find one… he had to engineer a seeker or magic user, perhaps with the nothing, with the darkness…

Even’s replicas…

Ienzo’s breath caught. Of course. That was why he’d wanted them. If these “fake” bodies died from incompatible magic use, it wouldn’t be noticed--it wouldn’t matter. If they could not learn to wield Keyblades as Even had originally hypothesized… perhaps they could learn to seek those who could.

He had to get this message to them somehow.

A knock at the door. Hurriedly, Ienzo shoved it under the mattress before the lock clicked open. “Ienzo,” Xemnas said pleasantly. “My father was wondering if you might like to join us for tea.”

He swallowed. “Sounds wonderful.”


	20. Zexion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo continues to play into Xehanort's hands, and finds an old ally in the process.

It took time to earn Xehanort’s trust--perhaps too much. But then again, considering Ienzo had suffered “twelve years of indoctrination with propaganda”, it was surprising the man began to trust him at all.

Two weeks after his initial arrival at the castle, his milk dried up completely, an ache so intense he felt it inside of his still-deadened magic. Amalia would be six weeks old. His arms felt so empty without her. He hoped that she was safe, healthy, that Demyx was with her. He had to believe this for his sanity.

Ienzo had to be clever. He was shocked at how easily deception came to him--deception that had never been used to do anything more than hide when Even sought him. He pretended to take an intense interest in “Ansem”’s research. And to be honest, he  _ was _ interested, but not in the way he let on.

“Darkness is intrinsic in every heart,” the man told him. Ienzo was joining them for meals now. “If we can draw out that darkness… we can give people power. Help them shed their bonds of tyranny.”

“But it seems there’s some kind of transmutative property to darkness which is mostly unpredictable,” Ienzo said carefully. “How do you plan on controlling that?”

“I have several tests running which may illuminate such things,” Ansem said, and elaborated no more.

Ienzo swallowed. “I see. Perhaps you may… let me see some of this research. I wonder if my power might provide some sort of… insight.” He continued to eat, as casually as possible.

“Perhaps,” he said. “I’m sure its absence must make you feel blind. You  _ do _ understand why we had to do things this way, yes?”

Ienzo smiled. “Of course. Were I in your shoes I’m sure I would’ve done the same.” He decided to take the risk. “What… did you do, if you don’t mind my asking?”

Ansem grinned back. “Placed a limiter upon you,” he said. “A self-replicating injectable. Given time… I’m sure my father would consent for you to receive its antidote.”

Ienzo tried not to show his horror. “Quite.”

* * *

Once a week or so, Xehanort requested an “audience” with Ienzo. He seemed to be selecting places he thought would be most important to Ienzo; the gardens, the main library, his father’s study. And they were; seeing how they had been perverted seemed like a personal slight. But Ienzo had to be  _ cordial, polite, accommodating. _ Instead he forced himself to thank him for allowing him this much “freedom.”

They were being served tea in the rose garden one afternoon. It was a bit too cold to be outside, and Ienzo hadn’t been given a coat, just a sweater. There  _ were _ two heaters hovering around, but they didn’t do much.

“I must thank you for your patience,” Xehanort said smoothly. “I know this must not be easy for you, to be treated a prisoner in your own home.”

“I thought I was a…” He took a deliberate pause here. “Guest.”

Xehanort chuckled. “A guest in a locked, warded walk-in closet?”

“...Your words, not mine.”

He picked up his cup. True to Lydia’s word,  _ all _ of his family preferred things dark, sour, and bitter; Ienzo wondered if they could not taste well due to the darkness. “I would like nothing more than to allow you run of the castle, to give you quarters more… suitable for someone of your status.”

“But you don’t trust me.”

“My  _ sons _ don’t trust you,” Xehanort said. “ _ I  _ think you were a little boy misled by people who supposedly cared about you. No. You have been nothing but tolerant of how we’ve treated you, questioning nothing.”

“Over the intervening years… I’ve been treated worse,” he said pleasantly. It was time to lie, and lie big. 

This got his attention. “Have you, my dear prince?”

“Oh, yes. Quite often we’ve stayed in… places of ill repute, in cities crawling with danger. My guardians… coddled me endlessly, would not allow me the freedom to make my own choices. They  _ said _ it was for my safety.” He tutted. “But do they truly wish for me to be king, if I am not allowed to make choices? Or am I… a puppet?”

Xehanort’s face organized itself into something he must’ve thought pity. “What would you have chosen, then?” he asked. “Xemnas said you were rather distraught, that night, when Even was injured.”

“Isn’t any child distraught when seeing violence for the first time? I  _ did _ care about him then, I won’t lie.”

“Do you, now?”

Ienzo sighed. “I’m sure your son must have told you stories of their years working together. Even is… hard to read. It’s hard to tell what he wants, what his intentions truly are. He is quite a master manipulator, Xehanort. I don’t know  _ what _ I should believe.”

Xehanort smiled widely. “I think you’re allowed to decide what you believe now, child.”

Hook, line, sinker.

* * *

Soon after, Ienzo was moved from that small, enclosed room to his old bedroom. Seeing it was like a small gut-punch of memory. Had this space always been so open, the bed so exposed? It was smaller than he remembered, but larger than anywhere else he’d stayed in all this time. The bed was a king, four-poster, neatly made in violet silk, thin curtains tied back to each post. There was a large white marble fireplace with flowers carved all along it, a small chaise nearby. A sitting room adjoined this space, with a writing desk, a table to take his meals, three of the walls lined with bookshelves and storage; the fourth was mostly windowed. The bathroom, too, seemed large and exposed, too much light. Admittedly it was much more comfortable to wait in these rooms. At least he had the luxury of pacing, of books.

As much as he could, Ienzo researched. It seemed like a lot of the textbooks his father had given him had been removed, leaving spaces like missing teeth. Books about the science and theory behind magic… the fairy tales. 

Time was passing.

His longing for his daughter and Demyx only seemed to be getting stronger. He knew he was missing the small moments, the important ones, moments crucial to her development. He didn’t even have the peace of his pendant, considering he’d taken it off that evening before bed. Being polite, kind to them--especially the youngest--was wearing. More than once he cried in the shower, and now and again there was the fleeting thought of what it might feel like to “fall” out the window. But it was never more than a passing impulse. He  _ would _ see Amalia again, even if it killed him. He repeated it to himself, constantly, a manta. He would hold her, smell her. Play with her.

But Ienzo played into their palms wonderfully. He expressed curiosity about darkness, he yes’ed them to death when it came to their ideals. He complimented “Ansem”. When Xehanort offered him the new “name,” he knew it was a major sign of trust. Still, hearing that clunky X thrown into the name he had chosen so carefully felt like another stab to the self. 

He needed to get down to the lab, desperately, but the few times he asked he was so  _ politely _ told no. Ienzo took vociferous notes of whatever he was told, carving them between the lines of his storybooks. He left thin pencil leads among the spines to see if anyone was snooping through his things; it  _ seemed _ like they weren’t, as they never broke. 

He needed his power back. If he had his power, he could sneak down into the lab. There were no other computers connected to the OS that had Tron; he checked as soon as he was allowed to, but the computers Ienzo could access just had the basic office programs, editing programs, things of that ilk, as well as the Internet. Using that, too, was just about useless; he knew that Even had likely taken them off the grid again. And all social media was blocked, preventing him from getting any messages to any of his  _ other _ friends. He wondered about physical letters. Maybe Lydia might pass something on for him? But he didn’t  _ quite _ trust her yet, either, despite the fact that she seemed to be his devoted maid, and she hadn't exposed the fact he'd had a child. If he had the power, he could sense her intentions. Everything hinged on  _ performing _ well enough to get the magic back.

Fall deepened into winter. He’d forgotten what these coastal winters were like, wind howling against the windows, making every room freezing despite the double-paned windows and the fireplaces. 

Every now and again Xehanort, or one of his sons, would not-so-subtly pry for information about Ansem, about the resistance. Ienzo told them the rare truth in this case; he had no idea where Ansem was or what he was up to. He also said that Even had refused to tell him anything about the resistance. He kept his answers as consistent as possible, fully aware this was why they kept asking. 

It seemed that several things happened in quick succession. “Ansem” deigned to give him his power back; Xehanort wanted to reintroduce him to the public; and someone else he’d nearly forgotten entered his life. 

“You’ve been gracious,” Ansem told him. “My father agrees that there’s no point in suppressing your power further, lest we cause it undue harm.”

So Ienzo was led downstairs, so  _ temptingly _ close to that lab, was laid onto a narrow gurney and  _ strapped _ down. “What are--”

Ansem started an IV. “The serum works  _ theoretically _ . But I don’t know for sure how it reacts inside a human body. This is… mostly for your own safety. Can’t have you falling and hitting that precious head of yours.”

Was that sarcasm?

“Don’t you trust me, Zexion?” Ansem purred. “There. Now be a good boy and try not to move.”

Something cold and stinging entered the port Ansem had placed in his hand; it felt like ice water being injected inside Ienzo’s veins. He jerked without meaning to.

“Stillness, boy.”

The cold crept down all along his body, a sharp shattering pain. Ienzo wondered briefly if he were simply being poisoned before he felt a heaviness in the pit of his being, something being lifted and dragged out of him. The serum made his muscles spasm, and he found himself grateful for the restraints. A pained noise left him.

“There, there, Zexion. Not much farther.”

The coldness worsened. He felt as though he could barely breathe, his magic straining against the limiter in his body, breaking it apart. Ienzo could feel dampness and realized it was his own sweat. He felt a mask being placed against his face and jumped before he realized it was just oxygen.

He thought he might shatter, his back arching against the bed. The magic bled back into his body, nearly as painful as when Amalia had separated from him. The pain peaked suddenly, and he blacked out.

* * *

Ienzo woke slowly.

He was in the infirmary of the castle. Something felt… off, about his body, and he realized it was because the heavy dead wrongness he’d carried all these months was gone. The magic sat under his skin, pregnantly. The serum had worked. There was still an oxygen mask on his face, an IV in his hand. It hurt to move; every bit of him was sore.

“...Why don’t you be a good little boy and rest?”

Ienzo jerked. He recognized the feel of this person, his voice. He tried to speak.

The man came into the range of his sighted eye. “Easy,” he said softly. “Easy,  _ Zexion. _ ”

Ienzo swallowed. His mouth was so dry. In front of him was “...Braig.” No more than a whisper.

“These days I go by Xigbar, but whatever floats your boat.” He sat on the plastic chair near the bed.

“You look…”

He chuckled. “Like shit?”

“...Different.” He did. His hair was much longer, half-streaked through with white; Ienzo could not tell if he’d aged prematurely, or if it were something else. But then he saw his gold eye, his pointed ears. The eyepatch. “This whole time you’ve been… here?”

“Past thirteen years, kiddo.” He leaned back and crossed his legs. “Good help is hard to come by. All I had to do was swear allegiance to the old man. Would you believe he let me? But after all, I was around you,  _ your _ old man for years. Figured I’d have to know something.”

Xigbar was hard to read. “So you decided to pay my sickbed a visit?”

“Soon as I heard. They’ve kept word of you being here hush-hush. But there’s a sweet little old lady who thought I’d like to know.”

Lydia. Ienzo swallowed. 

“Don’t know  _ what _ you’re trying to get at. Don’t know that I  _ need _ to know, either.” He leaned forward a little. “Aren’t you handsome now? Just like your daddy.” A pause. “I guard the old man too.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Come on, kid. You and me were always pot-stirrers.” A laugh. “I don’t believe that’s changed. Not one bit.”

“Why not sell me out, then?”

“Bluntly? Because I don’t think anything’s going to get accomplished here, in the long run. Not by him. I’ve heard that darkness is affecting the farmland. Meaning food. Meaning the planet itself.” His expression became serious. “I don’t know about you, but I like to eat.”

Ienzo furrowed his brows. 

“Look, if you need something, I can probably get it to you,” he continued.

“Why should I trust you haven’t been converted, too?”

“Come on, princey. Can’t you  _ feel _ I’m telling the truth, or whatever?”

He could. 

“Besides, according to the old tales… too much darkness, and the planet cracks like an egg.” He clutched his fist. “Don’t want to be there for that, either.”

“...I see.”

A substantial pause. Ienzo knew his cover had been blown at this point. “There’s something else.”

“And that is?”

A slow smile. “A little birdie told me that your family’s trying to find you. So I did some seeking of my own.”

Ienzo tried to hide the surprise on his face. 

“They were hard to find. It took me  _ months. _ Even’s still one clever bastard. I was playing poker one night in some dive bar when someone recognized me… and thought I might like to know you were still alive. He told me all about your little love story.  _ Mazel tov, _ by the way. She's a cute kid.”

The words exploded from him. “They’re alive?”

“Alive and well.”

A relief he hadn’t quite let himself feel washed through him. “You’ll help me?”

“I’d love to wipe the stupid smirk off Junior’s face. It was his fault  _ this _ happened to me.” He pointed to his eye. “They used us as experiments.”

“...They just used me as one. But it was necessary.” He sat up slowly. “Could you tell my family…” He hesitated. “Tell them to  _ trust me. _ ”

Xigbar’s grin was wicked. 


	21. Radiant Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demyx, Aeleus, and Ansem arrive in Radiant Garden.

Demyx expected Radiant Garden to be… nicer.

Then again, it  _ apparently _ once was, if anything Ansem was saying was true. The whole city kind of  _ stunk _ , a smell that made Amalia cry. Demyx knew by then it was darkness. 

The three of them didn’t talk much on the ferry ride over, as though saying too much might give them away. But the workers just ushered them on boredly and treated them as normal passengers, not that there were many this early morning.

“So where are we going?” Demyx asked.

“Not to worry, I’ve got it all straightened out,” Ansem said. 

So bizarre still, to think that the  _ king _ was his father-in-law. He kept looking at Amalia, as though she might disappear. Demyx noticed for the millionth time just how much she looked like Ienzo--the shape of her eyebrows and eyes, her pale skin, her hair. Sometimes he thought she  _ smelled _ like him.

Ienzo was alive.

Along the waves and waves of longing for him was something bitter and sharp.  _ How could you have left me? Have left us? _ Demyx tried to squelch those thoughts down--it wasn’t as though Ienzo  _ wanted _ this to happen--but it was tough doing.

They disembarked from the ferry and walked through the streets. They were eerily empty--the few people they  _ did _ see narrowed their eyes and walked too quickly. Ansem sighed heavily. “This was once such a beautiful place.”

Demyx could see that too. The flower gardens were everywhere, but a lot of the flowers were limp, brown, dying. The few vibrant flowers they saw turned out to be plastic as they approached. Amalia lay against his chest limply, as though exhausted. While they saw old signs for streetcars, Demyx didn’t see any on the streets. 

So they walked. Amalia only weighed a little over seven kilos, but even with the sling Demyx found himself getting achy. After a while, Ansem offered to take the baby from him. “It’s the darkness, making you weak,” the king said out of the corners of his mouth.

Many of the houses were boarded up and shuttered, and in some places there was evidence of destruction--soot from fires, broken glass, rubble. What seemed like hours later, they arrived at an apartment building at the farthest edge of the city. Demyx’s feet were positively screaming. Ansem handed the baby back and took a small skeleton key from his pocket. “This  _ used _ to be the resistance’s headquarters,” he said, equally as quietly. “Some years ago they got smoked out.”

“How is it safe, then?” Demyx asked.

“Because Xehanort thinks we’re not stupid enough to return to the places we’ve left.” 

They walked up to the fourth floor landing. The building was abandoned; Demyx could feel it. It was old, dusty. Amalia sneezed. At least the power still seemed to be on, flickering unsteadily in bare bulbs. They reached a door at the end of the hall and Ansem unlocked that, too. 

This must’ve once been a nice apartment, but dust and water damage bloated the silk wallpaper, and dirt permeated every crevice. Demyx could see spots where the resistance must have… resisted the “smoking out”; gouges in floors, cracks in the wall, a chair with one of its legs broken. Most of the furniture left was covered in sheets. Aeleus tried to open one of the windows, but it was stuck and didn’t get more than a few inches. He sighed. “I don’t suppose you know any wind magic,” he said to Demyx.

He shook his head. “Water, mostly. Sorry.”

Aeleus thought. “Actually, that might just work.”

Demyx handed Aeleus the baby. It still felt weird, to use his own power after so long, but he was surprised at how easily it came. He felt like he was doing something wrong, sweeping water off of the floors, the surfaces he could see; the grime was coming up more easily than he thought. He guided the water across the furniture, too, washing it clean, then drying everything back out and dumping the waste out the window. “Would’ve made apartment life in college a lot easier,” he muttered. The place was a different color.

“Can you ward?” Ansem asked.

Demyx felt his face heat. “...No.”

He passed the baby back to him. “No matter.” He started casting the then-familiar barriers at the door.

“I didn’t think you were a magic user.”

“My power is considerably less than Ienzo’s--much like your daughter got his, my sister got our father’s.” 

“...Magic is so weird,” Demyx said.

He laughed. “Indeed it is, my dear boy.”

“I’m going to see if I can find some food,” Aeleus said. “Don’t go anywhere if you can avoid it.”

Demyx and Ansem continued to get the apartment ready for living. Demyx missed with a sudden ache his old apartment with Riku, the basement in the townhouse. Reliable clean hot showers. Restaurants, bars. Clubs. Friends.

Ansem rested a hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“I… know I should be glad we’re together, and alive. But…”

“You miss your old life. Of course you do.” He smiled kindly. “I think we all do every now and again.”

“Especially you--I mean, you must’ve had it pretty freaking sweet.”

“Things are just things,” Ansem said wistfully. “I miss mostly… my family.”

“Ienzo,” Demyx said, feeling the now-familiar accompanying stab of pain. 

“My son… Even, that dear man… my apprentices. And those members of staff who became family, too.”

Demyx considered the way Ansem said Even’s name. “Do you… love him?”

Ansem looked confused. “My son? Of course.”

“No, Even.”

Ansem looked out the window. 

“You don’t have to tell me. It’s okay.”

After a moment Ansem said, “We never… said as such. I’d hoped… things would evolve eventually, and then…”

“...Shit hit the fan.” Amalia cooed as though in response. “Right.”

“...I’m hoping that somehow all this nonsense will be behind us soon. That your daughter can grow up knowing Xehanort as only part of history.”

She made small smacking sounds. Very deliberately, she smiled. “She likes you,” Demyx said. “Well. She likes mostly everyone, but…”

Ansem chuckled. He leaned forward to take Amalia’s tiny fist into his hand. “You’re a seeker, right?”

“...Yeah.”

“From where?”

“Destiny Islands.”

“So you’re--”

“...Yeah.” He swallowed. “She’s got the, uh, scales. You’ll probably see them if you ever change her.”

Ansem sat on one of the covered chairs. “You’ll have to forgive me,” he said in a low voice, knotting his hands. 

Demyx knew how he would answer, but he said, “for what?”

“For choosing this life for you. I assure you I did not  _ know _ your people intended a living  _ person _ to be behind Ienzo’s protection. I was… woefully ignorant of the cultural implications.”

Demyx considered this. “My parents sold me so they could stay together,” he said instead. “What would the alternative have been? I’d have  _ still _ always been seeking Ienzo, whether or not I knew it. And I’d never have found him if I stayed where I was.”

“Is that what you sought? A partner, a family?”

“Must be,” he murmured. “I… I don’t know. I feel divorced in a lot of ways from my past self. I didn’t even  _ remember _ a lot of it until recently. Swiss cheese memory.”

“Darkness can cause amnesia that only time and coincidence can heal.”

“Apparently.”

There was a gentle knock at the door; they all tensed, even Amalia, and Demyx’s heart broke a little more ( _ she shouldn’t feel afraid like this _ ). Ansem drew a dagger from his boot and approached it slowly. Then he looked through the peephole and sighed heavily, and Demyx  _ knew _ that kind of sigh. Longing.

Even was sopping wet as he came through the door. “Don’t ask,” he said, before he caught sight of Ansem. “Oh--”

“Hello, Even,” he said.

Even’s face had gone oddly blank. “Hello... I…” A faint flush spread through his face, and he turned instead to Demyx. “How’s the baby?”

“She’s fine. Want me to dry you out?”

“If you don’t mind.”

Demyx did so. “Nice day for a swim, huh?”

“Boy, I said  _ don’t ask. _ ” He took off the unflattering parka he wore. He seemed to struggle to gather himself. Then, to Ansem, “I thought we’d agreed to keep you out of this.”

Demyx wondered if now might be the right moment to try and get the baby down for a nap. He stood carefully and eased his way towards one of the bedrooms. “The time for cowardice is over, I think. Lest Ienzo be in more trouble than he’s already let on. At some point my safety becomes complicity. Don’t you agree?”

Demyx eased the door shut. They continued this discussion in low voices. Amalia squalled a little, reaching towards Even. “I know, Li-li. You missed him. But he has to talk to grandpa Ansem.” He washed out the blanket on the bed quickly and tucked it into a larger drawer of the dresser. Before all this, he’d thought the babies-in-a-drawer thing was only pop culture. They  _ used _ to have a pack-and-play she’d used as a bed, but they’d had to abandon it one night. That was before Isa taught him about pocket dimensions. Either way, she didn’t seem to mind, and he sang her a lullaby until she fell asleep.

He must’ve slept too, draped in the musty armchair; he was only woken by the gentle tapping of nails on the wooden floors. Demyx jerked awake, reaching automatically for the baby, before he saw it was just Isa; moonlight bled into the room. “Your time of the month already, huh?” he asked. 

Isa just glared at him with the wolf’s eyes and trotted over to the baby, sniffing her once; she cooed. 

“Must’ve been easier to swim this way though, I bet.”

He just bobbed his head once. 

“Everyone else still out there?”

Another nod. 

“Keep an eye on her for me? I bet she’s starving.”

On shaky legs, Demyx walked back over to the door, which Isa had left open. Ansem, Aeleus, and Even were gathered at the small round kitchen table in the dark, their eyes on Even’s phone, something like horror in their expressions.

He didn’t like the sinking feeling he got. For the first time in a while his own magic pinged unpleasantly. “What?” Demyx asked.

“Oh, Demyx. Let me get you some coffee,” Ansem said. He crossed back over to the pot. “I’m afraid there’s only milk--”

“What. Happened.” 

Even just sighed, and it was a sigh of someone about to have a hard conversation. “Why don’t you sit down?” He took off his glasses, but this only made him look more exhausted.

Another unpleasant ping. “Ienzo,” he said, with something like desperation.

“...is still alive. Physically, anyway.” Even guided Demyx over to a chair and pressed the coffee into his hand. He touched his shoulder, once; Even only initiated physical contact if something bad happened. “Take a breath. It may not be as it seems.”

Aeleus just shook his head.

But Demyx had always been smarter, or maybe more intuitive, than the once-scientist thought. “He’s been brainwashed.”

“The picture I have is not completely clear--” He began, then took a moment to compose himself. “The city news has been unreliable, as it’s now owned by the state.”

“Let the other shoe drop before you give the boy a heart attack,” Ansem said. He was still facing the counter.

Even’s lips pursed even more. Without ceremony, he presented Demyx the phone, which was open to a news article.

_ Missing princess actually prince, voices support for new regime. _

He thought he might faint. “Oh,  _ shit _ .”


	22. Forget Me Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected ally helps Ienzo leave the castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be somewhere without wifi on Friday, so I decided to push this week's update early. Next week's chapter will be posted on 10/16.

The press conference was easier than Ienzo thought it would be; that, or he’d completely dissociated. Either way, he said all the right things, beat for beat. The smile on Xehanort’s face seemed very genuine.

He could not stop vomiting for the rest of the day.

He’d tried to subtly weave in his own messages for his family, but it was hard to tell how much would be edited out before it was formally released. He was aware he was going from something like an urban legend to quite literally a traitor. He’d deliberately likened the situation to the theater in his speech, that they “all had their own parts to play” in order for the country to move forward. Would Even pick up on the hint?

Lydia was unusually stony towards him for the rest of the day. He’d been too convincing. Finally, just after dinner, he reached out to touch her elbow as she took his (still quite full) tray. “Trust me,” he said softly. “That wasn’t me.”

She pushed her glasses up her nose. 

“I have a plan.”

The look in her eye softened. “Of course, your highness,” she said. “Of course.”

Ienzo did not pay any attention to the news; it made him feel too sick. He had to focus instead on the thought of his daughter, on Demyx, on getting down into the lab. It would be endgame soon. He just had to let them know before it was too late.

* * *

This morning there was a note tucked under his breakfast tray. The china was different than usual, hyacinths painted around the rim; the note was a scrambled mess. Ienzo picked up the hint and undid the substitution cipher quickly--

_ Little stunt of yours might have been  _ _ too _ _ successful. Rioting in the streets. International specialists are all claiming you have stockholm syndrome, or you’re a fake. But the outcry is real, and we might be able to use it to our advantage. _

_ Couple people owe me a favor… might be able to get you out for a few hours. In case you want to clear your name to the most important. _

Scribbled below that was a set of numbers that Ienzo had a hard time decoding until he realized they were coordinates. He pulled out an old map of the city, wrote down the rough placement. The clothing he’d been given was a little too nice and noticeable for this sudden idea.

When she came back for the tray, Lydia again had a bundle of laundry. “This is lovely china,” he said. “I didn’t know we had it.”

“Remy thought you might like it,” she said.

Ah. So the chef was in on it too. “Send him my thanks, as always.” He paused. 

“Of course, your highness.”

“Call me Ienzo.”

She smiled a little, and nodded. She left him alone again, so rather than stew in the guilt of his own betrayal (despite it having a larger purpose), he decided to put his clean things away. But something was new. A black sweater. Boots. A jacket with a long hood.

It seemed all he had to do was wait.

Xehanort called him in to discuss their “media strategy.” Despite his darkness being the world’s worst secret, he hoped to announce, at some point, what they had been up to in his experiments. As sweetly as possible, Ienzo asked, “since the public would soon know anyway,” if he might have some more  _ insight _ into all this.

“I suppose it is time,” the old man conceded. “One of the only good things that fool Even instilled in you was a love of science.”

“Yes,” he said pleasantly, though his heart was thumping hard.

“But before that. I’m not sure if you’ve read much of the news lately--Xemnas, remind me to start sending Zexion the papers every morning--but there has been a…  _ response _ , to yesterday’s press conference.”

Ienzo wondered if he was imagining the slight tightness in Xemnas’s jaw as being ordered about so. “A good one, I hope?”

“Well, for the most part. Though some of the…  _ independents _ claim I’m brainwashing you.”

Ienzo forced himself to smile. “Can’t I simply issue a statement stating the opposite?”

“You could,” the youngest son said boredly. “But they all have in their minds this image of an innocent  _ child _ who doesn’t know any better. They’d think you were told to do that.”

“...Perhaps that is apt.”

Young Xehanort smiled widely. “Don’t you feel like we’re taking a step in the right direction? We’ll all be better off for it, I’m sure.”

Ienzo swallowed. “...Quite.”

“The best thing to do would be to get you in front of more people. So you can  _ prove _ it’s not all an act.” His gold eyes glinted. “What is it you said-- “we all have our parts to play”? Or something like that?”

He felt a stab of fear. “I’m sure you are right.”

With lunch was another note, this time decoded with the primroses on the plate.  _ Meet me in the library alcove 8:15. You know the one.  _

He assumed it was Braig sending these notes; who else would it be? Ienzo waited for the time to pass, pacing back and forth until his legs ached. He might get to see his daughter, his  _ family _ again. His heart beat slickly and he was sweating so much in anticipation he had to reapply deodorant. He got dressed in the clothing he’d been given, and when it was about eight that evening, he slipped out the door without another word. He was so anxious he was dizzy. What if he were caught? All this work would’ve been for nothing. He shouldn’t take this risk, he should just try to ride it out until his plan had been carried in full--

But if something happened to him, and he would’ve never gotten to say goodbye?

It hurt too much to miss them.

Ienzo darted almost silently through the hallways. At least he had his magic back in full use, could disguise himself if need be--but the hallways were cleared of their usual guard. He paused. Was this a trap? Or had this been laid out for him? He could no longer tell, and the hesitation sparked his anxiety further. 

The library, too, was completely empty of people. Ienzo felt a though he couldn’t process anything he was seeing anymore, so focused on that moment of reunion--

“...There you are.”

The voice was not one he expected to hear. Ienzo stopped dead in his tracks. In the shadows, dressed similarly in black, was Xemnas. “This… I thought…” All he could think to stammer in this moment of vulnerability was “this isn’t what it looks like.” So much for brilliance.

Xemnas cocked his head. “You can let the mask fall, Ienzo. It’s alright.”

He felt he could not catch his breath. It had been a long while since his last panic attack, but it was immediately familiar.

Xemnas placed both of his hands on Ienzo’s shoulders. “Take a breath, little one. It was I who left the notes for you.”

“A trap, then.”

He sighed. “No trap.” He looked over his shoulders. “Come. We’ll be late.” He guided Ienzo towards the door.

“I don’t--understand--”

“I can see why you’d have trouble,” Xemnas said. “Why should you trust me at all when--”

“You’re the one who put us in this situation in the first place.”

He nodded sadly. “But thirteen years is a long time to think. To change.” A pause. “You’ve seen how my father treats me. How he… doesn’t even  _ see _ me. He’d rather humor my brothers their crimes against humanity, their pets. Forgetting all the while… who gave this to them in the first place.”

“So you’re doing it out of bitterness?” Ienzo asked sourly. 

“That was how it started.” He let out a breath, his stoic expression cracking for just a moment. “They’re all willfully in denial. But the repercussions of this will be many and far-reaching.”

“The darkness?”

“Kingdom Hearts. Now  _ come _ . We don’t have time for chit-chat.”

Ienzo followed. Xemnas took him deeper and deeper into the bowels of the castle, through dank musty passages which were doubtlessly no longer up to code; through the laundry, again oddly empty; down a dozen flights of stairs until finally there was just sky, and sea, and a narrow rocky staircase leading to an old service dock. A wooden rowboat bobbed slightly in the winter surf, and Ienzo shivered. A small hooded figure was waiting for them. “She’ll take you where you need to go,” Xemnas told Ienzo. “Change of guard is at midnight. You’d best be back by then.”

“Like Cinderella,” Ienzo muttered, and he heard a small, feminine laugh from the hooded figure. “Xemnas. We need to--”

“The time for talking is later.  _ Go. _ ”

Ienzo climbed into the small rowboat. It felt  _ odd _ to entrust his fate to a child. “Could I help you row?” he asked.

“I like doing it,” she said. “I hardly ever get out on the sea.” She was powerful for her size; she didn’t even sound breathless.

“What’s your name?”

“Xion.”

“Shion? Like the flower?”

She laughed a little. “With an X. Like “sh.” Though I guess Lord Xemnas found it funny. He loves puns.”

“...An X.” Ienzo swallowed. “Xemnas gave you your alias?”

“Xemnas gave me my  _ name _ .” Her next stroke seemed particularly violent. “It’s, uh, a long story.”

Ienzo looked at her again. Hard to tell exactly with the poor lighting and her hood, but she couldn’t be older than fourteen. “I understand if you don’t want to tell me.”

“No, it’s okay. He told me to start speaking out more, so.” A sigh. “I was a failed experiment. He… saved me from… euthanasia.”

“An… experiment?”

A pause. “First prototype in an attempt to… make Keyblades.”

It took Ienzo a long moment to put the pieces together. “You’re a--”

“Replica. Yep! Not human.” A wry laugh.

If Ienzo saw Even, he could at least tell him that his research had created sentience. “But you seem so normal,” Ienzo said, in an attempt to comfort the girl.

“I had too much… free will.” She pulled the small boat up to a dock and grabbed a length of rope. Effortlessly, she hopped out and tied it to a pole. She offered Ienzo her small hand, and when he took it, he was surprised at the strength he felt when she heaved him up. “I’ll wait for you here.”

Ienzo strained to remember his coordinates. “You’ll be alright, by yourself?”

“Heartless don’t care much for me,” she said, with a shrug. “I’ll just hang out and enjoy the moon on the water. Just… don’t be too late, okay? He was really nervous about doing this.”

Ienzo took a breath. “I’ll try.” 

Ienzo could barely take in the streets of Radiant Garden. His heart was beating so hard all he could hear was the fluid  _ whooshing _ in his ears, and he was dizzy.  _ Amalia. Amalia. Amalia. _

He found himself in a maze of abandoned buildings, searching for the telltale signs of wards. After what felt like much too long, he was in front of an old apartment building. His hands shook as he opened them wide enough to get through.

The reaction was immediate. A large dog--no, a  _ wolf _ \--bounded down the stairs, teeth bared, snarling, only to see him.

For a long while he and Isa just stared at each other. “I can…” Ienzo’s mouth was so dry. “I can explain everything. Please just let me see my daughter.”

Isa approached him slowly. Ienzo did not know what to make of the wolf’s body language. Why wasn’t he transforming back into a human? He paced around Ienzo slowly, sniffing him. He must’ve passed snuff enough, because Isa just bounded back up the stairs.

Ienzo followed. His knees felt like jelly and he found himself glad he’d been unable to eat dinner, because otherwise he would’ve gotten sick. He couldn’t recall ever feeling so nervous, though these were the most important people in his life. Why wouldn’t they  _ trust _ him?

The wolf waited by a door on the fourth floor. Tremblingly, Ienzo reached for the knob, only for it to open. “Even,” he said numbly.

The man seemed not to know what to make of him; he’d gone very pale. 

“Even. I promise I have a plan. I  _ promise. _ It’s not--I would  _ never _ \--” 

For a long moment he just stared at him. Then, after much too long, he drew Ienzo into his arms, and Ienzo could not help but sag into the embrace, all of his months of fear and loneliness and acting hitting him at once. He’d never truly noticed how comforting another person’s touch could be, their smell. He breathed in Even’s detergent and shaving cream and tried not to outright sob.

Another voice, behind Even-- “who is it?”

“Your son.”

Ienzo was loath to let go, but he did at last. Ansem was standing there, looking just as stricken as Even had. “Father. Please. I’m not--I…”

But all Ansem did was reach past Even to embrace him as well. “I know,” he said. “I never doubted you for a moment.”

For just a second, Even’s expression belied the opposite. “I’ll tell you everything--I only have a few hours--I--” His head was spinning. “Where are they?”

“Demyx was trying to get the baby down. I’m sure he’s still in there.” Ienzo started towards the door, but Even stopped him. “Let me get them.”

For a tremulous moment, it was just Ienzo, Ansem, and the wolf, who watched Ienzo warily with those wide gold eyes. “Ah--Isa’s human form is waylaid during the full moon,” Ansem said haltingly. 

“...I see.” He swallowed. “I had to… I had to act that way to earn his trust, father, I didn’t  _ want _ \--”

“I know.”

“Do you? Even looked like he’d--”

“Ien...zo?”

Ienzo felt his heart surge, tears prickling in his eyes. He didn’t recognize Demyx, not immediately, though not necessarily due to the new hair and the glasses. His eyes were sadder, flatter, his posture more defeated. He’d lost weight; they all had. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so…”

He stumbled over his words for a moment. “I guess Xigbar… told you we were here.”

“Actually… someone else helped me get out. Someone really unexpected.” He took another small step forward; Demyx flinched. “I’ll tell you, it’s just that I need to--I need to see her.”

“Right… um… our room is through here.”

Ienzo didn’t know what he’d expected--not the crying, emotionally charged kissing of movies, for sure--but not this strange distance between them. He followed Demyx through the small apartment to a bedroom at the back that faced the sea. A small lantern with warm light was still on. 

“She likes seeing the water,” Demyx said, leaning over a makeshift bassinet. Ienzo strained to see. He hefted her up, his back still to Ienzo. She snuffled indignantly. “I know, Li-li, but it’s important.”

She looked nothing like the squish-faced four-week old Ienzo had last seen. She blinked sleepily, her blue-green eyes slowly coming into focus. “She’s so big,” Ienzo whispered.

“Seven kilos. Even thinks she’s going to be taller, like me.”

“She’s got your nose.”

“Oh--you think?”

“Her hair is so long.” The tears pricked again. 

“Almost time for a cut, I think.” 

“Could I--” He reached out towards the baby--she pressed her face against Demyx’s shoulder.

“I’m just not sure if she--”

“Please.”

“--Remembers you, Ienzo. She was only a month old.”

“But she… she has to.” He was aware he was only a few hairs away from losing his composure, all of this becoming too much. “She…” He swallowed, feeling the lump. “Let me try.”

After a long moment, Demyx finally brought her over to Ienzo; she began to struggle and cry. “It’s alright, sweetie,” Demyx said to her. “It’s alright.”

And Amalia slid into his arms. She was so much  _ heavier _ than he remembered, and he nearly stumbled under the weight. She cried louder and thrashed against him, him, a  _ stranger _ .

“It’s okay,” Demyx said over and over again. “It’s your daddy, Li-li. He won’t hurt you.”

Ienzo tried to give her a kiss, but she squirmed in his grip, to the point where Demyx reached out in case she fell. 

“Maybe I should--”

“No,” Ienzo said. “No. She has to get to know me.” He reached out with his magic, blinking away the tears, finding her field at last, and something seemed to click; she stopped trying to struggle out of his arms. Feeling her energy almost eased that awful hole he felt in his being. 

The baby, if anything, cried louder, not out of fear as before, but  _ anger _ . Betrayal. 

“I know,” Ienzo found himself repeating. “I know. I didn’t want to leave you. I’m sorry.” He tried to bounce her a little, but the hurt was felt deeply. He kissed her wet, hot little cheeks. “I’m sorry.” He couldn’t help but cry too.

Demyx reached forward to stroke her hair. This seemed to calm her somewhat, until finally she sagged weakly against Ienzo, her cries more like gasps. Ienzo sat down on the small, lumpy bed. 

“I didn’t want to,” Ienzo whispered.

“I know.” He sat in a small chair and rested his head against his hand. “So… are you, like…”

“I’m earning their trust so I can mine information to pass along to the resistance.” He cleared his throat. “I’m hoping that… eventually, I can…”

“How long is eventually?”

“I don’t know, Demyx. I’m making a lot of progress.”

“Weeks? Months?”

He looked down at his baby. 

“Because--I don’t know. Showing up out of the blue is just going to confuse her.”

“This has hurt me too, every day I’m not with her I swear I--”

“We’ve been running, Ienzo. We’ve been running for six  _ months. _ And all of a sudden you show up on the news saying you’re  _ with him? _ ”

“I need to earn his trust. It’s the only way this whole gambit will work.”

Demyx raised an eyebrow. Ienzo did not like how defensive he seemed.

“People are already rioting. International leaders are voicing their outrage,” Ienzo said.

“Yeah, because you’re making yourself look like a traitor.”

“Because I am a poor, poor abuse victim on state media, saying what I’m told to say  _ or else. _ ” He held Amalia closer, breathing in that sweet scent of hers. 

“And what will that accomplish?”

“...I’m going to turn the tide.” He swallowed. “And stage a coup.”


	23. Schemer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo explains his plans to his family. He and Xemnas discuss next steps.

Everyone listened patiently as Ienzo outlined his plan. Time was running short already--between the trip over and the trip back, it was nearing eleven, and he’d have to leave soon. To say goodbye to his daughter  _ again _ , who had only just fallen asleep after letting him feed her. 

“It’s… ambitious,” Even said at last. “But if you believe Xemnas has had a change of heart… that could make it all the easier.”

“It certainly helped clarify things for me. I’d just hoped… to function as a mole. But I’m wondering if it’s actually possible.”

“It happened once. It could happen again,” Ansem said. “You must be careful, Ienzo.”

“And I will. I just wish there were some easy way to get communications through to you.”

Even exhaled. “There’s the obvious,” he said. He ducked into one of the bedrooms and came back with Ienzo’s phone and its charger. “I’ve jailbroken it. Should be untraceable--so long as you place no calls. You could send me encrypted emails.”

“You held onto it?”

He dropped his eyes. “I couldn’t help but keep hope.”

Another wave of emotion broke over him, and he had to choke it down. He stuffed the phone into his pocket. “It… pains me to say, but--”

“You must go?” Ansem said. “Of course. Can’t have you turning into a pumpkin.”

Ienzo pressed one last kiss against Amalia’s brow. “Can I put her down myself? Please?”

Demyx just looked exhausted when he said, “sure. Go for it.”

He carried her back into Demyx’s room and set her in the bassinet. Her emotions must have exhausted her; she was dead asleep, soft baby snores. He rested her on her belly and tucked her stuffed bear in a little tighter. “I love you,” he said. “I’ll come back.”

The other goodbyes were equally difficult, especially because Aeleus was out scouting. All of the embraces after so little contact threatened to overwhelm him.

“You can do this,” Ansem said. “Try not to take too many risks.”

“Be careful,” Even whispered. Isa just nodded at him, all he was able to do to communicate. “Your daughter needs you.”

_ Does she? _ Ienzo thought. “I shall certainly try.”

Even touched Demyx’s shoulder. “We’ll keep an ear out for the baby. I’m sure you two would like a few minutes alone.”

The three of them went into a sitting room and shut the door, leaving them in awkward silence. Demyx cleared his throat. “What, are they expecting us to speedbone?” he began lamely. 

Ienzo could not even smile at the bad joke. “I can’t even imagine how difficult this has been for you,” he said softly. “Leaving behind everything you knew and loved--”

“I already knew,” Demyx said, his eyes on the floor. “Watching it happen in real time, though, was a trip.”

“You… knew?”

He just exhaled heavily. “The Forecast.”

“Then why did you lie to me when I first asked you?”

“It was, what, the day after she was born? What was I supposed to say? Hey, by the way, don’t get too attached, because you’ll be gone?”

“What  _ else _ did you learn?” Ienzo asked.

There was just a long silence. Demyx smiled a little--emptily--and reached forward to touch Ienzo’s face.

“What did you learn?”

He kissed him. 

“Demyx. You’re scaring me.”

He pressed his forehead against Ienzo. “It’s going to be okay,” he said softly. “It really is.” He leaned down to kiss him again, slowly, and Ienzo could not help but respond, all of this emotion crushing him from the inside out. He reached forward to pull him close, feeling those fear-starved emotions come back out, so horribly  _ needy _ . Suddenly he  _ wanted _ to take him in this awful apartment, acutely aware this was  _ not _ a good idea. Demyx broke away from the kiss to work at his jaw and throat. “Ienzo.”

“Yes?” The clothing Demyx was wearing was different than Ienzo was used to, the textures rougher, more of a struggle to find skin. 

“This is a bad idea.”

“I’m  _ painfully _ aware.”

“But I… I don’t mind if--”

“If  _ I _ don’t.” He considered. Asking for willpower when he felt like his heart would rip open was unbearable. He needed to connect to Demyx again somehow. Would this help? Ienzo straddled him and reached down to rub at him through his pants, feeling an immediate response. A hot flush made his cheeks burn. Demyx’s hand slid up his inner thigh between his legs, and that touch through fabric was almost too much. He tried to bring his hands up through Demyx’s hair, but his body remembered the other style, and he got handfuls of stubble. 

“You have Even to blame for that,” he mumbled. “Though with the baby… it’s easier.”

Ienzo kissed his cheek, his draw, drinking in the taste of it, feeling weak. He just barely saw the clock. “If we’re going to do this we have to do it now.”

“Alright.” He slid his hand down Ienzo’s waistband, quickly finding his clit. Ienzo nearly moaned out loud and had to muffle the sound against Demyx’s shoulder. “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

“So much it  _ hurt. _ ”

“It does. It does.” He struggled to unbutton Demyx’s jeans but managed it at last, and eased his dick out, taking it into his hand. It was good to be able to cause him  _ some _ pleasure, however small. 

“How do you--” He continued stroking him almost mercilessly, slipping a finger into him. “How do you want to do this?”

Ienzo barely heard him, bucking against his hand. It had been  _ so _ long since he’d felt anything resembling  _ good _ . “What?”

“Do this? Or--”

“...Right. Help me with my pants.”

Demyx did, and Ienzo almost fell, barely catching his weight. Maybe if they made love on this awful couch in this shambling apartment which was not good enough for their daughter and maybe if Ienzo hadn’t just pretended to be a traitor they could imagine they weren’t falling apart, that this was just normal--

Demyx eased into him. Ienzo was still a little dry, but if anything he liked the slight pinch of pain before it quickly faded. He bucked down against him, all of it  _ so _ needed, just a fucking  _ minute _ of not being in his head, of not planning, or pretending. Demyx grasped at his hips and thrusted harder. It was difficult to keep quiet, but he just pressed his face against his shoulder.

Awkward, uncomfortable sex with their family in the other room shouldn’t have felt good, and probably wouldn’t have if the circumstances were different. As it was, Demyx was just so  _ barely _ gasping his name, working his clit with one hand crammed between their bodies, and Ienzo thought he might fall apart. Would it be so bad to just  _ not  _ be so painfully conscious for a moment? He ground against Demyx, feeling that familiar sweet tightening starting inside of him. Demyx clutched at his back. Ienzo could feel him shaking, a quiver in his dick that made him gasp.

“I’m really…” Demyx hissed under his breath. 

Ienzo pulled him into a kiss, and for just a second everything was okay, and they were going to be  _ fine _ , and he was totally  _ not _ on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Then they both came.

For a moment he thought he might faint, the sudden absence of so much tension making him dizzy. They both struggled to catch their breath. “I’m… sorry,” Demyx said to him. “I tried to pull out but I--”

“It’s alright.” He was not going to worry about that now, he decided, despite the moonlight beating into the window like a brand. “It’s okay.” Shakily, Ienzo got off of him and pulled his pants back on. He kissed Demyx once more. 

“...I wish you didn’t have to go.”

“Me too.” He wiped the sweat from his brow. “I’m going to fight for this. I just…” The emotion threatened like a cloudburst, brushing away what little good had come from the sex. “Don’t let her forget me. Please.”

Another kiss, longer this time. “I’ll try.”

* * *

Ienzo felt numb as he walked back to meet Xion. The moon was higher in the sky now, silver light hitting him coolly. He remembered what Even said about the moon affecting his fertility. Seven months postpartum, no breastfeeding to inhibit ovulation--

“There you are. I was getting worried.”

He saw her sitting at the dock. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. We should be able to get back in time if we hurry.”

He climbed back down into the boat. His mind and heart were getting tugged in a million places-- _ my baby’s so big and she forgot me _ and  _ Demyx looks so sad what isn’t he telling me _ and  _ really thought I betrayed them _ and  _ what if I just got pregnant  _ again _ , fucking idiot-- _

“You okay?”

Xion startled him. “Forgive me. I was far off.”

“...That’s alright.” A pause, and for a moment all that was audible was the gentle slosh as she rowed. “What is it like, to have family?” 

Ienzo considered. “It can be comforting,” he said at last. “But it can also be complicated… and painful.”

“Life is complicated and painful anyway,” she said simply.

“I suppose that is apt.”

A pause. “I guess that kind of makes Ansem my dad, ‘cause he made me,” she said. “Though Xemnas takes care of me… can someone have two dads?”

Ienzo laughed a little despite himself. “Two or more.” He wondered if it were worth telling her about Even.

“...And I don’t really  _ like _ Ansem.”

“On account of the whole… euthanasia situation?”

There was some bitterness in her voice when she said, “...yeah.”

“If I’m honest… I don’t really like him either.”

She laughed a little. 

Too soon, they were back at the castle. Ienzo looked up at it, resentful that his childhood home had been turned into a prison. “Where do you go?” Ienzo asked. “After all this, I mean?”

“I do guard work,” she said. “In the upper floors.” Then, “Maybe you’ll visit me?”

Ienzo smiled despite himself. “If I can, I will,” he said. “Thanks for this, Xion.”

She flicked back her hood, and Ienzo couldn’t help the shocked expression on his face. She looked just like Kairi. “Any time, Ienzo.”

Ienzo tried to digest all this as he made his way through the labyrinthine corridors back to his rooms. He had a pounding headache. He was going to need some time to reflect; but he was exhausted from the long walk, from all the emotions. He was just closing the door behind him when he saw the Heartless guards glide into place. Numbly, he went into his bathroom, drew a hot bath. Thought about the wives’ advice of lore, if maybe cleaning himself would help avert any unwanted developments inside of his body. He was loath to do it, but he was going to allow a period. Pray for one.

He wasn’t averse to another baby. But  _ now _ , of all the times? 

There was so much to ponder that his mind was blank. He remained in the water until it began to grow cool, and when he finally climbed into the bed it felt so empty, and he had never felt so alone.

* * *

There were no breakfast notes today, and the china was the plain stuff he’d had originally. The emotion of yesterday had started to process, and he was feeling rather weepy, trying to repress the memory of Amalia struggling out of his arms. Of how tired and sad all of his family looked, of the awful place they were staying--while he was living in comparative luxury.

No more. 

Enough faffing about. Time to actually  _ do _ what he’d been planning to do. With what he’d learned about Xemnas yesterday, he might suddenly have a huge advantage. He just needed to know more about the man. Ienzo made his way to his quarters. 

Xemnas did not live in any of the royal apartments, as the others did; he lived in the same rooms he’d had when he was Ansem’s apprentice. Ienzo wondered if this was a deliberate choice, or if it reflected Xehanort’s favor. Either way, thin, wispy memories assaulted Ienzo as he made his was into the space where his loved ones once lived; Even’s apartment, all of the soft green furniture covered in sheets; the sitting room where he and Aeleus used to do puzzles together; the kitchen where he and Braig attempted to “bake.” Ienzo used to want to be an apprentice with a desire that was painful.

The door to Xemnas’s apartment was the last on the left. He knocked, twice. “You can just leave the tray outside,” he heard.

“Xemnas? It’s me. ...Zexion.” He flinched at the taste of the name. 

A moment later, the door opened. 

Xemnas’s quarters could best be described as an upscale student apartment. The square footage of the space was low; a kitchenette was shoehorned into one corner near a small bathroom which still smelled like shampoo from a recent shower. The furniture was all plain, the cover on the bed a solid color without any embellishments. The only luxury in the room seemed to be books, which were piled to bursting on the built-in bookshelf. “Good day,” the man said smoothly. 

“Have you a few moments? Or were you--busy?” There were a few open texts on a shallow coffee table. 

“Nothing that can’t be interrupted. A status report for my father. Come in.” He shut the door behind Ienzo. 

“I can’t help but wonder--” He began. “Did you choose to live here? Or had all the nice rooms already been allocated?”

Xemnas chuckled a little. “Unlike them, I have no need for such frippery. Coffee?” 

Not a direct answer, Ienzo thought. “Quite. I had a long night.”

He lit a stove burner and set up an old-fashioned percolator. “Coffee is my one indulgence,” he said. “Things went… smoothly, I hope?”

“Have we any eavesdroppers?” he asked in a low voice.

“I’m sure your paranoia is justified after what you’ve been through--but no.”

Ienzo exhaled. Xemnas gestured for him to sit on the small sofa, so he did. “Yes, it went smoothly, insofar that I wasn’t caught. I have… questions.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“What do you want, Xemnas? With me? With… all of this? Is your defection genuine?”

Xemnas took out a sugar bowl and a pitcher of cream. “The cream may have soured--I’m afraid I can’t tell.” A sigh. He turned and leaned against the counter. “My father and brothers are content to live in their little delusions,” he said. “Delusions of power, grandeur. They know full well the human impact of what they’ve done, the ecological impact. They simply don’t care--they say that knowledge like this is larger than a few lives.”

A few? Ienzo thought. “The greater good?” he asked, sourly.

“...Quite.” Xehanort poured out two cups of black coffee and brought the tray over. “I simply… can’t understand. If my years under your father taught me anything, it’s that I have a moral duty to  _ use _ my knowledge to help people.”

“Then why sell us out?” Ienzo asked, before he could stop himself. “None of this would’ve happened if--”

“You think I’m not aware of that?” Xemnas seemed to take a moment to compose himself; he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. “For so long I tried to convince myself that the guilt I felt was worthless… but it was telling me something. Ienzo, when I became wrapped up in that plot I was seventeen, and vain, and convinced that your father was holding me back from what I could achieve. I was a child. It’s not an excuse, but children… are easy to manipulate. Being raised the way I was… I was convinced that darkness was the only way. But seeing what my brother has “accomplished”, and what it’s wrought… now I know that is not the case.”

Ienzo could feel Xemnas was telling the truth. 

“Darkness… slaughter of the magic users that could stop it in the name of “equality”... all it does it seal our fate.”

“Is it too late?”

“I sincerely hope not.” He crossed his legs, tapping his fingers against the rim of the cup. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, Ienzo. I’ve made your childhood something of a hell. I just hope that by… helping you, I can begin to atone for my many mistakes.” He looked Ienzo dead in the eye. “What is it you hope to achieve?”

Ienzo’s heart began to beat unevenly. “First you must give me reason to trust you.”

He thought he saw something like desperation flicker in Xemnas’s eye. “I could’ve told my father about your child, and where the rest of your family were. I could’ve had you waylaid by guards that night and exposed your true intentions. There are many things I could’ve done to cause you harm, and yet, I haven’t.”

Ienzo blinked. He took a sip of the coffee--so strong it just made his heart beat harder--and looked him dead in the eye. “Simply put, I would like to stage a coup,” he said. “With the momentum gained from that press conference, and the amount of trust they have in me, I want to unseat him and reclaim the throne in the name of my family. I have no desire to rule, true, but I also have no desire for unnecessary suffering.”

A sparkle in those gold eyes. “How do you plan on doing that?”

“That’s where things become… hazy,” Ienzo admitted. “I have no idea of his true reach. Something so violent as assassination would achieve… nothing. But people are rising up after seeing me. That outrage… may be useful.”

“Engage the proletariat?” Xemnas asked dryly.

“It’s worked before. The more disheveled, the more  _ unwell _ my appearance is _ , _ the more… pointed, my messages are, the more panic that could arouse. What’s more…” He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “I had hoped to access the main OS to give the resistance intelligence. Perhaps a leak could be organized. If people knew what Xehanort was doing to the earth, maybe the neutral will be spurned to action.”

A smile. “Perhaps it could. Moreover… should we… provide a united front, of sorts, that could give me leverage over my father. But is panic as powerful as you say it is?”

“It is… and more. Why do you think that the city-states folded as easily as they did?”

“But will that truly cause them to be angry enough to fight back? We have to… give them motivation.” He swallowed, and hesitated. “If we showed them the child--”

“My daughter will  _ not _ be used as a political pawn.”

“We have to remind them what’s at risk. Not just your child, Ienzo. Everyone’s. Something for you to consider, anyway.”

“Isn’t there another way?” Hadn’t he sacrificed enough? Just the thought of  _ asking _ Demyx for such a thing, when they’d all worked so hard to keep her safe--

But given her seeker charm… it would be a magnificent move--

Ienzo hated himself for even  _ considering _ it. But Xehanort trusted him this much. Would bringing Amalia here really cause her any harm? (More likely, she’d just turn into leverage he could use against Ienzo.)

“I can see this is causing you a great deal of internal struggle,” Xemnas said softly. “We need the public on our side, Ienzo.”

He was right. It made Ienzo feel sick.

Xemnas took their empty cups over to the sink. “Think on it,” he said. “This obviously isn’t a thing we should rush. In the meantime, I’ll see if I can arrange for us to go to that computer. Rather--I’ll go, and--”

“I’ll follow you invisibly.”

“However you think is smartest to do it.”

“...Right.” The coffee had just made him more anxious. “Though I do have… a question.”

“Of course.”

“That replica--the girl--Xion. She… looks like a friend of mine. Why is that?”

Xemnas cocked his head. “A… friend?” He thought. “The replicas--if they’re to have any appearance at all--have to be either modeled off of the person taking over the body, or of memories. Otherwise, they have no gender, no face… like mannequins. It’s… disquieting.” He sighed. “But even before that she had sentience, a… heart. She asked if I had any photos of girls she could base her looks on. One of the caretakers mentioned a granddaughter, and when I asked, she didn’t seem to mind.”

Ienzo put the pieces together. “Lydia… Lydia’s Kairi’s grandmother…” Kairi had mentioned she’d lived in Radiant Garden for a time-- 

“...Hence her willingness to help me with this, yes. Despite its supposed rarity… everyone seems to have some tie to magic, however small. Indeed, I wonder if its rarity was more propaganda.”

His head was spinning. “You may be right, Xemnas.” 

* * *

In a haze, Ienzo went back to his rooms. He dug out his phone from its hiding spot in the bathroom. There was one message from a number he didn’t initially recognize until he saw the photo attached.

_ I swear she looks just like you when she sleeps. _

Amalia, cradled against Demyx’s chest, mouth slightly open. Ienzo’s eyes watered.  _ Not necessarily. I don’t drool. _

_ You don’t THINK you drool. _

Ienzo laughed. He felt another stab of longing for both of them, more potent than the last, and sat on the lip of the tub. If he had to cry, he had to get it over with now, lest someone come look for him. He opened the phone’s gallery and flicked through the photos, fully expecting to see the last ones he’d taken before he’d been kidnapped. 

Demyx, it seemed, had been busy, dumping photos from his own phone into Ienzo’s library. Amalia in a bath, shrieking with delight. Amalia’s scales, thicker and more colorful than they were as a newborn. Amalia in everyone’s arms--Even, Aeleus, Ansem, even Isa? Tummy time. Playing in the park. Asleep, awake,  _ alive _ . Her hair had a little bit of curl to it--where had that come from? It had to be Demyx. 

The tears started to run in earnest now. He held the phone to his chest. He’d never been so weepy before becoming a parent, and it wasn’t as if he could blame the hormones anymore.  _ Cry it out. Cry it out. _ All the more reason to get back to work; the sooner this was all over, the sooner he could have his daughter back in his arms, the sooner he could get her to forget he’d ever been gone. 

He didn’t feel much when he was through, which was probably for the best. He held a cold cloth over his stinging eyes.

It was time to begin.


	24. Best Laid Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo and Xemnas go down to the lab.

The lab was colder than Ienzo remembered.

How many hours had he spent here as a boy, perched on somebody’s knee or getting in the way? And even then, despite the fact that not much could be done with the architecture of the room, there were always books, and cups of tea, and laughing people to make the room feel less sterile. 

It was cold--literally and figuratively--and empty, and silent other than the hum of the cooling fans, the ventilation.

“What is it you need?” Xemnas asked him.

Ienzo considered. He’d never done this without wires before, so it might be more complicated than he’d thought. “Watch the doors. Let me know if someone’s coming. I can’t keep up an illusion if I’m in there.”

It shouldn’t be easy to trust Xemnas, and to a degree it wasn’t--his heart was racing, and he hadn’t been able to sleep at all the night before. The only piece of good news in all this, relatively speaking, was that he’d started his period. One less thing to worry about. The thought of it was at the forefront of his mind; not because it was necessarily worse than he remembered, but because the last time he’d done such work, he’d been pregnant.

Xemnas tapped in the password. “It’s DoorToDarkness, for future reference,” he told Ienzo.

He almost groaned. “You’re kidding.”

A smile. “My father is nothing if not literal.” He touched Ienzo’s shoulder. “What do you need from me?”

“Keep watch. If someone comes… wake me.” There was a chair nearby; Ienzo dragged it over. He held his hands over the keys and let the magic flow under his skin.

The sensation was not so overwhelming now that he was used to it, but to be on the  _ other _ side was odd. He looked around, taking in shelves of books that served as a metaphor for files. Where to begin?

“Ienzo? Is that you?”

The relief he felt was immense. “Tron. Thank goodness.” It was dark here; he squinted. 

“Oh, so good to know you’re okay. The…” He gestured to Ienzo’s stomach. “Everything’s… okay?”

“A little girl. Almost seven months old.”

“Oh, that’s good. That’s very good.”

There was something smooth about his tone. Something odd. Off-putting. “Come into the light?”

Tron did so. He still wore a neat suit, but it was different, flecked through with threads of red that looked more like cracks. His expression was pinched, pained, and he moved with difficulty. “Hello, user,” he said. “I’m afraid you are--unauthorized--”

“Tron?”

“Another user is--accessing critical data--” He twitched. He mouthed the words “I’m sorry.”

“Xemnas!” Ienzo screamed. “Wake me up! Wake me up now!” He hadn’t realized how dependent he’d become on Cid’s interfacing with him to get  _ out _ . He tried to run from Tron, but with a glitch he was thrown against one of these shelves, a pair of hands around his throat.

“I’m--sorry--user--I’m--interfacing--accessing--memory--”

Ienzo struggled, feeling Tron flicking through his mind, but this body could not  _ breathe _ . Had Xemnas betrayed him? Why was this happening? But why would Xemnas betray him if--

Amalia flickered in his mind’s eye. The image flickered… and held. Tron’s grip loosened around his throat, and he fell. “No. No. Please. No.”

“Terminal--upload--copying--fifty-four percent--”

Ienzo pushed Tron hard, but the program just slumped over. “Do you know what you just did?”

Suddenly, with force, he found himself back in his body, which was in the process of being thrown. Ienzo hit the wall hard. His ears were ringing, and his vision grew blurry. He thought maybe he’d broken a rib or two and gasped for breath. He saw a crumpled brown-and-silver mass near the computer--Xemnas--and a pair of black boots approaching him.

“You’ve been a very naughty boy, haven’t you, Ienzo?” Young Xehanort asked. “Both of you.”

“How did you--”

“A program is not a person. All you have to do is mess with them a  _ little _ , and they’ll hand you everything you need to know on a plate.” He stepped on Ienzo’s chest, pressing hard. “So naturally, when you began to be friends with my brother, who has always suffered so  _ dramatically _ from middle child syndrome… well, it was only a matter of time, right?”

“What will you do?” He had to gasp the words. 

“Well, considering the wealth of information I just accessed… I have a lot of work to do. Wouldn’t you like to see your family, Ienzo?” He pressed harder, and Ienzo’s vision started to darker. “Wouldn’t you like to hold your little  _ baby _ again? I can do all that and more. Yes. I think they’ll all be quite comfortable where we can see them.”

“Don’t hurt her--”

Hands snapped to his throat. “You have no right to tell me what to do.”

Darkness.

* * *

A cold, wet cloth was being pressed against his throat. Not hard, but enough to be disorienting. Ienzo gasped a little.

“Easy. Easy.” Xemnas’s voice. “You’re hurt. Don’t move.”

The air smelled musty, and his body felt  _ wrong _ , his power dead, heavy. His chest ached tremendously, and so did his throat. He tried to swallow. His vision wouldn’t quite focus.

“Seems to me several ribs are broken, and you may have a concussion. You were also strangled until you lost consciousness.”

“Where--” He tried to ask, but all it sounded like was “wh”.

“We’re being kept in a cell in my brother’s lab. Fitting, is it not? Try not to speak. You may damage your vocal cords further.”

Ienzo tried to sit up, but the pain almost made him cry out. Xemnas eased him back down onto the small cot. 

“Do you think you can drink some water? I’ve no idea if it will help, but--” Water running, a cold metal cup being brought to his lips. “At least we have this much.”

The cold water both hurt and felt good to get inside of him. “S...sorr…”

“There’s no way you could’ve anticipated this, Ienzo.”

“Tron… corru…”

“He was quite proud to tell me he’s been watching you for some time. I promise I had no idea.”

“My… my ba…” 

“I do not know if my father pursued them. If they’re smart, they might be able to get away. But knowing him… the whole city watch, Heartless, would’ve found them with ease. I like to  _ think _ my father would not kill an innocent child. Not if she might be of use.”

He felt a thick rush of tears, and the added swelling in his throat made him unable to breathe for a moment. Xemnas dampened the cloth around his throat again. “I’m trying to figure this out. Somehow. There are still people on our side. You must rest.”

“I can’t… My dau…” He coughed, so hard and for so long his vision went gray, between the broken ribs and the swelling in his throat. He tasted blood. Xemnas turned him so that he might spit it into the empty cup. 

“...I just hope there’s no internal damage.”

There was the sound of muffled beeping, and a metal door sliding open. Ienzo was so dizzy, and nauseous; definitely concussed, he decided hazily. 

“My father desires an audience.”

“Brother--”

“You are no brother of mine.”

“At least give the child a potion. He can barely breathe.”

“As if I would trust a single word that comes out of your filthy mouth. Come. Get  _ up _ . I’ll drag you if I have to.”

Ienzo swallowed blood. “Hel… help…”

Xemnas eased him gently to his feet. The man flinched when he took Ienzo’s weight--he must’ve been injured somehow too--and when he set Ienzo on his own, his whole abdomen ached from the lack of support. 

Young Xehanort grabbed his wrist roughly and towed him out of the cell. Every step, every  _ breath _ , hurt, and he wasn’t completely convinced he would stay conscious. He tried to bear it, if so to beg for his daughter’s life, and in a strange fugue he found himself in the throne room. 

“My dear  _ prince. _ ” There was venom to his words now. “Well. I should’ve known better, shouldn’t I? You played your cards almost  _ perfectly _ . Were it not for my son’s vigilance, you could’ve wrought a whole lot of havoc, couldn’t you?”

Ienzo’s vision was blurry. He took a few stumbling steps forward and knelt, despite the wave of agony it caused him. “F-forgive…”

“We’re beyond that, I think.” 

“P-please don’t hu--” He spat up more blood. He heard a muffled scream to his right, and the sound was so familiar that fear washed through him. As slowly as he could without causing himself pain, Ienzo turned towards the source of the noise. 

Demyx. Crumpled at the foot of Young Xehanort’s throne, his hands bound. Ienzo just barely saw Braig behind them, his expression stony.

Xehanort smiled. “I’m sure our guest needs no introduction. You have quite a  _ close _ relationship, don’t you? It’s alright. Say hello. Go to him.” 

Demyx dashed over to him. “Ienzo. Ienzo. You’re so--” He could do little more than dab the blood off of his face. 

“Wh-when did he--”

“They got us last night. All of us. At once.”

“Whe--”

“She’s okay. She’s okay, Ienzo. He left her with Even.”

“...Enough chit chat, I think.” 

Demyx knelt and helped Ienzo lean against him. He pressed Ienzo’s hand, very subtly, against his pocket. Ienzo could feel the outline of a knife. No doubt that in the panic of their capture Demyx had been too worried about the baby to use it. Ienzo tried to work it out with small twitches.

This wasn’t going to be easy.

There were Heartless guards, even if Braig decided to help them. Even if Xehanort truly was as frail as he looked--and Ienzo was sure he wasn’t--there was also the matter of his son, glowering behind him, his own power not to be underestimated. Ienzo was wounded, his power jammed, and potentially all Xehanort would have to do was whisper before his whole family was killed.

But what else could he do? He was found out. Surely that wouldn’t mean leniency. And honestly? He’d  _ rather _ everyone be dead than forced into a life of suffering and servitude. The knife slid into his hand, and he forced it up his sleeve as Xehanort spoke. 

“You’ve caused me an awful lot of trouble, with your antics,” Xehanort began. “So much so that I can’t even justify keeping you as a pet. You’ve made it personal, so I shall do the same in turn. Child?”

But he was not speaking to Ienzo--all of a sudden there was another muffled cry and Demyx was pulled away from him. Young Xehanort  _ dragged _ him across the stone, and despite Demyx’s struggling, it was fruitless. He threw him down at his father’s feet.

“What do you want?” Ienzo forced out painfully. He glanced at Braig.  _ Do something, _ he thought desperately.

“Ienzo, it is not  _ nice _ to hurt people who have treated you well.” He grasped Demyx by the hair. “It’s a shame. You could’ve been useful to me too. Seeker blood. You must be close to the last of your kind, no?”

“Fuck you,” Demyx spat, and Xehanort kicked him hard in the groin. “I’ll kill you,” he continued. “I’ll ki--”

It happened so fast that Ienzo could barely see it; all he knew was that suddenly Demyx was bleeding heavily from a spot below his heart, curling and convulsing on the cold marble.

“Rather annoying, that one,” Young Xehanort said. 

Xehanort came closer to him. “You see, Ienzo, you need  _ motivation _ ,” he continued. “You agree to help me,  _ truly _ help me, and I’ll heal him. I’ll heal you both. Your child, your filthy  _ family _ , will be safe. There is no need for suffering. It is counterproductive to what I want. You could usher in a new era of knowledge, of  _ equality _ .”

“D-don’t--” Demyx forced out. “Don’t--”

“Shut up, boy. Kingdom Hearts could be  _ ours _ . Your power, our strength. Decide quickly, Ienzo. It seems you’re running out of time.”

The proper thing to do would be to submit. Agree absolutely, yes, just stop the bleeding. Try to con his way out of this. But seeing Demyx twitch on the ground drowned out all reason, and something snapped. Ienzo screamed. Heat bled out of him, forcing against the jam, shattering it, a wave of magic making his skin burn. The sight of Demyx’s blood only made the burn worse, scalding, needing to get near him to  _ heal _ , his whole soul crying out in agony. Suddenly it became clear why it was called soul _ binding. _

“I told you he would not see reason,” Young Xehanort spat. “Why do you keep going after and after what will never succumb to you?”

Ienzo reached for the knife. Xehanort grasped his face. “This pain will pass, boy. This world can be… great again. I can shepherd in an era of--”

“Like hell you will.” It took the rest of his physical strength, but Ienzo took the knife, and all of his power, and he forced it outward, the Heartless guards to shiver and collapse and he forced the metal up through flesh and bone-- Xehanort collapsed, and the blood ran hot against Ienzo, but he didn’t care. He saw Braig grasp at Young Xehanort’s head and slit his neck. He could barely feel his body in this strange maelstrom of pain and numbness. He dragged himself over to Demyx, who had gone pale and still. “No.” He slapped at his face. “No, no, no--”

“Zo,” he slurred. 

“It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.” He held his hand over the wound and pulled. Healing Isa had been easy, with the magic from the birth, but he was fighting the jamming, and his own weakness, and he could not  _ feel _ his own body, though somehow he felt like he was on  _ fire _ \--

Amalia needed Demyx.

The thought of her gave him enough strength to heal the wound--

“Zo?” Demyx’s voice was stronger now, and suddenly Ienzo was being the one cradled. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t  _ move _ \--

“I killed him. They’re dead,” he whispered.

“What’s wrong--why are you--”

“Too much…” He heard more than felt his teeth chattering. “Too much magic--”

“How do I fix it?”

“Can’t.”

“What do you mean I can’t?”

“Can’t--”

Then, the sound of footsteps and another voice-- “Braig--?  _ Ienzo? _ ”

“Even--how did you--you’re covered in blood--”

“Not mine--don’t worry about that--”

“Dad?” Ienzo forced out. 

“Child…”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“He’s in… shock. I need…”

For a long while, everything just stopped.


	25. Reconstruction/Deconstruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Radiant Garden under control of the resistance, it's time to rebuild. Ienzo tries to repair the damage done to his family.

White sheets. Cool air. Color and light. He felt so  _ heavy,  _ and it took him a moment of grappling into consciousness to realize it was because he could barely move his legs. 

“Ienzo? Love?”

Ienzo turned his head as much as he was able. He seemed to have motion in his upper body, but even that was difficult, like tugging on puppet strings. “Ev-even?” He swallowed.

“Would you like some water? I’ll get some. Don’t move.”

As if he could help it. Blurrily, he saw Even retreat to a corner of this room--the castle infirmary?--and pour water from a pitcher. He knew he should be grateful to still be sighted at all, after using so much magic. He squinted. Even handed him the cup; he could barely close his hand around it, but he managed it at last. Despite IV fluids, he was so  _ thirsty _ . 

“Are you in any pain? I can get you some medication if--”

“No. I’m not. But I can’t… it’s hard to move.” 

“...I know.” Even smoothed some of the hair from Ienzo’s face. His own face was pale, pinched, a large bruise along his throat yellowing. “From the magic use. Breaking down a limiter of that strength… then triggering what you did… frankly, it’s a miracle you’re still alive.”

“Will I be like this… always?”

“I’m optimistic you’ll recover yet, but… there may be some lingering effects.”

“What’s happened? How long have I been out? Where’s Amalia? Where’s--?”

“One thing at a time, child. It’s imperative you remain calm.”

Ienzo tried to center himself, tried to take deep breaths. Even took his hand and rubbed it, gently. 

“Amalia is safe and well. I suspect Ansem is enjoying having time with her. Once he received some blood replacement, Demyx was fine too. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled you’re awake. It was all rather… dramatic, how it went down. You’ve been unconscious close to three weeks.”

“Aeleus? ...Isa? What of… everything else? Xehanort’s forces? The son who called himself Ansem? He wasn’t in the throne room that day--”

Even’s eyes went blank, and he turned towards the window. “I’m afraid when I… felt your burst of magic--it was felt  _ everywhere, _ Ienzo, I don’t think you understand--I assumed the worst and I--I did something reckless. He was our jailer, in my old labs, something he no doubt had great pleasure in. For the first time in my life… I acted on impulse.” He looked at his free hand, which was trembling. “I knew you were in trouble, and I--”

Ienzo had never heard Even sound so shaky. He choked down guilt. “You killed him.”

“...He was the gatekeeper.” He’d turned faintly green.

“Was that the first time you took a life?”

“It does not matter. It needed to happen either way.” He swallowed. “I made my way there, with ease. You killed every Heartless in the vicinity. Those that were human were knocked unconscious, or fled.”

“I… I did?”

“...Quite. The initial scouting indicates that… you may have slain every one in the city.”

“It was not conscious,” he admitted. “All I saw was that Demyx was bleeding out and the soulbinding reacted to all that--”

“--and the rush of emotions triggered magic. Of course it did.” 

Ienzo lay back a little. “So without the three of them… and no Heartless…”

“The capital city’s under the control of the resistance.” But there was no happiness in his expression.

“Shouldn’t we be… glad? This is among the best case scenarios--”

“The sudden death of Xehanort and two of his sons has caused something like a power vacuum. The people don’t know how to react. There’s still darkness and various devotees of it spread throughout the country.  _ Some _ states have turned over towards us, but others are… hesitant. Waiting to see might happen. And there are those who are outright fighting. Aeleus and Isa are among the front line, trying to see what can be done to restore order without worsening things. Meanwhile your father is trying to pursue international aid… and research better ways to defeat the darkness.”

“And of you?”

A pause. “I’ve been taking care of you.”

“I’m sure you’ll be relieved to go back to research, then.”

Even reached forward to smooth Ienzo’s hair. “To be truthful, it has been nice, to have this space to think. To consider.”

Ienzo understood. “...It’s alright if you’re upset, Even.”

“It is so  _ silly _ , that I feel such guilt for killing one who’s killed thousands with his actions--but my feelings are not important.”

“I’m sure that’s not the case.” Ienzo struggled to sit up; Even adjusted the pillows under him. “So much for fighting back.”

“I think you’ve done enough. You must recover for what comes next.”

“Amalia. I need to see her.”

He hesitated. 

“Please, Even.”

“...Quite.” He seemed to go a little deeper into himself. “Perhaps there will be one day when I’m not constantly in fear of your life.”

“I sincerely hope so.”

Ienzo watched him leave the room. He’d never seen Even so scattered before, so almost…  _ unsure _ . Had something else happened he was not telling Ienzo, about the man calling himself Ansem? That bruise…

He hadn’t been conscious long, but he was already exhausted. He could still  _ feel _ his legs, but moving was the problem. Perhaps he could get a wheelchair, and get around that way? He couldn’t seriously sit around and do  _ nothing _ while all this fighting happened--

The door opened. In came Demyx, carrying their daughter. She’d gotten even bigger since Ienzo last saw her--another  _ month _ he’d missed--and she was chewing on a teething ring. “Hey,” he said, softly. Like Even, his eyes were closed off. 

“How do you feel?” Ienzo asked.

“Me? Oh, I’m fine. Ugly scar, but oh well, right? How are… you?” Amalia was staring at him, not with fear like before, but perhaps curiosity. Ienzo tried to reach out to her with his magic, but it was like swatting wet laundry; it didn’t come instantly to his call. So instead he reached out one trembling hand. She smiled and handed him the slimy teething ring. “Oh, sweetie, I’m sure daddy doesn’t want that.”

“Could I…” He wasn’t sure he was physically strong enough to hold her. 

“Ah… sure.” Demyx pulled the chair closer to the bed and plopped her onto the mattress. “I’ve been… bringing her in here for a while every day. While daddy takes his long nap, right?”

She made a sound like “boo.”

“She talks.” Tears rose to his eyes.

“Well. Vocalizes.”

She clapped her hands together. 

“And she can hold herself up.”

“She crawls, too. Ah--like that.” She had dragged herself almost across Ienzo’s lap. “I have a feeling she’ll be running before long.” 

Amalia looked up at him and made a noise that could only be expressed as “?” 

“Daddy,” Demyx said to her helpfully. “You remember now, yeah.”

“Baba.”

“Daddy. Good.” He smoothed the curls off her forehead. 

Ienzo felt a rush of affection which was almost painful. “Look at you, big girl.” He wasn’t sure what else to say. She tugged at the sleeve of his robe. “Can you help me?” he asked Demyx.

“Sure.” He eased her into his lap. Amalia pressed her cheek against his chest. “See? Crisis averted.”

“I’m guessing the curls came from you.”

“The only time my hair was long enough to tell was when I was underwater, so.” He shrugged. Amalia gave him a toothless smile. “Look at you, happy girl.” 

Ienzo noticed the difference in his voice when he spoke to the two of them. “Are you comfortable? Here?”

“Oh, yeah. Ansem set us up nice in your old room. If you don’t mind.”

“Why would I mind?”

Another shrug. “Oof, drool patrol.” He grabbed a tissue and dabbed at it. “She’s teething something wicked.” 

“Maybe the next time you come you could bring me a book, so I could read to her.”

“She’d probably like that.”

Ienzo wrapped his arms loosely around her, and she let him. Feeling the warmth and weight of her--the subtle twitch of her limbs-- and hearing her little babbling eased this awful ache he’d had for so long. “I missed you,” he said to her. He kissed her head. “I missed you so much. I just… hope we can be a family now.”

“That would be nice,” he said softly. “Wouldn’t it?” The last part he repeated in a goofy voice, and Amalia laughed. “You think you’ll be okay?”

“Even’s optimistic. And I trust him.”

“He’s been up here almost constantly.”

“But the castle is… safe, for you two?”

“Oh, yeah. Magic users crawling out of the woodwork to help. I've still got some fight in me."

“I hope that soon I can be back on my feet, and start being a bigger part of her life.”

“One thing at a time.” Ienzo wondered if he was imagining the flatness in his eyes. “Isn’t that right, Li-li?” 

* * *

It took Ienzo weeks to start feeling something resembling “normal.” For several nights the pain of his healing nerves kept him awake, but at least once it was through with he could limp around a little. He could play with Amalia a little more actively. Physical therapy made him somewhat stronger, and while he had to use a cane to walk more than a few steps, Even believed it would be gone before long.

Members of his family and the resistance ducked in and out. Ansem brought him books, briefed him on the situation as it developed. “Almost feels as though my skills to rule have grown rusty,” he admitted. “It is difficult to tell… which members of parliament left are lying, when they say they did not hold any allegiance towards Xehanort. I’m tempted to dissolve the whole thing and hold elections, but we simply can’t do so at the moment. Making sure our people are fed and safe and cared for is more important than politics at the moment. Thankfully the bordering nations have been kind enough to send along resources and medics.”

“I wish I could help,” Ienzo said. “Being here, waylaid and  _ helpless _ \--”

Ansem just patted his hand. “You jumpstarted a revolution, Ienzo,” he said. 

“So I’m told, but I wonder if you all are exaggerating to salve my ego.”

The pat became more of a squeeze. “Control of Radiant Garden was crucial,” he said. “And you achieved that.”

“Only because Xehanort mortally wounded Demyx, and I reacted instinctively--were it not for that my whole plan would’ve collapsed--”

“Ienzo. Why are you being hard on yourself?”

He felt tears in his eyes. “These past six months… I’ve been sitting here in luxury playing silly mind games while my daughter grew up without me, while the rest of you  _ suffered. _ ”

“You did the best you could with what you had--and you did pretty damn well. This guilt is pointless, Ienzo.”

“I… I know.”

“We are together now. We will rebuild. And I hope things will be better than they were before.”

He sniffled. “Is it over? Can it just  _ be _ over?”

Ansem drew him into an embrace.

* * *

Spring began in earnest. Ienzo realized one morning as he woke in the infirmary that the lingering smell of darkness that had hung over Radiant Garden was gone, and a fresh rain brought in the sea air. He no longer needed the cane, but he tired easily, and his legs still ached tremendously. Once he was well enough, he insisted that he be more involved in the reconstruction, insofar as he could.

There was the reality of Xehanort’s youngest son’s experiments. Ienzo had purged the Heartless, but the poor people who had not been transformed were instead traumatized and in some cases catatonic. While there were doctors and psychologists willing to help them, it was hard to tell if they  _ could _ be helped. Ansem organized national days of mourning for those who had been lost, and released the lists of names so families could have closure. The youngest son had kept meticulous records.

He asked community leaders to come forward with ideas as to help their nation move on. Darkness still existed; but now that people had hope, they were more willing to fight. That, and with the darkness easing, they were getting early signs that the planet could still heal. Ienzo swore he could feel its pulse, its life reaching up to his magic. He wished he did not feel so powerless.

“We don’t want things to go back to the way they were,” Ansem said in a broadcast. “Clearly, “normal” meant “suffering” for some. Darkness… only made that pain more obvious. If we wish to maintain the light, we must  _ heal _ one another.”

Finally, Ienzo was well enough to go back to his rooms, and begin repairing his family… because it was going to take a lot of work. Amalia was more familiar with him, more comfortable, but still she always looked towards Demyx when she needed something. 

And there was the matter of… Demyx.

At first Ienzo thought the distance between them was all paranoia on his part, but it became clear in the way Demyx spoke to him, especially when it came to their daughter. “You dressed her in that? She hates that one, it’s itchy against her scales.” “Sure. You can do that. I guess.” “Look, I know you’re trying, but strawberries give her  _ gas _ .” “You let her nap too long. Now she’s not going to sleep through the night.” That, and the  _ flatness _ in his eyes. It wasn’t openly unfriendly, but it lacked the warmth that they’d had before.

More straining than this, in some ways, was sharing a bed. Ienzo had honestly been looking forward to reconnecting on a physical level--he hoped it would help him sleep the deep way he had when they lived together--but that first night Demyx just rolled onto his side and fell asleep. He let it go a few nights, wondering if it were just a pain of readjustment, if he were just used to sleeping alone. Finally, he just got fed up and crawled over to spoon him, jerking him out of his sleep. “What are you--?”

“Trying to touch you?”

“Well could you please not?”

For a moment there was just silence.

Demyx exhaled heavily and ran his hand through his hair. “Look, I… I’m sorry for snapping. But I… I’m not  _ comfortable _ .”

Ienzo swallowed and felt a lump in his throat. “Would you prefer I slept elsewhere?”

“No, it’s… it’s fine.” 

Ienzo eased back to his side of the bed. He knew he would not be able to sleep. As it was, he was struggling not to cry. 

The next day they behaved as normally as they could in front of their daughter, but when Ansem came and asked if he could spend some time with her, Ienzo agreed before Demyx could get a word in edgewise. “We need to talk,” Ienzo said. 

Demyx wrinkled his nose. “Do we have to?”

“Yes. We do.” Ienzo was surprised to feel his temper flare, but he kept it in check. “Look, we’re… we’re parents, and we’re  _ soulmates _ . A lot has happened, and you have a right to feel the way you do. But that can’t begin to heal if we keep ignoring it.”

He seemed to not know what to say.

“How do you feel, Demyx?” Ienzo asked. 

He rubbed at his arm. “I feel like… I feel…” He swallowed. “Something’s just  _ wrong _ ? With me?”

“You’re processing.”

“Not that. I don’t know. For a long time I just missed you so much it hurt, and I didn’t know how I was going to do any of it, be her dad, or…” He trailed off, a flush darkening his face. “And then I saw you again, and you were alive, and I was  _ so _ happy and  _ so _ relieved and I don’t know what happened since then. Something’s wrong.”

A suspicion slid into place, and Ienzo’s voice shook when he asked, “wrong  _ how _ ?”

Tears flooded his eyes. “I don’t  _ feel _ anything. When I look at you. You’re the father of my child. But it’s just… I feel like… I was meant to be her dad, but… I don’t know if I’m meant to be with you?” His voice quivered and broke. “I want to. I want to be in love with you again. But I…”

“I think I understand,” Ienzo said woodenly. 

Demyx hesitated. He stared at Ienzo for a moment, and then he took a few steps forward and kissed him, hard.

And it was different.

Physically, it felt the same, the way they moved together. But it was just a nice kiss, without the heavy reassurance that  _ yes _ ,  _ this is part of you, everything is safe, everything is okay. _

In his mind’s eye, Ienzo saw Xehanort gouging him below the heart. “Oh,” he said softly.

“What’s wrong with me, Ienzo? Am I just depressed?”

“No,” he said. Numbly, he pulled away. 

“...What?”

And then he started laughing. 

“ _ What _ ?”

Once he began, he couldn’t stop, until tears were running down his face, and he couldn’t breathe, and somewhere the gasps of laughter became sobs, and he was curled in a ball on the floor. He felt Demyx’s hand on his back, warm but the touch was so  _ wrong _ . 

“Ienzo. What is it?”

He looked up. “Xehanort broke the soulbound.”


	26. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo and Demyx try to come to terms with their broken soulbond. Ienzo helps Ansem rebuild their shattered kingdom.

Even just held his palm over Demyx’s chest for a long time. “I’d thought--something felt off--but back when you were injured, I was…” He swallowed. “Perhaps a bit compromised--”

“Is it possible?” Ienzo asked. He was feeling weak, and his legs were aching. His own chest felt heavy. He wondered if this was what heartbreak felt like. 

“Is it  _ possible _ ? Yes. Is it  _ easy? _ No. Doubtless he used darkness to sever that bond. No wonder your attack was so powerful, Ienzo, and sent you right into shock.”

“So it’s… true?” Demyx sounded like he’d been punched in the groin. “We’re really…”

He sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“But what about pairbonding?” Ienzo asked quickly. “If we are on some level intrinsically compatible, couldn’t we reestablish that bond in some small way?  _ Choose _ it?”

“I suppose you… could,” Even said. 

“Can it be fixed?” Demyx asked. 

“It could only be fixed by whoever bound you… and the seeker colony in Destiny Islands is more or less eradicated.”

“What of my magic?” Ienzo asked. Yet again, he felt near tears. He didn’t think he’d ever cried so much. “If I am supposedly so powerful--”

Even’s eyes were very tired. “I suppose with your power--at its peak--it’s theoretically possible. But it’s not at its peak, Ienzo. Can you even feel it, after what happened?”

“...Scarcely.”

“What do we…” Demyx was gasping. “What do we do?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know.” It seemed to pain him to admit. “Perhaps you could work on this pairbond? Perhaps? There’s no spell or procedure I know that can fix this.”

Demyx just stared at Ienzo a long time. Wordlessly, he got up and left the room. Ienzo went to follow, but Even just took his hand. 

“Let him,” he said. “He needs to grieve.”

“I feel such… pain,” Ienzo said. “Such…”

“Lie here.” He did so and felt Even probe him. “...Sadist,” he muttered.

“What?”

“He broke the bond on one end only.”

“Solely to cause me pain?”

“Quite.”

“But if I still have it…” His own breaths were coming hard and fast. “Can I… could it…”

“Reform? Ienzo, I have no idea. This is so far out of my depths I’m speculating.” He squeezed Ienzo’s shoulder. “You need time.”

“I feel like I’m bleeding.”

“I know, child.” He drew him into an embrace. “I know.”

* * *

To his surprise, Demyx was actually in with Amalia when he left Even’s lab. He was singing to her softly in that old language again, and she was clapping her hands and squealing with delight. If Ienzo had not been in so much pain, he would’ve garnered some pleasure from the grin she gave him when she saw him. She reached up to him.

“She wants you,” Demyx said numbly. Ienzo scooped her into his arms. He was still physically weak; it took work to pretend that picking her up didn’t tire him. 

“Dad is giving you a concert, huh?” he asked. She just reached up to put her hands on his face.

“Noses are her new favorite thing,” he said, turning away to pick up toys off of the floor.

“I know, Demyx. I was here when that started.”

He jerked a little. “Right… I forgot. Still kinda stuck in single dad mode.”

“I suppose you must be.” Amalia babbled happily. “Do you want to see the gardens? Go outside?” She laughed. “How are you feeling?”

“Me?” His eyes were red. “Oh, you know.” His expression said  _ as if I would answer in front of the baby. _

“Perhaps you would want to… have some dinner later?”

He hesitated. “Okay. Just tell them to give her plastic this time, or maybe not anything glass they care about.”

He tried not to let his pain show. “...Alright.”

* * *

Ienzo thought he might be losing his mind. He knew giving into this heartbreak was exactly what Xehanort would’ve wanted, but it wasn’t like he could  _ help _ it. Every time he saw Demyx he thought he might scream. Keeping something resembling peace between them for their daughter’s sake made it all the harder. Ienzo knew that as a seeker this was hitting doubly hard for him, but at the same time, was there really so  _ little _ between them without the soulbond to justify this?

Ienzo began sleeping on the chaise in the drawing room near his daughter’s crib. He was not asked to do it, but sharing such a cold bed only made it harder. It wasn’t as though he slept well lately anyway. Demyx didn’t comment on it. Ienzo noticed he had stopped singing.

How could he begin to fix this?

Despite it all, there  _ was _ still massive national upheaval. So Ienzo devoted himself to the care of Amalia and to his work. 

The west coast was still giving them the most trouble. Pockets of Xehanort’s supporters--the ones who had helped the spread of his regime in the first place--held their towns hostage. The negotiations were complicated, and messy, and while Ienzo wanted nothing more for them to be judged for their heinous crimes, Ansem advocated  _ leniency _ of all things. “If we jail them, they’ll just make it worse for their citizens,” he said. “The people’s safety is more important.”

“But if we let them off  _ now _ there will never be a case in the future.” The courts, too, were still in shambles. 

“You must learn compromise, Ienzo,” Ansem said gently.

Ienzo just stared at the sea of papers on the table where they were working. “After all these years… all the studies Even forced on me… I feel like I truly know  _ nothing _ about becoming king.”

Ansem reached over and rubbed his shoulder. “You could have all the preparation in the world and you’d still feel naked,” he told him. “I did.”

“You did? But you’re so… well, wise.”

He chuckled. “Child, I was the “spare” in the “heir and a spare.” I did not anticipate  _ ever _ having to go into politics, more than showing up to silly royal functions--that was all on your mother. So our mother let me go into my science, into my research, then all of a sudden one day I’m receiving a call that suddenly… I have been…  _ ascended. _ ” He said the word bitterly. “I felt just as you do now. Helpless. Stupid. Ignorant.”

“How did you know I feel all those things?”

“It’s on your face.” He smiled. “I will help you, Ienzo. I’m not going to throw you to the wolves. We will rebuild together, which may take years. Once things have settled… we can revisit the matter as to whether or not you’re  _ ready _ to rule independently.”

His eyes were hot from looking at so much paper. “Is it bad to say I did not think I’d ever get here? I always thought… I’d be running forever… I never envisioned a future for myself, much less my people. I never thought I'd actually live to rule.”

“A trauma response, doubtless.”

“You think I’m traumatized?”

“Surely you didn’t think such a life was mentally  _ good _ for you? Living in the moment was the only way to cope.”

“I still don’t feel safe.”

“I know. And I’m sorry.”

There was a long pause. Ansem got up and turned on the electric kettle. “It is nice, to be together again,” Ienzo admitted. “Were I alone… I don’t think I could cope.”

Ansem handed him a cup of tea. “Connection is imperative.”

“...Yes.” He tried not to think of Demyx. He felt his nails digging into his palms. “Father, I…”

“It’s alright, Ienzo. You must grieve.” A substantial pause. “But with pain comes vulnerability, which might be useful. I was wondering…”

“What?”

“...If it might be time to reintroduce you to the people. The real you, not the mask you put on for Xehanort. You… and your daughter.”

Ienzo swallowed. “I looked like a traitor.”

“You were a captive doing your best to subvert an entire  _ regime _ , which you did. Besides. I think the presence of your child… will make you look paternal. Trustworthy.”

“There’s so much we haven’t spoken about,” he murmured. “My time as a captive… my child… all this… this  _ guilt _ I feel… the fact that I’ve taken human lives… I…”

“It’s alright to be upset.”

“My emotions are so close to my skin.”

“I’d be shocked if they weren’t.”

Ienzo shuddered. “And it feels strange to cry in front of you.”

He hugged him. “It’s alright, Ienzo. Best to do so rather than hold it all in.”

So he did. He felt like a child, but all the pain inside of him needed out somehow. Who else was he comfortable in front of? Not Demyx, surely, and Even was struggling with his own issues.

He wasn’t sure he felt better afterwards. He just felt exhausted. Ansem offered him a tissue. “I’m told Remy was able to recreate the sea salt ice cream you loved as a boy. Perhaps you might like to have some.”

“I think I need it, yes.”

* * *

Ienzo dangled Ansem’s proposal in front of Demyx, tentatively. “It was to happen eventually anyway, given her status,” he said. He couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact.

“...She’s only eight months old,” he said. 

“It’s not like she’d have any duties. That is to say--”

“It’s to clear your name.”

“...As I am to be king, you have to admit it’s important.”

“...I dunno. Seems like you made your bed on that one.”

He’d had about enough. “What was I do to, then?” he snapped. “Fight and fight and fight and what, get killed? All that would’ve meant is Xehanort would still be here, still quite literally killing the earth, and Amalia would’ve grown up without me. I am doing my best, Demyx. I am. She is my child too. And sometimes I am allowed to make decisions on her behalf.”

Amalia seemed confused at the razors in his voice. She gasped once and started to cry. “You’re upsetting her,” Demyx said. “She’s not used to people--” His face flushed. Then, “What are we going to do, Ienzo?”

“What do you mean?”

“Us. With her.”

For a moment, Ienzo thought he might faint. “Do you really think there’s nothing salvageable?” he asked in a strangled voice. “Do you really think it’s not worth  _ trying _ \--”

“I don’t  _ know. _ ” He was shaking. “All I know is that a huge part of me is fucking dead. And I just… wonder…” He took a shuddering breath. “I lost everything. My family, my memories, my friends, and now you?”

“...I know. I know that. Did you forget I did too?”

Silence. Amalia was still crying, more quietly. Ienzo scooped her up and kissed her brow. 

“I was in hiding for twelve years before I met you. I know how you feel, Demyx. I do. I can’t pretend to understand how this affects your magic. I just know that… squabbling about all this isn’t going to help anything. I still…” He swallowed. “I still love you. And I understand if you can’t find that love within you. But for our daughter…” Diplomacy. Diplomacy. “Can we please at least be friendly? Come to agreements?”

He was breathing hard. “I was alone for so long.”

“I know.”

“We were supposed to be happy.”

“I know.”

“Is this… ever going to end?”

Ienzo stroked Amalia’s hair. “Consider this,” he said softly. “By giving into this despair, we’re just giving Xehanort more power. By not fighting for one another, we’re letting him  _ win. _ He wanted to divide us.”

Demyx’s eyes were watering. 

“...I’m going to give her a bath. Let me know if you’d like to talk more about this. I certainly would.”

Once he had Amalia in the water, he couldn’t help but shed a few more tears of his own, feeling weak. She reached up with her wet little hands. “Ba,” she said, confused.

“I’m sorry for fighting in front of you, love. That wasn’t right. It won’t happen again.”

“Mm,” she said. He poured a cupful of water over her. 

“Was what you told me right? Is this all going to work out?” 

She cocked her head, her wet curls swaying slightly. 

“...Perhaps you might like me to read you  _ The Great Escape _ again before bed?”

She squealed. “Ba! Ba!”

“...Book. Very good.”

She picked at her navel. Ienzo found himself oddly envious of simpler times.  _ This is not good for my mental state, _ he thought.  _ Perhaps I should seek therapy as well. _ She made an odd face, and then shrugged her tiny shoulders. 

“Are you itchy again?” He reached behind her to give her back a good scratch along the scales, in inverse Ls on her shoulder blades. She sighed. “Yes, feels better, doesn’t it?”

She opened her eyes wide. For a moment Ienzo was convinced she was seeing  _ into _ him, and he felt dizzy. She reached up to touch his face, her small wet palm catching in his hair and pressing against his blind eye. 

“Don’t poke people’s eyes, sweetie, it’s not ni…” A very, very odd feeling rushed over him, a vertigo, a prickling in his being. Everything inside of him went limp, and he collapsed.


	27. Freed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone keeps working hard to build peace. Amalia turns one.

"Is he okay?"

“I wonder if she might have accidentally cast a sleep spell on him. Vitals are stable. Nothing  _ else _ seems particularly out of the ordinary.”

Amalia’s squeal brought him fully into consciousness. “My… baby…”

“She’s alright, Ienzo. Hit you with some magic, is all. And so soon.” Even helped him sit up. He was sopping wet--had he wet himself? No, he’d been giving her a bath, that was why.

Something felt odd. Off. His vision… had he hit his head? But wouldn’t Even say if he had a concussion? Ienzo blinked. It was violet. Why? He felt so dazed, something stirring so  _ hesitantly _ inside of him, and he could hear himself panting.

“...You  _ sure _ he’ll be alright?”

“...Ienzo, how do you feel, love?”

An almost painful prickling in the pit of his being. “...Sick…”

“Lean over the tub. There’s a dear.”

He vomited. Even held his hair back. The prickling worsened. As he looked down at the sick, he realized--“Even?” he stammered.

“How do you feel?”

“She healed me.”

He frowned.

The oddity in his vision was the presence of depth perception for the first time in thirteen years. “My eye. I can see with it. And I suspect…” Nausea rolled over him again, and he heaved. “I think she may have… jumpstarted my magical field’s recovery.”

“Oh. Quite.  _ Quite. _ That is… fascinating…” His eyes became distant, the way they did when he was thinking hard. “I’ve never gotten to study the intersection of a royal child and they who gave birth to them…”

Ienzo swatted at the hair in front of his eyes. The world was painfully clear. He felt…  _ stronger. _ “I need to clean up this mess.”

“I shall handle it. You need rest.”

“No. I don’t think I do. I feel… fine.” A giddiness overtook him. If he had this magic back… perhaps he could fix the soulbond. “I feel  _ good _ .”

Even pressed a hand against his forehead. “Well at least there’s that much.”

* * *

There was the growing pain of his magic, which he had not felt since puberty. There was a certain volatility to it that he previously had under control. He found himself struggling to remember the techniques. But having it back made him feel a little less awful. He could  _ feel _ the connection between himself and Amalia again. In his rare moments alone, he trained in an old courtyard. It was so nice not to have to fight to hide it anymore. An intense relief. It would take time to get back to his previous level of power, if it happened at all. But it gave him some small shred of hope, knowing me might be able to fix what was between himself and Demyx.

One late spring day, he and Ansem went on television. Freeing the media had unleashed the true horrors of what had happened while the city was under siege; but at the same time, there was an avenue for expression, and it was a way for them to learn what needed to be fixed. 

Ienzo knew that in an alternate life he would’ve had a very different relationship to the press. Tabloids and paparazzi would’ve eviscerated his every move. He was aware he had missed a lot of so-called royal “milestones”; his twenty-first birthday would’ve signified his acceptance of his duty, in essence a sort of coronation. And of course, everything surrounding the birth of his child. There would’ve been announcements, a baby shower, a presentation of her as the new heir to the public. He likely would’ve gotten married. Ienzo had never particularly missed these things, but being in this castle, and finally being able to accept his role, meant that a lot of those things would be coming back. He had to get used to being called “your highness” in daily conversation.

They were interviewed by a journalist that had been previously jailed. Ansem had coached him on some things, but told him for the most part to simply be himself, to be honest, because the populace could feel that sort of thing. He wore a suit that had been dressed down enough to be somewhat casual.

“Forgive me, your highness, but this has all been terribly confusing,” the journalist said. The lights in the study were hot, and Ienzo felt himself sweating in the jacket. “One moment you’re a woman, and  _ dead _ , and the next, you’re  _ you _ , and alive, and declaring allegiance with the enemy of the state. Frankly, there are some out there thinking you’re a decoy.”

“I can only imagine how overwhelming it’s all been. Where have we been hiding? Why haven’t we been helping sooner? The thing is… for the longest time the situation has been out of our hands--mine, and my father’s. It was only through extraordinary circumstances I ended back up here, in this castle. I was taken from my family. At the time, it seemed best… that I try to undermine Xehanort the only way I knew how--manipulation. Subterfuge.” He cleared his throat. 

“Is it true you were the one to personally take him down?”

“It… is.” He swallowed. “He harmed the one I cared for most, in front of me. My power… went wild.”

“So you did not want him dead?”

“I wanted him to pay for his crimes.” 

“Do you suppose he has?”

“No. Not quite. Not even close. The earth was being poisoned. If something hadn’t been done to him, who knew how long it would’ve been before we all… suffered for it? Starved, fell to darkness, worse?” He had to close his eyes for a moment. “I am cognizant that it will take time for everyone to forgive me. I hope I can be a good ruler.” Ansem nodded once in encouragement. “I am here to listen to  _ you _ , to serve  _ you _ . Not the other way around. We’ve developed a system to hear your needs. Please do not hesitate to reach out. I know my ascension back has not been… typical. I know there’s uncertainty around it, and a lack of trust. But I hope to earn that trust.”

“I’m sure that will be widely utilized.” A smile. 

“Moreover, I can… prove, I am the real deal.” He got up and crossed over to the spot they’d set Amalia down. He brought her gently into his arms. “This is my daughter.” It physically pained him to show her to the cameras. “Her name is Amalia.”

“She does look just like you.”

“So know that I am not lying when I say I am devoted to the improvement of this country. I want my child--and yours--to be safe, happy, and want for nothing.” He offered a small smile. “But to get there we have to work together.” 

* * *

Keeping track of everything took immense effort. But there were some things Ienzo had to know for sure. Questions he still had. There'd been so much buildup to his coup only for it to happen quickly and, to a degree, involuntarily. Trying to sleep at night, he saw Demyx bleeding in his mind's eye, felt the crunch and snap as his knife cut into Xehanort. Ienzo wished he felt guilty about it, but honestly, if given the chance, he'd do it again.

He needed to see Braig.

The man had been placed on a sort of house arrest. Nobody could define his crimes for sure, other than having broken his royal oath to the crown by becoming Xehanort's guard. But given that he had assisted in the assassinations and helped _restore_ the crown, it was hard to say if he was guilty. Or if he _felt_ that way. Several royal lawyers and investigators were trying to determine what--or if--there was a case.

The rooms he were being held in were comfortable, but sterile. When Ienzo entered the room, he dutifully got up. "Your _highness_ ," he said, bowing. "To what do I owe the pleasure."

Ienzo fought to keep the scowl off of his face. "I'd like to talk to you," he said.  He gestured vaguely at the sofa in the room. Ienzo sat. "Has your stay been comfortable?"

"These rooms have been mine for years. This is as comfortable as it gets." He marked his place in a book and sat back in the opposing seat. "Looks like you've been causing quite a stir. They let me have the papers. First out trans royal. First royal in seven hundred years to have a kid before marriage. First royal to commit an assassination." He ticked them off on his fingers. "The list goes on, I'm sure."

Ienzo took a deep breath. "About that. I have some questions."

He slung one leg over the other. "Shoot. I ain't got anything better to do."

"If you knew what Xemnas and I were planning, why didn't you help us sooner? Your intelligence could've helped us immensely. Could have kept them alive long enough to be tried. We could've done this... in a civil way."

Braig cocked his head. "Ain't nothing "civil" about what the old man did," he said. "That fucker wasn't going nowhere without force. What he was doing... way I see it, three bodies are a hell of a lot better than the millions--more--that would've resulted if the planet fell. I saw an opening. I took it."

"You could've been helping the resistance for years."

He raised his eyebrow. "Ienzo, let's be real. The resistance, before you were finally allowed to _do something_ , wasn't doing much more than hiding you and your dad and gathering information. Hiding out. Keeping secrets. If Xehanort had gotten wind before he had of what you'd done, he would've crushed it like that." He snapped his fingers. "It was kinda luck that he didn't know what breaking that bond would do to you."

"How did you--"

"I felt it," he said tiredly. "You know I worked alongside your dad and Even for years. I was there when they decided to go through with it."

Ienzo felt very cold.

"You know they framed it as an arranged marriage? The royal--sorry--princess, and a young merman from Destiny Islands. They hoped the match would bring unity. But then the riots eviscerated the colony. Maybe I didn't know the whole _extent_ of what the soulbond would do. But I figured it would be more than what was bargained for." He exhaled. "Besides. A life working for the resistance is no kind of life. I could scrape by here... or risk my life. I had to wait for an opportunity to "help." One I felt when your little baby was born." 

He didn't know what to say.

"Sorry, kid, but that's the truth. Stay alive and wait for something concrete... or help the resistance and get myself killed."

"Right," he said numbly. He thought of all the times Braig had played with him. In the end... it had just been a job. "Thanks for telling me all this." He stood. 

"That's all you've got?"

"Yes." He turned. "Though I guess I must thank you. Your assistance was critical to control of the capitol. That will be noted."

Braig stood and bowed again. "Your highness."

* * *

Ienzo was exhausted, but he could not sleep. It had been another long day of politics, of listening to citizen’s concerns--of which there were many, and while most were valid, the small minority was infuriating--of trying to parent his daughter through all of it. Traditionalists had railed into his interview in the papers, openly wondering if he were capable of ruling a population he had hid from so long. They criticized his child out of wedlock, his lack of a degree. Some of the bolder, crueller ones had asked if he could be trusted if he couldn’t even decide on his gender (as though this was a recent change).

But at the same time… a certain type of support. People his age were open to change, wanted someone at the helm  _ more like them _ , more willing to make these seismic changes to tradition and bring the monarchy into the post-Xehanort age. It was a massive responsibility, and he was feeling the pressure.

He was standing out on the balcony of his quarters. It was a full moon, its light feeling good on his skin. He was getting stronger, but not  _ quickly _ enough. 

“...Come here often?”

The voice startled him. Demyx was standing there in his robe, a glass of some kind of drink in either hand. “...I needed some air.”

Demyx offered him the drink. “I was making one for myself, and I thought… well. Doing what you do, you need one.”

“...You’re quite right.” He smiled a little. 

“One of the perks about this place, huh. The booze.” He joined Ienzo at the railing.

“...Is Amalia alright?”

“Out like a light. Why?”

“...You scarcely talk to me anymore unless it’s about her.”

He sighed heavily and swilled the liquid around in his glass. “I’ve been thinking a lot, about, well, everything. I want to talk. Even if we have to get really drunk to do so.”

His lips twitched into a hesitant smile. “Alright. I’m game.” He tossed back the drink; it burned all the way down. Without a word, Ienzo went back inside, over to the small tea and alcohol table in the main room. “What are you having?”

“Moscow mule?”

“Excellent choice.”

It didn’t take long for him to start feeling it; even with the magic, his pregnancy had vastly decreased his tolerance. He found himself sitting on the floor by the fireplace, leaning heavily against the couch. 

“I used to be able to… fuckin… pound four or five shots and be  _ fine _ ,” Demyx mumbled against the couch cushion. “Is this, like, superbooze?”

“Blood loss can reset tolerance, so I’ve heard.” He hiccupped. “Lay it on me. Tell me everything.”

He considered. “I’m such a fucking coward,” he said. “Like… I know you didn’t want to go. You didn’t  _ want _ to leave the… baby. But I… you left me  _ alone _ with her. And that just made me… when he cut us off…”

“It made you resent me.”

He sniffled and took a sip of his drink. “Yeah. It’s fucked up. And then I couldn’t even just  _ talk _ to you about it like a human cause I was so butthurt.”

“...I think “butthurt” is unkind to yourself. You’re a seeker, Demyx, and you lost part of that. It seems as though this was a cumulation of a lot of loss. Your memory, your form.”

“I looked for you for so long and he took you from me.”

“...I know.”

“And he took the feelings, and then all of a sudden we’re  _ here _ and you’re trying to go back to normal. Well it isn’t normal. I don’t know if it ever will be.” 

“Why would we want normal?”

“Cause I loved you. And despite how fucked things were, when I loved you it didn’t matter how  _ bad _ it was. And I’m sitting in a fucking  _ castle _ complaining about it.”

“Do you think you could love me again?”

He looked at him hazily. “I want to. I want to so bad. But I jus…” He pressed his face against the couch cushion. “Will that love ever be the same? Or will we just feel empty?”

“Do you feel empty now?”

He swallowed. “Yeah. And I just… all of a sudden it’s royal this and royal that and I’m not ready.”

“I’m not either. There’s a country, Demyx, a country that  _ I _ have to take care of. I’m only twenty-one. I dropped out of college after my first year because I got  _ pregnant _ , for gods’ sake. And now I can barely take care of my baby? I just used her as a prop for PR.”

“Mmm. A little.”

“I just feel like I can’t help anyone. Me, you, her, all of the thousands of  _ people _ that live here, that are hurting. And I…” He took a deep breath. “I killed people, and I don’t even feel a little bit sorry.”

Demyx blew a raspberry. “You killed Xehanort. Why feel bad about that?”

“I dunno, cause Even feels bad about killing the older one?”

“Listen, Ienzo, Even’s fucking _weird_.”  
  
He chuckled a little. 

“Like, I love him. He’s great. But he’s not good at feelings. It’s just like, there there.” He patted Ienzo’s shoulder. “What, that didn’t help?”

The chuckle became a laugh. Ienzo felt heavy. “Try going through puberty with him in the house. He helped me transition. But that doesn’t mean he understood any of it.”

Demyx laughed too. Then, sobering a little. “I guess we get a choice,” he said softly.

“We do.”

“What do you want?”

“I meant what I said, when I said I loved you. I want… in the Forecast, we were apparently together. I want that. I want…” His eyes watered. “I want to have a perfectly boring life with you, Demyx. I want us to fight over what to make for dinner and take our daughter to the park and go on road trips, and have a house with a stupid chore wheel. I want to be able to visit friends and I want to maybe have another baby. Someday. I want you to be able to do your music and I want her to grow up happy because we love each other, and we love  _ her.” _

He sniffled. “I want… I want it too.” He swallowed. “I’ll try. I’ll try, okay?”

* * *

It took time. Weeks of talking, of figuring things out. Of getting to know each other in earnest. Weeks of moments stolen between Ienzo’s endless meetings, after they put their daughter down. Of dinners, and walks, seeking and finding.

Things began to calm in the west, the new initiatives redeveloping the trust in the monarchy. They all went on a few diplomatic trips, to oversee the reconstruction, literally and emotionally. The people were shattered. Ienzo brought the baby with him, when it was safe to do so; she seemed to help raise morale. He and Ansem sold off some of the royal treasures--hoarded by Xehanort’s youngest son--to help pay for this infrastructure. Things were just things. Ienzo did not  _ need _ accoutrement to do his job.

There was also the matter of Xemnas.

He was working hard, in earnest, wherever he was allowed to be. Ansem had offered him some amnesty, but he didn’t seem to want it, content to live in his quarters and advise where he could. He helped Even work trying to heal the remaining living victims. With Kairi’s magic, they were able to wake many of the catatonic. They began to understand hearts, what made them work. 

It was good to have friends.

It seemed to cheer Demyx a great deal, to see them again. Everyone wondered over the baby. They would sit and talk for hours and hours. Riku told them the stories of working in the resistance, of helping something resembling peace be restored. 

With the calm in the west, Aeleus and Isa came back; so did Dilan. Isa had a limp, and Aeleus had a long scar on his forearm. “It is good to be home,” Aeleus said. “You’ve done well, Ienzo.”

He sighed. “Not really. Not hardly.” 

“The people have hope. They didn’t before. The world is healing.”

“I just hope for a little peace. Especially for you. I can only imagine the horrors you’ve seen.”

He smiled, but it was sad. “It hasn’t been easy. And I am tired.”

“Stay here, Aeleus. With us. I could use a guard.”

He drew him into an embrace. “You don’t need to ask twice.”

* * *

Isa and Xemnas served as subjects for study, to see if something could be done about their degradation. They were not the only ones who had been “enhanced,” but the rest just seemed to have disappeared, giving Ienzo anxiety of another coup. Even was optimistic that he could at the very least prolong their lives, and was trying to devise a way to give them replica bodies. The only good thing about all that human experimentation was that progress had been made on them. 

How odd, to settle into something like regular life, despite its constant grind. Summer came to the city, and to celebrate her first birthday, Ienzo and Demyx took Amalia to the beach.

She was growing so fast. Not so long ago she’d taken her first steps, and Ienzo had actually been there to see it--she’d stumbled, so hesitantly, right into his open arms. Her little vocalizations sounded more like words--she’d looked him right in the eyes for that perfect “dada.” 

It was an overcast July day, and the water was warm. “Okay, moment of truth,” Demyx said, wrangling her in her little pink swimsuit. “Zo, you ready?”

“Always.”

“Alright. One, two--”

They brought her into the waves, and she seemed to be having the time of her life, yelling “ya!” over and over again at the top of her lungs. 

“Please be careful,” Even called from the shore. “Goodness, the last we need is a repeat of what happened to you, Ienzo.”

Demyx just smiled and rolled his eyes. 

Ienzo had to admit he felt some anxiety himself. It wasn’t like she could fully understand that she had to hold her breath, and they weren’t really sure she  _ needed _ to. They both took one of her hands, and after a moment, ducked under the waves.

It was quiet here. Calm. She had her eyes open wide, but she did not seem afraid. Not at all. She just grinned at Ienzo, and a moment later, there her little tail was. Demyx gasped a little, air escaping him, and were it not for the water Ienzo would be sure he was crying. After a long moment, they both had to emerge to breathe.

“Well?” Isa asked.

Demyx held her up. “Look. Look at her.” 

Ienzo traced the blue-green scales, so like the ones on her back. “Did yours look like this?”

“Yes.” He sniffled. “I’m so… I’m so proud of you, sweetie.” He hugged her tightly, and she struggled. “She wants to go back in.”

“Go,” Ienzo said. “Spend as long as you need.” Clearly this was an important moment for his culture; he’d learned that seekers tended to reproduce like humans, and introduce the children to their heritage once they’d grown a little. 

So he did, and they all watched for a time. There was a warm pride in his breast.

“Maybe the seekers will make a return,” Isa said softly.

“It’s just the two of them, and they’re family,” Ienzo said. “We’ll have to wait and see if she passes it to her own children.” But seeing him, Ienzo realized the horrible dullness had left Demyx’s face, had been gone a long time. His heart started. “Her children. Gods.”

He chuckled a little. “A likely scenario. Things are so much more… peaceful.”

“Not good. But better. We’re not so in crisis that I can’t enjoy my daughter’s first birthday. To think… so much has happened this year.”

“And much to come.” He smiled. “You bought us time, Ienzo. However small. It is nice to know things are on an upward trajectory… as it were.” 

"I... I have to thank you, Isa," he said. "For taking care of my family when I was gone. I know I... took that choice from you."

"I offered myself. It was my choice, to a degree. But... working for the light... I'm starting to feel... like I am not all wretched." He looked out towards the sea. "Having bonds with people again, being able to do something _good_ with everything that's been done to me... is more reward than I ever expected."

Ienzo took a deep breath. "I think it's safe to say your debt has been more than repaid," he said.

Isa looked back at him. In the intervening months, the experimental treatments had began bringing his eyes closer to a natural teal. "Thank you for that," he said. "Though I intend to keep this position, debt or no."

"Just know you _can_ leave."

"I know." 

The rest of the day was what Ienzo supposed a normal child’s birthday might be like, sans the mermaid tail--cake, lots of sand and surf. And the end of the day Amalia was exhausted, asleep in his arms, barely waking to take a bath. She slept before Ienzo could even read her a story.

He felt… strangely at peace.

A hand on his back startled him. “What a day.”

“It’s amazing. I’m so happy for you, Demyx.”

“I mean, I knew, but I didn’t  _ know _ . It’s just a reminder that… it’s not all lost. For once, I’m actually excited about the future. What she’s capable of. What’s in store… for us.” He looked at Ienzo, and his heart stuttered again. 

“You know,” Ienzo said softly, “My magic… is recovered to the point where I can repair the soulbond.”

“It is?” He squeezed his eyes shut. He laughed a little, and then he reached over to cup Ienzo’s face. “I’m… I don’t know. I kind of like things the way they are.”

He was shaking. “You do?”

“It just feels… right.”

There was a moment, a moment of breath--Ienzo leaned forward to kiss him.

They hadn’t kissed in some months, not since that horrible day they’d found out the bond was broken. This kiss didn’t feel like that. It felt  _ alive. _ Demyx pulled away with a gasp. “Ienzo.”

“What?”

“I feel it. I feel something. You didn’t--”

“No. I promise I didn’t do anything.”

He laughed and kissed him again, and Ienzo pulled him close, and they were kissing long and hard in the cool of the summer night, and he felt like something was waking up, not quite so intense but so  _ steady _ . Demyx’s tongue eased into his mouth. Ienzo pressed him against the glass door. He’d missed the feel of Demyx’s hands on him, a warm wanting curling inside of him. Demyx’s hand slid down over his ass, and he broke away to kiss at his throat, the taste of him. Ienzo pressed a little closer; he could feel his half-hard dick through his swim trunks and reached to rub at it. 

“Take me to bed,” Ienzo said. “Now, or else--”

“Being indecent?”

“This balcony is not  _ completely _ obscured from view--” Ienzo grasped his hand and pulled him inside, but they hadn’t even fully gotten to the bed before Demyx was working at his shirt, his own bathing suit, and it had been so  _ long _ that he could already feel he was getting wet-- He pushed Demyx down onto the bed.

“I like you being in control,” Demyx said breathlessly. 

Ienzo tugged off the rest of his clothing. It felt so  _ good _ to have his skin touching Ienzo’s again, his cock so close to that part of him, that for a moment he couldn’t help but grind against it, turning to kiss his chest-- Then he saw the scar. A thick, puckered line below his heart, roughened and still pink. “Oh,” Ienzo said softly.

“Like I said. Ugly. I can--put my shirt back on--”

“No.” He leaned down to kiss it, make his peace with it. Run his tongue along it.

“Ienzo, please--” Demyx slid his hand against Ienzo’s thigh, finding his clit, and feeling those callused fingers there after so long had him gasping. His hips bucked a little against Demyx’s hand. 

“I want…” He could barely get the words out. “I want…” He grasped at Demyx’s dick, working it over, and heard him moan.

“Can you--” He helped Ienzo ease it inside of him.

It felt like coming home, like setting down something heavy. Ienzo began to rock against him slowly. He wanted to take his time with this, and being any quicker or rougher would only make it shorter. It was just  _ them _ in this moment, a real connection. Demyx wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer, kissing him softly. He thrusted against Ienzo more insistently, and the shift made him shudder, grinding against his clit in  _ just _ the right way. A small sound left him, and then less quietly. He grasped one of Demyx’s hands and held it tightly.

The movement had become a little more urgent. He felt Demyx’s cock tense inside of him  _ beautifully _ . He’d needed this, this vulnerability, this time to just focus on each other. 

Too soon, Demyx was withdrawing, moving back on the bed. “What are you--”

“Come here.”

Ienzo did so without questioning. He was kneeling, so Ienzo straddled him, bringing his dick back inside, and he could feel it  _ so _ much more comfortably.

“Better?”

“Almost too much so,” he muttered. He could barely catch his breath. It was easier to kiss him like this, so Ienzo did, rocking harder. He felt another quiver, this one less faint. 

“I-I’m pretty close.”

“I can tell.” Ienzo ground against him. It all threatened to come apart, and he was trembling, each thrust tightening the knot in him until it was nearly painful. Ienzo couldn’t do anything other than hold onto him and try not to drown. He pulled out more of it each time, and he was  _ so _ , so close to giving in.

“Ienzo… please…” 

He tightened his grip on him and took it as much as he could before he felt it happen, warmth rolling through him and making him spasm, and Ienzo tried to muffle this much louder noise against Demyx’s shoulder. A fuzzy sort of release flooded his magic, making him so much lighter, a sensation doubled down when he felt Demyx finish.

They collapsed onto the bed, breathless.

“Fuck,” Demyx said.

“...Yes.”

“I don’t think… it’s ever felt like that.” He glanced over to him. “...Your hair…”

In it, a realization. “I think we pairbonded.”

Demyx snorted, and then started to laugh, and Ienzo did too. “We’re gonna wake her up.”

“If we didn’t already.” He sat up a little. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He kissed him. “Let’s get some sleep.”

They made love on and off throughout the night, reaching for one another whenever they treaded consciousness. It almost felt like making up for lost time. When Ienzo finally got up for real, he felt shaky, sore, and exhausted, but it was a pleasant sensation. He took a long, hot shower and headed towards their daughter’s room. Demyx sat on the bed, perturbed. 

“I’m itchy,” he said in a weird voice.

“...Itchy?”

“...Like…” He bent his arm to touch his back. “Ienzo. Look at it. Look at it.”

“I’m coming. Calm down.” He grasped his shoulders and looked at Demyx’s shoulders.

The skin was  _ just _ starting to break along the blades. Ienzo traced a finger along them, feeling the barest tips of something harder than skin. “Demyx…”

He clapped a hand over his mouth. “No  _ fucking _ way.” He looked up at him, tears in his eyes. “No way.”

Ienzo smiled.


	28. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes. The kingdom recovers. A prophecy comes full circle.

Life was a work in progress. There were periods of unrest in the kingdom which were not always easy to smooth over with words, but Ansem did not want to use force. “Remember, Ienzo, a riot is the language of the unheard.” 

Flowers began to bloom in Radiant Garden again. There was still signs of destruction everywhere--rubble, smashed out windows, destroyed buildings. But piece by piece, it was getting put together. The resistance based itself in the capital city and started what it called a “restoration committee,” not just to restore the city, but the whole kingdom. 

Demyx spent a lot of time at the beach with Amalia, now that they both had their forms. Ienzo wondered if it would be salt in wounds to go to Destiny Islands at some point. He would ask when he felt ready.

Something else was growing too.

When he felt the nausea, the fatigue and dizziness, and the achiness, Ienzo did not delude himself into denial as he did the last time. He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, good and hard. He held his hand in front of his stomach and reached out, tentatively. Something was there, a potential for a new life. But he did not feel the overwhelmed sense of panic he had when he was first pregnant with Amalia. He was still young, ridiculously so, but would this be so terrible?

He sought Even, who was busy puttering around the labs. There was light in his eyes again, joy, at having something productive to do. In fact, he did not seem bothered by Ienzo’s interruption. “No bureaucratic nonsense today?”

“My father insisted I take the morning off.”

“Your daughter?”

“Out swimming. I swear, sometimes I have difficulty getting the two of them to come home.”

“...It is good, to see Demyx happy again. I was… concerned.”

“Were you? You could barely stand each other in the beginning.”

Even rolled his eyes and pulled off his goggles. “Adversity draws people together,” he said. “I wonder often… if I have hardened my heart too much. I am trying… to let people back in.” 

“And how is that going?”

He considered. “It is going,” he said. “But better than being stalled. Good to be… active. And to see you some semblance of safe at last.”

Ienzo came a bit closer. He was working on one of the replicas, a faceless white mannequin half covered with a sheet. “Does it feel good to see your work come to fruition?”

“It is bittersweet--putting it mildly.” He sighed. “If not for… that creature’s breakthroughs, this would not be possible.”

“It is still your creation.” Ienzo paused. “Even, have you met Xion?”

He fussed with tubes of mystery fluid. “Who?”

“Xion, Xemnas’s… ward. I shall have to introduce you.”

His eyes snapped up. “Why?”

“Because she  _ is _ one of the replicas.”

“Of whom?”

“Of nobody. Herself.”

Even grasped his shoulders. “And you only tell me this now, boy?”

“Please be gentle with me, Even.”

He seemed to be reeling. “...Why?”

“I find myself to be in an indelicate condition. As it were.”

He turned red. “ _ Again _ ? Child, you know what causes that, right?”

Ienzo chuckled. “Would it be so terrible, to get the childrearing over with while my father is still able to help me rule?”

Even pressed a hand to his forehead and sputtered wordlessly. After a moment, he composed himself and held a hand over Ienzo’s stomach. “...Quite. I do not know whether to laugh… or cry…”

“Go seek Xion. She’s a guard on the upper floors. I know that’s where your heart is.”

He was already taking his coat off, grabbing a tablet computer. “Yes… right… we can discuss this later…” And he was out the door. 

Ienzo returned to their rooms. To his surprise, Demyx and Amalia were back. “Done for the day already?”

Demyx gestured out the window. “It’s gonna storm. Plus I figured I owe you some lunch.” He leaned forward to kiss him, and Ienzo could taste the salt. 

“Ra!” Amalia said.

“Right, rain.” Ienzo crouched down and smoothed the wet hair from her face. 

“I’m gonna get cleaned up. What do you feel like? There’s this new place that’s opened back up not far out of the gates--”

Ienzo followed him into the bathroom. Demyx laughed a little.

“Look, I’d be so down, but like, she’s right in the other room--”

“I’m pregnant.” He didn’t know why the words had to leave him now, without ceremony.

Demyx just blinked. “Really?”

“Yes. Really.”

“Oh…” A small smile. “Oh… Do you want to--”

“I… want them.” He swallowed. “Get it over with while we’re young, right? While my father is still helping me? I can’t imagine going through this while being fully responsible for everything else.”

Demyx hugged him. “Round two?”

“...It seems so. I mean, to be fair, we were not the least bit careful, and it has been happening  _ quite _ a lot lately--”

He kissed his forehead. “They’re going to be great.”

* * *

As it stormed later that night… Ienzo lay awake. He’d been even more of an insomniac during pregnancy, and he hadn’t much missed that. But he could not sleep. Demyx, who could basically sleep at will, had one arm draped over his stomach.

A particularly loud peal of thunder made Demyx stir, and from the other room Ienzo heard Amalia shriek and start to cry. Demyx’s eyes fluttered open. “It’s okay,” Ienzo told him. “I’ve got this. Go back to sleep.”

The drawing room had been turned into a nursery more fully now, the soft light of the mobile reflecting the rain in the room. Amalia was still crying. Ienzo leaned over the crib and hefted her into his arms. He settled in the old rocking chair. “It’s just a storm, sweetheart,” he said.

“Bad,” she said. “Bad, bad.”

“I know. It scared you.” He rocked gently. “I’m here. I’ll keep you safe. How about a story?”

Ienzo told her a story he’d learned from Demyx, about a rainbow fish that gradually gave up its scales to help others. He let his power cast a quiet illusion along the walls, of a deep blue sea, of that same fish swimming seemingly in midair. Somewhere in this, she fell back asleep, and rather than put her back in her crib, Ienzo remained there, thinking.

She hadn’t mentioned a sibling in the Forecast. Her words had been “we live with dad and grandpa in the castle”. If he gave birth on schedule, that child would be her age by the time of the Forecast.

But at the same time, toddlers were selfish. It could’ve just slipped her mind. Perhaps she was closer to Even or Ansem than her own sibling. Ienzo took a deep breath. Part of pregnancy was being illogically anxious.

It would be fine.

* * *

Perhaps it was for this reason, but Ienzo kept news of this child from Ansem. A few weeks passed, tremulously. He kept at work, meeting officials, sitting in committee meetings, deciding, deciding. Helping organize a parliamentary election.

After one such meeting, he was gathering his papers to return to his study when he felt a cramp, hard. He gasped aloud. “Are you alright, your highness?” Lydia asked. She was back to her post as librarian, and she’d brought him some books. 

He blinked. “I’m… fine,” he said woodenly. Cramping during the first few months was normal, wasn’t it? Might be worth getting himself examined anyway. “It is nothing.”

“...Alright. Well, pardon me for overstepping, but perhaps you might rest. It’s been a long day.”

He swallowed, trying to choke down the dread. “I shall. Thank you.”

He made his way back not towards his rooms, but towards Even. The pain stuck him hard under the heart, and he had to duck into a bathroom before he lost composure. He wasn’t sure what whisper of an instinct told him so, but he pulled down his pants and checked his underwear.

Blood. A not-insignificant amount. He stuffed one of the small folded hand towels between his legs--mentally apologizing to the launderers--and hazily kept going. He almost stumbled getting the lab door open. “Even,” he said, and perhaps it was his tone, but the man immediately looked up. 

“Ienzo, what--”

“Something isn’t right. With the baby.”

He grabbed him immediately and herded him over to one of the replicas’ exam tables. “And yet you drag yourself all the way down here instead of going to the infirmary.”

“I wasn’t--I didn’t want--”

He touched his face. “I know, love. Wait--are you--”

The blood must’ve seeped through the hand towel. “Fuck,” Ienzo murmured. He felt the coldness of Even’s magic assessing him. 

He turned pale. “Ienzo, I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do.”

“But is it--”

“There’s no heartbeat, and you’ve lost quite a bit of blood. There’s no… life.”

Another cramp overtook him. “They weren’t in the Forecast--I tried to convince myself it was not so--”

“I know. I know, love. We should get you to the infirmary--”

“Please, no.” He felt more wetness between his legs.

“You’re losing too much blood to justify receiving care from only me.”

How awkward, and humiliating. Even carried him like a child. Hazily, he was changed, cleaned, given something to absorb the blood, fluids, painkillers. He let himself ride this quasi-consciousness, until a hand took his. “Zo?”

“Demyx? I--I’m sorry…” He swallowed, feeling a lump in his throat. “I lost it…” His hair obscured things from view.

“The important thing is you’re okay.”

“She didn’t mention them, I should’ve known--”

Demyx drew him close and held him for a long time.

* * *

It took him a while to recover from the miscarriage. Not so much physically--he was back to “normal” within several days--but emotionally he felt scrambled, exhausted. He did not know it was possible to love something so small so much.

Ansem insisted he take time off. Demyx waited on him hand and foot, but he was shaken too. Ienzo slept too much, could barely look at Amalia. He was taking a bath, his mind positively going nowhere, eyes unfocused on the ceiling tiles, when he heard small footsteps. “Da-dee?”

Wearily, he looked over. “What is it, love?”

She was holding her favorite stuffed animal, a unicorn she’d named Pinky. She offered it to him. 

“Thank you, but I don’t want Pinky to get wet.” He set the toy on the chair by the tub. 

She leaned over the lip of the tub. “Hurt?” she said.

“I’m just tired, love.”

“Hurt,” she asserted.

Ienzo sighed. “Yes, I’m sad. You know it’s okay to be sad sometimes, right?”

She nodded. “Help?”

He kissed her. “You already are.” 

* * *

Perhaps because it was through this particular lens of sadness, but suddenly it seemed strange that he, governed so by emotions, be the one responsible for the welfare of this country. He, whose sole “mandate to rule” was his power. Why was it that, despite humanity’s long and colorful history in this country, there had never been strides made towards democracy, or anything other than absolute power?

There had been abdications, in the past. Ienzo found himself reading about them voraciously. There had been some good reasons for such actions--fundamental disagreements about faith and the way the country should be governed, a lack of acceptance of sexuality or gender, the heir apparent believing they were not competent enough--and some not so. Considering the convoluted transfer of power, from firstborn to firstborn  _ only _ , it was amazing the monarchy had not collapsed under its weight or lost its power somewhere in the past. Should the firstborn, say, die in a tragic accident, or from an aneurysm prior to having an heir, that power was simply  _ lost _ for a generation. And should that first child be sufficiently…  _ along _ , enough in utero, and something were to happen to them, that counted. 

Ienzo needed to talk to Ansem. “Father?”

He took off his glasses. “What is it?”

“Can I talk to you?”

He offered a smile. “Of course. How are you feeling, dear heart?”

He sighed and sat down. “This has all been very… overwhelming.”

“I’m sure. Loss of a child… even one that is not yet living… is very heavy stuff indeed.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about… mortality. Human weakness. Limitations of the body.” He found himself looking at his knees. “The fragility of my… power. How does it make me qualified to rule? The child I lost… could very well have been Amalia, some months along the line. Suddenly that power is gone.” He touched his abdomen. “Father, this whole monarchy… is starting to feel very…”

“Pointless?” He rubbed his brows. “I agree entirely. But the last thing people need right now is a radical change in government. We’re only  _ just _ settling. Imagine what might happen if we suddenly propose some other form of rule?”

“...I know.”

“Once this is all over… I’m wondering if we should…”

“...Abdicate?” He cocked his head slightly. 

Ienzo took a breath. “Am I a traitor for even thinking it?”

“Oh, Ienzo. No. Not at all. Class division is part of how we got into this mess in the first place. That you seek to abolish it shows your love for your people. Perhaps it might be worth it to consider the schema as to how this will be put in place.”

Ienzo let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Truthfully?”

“Truly.”

“...Thank you.”

* * *

Time passed.

Amalia was growing so  _ quickly _ . She started to speak more clearly, in longer sentences. She started to show more magic. Once, Ienzo walked into her room and saw books hanging in the air all around them. “Look,” she said. “They’s flying.”

Demyx expressed his own desire to do work of some kind. “People need art,” he told Ienzo. “They’re going to need a way to deal with all that pain.” Together, they jumpstarted a national art program. To finally be active, to finally be helping people in a meaningful way… Ienzo felt… fulfilled.

This was all going to take work, probably constantly. But that there might be a day where they could have a simple, happy life with their family gave him pleasure.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have been surprised, but one spring day Amalia asked if they could go on a picnic. The day was sunny, the flowers were in bloom. He was sitting on a blanket on a patch of grass in the plaza. He worked the teardrop-shaped pendant absently with one hand. He knew that at some point they'd have to formally get married as long as he was in the public eye. But for now... this was enough.

“Daddy, look!” She opened her hands, revealing a small magic flower. “I made it!”

“Oh, sweetie, it’s beautiful.” The deja vu struck him with insistence.

She smiled widely, and reached to be picked up, so he did. “Can we go to the garden?” 

“Of course.” Demyx was supposed to meet them there after his lesson in the city. He took the picnic blanket and set off.

“Do you think this is real?”

“What do you mean, love?”

“This. Right now.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I dunno… a ‘motion I had.”

“A feeling?” Ienzo offered. Then, “I had a dream when I was pregnant with you.”

“When I was in your tummy?”

“That’s right. And you sent me a memory, of this moment, right now.”

“What I say?”

“You told me about our friends. The ones who met you when you were a baby.”

She laughed. “Isa and mister Xemnas.”

“Yes. You told me everything I needed to know. It’s because of you this is all like this, you know?”

“I know,” she said, unimpressed. “Where’s daddy?”

“He’s on his way.”

They passed through the castle gates to the gardens, which were lush and full again. Aerith was tending to the flowers; she waved. “Hi flower lady,” Amalia called loudly.

“Hey yourself,” she said back. 

Ienzo set down the blanket on a patch of clean glass.

“There’s my favorite girl.” Demyx set down the sitar. He scooped her up and gave her a kiss. “Did she give you much trouble?”

“Not today. Not yet. Did you get the i-c-e c-r-e-a-m?”

“Ice cream!” Amalia shouted. 

“Zo, she’s too smart for that.” Demyx laughed. “Sold out, I’m afraid.”

Ienzo sighed. He’d been looking forward to it all day.

“But I  _ did _ get these from someone at the lesson.” He handed Ienzo a bag with a pastry box inside. “Egg tarts. Several people told me they are to  _ die _ for.” He sat down with their daughter.

Ienzo took them out and handed one to Amalia. “...Do you know,” he began. “Today’s the day.”

Demyx frowned. “What day?”

“It all came full circle. The Forecast. On the way over here.”

“Oh… wow. Really?”

He smiled. “And the future is again aqueous.”

“Like that’s a bad thing? Look, if we knew every minute, we’d always be trying to  _ plan _ things. We wouldn’t get to decide.” He brushed a crumb from their daughter’s mouth. “Because of her… and you… we do now. I’m okay with that.”

“I… am too.” He swallowed. 

“It’ll be us against the world.” His eyes were so soft. 

“I know that.” He chuckled. “It’s terrifying, to have the choice. I think I’d like to finish university first.”

“School, school,” Amalia said eagerly. “Me and daddy go to school.” She was going to go to nursery school in the fall. 

“Daddy’s going to school for big kids,” Demyx said to her. “You’re going with kids your age. Little.”

“Not little.” She huffed, then brightened. “School and make lots of friends!”

“She’s like you all right,” Ienzo said. 

“Dunno. She’s too smart for her own good--like you.”

“I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up,” Ienzo admitted.

“I wanna be a cat doctor. Or a rockstar. Or maybe…” Amalia stuck out her tongue in thought. “Wanna be an  _ explorer _ .”

“You already are, silly.” Demyx tickled her, and she squealed. 

“I do still want to help people. Maybe psychology, or…” He trailed off. “To be determined.”

“Well, you’ve got time.” Demyx picked up one of the egg tarts and all but crammed it into Ienzo’s mouth. 

He scowled, but then, “These  _ are _ good.”

“Right?”

* * *

The sun was setting. Ienzo watched it from his alcove in the library. This was his favorite spot, its light, its smell of varnished wood and old books. But he wasn’t reading.

“...It is lovely, isn’t it?”

Ienzo looked up and saw Even, for once without his lab coat, his long hair pulled back into a ponytail. “Where were you?”

“I was… with your father. I’m afraid he made me take a walk in the garden.”

Ienzo felt his lips twitch into a smile. “Well, was it a nice walk?”

He wondered if he was imagining the blush. “It is good to get fresh air,” he said evasively. He leaned against the desk next to Ienzo. “So I hear you’re to… abdicate.”

“In several years, once things settle, but… yes. And Demyx will abdicate on Amalia’s behalf. No more royalty. Whatever we have left will simply be ceremonial, if that.”

Even chuckled gently. “All the time I spent defending the monarchy, and you’re giving it up. You  _ are _ making me gray, child.” But he said this pleasantly. “Yes… change is not so bad. The world needed it.  _ We _ needed it. We could not… run forever.”

“Do you feel good, to no longer be running?”

“I do,” he admitted. “I felt such a coward for so many years. To get my hands dirty is a relief.”

“I have to thank you, for all you’ve done for me. I took you for granted.”

Even reached over and brushed the hair out of his face. “Well raising you certainly wasn’t easy.”

He laughed a little.

“In all seriousness, Ienzo, I didn’t do it entirely out of duty. I loved you--and I still love you--as if you were my own. Bonds don’t change, the… lines between hearts.”

“Heartlines?” He raised his eyebrow. “My father  _ must _ be rubbing off on you. You were never so philosophical.”

“I am trying to open my heart.” He put a hand to his chest. “And it is painful, but I feel I am… growing. Never thought I would have to at my age.”

“And what of things with Xion?”

“She is a lovely girl. She’ll do well once she starts school. We’re trying to spend time together. In a way… she is my child.” A sigh. “Though this research… what right have I to create new life?”

“You saved many who would be the seeker of darkness’s victims.”

“...A cold comfort.” He tapped his fingertips together. “Come, then. That husband of yours is attempting to cook.”

Ienzo felt a shimmer at “husband”, but was it not true? Ceremony or no ceremony. “He’s a good cook, Even, you just have an unenlightened palette.” He stood and together they began to walk. 

“...I’ll just chalk it up to cultural differences. I suppose… all of this could’ve been much worse, yes?”

“It could’ve.” He paused. “Will we… once I leave this place, Even, will we still be part of one another’s lives?”

He seemed perturbed. “Of course, Ienzo. Always.” He squeezed his hand. “Don’t fear change the way I did.”

“I won’t.” He swallowed, feeling an unexpected rush of emotion. “I promise, I won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say a sincere THANK YOU to all those who have read, left kudos, and commented on this monster of a fic. I really enjoyed writing it, and I hoped you enjoyed reading it!
> 
> I've been considering writing something of an extended epilogue for this story, with Ienzo and co slowly adjusting to a normal, royal life. If you think that would interest you, please let me know!
> 
> Thanks again for taking the time to visit this story. I love you!
> 
> ~Alice


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